Please hold my hand. Possible breast cancer.

[LoveWins86]

I went to the doctor 2.5weeks ago with two new lumps in my right breast, one which moves around and feels smooth and is closer to my armpit, and the other, moves still but to my touch wasn't as smooth. She said they were probably fine, and both were smooth and movable, probably fibroadenomas caused by hormones. I'm 43, and still give my 4yr old a comfort feed to sleep (not sure they get any milk tho...)
I questioned her saying I felt the main lump in the breast wasn't as smooth and she reiterated it was, but referred me to the breast clinic.
Breast clinic is running behind (their words) in their appts, leaving me panicking by yesterday, so I went for a private ultrasound.
Well the sonographer wasn't very positive, said that the main lump is suspicious but she couldn't confirm either way.
Also some axillary tissue is different or something?
I'm just spiralling. I have three kids who i don't want to leave. If it is cancer, is the smaller, smooth lump already a cancerous lymph node meaning it has spread? The lump in the breast is about 2cm already and has 'some suspicious features'. I can't find a single picture on the internet that looks like mine, not even the cancerous ones. She mentioned a possibility of it being a lactating adenoma that could have been there a while but which I didn't notice until I deliberately lost 1.5stone. It seems unlikely though, given the second smooth lump?
NHS has finally given me an appt with a consultant for mammogram, ultrasound and biopsies for next Friday and in the meantime I am imagining it spreading, and me not being treatable. It's awful.
I really need a hand hold. And I need to be here for my kids.

@LoveWins86my MIL has been diagnosed recently and required an MRI prior to commencing chemotherapy. Hers is localised to her milk duct and is hers2 positive.
we felt like it’s a lot of waiting around to get to treatment point from diagnosis. All in all from appointment to start of treatment was 4.5 weeks by the time she had he biopsies back and other investigations

I had a fairly large tumour in one breast - grade 2 lobular cancer, one lymph node also with cancerous cells diagnosed in early February. I was sent for MRI and CT scan early on prior to mastectomy. All came back clear. Mastectomy in April and now 3/4 way through my chemo. Radiotherapy to follow.
it is a horrible journey we are all on. Chemo has not been pleasant but the worst was definitely the waiting for scan results or to even get these things booked in soon after diagnosis.
I feel for you OP and echo other posters in suggesting you reach out to the support that is there. Anxiety is normal and it can all seem overwhelming. I hope you don’t have too long to wait to get those scans done.

These breast histories are not good reading in themselves: But we are all here to tell of the time with BC and that is the positive side. Your timeline will probably be the same. The long waits, the soreness after biopsies, dreading the outcomes, the time the treatments will take. This time next year hopefully it will all be in the past and you will be healing. Look forward to a new and different you with hope.

I can't believe how many women go through this and my heart breaks that so many of us have to go through this. You are all amazing for replying to me and I am so grateful.
My bone scan is tomorrow. I am very scared, not least due to it requiring being injected with radiation and therefore having to be away from my kids afterwards. As if it isn't hard enough.
Then I have a ct scan on Saturday. Then I will be reunited with my babies before getting the results next Wednesday afternoon.
Every appointment so far has been so awful, every result has gone against statistics, and it feels like it will never end.
Thank you everyone.

Wishing you the very best for your scan tomorrow OP. It must be tough to be separated from your children on top of everything else. Sounds like it is going to be a long and stressful week. Will be thinking of you.

Hang in there OP, this is very definitely the worst bit. I’m now just over six weeks post-diagnosis and feel so much better now all the scans and biopsies are done and I know what I’m up against xx

@LoveWins86
Thinking of you...you'll get through the next couple of days, and keep busy with your family before next Wednesday. Then things will become easier as you know what you are dealing with. Stay strong. x

This is the worst bit OP. The whirlwind of appointments, scans, some with injected dye, some not. I just ticked them off as each finished and now that chemo has started, I'm more relaxed about it all. At first I just couldn't process it all but day by day you just sort of ease into it all. From the date they told me the results of the biopsy to the date of first chemo was 3.5 weeks with the first 2 weeks being CT, MRI, PET, bone scans plus echocardiogram and further biopsies on lymph nodes.

OP, have you started looking into clinical trials? It's worth doing some research now because some of the cutting edge treatments are only available via trials, and once you start conventional treatment you can limit your eligibility for trials. I came across this explanation of how to find them the other day which is useful: www.instagram.com/reel/DdCGTLiF8eq/?stkn=MW4yc3YydmwycW5tNA==

Thinking of you OP, hope you stop being radioactive soon so you can get back to cuddling your small folk x

Just dropping by to say my thoughts are with you and your family.

Sending you my best wishes OP - It really feels like a bomb being dropped in your life when you get the diagnosis.

Once treatment starts you feel a bit more in control, hoping your scans go well x

OP, you're in the eye of the storm. No treatment - surgery, chemo, radio, all that jazz - will be as bad as this shitty waiting-for-results period. This really is the worst. But try to see the tests as a positive if you can. Every test gives your doctors another clue, another data point, so that they can plan your treatment and get you through this in one piece. Because that's the plan here.

And maaaaybe a small amount of gallows humour could creep in if you dig extra deep. Radioactive injections? I'm sorry, but isn't that straight from one of those Marvel superhero story lines?! You might even glow in the dark if you look carefully... Or you might discover new powers... Like the ability to grin through your tears. (I might add that to my CV at some point. Or LinkedIn. Just watch me.)

Hang in there.

Thinking of you OP.

So crap isn’t it. Everything you wrote I felt when I was diagnosed. I got told the same as you on 19/12/23 I was grade 2 stage 2.
As you can see I’m 2 and 1/2 years out and still here!

I had the CT and bone scan too. Super paranoid why I needed it but it’s for the best. The radioactive dye freaked me out a bit but I was fine. Just lots of water after to get rid of it. I had two surgeries to get clear margins and 15 rads. No chemo. Now on tamoxifen for 7 years but I’ve done two. Don’t think I’ll do the full seven but that’s another conversation.
Hang in there, it does get better after you’ve gone through all this crap xx

I did too. And your messages so remind me of me in 2015. This part is quite possibly the hardest bit. The terror you are feeling is all to be expected. Sending you love. Can I also say that terrifying as it is the treatments now are so effective. My doctor told me that if I’d been diagnosed with stage four eleven years ago all they’d have had for me was chemo. Today it is very different. Xx

Hi all
Today has been quite a day. After six weeks, I finally have my full staging. I can barely believe it, but it's at 2b, and hopefully treatable. When I went in today, I can't describe how I felt. But I can say the poor consultant and nurse had to listen to me fully hyperventilating in front of them when they said, 'it's good news, both scans are clear for spread'
I just can't believe it, at all. I've had so much pain these last few weeks. Which I can now assume to be my usual muscle aches from being middle aged!
So, my 43yr old self is now gearing up for the fight, for the horrible treatments (starting with chemo because grade 3) but with a dollop of hope in my heart finally, that i may well get to see my babies grow up xxx

@LoveWins86 Thanks so much for updating us. So many people gunning for you. This is good news indeed, although you’re going to face tough times, you’re soon be on road to recovery. Sleep well tonight xx

I was hoping to read an update like this from you! Hold your babies close and just keep going.

Great news OP X

Very happy for you OP. I’m so glad it was not as bad as you feared.

Good on you. It’s gonna suck for a while but you’re gonna be okay xx

Have just read your update. Sending you very best wishes.

Hi OP, just seen and read your posts. I might be weird because I haven't really followed my breast cancer type, diagnosis, stage etc too carefully. I only think about each treatment stage to come.

I was diagnosed late March this year and had chemo from April to mid August. It wasn't a walk in the park but you will get through it. Take the anti nausea pills as they recommend, find a drink you can drink and keep hydrated. I couldn't bear water for most of the time..you need to flush the chemicals out after each infusion. Take it gently and you will be ok. The oncologists are always available, at least they were for me . You can message me if it would help. I never know much about my cancer type, as I said but I know it isn't the one that is fed by hormones..I have surgery next week. The doctors have all been amazing. You've got this ! Best wishes.

OP - so lovely to read your update. You got this! Xxx