Please hold my hand. Possible breast cancer.

[LoveWins86]

I went to the doctor 2.5weeks ago with two new lumps in my right breast, one which moves around and feels smooth and is closer to my armpit, and the other, moves still but to my touch wasn't as smooth. She said they were probably fine, and both were smooth and movable, probably fibroadenomas caused by hormones. I'm 43, and still give my 4yr old a comfort feed to sleep (not sure they get any milk tho...)
I questioned her saying I felt the main lump in the breast wasn't as smooth and she reiterated it was, but referred me to the breast clinic.
Breast clinic is running behind (their words) in their appts, leaving me panicking by yesterday, so I went for a private ultrasound.
Well the sonographer wasn't very positive, said that the main lump is suspicious but she couldn't confirm either way.
Also some axillary tissue is different or something?
I'm just spiralling. I have three kids who i don't want to leave. If it is cancer, is the smaller, smooth lump already a cancerous lymph node meaning it has spread? The lump in the breast is about 2cm already and has 'some suspicious features'. I can't find a single picture on the internet that looks like mine, not even the cancerous ones. She mentioned a possibility of it being a lactating adenoma that could have been there a while but which I didn't notice until I deliberately lost 1.5stone. It seems unlikely though, given the second smooth lump?
NHS has finally given me an appt with a consultant for mammogram, ultrasound and biopsies for next Friday and in the meantime I am imagining it spreading, and me not being treatable. It's awful.
I really need a hand hold. And I need to be here for my kids.

I’m sorry you’ve been diagnosed with IDC breast cancer. (Mine was ILC but also estrogen receptive) It is quite a shock when it happens and I know well the agony of waiting for appointments and the different treatments to start. The uncertainty is awful too, as in you will get a preliminary stage of the cancer prior to surgery, but you don’t know the final stage until after surgery and all the scans are done. It might help to call the Breast Cancer Now helpline if you feel your thoughts spiraling and need to talk to a breast cancer nurse. My hospital had this message machine so I never actually got to talk to anyone. I’d leave a message and a nurse might or might not call back and it was always very rushed.

Just wanted to say I am here for you @LoveWins86

I was diagnosed practically the same IDC stage 1 grade 3 on the 10th September...so 9 days after shock.

Just wanted to let you know that for me the first three days after diagnosis I was on an emotional rollercoaster. Completely normal, but it's hard so let those feelings come and go...get all the support you need.

I bought a copy of the Liz O'Riordan book, recommended by someone on here and tbh it has helped me so much.

"The complete guide to breast cancer: how to feel empowered and take control"
I bought the kindle edition as wanted to read straight away.

Breast Cancer nurse has been amazing....I've spoken to her a few times when I've had questions etc.
I just wanted to you to know I am thinking of you. It will be upsetting and hard, but you will get through this and be there for your boys. Be strong and positive. I've been told if you are positive it really helps us get through this.
Big hugs xxx

Invasive ductal and lobular, in 3 lymph nodes, mastectomy, chemo, radiotherapy, implants, infusions, daily tablets, reconstruction, revision, 3d nipple tattoos, veteran
here. It's shit, but you can and WILL get through this. I don't know if you have one nearby, but https://www.maggies.org/ is a fabulous resource.

This part of your cancer journey (I hate that phrase) is the hardest. Once they start the treatment, it can feel like being on a hamster wheel, then that can feel like a security blanket as there's always someone keeping an eye on you. If you have side effects, ask for help, there are sooooooo many medications or techniques out there. And keep posting here, we will be there when you need someone to vent to.

I second a pp about ringing up and asking for cancellations. Once the scans have been requested you can ring the hospital imaging department and confirm they have the request and ask to be put on the cancellation list.
I've done this for other urgent but none cancer referrals.

@LoveWins86
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
You will get through this 💐.

I’m so sorry. I was in this position eleven years ago. The period between being diagnosed and waiting to hear if it had spread was horrendous. My doctor warned me I’d get pains where I never had before as my body was so anxious. If it wasn’t headaches it was bone pains or coughs. Luckily it hadn’t spread (though unfortunately I found out a year ago that it was back and had spread but am doing great). It is a tough time for you. Be kind to yourself.

Thank you everyone, so so much. @Fellontheground I'm so sorry it has come back, and has spread, that is dreadful. Did you have to have a mastectomy the first time?
Sending hugs to you, too, and anyone here who has, or is going through, this awful time x

How are you doing @LoveWins86 ?

This really is such a difficult time...the waiting for the surgery. I'm convincing myself that 5 weeks from diagnosis is too long and it will spread...but I think that's me being crazy.

I've been very anxious all weekend, and haven't slept well. Trying to get on top of my thoughts.

Sending big hugs to you too. x

Hi @Maisy7 , sending you huge gentle hugs. I haven't been doing great. On Sunday afternoon I had what felt like a completely silent, internal panic attack whilst watching my family play/work around me. They were all there for me but I felt entirely detached and then couldn't function at all. In the end, the cat climbed up on me and I just sobbed into his fur with devastation. I just can't believe i have no choice but to go through all of this in my 40s. Whatever they throw at me, I have to do, to live.
And any pain I get (mine is so far at least in two lymph nodes) feels like I'm riddled with it. Today my lower back has been agony, my period started yesterday, but do I normally get extreme lower back pain? I can't even remember.
I too, feel the waiting is just horrendous, especially when you've been told it is a grade 3 cancer. It took them 5.5 weeks to diagnose me and now I have to wait at least two more for CT and bone scans, then their meetings, then appointment to discuss my options, and then they aim to start treatment within 31days of all of that?!
I don't even know if they plan to do surgery or chemo first and this new World I've been shoved into is so unwelcome. I just want to parent my kids. A simple life, supporting and loving them.
How long is it until your surgery now?
X

Hi,@LoveWins86
I'm so sorry, you've not been doing great, me neither...it's been 11 days since I found out and my surgery is in 4 weeks time.

It's normal to feel panic, anger, anxiety, etc. I feel like I've been on an emotional rollercoaster since finding out. I am still in some sort of shock, thinking this can't be happening.

One of my gf's who has been through this says the best way is to stay strong, positive and fight it every step of the way. You will do that as you have a family to look after so you will smash it!

I completely understand how every pain feels like it's connected, that's normal too...I've found the Breast Cancer Now site is really good. It has loads of information. I keep catastrophizing and over-thinking, not sleeping properly and then remind myself that I need to relax and trust the process, just got to face it. So many people get through this as it is very common. The medicines and treatments nowadays are very good.

Look after yourself, keep focusing on those boys and keep busy, until you know more...then you can process everything...if worried call your team and ask for reassurance or whatever is on your mind.

I wrote a list of questions after my diagnosis and went through them with the nurse. It helped!

I'm here for you too and big hugs x

Hey my mum had cancer and we as a family found the Maggie Centre and Macmillan a great source of support, may be worth reaching out. Love to you, stay strong x

Hi @LoveWins86 I've just come across your thread. Sorry you've joined the club. I was diagnosed with grade 3 stage 3b breast cancer in January 2024. I know it reaching your lymph nodes is terrifying. I had it in 31 out of 35 lymph nodes removed but it hasn't spread anywhere. I remember thinking every pain I had meant it had spread as well. Do you have a breast cancer nurse you can call to ask questions? That might help with the waiting. Look after yourself x

I am familiar with hard and scary times, and I would absolutely recommend talking to your doctors about anti-anxiety/anti-depressant meds. They can be life-savers. OP, how you felt on Sunday afternoon indicates to me that a conversation with your GP would be a good move. You should tell them how you felt.

Did everyone here who has had this awful thing, have a CT scan and a bone scan at the beginning? I'm starting to think they suspect I've got it everywhere and that's why they ordered them, as when she initially told me it would be cancer, before the biopsy results came in, she said they don't routinely do extra scans for early stage so I'd be getting onto treatment.
Now since my biopsy it's ordering the scans and further waiting?
I've just read that they only do that if it's above stage 3?
Honestly this is all too horrendous.

Hi LoveWins86, I don't know the answer to your question, but I see no one else has yet replied, and since you might be up worrying, I'm offering a hand-hold.

It's possible that different breast clinics have slightly different protocols.

Remember, Grade 3 breast cancers tend to be quite a bit more sensitive to chemo than lower grades. You might have a complete response to chemo! Also, I don't know if you know, but there are many chemos these days where you don't lose your hair. There are more than 35 chemos, and countless combinations, so they will find something that works for you. Immunotherapy is also a leap forward and has been available on the NHS since July 2024. While I don't know if immuno is right for you, its existence can only be a good thing. Some times immunotherapy is combined with the regular chemos as it has fewer side effects.

Did you know that some of the most-used chemos for breast cancer are platinum-based? So when you come out after infusions, you'll be more valuable than when you went in!

This is an immensely scary time for you, but you will feel better when you have a treatment plan in place. Like millions of women before you, you will come out the other side of treatment and will live many more years, I am sure.

I had the chance to talk to a breast cancer oncologist about ten years ago, at an event, and I asked him if there will ever be a cure for breast cancer. He said that we are turning breast cancer into a chronic disease, that you live with, like diabetes. And there have been many innovations since that conversation.

Hugs, OP. I can tell how shocked and frightened you are. You will come through this, like the vast, VAST majority of people do. 💐💐💐❤️‍🩹

@LoveWins86 so sorry you are worrying so much. Do give them a call as soon as you can to speak to a nurse at your hospital, or breastcancernow nurse. I'd also go to see your GP and maybe get something to help you relax/anti-anxiety whilst going through this difficult time...once you know your results and the treatment plan you will feel so much better. Also try not to google or read anything else. Big hugs x

I did because my cancer was suspected to be over a certain size threshold and a tricky one to detect.
It was clear and reassuring.
I asked them to scan my head as was getting headaches and in a spiral.

Thinking of you.

I had a CT because they found cancer in both breasts. Although both sides were small and relatively early (one node on one side involved), they got me to have a CT as a precaution. I was probably more nervous about that than anything else but it turned out fine and actually gave me a lot of peace of mind.

I didn’t have a bone scan but I live in a more remote area and I don’t think they do them routinely here.

I had both when they found mine. In the end that turned out to be a good thing as it set my mind at rest about potential spread. However, waiting for the results...😣

Could you ask your GP for some propranolol to help with the absolutely understandable anxiety? It is not addictive, can be taken alongside other medicines, and I find it helps.

Hello - I've just come across this thread, and am a month or two ahead of you (currently having chemo). I don't know exactly why they do what they do (it has all been so quick and hard to process), but can tell you I was sent for all the extra scans (CAT, MRI, enhanced mammogram, various things added to veins for them) - and they came back clear beyond breast and immediate adjacent lymph nodes. Like others I was totally convinced it had spread and that various other aches / pains / random symptoms were indications...and weirdly post-results many of them have now disappeared! Fingers crossed for you.

Dear OP, I am so sorry about your diagnosis. I know just how terrifying the stage between diagnosis and starting treatment can be. I was diagnosed with stage 2, grade 3 triple negative breast cancer on Christmas Eve 2018. My DD was 12. I had a CT chest, abdomen & pelvis (CT CAP) and a PET scan to look for spread. Fortunately there was none. They need to do the staging scans as the results can affect the kind of treatment that will be most effective.
I had chemo (brutal), a wide local excision (lumpectomy) and then radiotherapy. I have been cancer free since July 2019. Sending you love and best wishes.

And remember being brave is not about not being scared. If you are not scared you have no need for bravery. Being brave is getting up everyday, facing the world, putting one foot in front of the other. You are already amazing.

Hi OP; I know it’s so easier said than done but try not to read too much as it can sometimes be overwhelming. Only speak to your nurses and doctors.

i was stage 3 and I had to have mammograms, PET scan, full MRI, ultrasound; everything. The whole job lot. As OP have said, it’s not necessarily as they think it’s spread, it’s so they know what they are working with. They can’t go in and order you x y z medication / chemo / treatment plan without having the full picture.

I had CT scans, MRI scans heart scans the works.
Yes it's to check for spread but it's done for everyone. The MRI in particular is for images for the surgery.
In my case there was no spread but it was grade 3.
I had surgery first then chemo then radio.

So sorry you’re going through this , please take comfort that this is the worst time and once you have a clear treatment plan ahead it all feels quite a bit more manageable.
In answer to your question , I was diagnosed 9 years and 49 weeks ago (!) with grade 3 and lymph node involvement, and as far as I recall the lymph node involvement triggered the CT and bone scans as routine procedure in my trust, so it definitely doesn’t meant the assumption is it has spread.
Hang on in there a day at a time , BC treatments are effective and numerous and once you know what yours will be it’s much easier to face the challenges ahead.

I know this feeling! I found a lump and was referred to the breast clinic. I was able to go private and saw a consultant the next day. Mamogram, ultrasound and biopsy. The biopsy results took a further week so be prepared you may not know fully at your appointment. Best of luck 🤞🏼