Please hold my hand. Possible breast cancer.

[LoveWins86]

I went to the doctor 2.5weeks ago with two new lumps in my right breast, one which moves around and feels smooth and is closer to my armpit, and the other, moves still but to my touch wasn't as smooth. She said they were probably fine, and both were smooth and movable, probably fibroadenomas caused by hormones. I'm 43, and still give my 4yr old a comfort feed to sleep (not sure they get any milk tho...)
I questioned her saying I felt the main lump in the breast wasn't as smooth and she reiterated it was, but referred me to the breast clinic.
Breast clinic is running behind (their words) in their appts, leaving me panicking by yesterday, so I went for a private ultrasound.
Well the sonographer wasn't very positive, said that the main lump is suspicious but she couldn't confirm either way.
Also some axillary tissue is different or something?
I'm just spiralling. I have three kids who i don't want to leave. If it is cancer, is the smaller, smooth lump already a cancerous lymph node meaning it has spread? The lump in the breast is about 2cm already and has 'some suspicious features'. I can't find a single picture on the internet that looks like mine, not even the cancerous ones. She mentioned a possibility of it being a lactating adenoma that could have been there a while but which I didn't notice until I deliberately lost 1.5stone. It seems unlikely though, given the second smooth lump?
NHS has finally given me an appt with a consultant for mammogram, ultrasound and biopsies for next Friday and in the meantime I am imagining it spreading, and me not being treatable. It's awful.
I really need a hand hold. And I need to be here for my kids.

I’m so sorry to hear this. I also had a scare recently so I’m totally aware of the fear.

What I do know is the smooth lump doesn’t fit the suspicious category, mine was smooth too.

The stats are on your side, the vast majority (I think 9/10 by memory) aren’t cancerous.

If the worst happens and it is cancer then it’s incredibly likely you will be cured. Look up survival stats, they are very reassuring.

Despite all this I was still funeral planning and mine turned out to be totally benign. It’s a really horrible time for you, really awful, I just like you thought of my kids and leaving them which is unbearable. But it’s also very unlikely. Breast cancer is an absolute success story in medicine, it’s very treatable.

My fingers are very much crossed for you, please return with an update.

Don't panic!

I noticed lump 4 weeks ago, got diagnosed with breast cancer 2 weeks ago. Massive panic stations for me I have since learned that even if it is breast cancer your chances of survival are very good.

In terms of it spreading, I am still undergoing various tests (and I have private health insurance!) because each test I have reveals something else that needs to be looked into - total nightmare but every single person I see tells me I have time and that cancer doesn't just spread really quickly into other parts of the body over the course of a few weeks. At this stage, you are looking at undetectable microscopic particles at most which would not be picked up on any scan and chemotherapy is designed to get rid of that.

So

1. More likely than not that it is benign
2. Even if it's cancer, it will most likely be treatable
3. It won't be spreading in the way you are imagining whilst you wait

That doesn't stop it being utterly terrifying I know. But one thing I have learned is that your brain has a remarkable ability to adjust to scary things. You will get through this.

Please try not to worry.
I've had a lump that turned out to be a cyst. I also have lots of friends and family who had BC. Some had full double breast removal, some didn't.
All are healthy and well many years later.

Thank you all. So kind for replying. The sonographer put it at 4 on the 1-5 scale, ie suspicious and needs biopsy , so I don't have much hope.

Yes, but suspicious does not mean cancer.
Also breast cancer is very treatable.

Come on girl, you’ve every reason to hope.

I had to have a biopsy a few years ago and I remember that the waiting was hard both for the appointment and the results.

It all turned out ok (I have a bit of titanium now to mark where the lump was but it was generally agreed that the biopsy itself had removed it).

The worst thing you can do is dwell and google during the waits.

Try to fill time with a project. I dug a garden over, dug in horse dung and put new plants in. I set a deadline of getting it done by the day of my phone call.

Have you got a project? Kid’s room need decorating or something?

There is every chance it will be good news but as others say if not, the treatment and success rate is excellent.

Remember, we only hear bad news in the media because it reports the extraordinary not the ordinary. You being around to bounce your grandchildren on your knee in 30 years time is the most likely outcome!

Saying prayers for you now. Make sure you update us!

This is a very stressful period ( the waiting!), I was diagnosed with breast cancer in November last year, had surgery in December and radiotherapy Feb/march. I’m feeling the best I’ve felt in years, a diagnosis (I’ve learnt) does not mean you are going to die, the prognosis with the right treatment is actually very positive so try not to get too stressed. Hope Friday goes ok

How are you going LoveWins? Hopefully it was a positive outcome and you can get on with life. Well done on being aware of your body and seeking help

A cancer diagnosis is scary but not necessarily catastrophic. I found a lump almost exactly five years ago. Had a mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy and initially told is wasn’t cancer. The hospital then got a second opinion and decided it was! I had a lumpectomy and the removal of one lymph node. Luckily it hadn’t spread. I had five sessions of radiotherapy and am coming to the end of five years of Letrazole. I’ve had no issues with side effects and the surgery was so neat that you can’t even see the scar.
I really hope you get good news OP, but it isn’t necessarily catastrophic if you don’t.

Thanks for checking in @Apupandablanket . Unfortunately it was all pretty traumatic on Friday. On palpation the consultant said she wouldn't be worried about any of it, but then went to mammogram and ultrasound and the whole energy in the ultrasound room was awful. The radiographer hardly said anything and sort of harshly said, "right, we're going to need to biopsy your lump and lymph nodes" and made no effort to explain or be gentle with her bedside manner. They took a ton of samples (and obviously I knew it was bad news), then I went for another mammogram (this time in pain from the biopsies and feeling very alone with my thoughts) and then back to the original consultant. She directly but kindly told me they were expecting a cancer result that has reached two lymph nodes.
Now I have to wait another potential 2weeks before I know what I'm dealing with and then another 2 weeks before any treatment can start.
And I'm just reeling, thinking it is spreading everywhere, it has already been a whole month since I went to the doctor and nothing has actually been done.
I'm sad and I feel alone, and I cannot stop thinking about my poor kids x

Hey @LoveWins86, sorry your experience was so traumatic.

I am a 46yo single mother and was diagnosed just over a month ago after I went to the doctor with a swollen lymph node in my armpit and a biopsy confirmed it was breast cancer. I had to go through more investigations to find the cancer in the breast, and they found cancer in my other breast at the same time.

Despite all of this, the cancer I have is very treatable and I have an excellent prognosis. There are a huge range of treatments available, with newer drugs coming in all the time. Survival rates are improving year on year and even people with advanced (stage 4) cancer at diagnosis are often living for ten years or more with treatment.

The first few weeks were incredibly hard as there was a lot of uncertainty. I had three rounds of biopsies. an MRI and a staging CT so there was a lot of anxious waits for results. It feels scary waiting so long for treatment but many breast cancers are actually slow growing (years rather than months) and even the more aggressive forms do not grow that rapidly. Once they have the biopsy results, they can decide on the right treatment for the type that you have.

Four weeks down the line I am now in a much more positive place, have started hormone treatment and will be having surgery in a few weeks. There’s no reason to think I won’t be around long after my son is an adult himself. Everyone says the first few weeks after diagnosis are the hardest and so far I wouldn’t disagree.

I just want you to know that it does get better and it is not the death sentence we all think of when we first get diagnosed. I would recommend “The Complete Guide to Breast Cancer” by Prof Trish Greenhalgh and Dr Liz O’Riordan. It has loads of useful practical information and is great to dip into as needed when you want to understand more about histology results, treatment, emotional aspects etc.

Take care of yourself and don’t be afraid to ask for help. I hope you have people you can talk to xx

Hi OP

The waiting is the absolute worst. Once you have a plan in place it is mentally much easier. I was in a similar position to you 3 years ago. Someone posted me a link to the cancer support thread, it’s on thread 98 now; it’s very supportive.
Here’s the link incase you’d like it.
www.mumsnet.com/talk/cancer/5476592-cancer-support-thread-98-support-for-those-diagnosed-and-going-through-treatment

Hi OP, I wish I found your post the other day. I am in the almost exact situation, a few years younger. Went into the appointment last week with my lump with everyone very chill that it’s likely a cyst or whatever, and in seconds during the ultrasound it all changed and no reassurance given. “50/50 cancer” was what I was told, terrible bedside manner from most of the staff. So I’m here if you need company during your wait too.

I’m sorry to hear your update @LoveWins86I was diagnosed in 2018 and you won’t believe it now but this is very much the worst bit. The not knowing, what your diagnosis is, what the treatment plan will be, what to tell your friends and family.
You should have access to a breast cancer nurse, so use them if you feel you can to ask any questions while you’re waiting to find out what your treatment plan will be.
We choose to tell the DCs who were 4 and 7 at the time after we knew what my plan was chemo, then mastectomy, I was factual and they were ok. We were very lucky to have lots of friends around who stepped in when we needed them to with the kids and we tried not to let it affect their lives too much.
I think it’s already been mentioned, but there is a cancer group on here which I got so much support from while going through treatment.

I'm so sorry the appointment and tests weren't a mere formality. The waiting for more information must be agony. Here's a hand hold - we're all here, supporting you through this very scary time 💓

Hi @LoveWins86 I was diagnosed 18 years ago with a small tumour that had spread into at least two lymph nodes. I think I had 28-30 lymph nodes removed. Breast Cancer Now have a helpline that was so helpful when I was diagnosed. It does feel as though it’s spreading everywhere during the wait but it’s not. Wishing you well 💐

So sorry it was bad news. As others have said, this is the worse part, the waiting while not knowing. I know it's hard to believe, but it genuinely does get easier once you know exactly what it is and the plan to deal with it.

Hi @biops im so sorry you're in this wait too. I'm so hopeful your 50/50 is benign! My doctor was more like 99% so im just waiting for the plan I guess, but it's horrifying, this new life

Please try very hard not to worry until you have the facts after next Friday.

Breast cancer is highly treatable and five-year survival is higher than other types of cancer. Your breast isn’t necessary for your survival, unlike your your lungs, bowel etc.

Odds are you will be fine but save the worry for once you know there is a problem. You’ve caught this early which is really important.

I was diagnosed in July and am having my second round of chemo tomorrow.
it really does get better once you have a plan and treatment starts
also an excellent prognosis here - I know it’s hard but try not to worry too much.

I’m sorry I appreciate I said “exact same”, I just meant from having reassurances to suddenly the reassurances were gone after the ultrasound, I’m so sorry how certain it is for you. The technician said 50/50 (I don’t think it was a scientific figure!) the consultant seemed less optimistic and said he couldn’t give me reassurances we need to see the results, but I suppose that means there is still a chance it’s benign if he wouldn’t be committed without that, I definitely felt they thought the image looked malignant though.

I so regret not asking more questions, I was just so shocked at how the appointment turned.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It just feels weird we all have to carry on like life is normal in the meantime. I just want to scream “everyone wait, stop, I’ve got this thing happening can’t you see?!”

Sorry @LoveWins86 . I was hoping it would all be resolved for you by now. I can not help much. I wish I could. I was on three “pathways” and all were ok. I remember trying to read the faces and voices of the medics for any little hint of news but of course, they don’t know until they know. Mumsnet can be a funny old place but I do know there’s lots of wise women here that will keep you going. Lots of love xx

Oh @biops I knew exactly what you meant about being in the same position, and I am just so hopeful for you. Please do keep me updated and I will be on this thread if you need.
I know what you mean about wanting to scream to everyone. I feel like I'm walking around in a fog, and even my neck glands feel like they're up now which is making me panic more. I know that can be a stress reaction too, but right now I feel like everything is getting worse because no one is doing anything.
Hugs xx

I'm also surprised at how much the biopsy took out of me, energy wise. Why would that be? I'm just so exhausted and my boob still hurts?! Is that normal or am I pathetic?

It’s a wound healing, it will hurt for a while. The exhaustion is shock and anxiety. You’re not pathetic at all.