Please hold my hand. Possible breast cancer.

[LoveWins86]

I went to the doctor 2.5weeks ago with two new lumps in my right breast, one which moves around and feels smooth and is closer to my armpit, and the other, moves still but to my touch wasn't as smooth. She said they were probably fine, and both were smooth and movable, probably fibroadenomas caused by hormones. I'm 43, and still give my 4yr old a comfort feed to sleep (not sure they get any milk tho...)
I questioned her saying I felt the main lump in the breast wasn't as smooth and she reiterated it was, but referred me to the breast clinic.
Breast clinic is running behind (their words) in their appts, leaving me panicking by yesterday, so I went for a private ultrasound.
Well the sonographer wasn't very positive, said that the main lump is suspicious but she couldn't confirm either way.
Also some axillary tissue is different or something?
I'm just spiralling. I have three kids who i don't want to leave. If it is cancer, is the smaller, smooth lump already a cancerous lymph node meaning it has spread? The lump in the breast is about 2cm already and has 'some suspicious features'. I can't find a single picture on the internet that looks like mine, not even the cancerous ones. She mentioned a possibility of it being a lactating adenoma that could have been there a while but which I didn't notice until I deliberately lost 1.5stone. It seems unlikely though, given the second smooth lump?
NHS has finally given me an appt with a consultant for mammogram, ultrasound and biopsies for next Friday and in the meantime I am imagining it spreading, and me not being treatable. It's awful.
I really need a hand hold. And I need to be here for my kids.

Just sending positive thoughts @LoveWins86 x

Wishing you all the best for today @LoveWins86
We are here thinking of you.

I had a similar experience to @KentishMama. Just didn’t need the chemotherapy. I had a lumpectomy in December last year and radiotherapy (20 sessions) through February. I am now on tamoxifen for the next 5 years.
I actually feel really well all things considered. I realised that this doesn’t mean a “death sentence”. I wish you well OP and hope that you are able to have a similar positive experience

All the best OP.

@LoveWins86 hey girl, how’s things ? 🙏

So much information today.
And im just so sad for my kids. Those three guys need their mama.
It's Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, grade 3. Oestrogen sensitive, Ki67 just above 60%, HER2 negative and axillary lymph node positive for cancer.
I'll need a CT scan and bone scan to check for spread. Apparently there was extensive calcification throughout the breast as well as the lump and lymph nodes so likely looking at mastectomy amongst all the other treatments.
Then I'll get staging, but I feel like it will have spread, I just do. NY chest is constantly tight, I'm always clearing my throat, I have had lower back pain on and off for years etc.
I just can't leave these kids without their mama.

Oh @LoveWins86I am so very sorry. I can’t even begin to imagine how you start to process that. When you’re ready can I recommend Liz O’Riodan, I’ve seen others mention her and have watched some of her videos and she has a book The Complete Guide to Breast Cancer. But for another day, today cry, hug, whatever gets you through the moment.

Oh am so sorry was also thinking of you today. I don’t know what I could possibly say to you that would help. It’s so unfair and I’m rooting for you x

So sorry, to hear this. Thinking of you and your family.

I'm sorry you had this news. I'm just coming out the other end.

Two of the worst bits of my treatment were first biopsy and the waiting.. oh and being told, as in my case they were 99% sure it wasn't cancer!
Treatments are very good and you will get very good care.

I also have young kids, I didnt rush to tell them as it was difficult for sure. I had a treatment plan before I did and told both schools. Feel free to ask anything you want about it all. Hopefully you have a breastcare nurse.

Thinking of you OP and sending love ❤️

So sorry to hear this. I’m on the other side of operations and chemo, now long longer-term management.

Once you have a plan, things are more manageable. I told my kids once we knew what we were looking at re the treatment.

Do you have a local Maggie’s Centre? They provide all sorts of support for people with cancer and their families.

Don't tell your children too soon, get your treatment plan first. You can then tell your children about the positives as well as any operation(s) you are going to need. Don't drip feed all the negatives though, just intersperse them with any upsides.

Wishing you and your DH and DCs, all the best for your treatments and scans. Accept all the help offered by friends, family and organisations alongside NHS.

Sorry to hear this @LoveWins86, thinking of you xx

I'm sorry to hear the news and really there's nothing anyone can say to make it better. Your body does react to stress and some of your symptoms could easily be due to the awful stress you've been under.
I recommend you wait to tell the children until you know exactly what the treatment plan is. You don't say how old they are but it sounds like they are little.
There are helplines on Breast Cancer Now.
Do you have anyone irl to confide in?

@LoveWins86 I was in the exact same position as you in Nov last year, told I had BC. I was hysterical, I have two little ones, had to immediately stop breast feeding my baby as I had to have all sorts of scans, pet, mri, etc and some were radioactive.

As OP have said; the wait is the worst part. I had extreme pains in my chest for 6 months and even prior to treatment; my breast care nurse told me to go to A&E and they thought I was having a heart attack at one point. I wasn’t, it was just the extreme stress my body was under.

I am now; almost, 12 months later out of the other side. I’ve had chemo, a double masc, radiation, finishing chemo. I would also like to add, having gone through an absolutely gruelling treatment regime I got told I was told I got total response to treatment, no cancer visible on any scans. So please, please don’t dispair just yet.

My thoughts are with you.

And I was grade 3 and spread to lymph nodes. So sending positive thoughts.

Oh @Bangersndmash I am so so sorry you have gone through all of this, and I cannot thank you enough for telling me all of this. The grade 3 has really got to me, because it has been 4.5 long weeks of waiting for the hospital to do anything to get to this point, and I feel the waiting has caused so much damage mentally and possibly physically.
Now they are saying a further 2 weeks or more for the CT and bone scans before then another week or more for their MDT meeting, THEN they aim to start treatment within 31 days of the FINAL diagnosis and staging.
How can it be ok to allow a grade 3 cancer to grow for that number of weeks? I feel i don't stand a chance like this.
They were hinting strongly at needing a mastectomy. Any info from anyone about that would be hugely helpful to me. I am a knowledge seeker.
I just want them to move faster. It's breaking my heart thinking about my kids. Two teenagers and a 4yr old. X

i am not an over sharer, I haven’t told many people of my diagnosis IRL. But I share on these boards as I was here a year ago and to hear a story much like mine, might hopefully help you too.

I completely understand, the waiting was the worst part, when I finally got my chemo date I was EXCITED. That’s the word i used, excited to pump toxic drugs round my body as I felt I was doing something, getting rid of it. They have to unfortunately wait to get a full picture and then how to attack. One thing I did do was be quite pushy and ring up and say let me know if you have any cancellations etc and my scans came through quite quickly, it was then waiting for the MTD meetings that took time.

i am almost fully healed from my double mastectomy. I chose to have this as I have a 75% risk of it returning so I wanted to remove that. I’ve had a double masctomy with reconstruction and the recovery has been very long but the results were really pleasing, they look like real breasts. My only downside now is that the radiation has changed them. Happy to answer any questions.

I’m so sorry you have a breast cancer diagnosis @LoveWins86. I empathise with the way that you are feeling right now and even though I’m still in the thick of treatment (currently having l chemo) I can honestly this waiting/not having all of the info part you are in now is just the most awful.

They thought mine was stage 1, grade 2 initially (but couldn’t be sure exactly about what was going due to indeterminate areas and 2 tumours).
I had a mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. After surgery I was stage 3, grade 3 (large tumour with with lymph node involvement).

All summer I have been coughing, my hip
was hurting. After this diagnosis I was CONVINCED staging scans would reveal stage 4 spread. I was thank God proven wrong. It’s unbelievable what our minds tell us is true when we are under such huge stress.
I obviously have a tough and long treatment journey ahead of me now, but those earlier weeks were like hell compared to how I feel right now.

You will get through this, there is so much support out there. Feel all your feelings, give yourself time for those.
fwiw I had major surgery 9 weeks ago and recovered really well. Ask away if needed.
x

@LoveWins86 Hi LoveWins, I am very sorry to hear that you're going through this. I just wanted to let you know that there's a silver lining. Grade 3 tumours are quite a bit more likely to respond to chemo, if you have chemo, than Grades 1 and 2. I'm not sure which source is best to cite for this, but you can confirm it with your doctor. Probably best to stay away from Google because all the stats are, by necessity, old. They don't reflect what's going on right here and now in the clinics, as studies are long and results are reported after the fact.

Sending hugs. xxxx

OP, not the news you or we were waiting for but as from now you’re on a journey of recovery. Everyone says once the medics get all the data they don’t muck around and you’ll be off on your treatment road. Other posters have said this but every ache, pain or tiredness is going to seem significant right now but in all likelihood it is the result of stress. There’s lots of wise women on here who will help you make sense of things as time goes on. Lots of love to you and yours x

I love that way of looking at it. “As of now you’re on your road to recovery”. What a positive message, really lovely.

Also, OP, whatever treatment you get will surely be scary, but a comforting line on a prescription of mine has always stayed with me: "Your doctor has prescribed this treatment because they have judged that the benefit to you is greater than the risk of side effects."