Please hold my hand. Possible breast cancer.

[LoveWins86]

I went to the doctor 2.5weeks ago with two new lumps in my right breast, one which moves around and feels smooth and is closer to my armpit, and the other, moves still but to my touch wasn't as smooth. She said they were probably fine, and both were smooth and movable, probably fibroadenomas caused by hormones. I'm 43, and still give my 4yr old a comfort feed to sleep (not sure they get any milk tho...)
I questioned her saying I felt the main lump in the breast wasn't as smooth and she reiterated it was, but referred me to the breast clinic.
Breast clinic is running behind (their words) in their appts, leaving me panicking by yesterday, so I went for a private ultrasound.
Well the sonographer wasn't very positive, said that the main lump is suspicious but she couldn't confirm either way.
Also some axillary tissue is different or something?
I'm just spiralling. I have three kids who i don't want to leave. If it is cancer, is the smaller, smooth lump already a cancerous lymph node meaning it has spread? The lump in the breast is about 2cm already and has 'some suspicious features'. I can't find a single picture on the internet that looks like mine, not even the cancerous ones. She mentioned a possibility of it being a lactating adenoma that could have been there a while but which I didn't notice until I deliberately lost 1.5stone. It seems unlikely though, given the second smooth lump?
NHS has finally given me an appt with a consultant for mammogram, ultrasound and biopsies for next Friday and in the meantime I am imagining it spreading, and me not being treatable. It's awful.
I really need a hand hold. And I need to be here for my kids.

I highly suspect the tiredness is the weight of this situation, I’ve never had something play on my mind so much, it is unrelenting, every few seconds it’s just popping in my head.

As for pain, mine was a week ago and I have some aching in the breast still (but I was already getting pain, something I hadn’t got checked out ) so it’s hard to know what’s biopsy and what’s my normal.

But I did read on here a few people experienced pain for a while after a biopsy.

Definitely not pathetic.

Did they say when you will get your results @biops ?

@LoveWins862-3 weeks, I’m one week down. They provisionally booked an apt ages away but the receptionist basically told me to disregard that and expect a call with a closer date. Do you know when you’ll likely hear?

That's a terrible wait 😔
My consultant said they wanted to rush the results through so would be putting it in as urgent or something, but to still expect 7-10 days. She wanted to do the follow up this Friday (I had the biopsies Friday 11th) but said it was unlikely they would have had the results and the meetings by then, so to expect the following week as more likely. It's just an unbearable wait isn't it

I'm in the same boat so hand holding - had biopsies on the 11th, had an examination (told it was probably aging tissue) then a mammogram (nothing to see here) then an ultrasound (ooh might be a cyst) then a needle aspiration (that's not a cyst) then 2 biopsies and the bit of metal put in then another mammogram - each test seemed to go from normal to 'that's not right' - told results should be by the 25th - like you I'm exhausted and very sore still
Trying to keep myself busy and also playing it down for family as I don't want to worry my kids - the wait is unbearable

It’s just not the side of it that you hear about is it? Watching films, reading headlines, I just hadn’t considered (blissfully ignorantly) what happens in the build up to getting a diagnosis. I never considered it would take weeks or what that time would feel like, from finding a lump to understanding what’s going on, and then you need to know what kind of cancer, treatment plan.

I see old people in the street and think, will I get to that age? My son mentioned Christmas the other day and I thought, what will be happening then? I’ve just booked a meeting in with a colleague for next month and I was wondering if I’d be available. It’s just a horrible, unsettling feeling.

Yes, all of this! I keep thinking what a brilliant time we usually have at Halloween, how we treat the kids to an enchanted lights outing at Christmas each year, etc etc, and now.... what on earth will be happening to us all by then? These kids need me, they are the best thing in the whole World, and now I can't protect them from something happening inside me. 😭

Hi all,
I just got a call from the hospital calling me in for this Friday. Whilst I'm glad to be seen as early as they can (they did tell me they would try to rush the results through), I'm also terrified that it's even worse than they originally thought and so they need to talk to me even sooner.
Yesterday was a rough day of spiralling for me, and looks like today I will be even worse.

My friend had a similar experience in February, was treated as an emergency when she reported it. Then had treatment and the lump has almost gone. Fingers crossed for you.

The way the system works is that they have to get the biopsy and/or scan results back, then they will discuss your case at the Breast MDT (multi-disciplinary team) meeting. This is a weekly meeting where breast surgeons, radiologists, oncologists and pathologists all get together to discuss your results and agree the next steps.

The fact that they have called you in on Friday is good news as it means your results were available in time for this week’s MDT. If they hadn’t been then you’d have had to wait another week for the next meeting. It doesn’t mean they’re worse than they thought, just that pathology got them processed quickly xx

Sending lots of love and support OP, 2 nights to get through to get some answers. I’m thinking of you.

@Restlessdreams1994 thank you that’s useful. AI tells me my hospital does the meetings on Wednesdays (could show me the source) so I’m hoping mine may have been reviewed today (biopsy done last Tuesday) I wonder how likely that is and how long it’ll take them to call.

It's very hard on you and DH. I found the biopsies the very worst part. So many unknowns but all will be told to you on Friday. It's only 2 sleeps(!) away. I've had BC twice in the same one, both different. 19 years since first, 4 since second (mastectomy). Be very kind to yourself: Face pack, hand manicure, foot massage just to help yourself mentally.

Take a note book and get DH to write everything down. You won't remember everything if treatment is needed.

I’m a hospital doctor and ours are on Wednesdays. I’ve been discussed most weeks recently due to being a complex case. It’s a very weird feeling sitting at home on Wednesday mornings knowing I’m being talked about by a lot of doctors in a meeting!

My biopsies were done on Thursdays and they usually had at least a partial result in time for the Wednesday meeting so fingers crossed you’ll have been discussed this week and will hopefully get an appointment through very soon. There are strict targets for cancer/suspected cancer cases so they usually work hard to get you discussed and seen asap.

Have you been given contact details for your local breast care nurses? They will often be able to check if you’ve got an appointment coming up.

Be prepared for short notice appointments for clinics, scans, biopsies etc. in the first few weeks as they work out exactly what’s going on. It can feel quite overwhelming but it does settle down once they have all the information and start planning treatment.

@biops sorry, I just read back through the thread and see you have a 50/50 chance yours is benign. I hope it all turns out ok and you don’t need any of the above xx

Sorry to all of you going through this. I was diagnosed in 2019 and tbh don't give it much thought now but I do pop on threads like this sometimes.
As others have said this is the very worst part. Hard to believe you actually feel better once it's definite but it's true. You will have information and a plan. You will forget a lot of what is said in the appointment, that's why you need someone else there. There's also likely to be a breast care nurse present. When this happened to me the BCN rang me the next day to go over it again and answer questions.
What follows is lots and lots of scans and tests. The speed at which the NHS.s can work is impressive ( and I speak now as someone on a waiting list of a year just to be seen).
The biopsies do hurt and the breast will hurt for a while afterwards so don't read too much into that.

@Restlessdreams1994 thank you, it’s helpful to know, my husband works away in the week and he’s on standby to come straight home as and when I get the call. I can imagine it’s a very strange feeling, I hope you have a treatment plan soon.

This.
As soon as they have all the info they tend to get going. Your treatment plan will have been discussed at the MDT so your appointment on Friday will be to discuss how they are planning to treat it. You get used to the stop/start of breast cancer journey.

Once you have your plan then you can get busy filling the time up until treatment starts. It’s easy to collapse in a heap but life goes on. The hardest part of cancer diagnosis is telling everyone. I chose to use social media in a closed group/need to know basis. I didn’t want the whole world contacting me with sympathy or empty offers of help. A quick Facebook post allowed them to post what they wanted and I didn’t have to engage. I also asked them to be kind to my DH and DS and not cross examine them whenever they saw them. DS was only 16/17 and the last thing he wanted to discuss was his mums boobs.

I was lucky ( or rather unlucky) that my DSis had been through it all when she was 32. The fact she was still with us and cancer free at 52 gave me the hope I needed. She shared a lot of stuff she had not shared when she was going through treatment and it was somewhat cathartic for both of us. It can be difficult to talk to others who haven’t had cancer, a kindred spirit allows you to open up and ask daft questions. They don’t gasp in horror when you tell them that you’ve planned not being here, they get the pessimism that non-cancer people don’t. They also don’t talk about fighting, positivity and being a warrior. I still silently cringe when people talk about bravery associated with cancer treatment. Bravery is a choice, cancer treatment isn’t a choice and you can be as frightened as you want.

However, it’s ok to have hope and as you advance through treatment you start to breath again. You sometimes have to join in with your cheer leaders and act all happy and positive. But it’s ok to have a good sob on low days.

Treatment seems to take forever and then it’s over. You then enter an abyss or holding pen where regular/yearly monitoring keeps you ticking over. If you are really lucky you get to take hormone blockers and AIs. They are a bit of a security blanket, you keep everything crossed until you receive an email from your breast cancer care team to say that you’ve completed treatment and can stop all drugs.

I received my email last week. I’m now 5yrs post cancer diagnosis. I’ve done my time and I have officially joined the 5yr survival gang. I can’t say it’s a relief because you do frequently look over your shoulder, periodically check the current stats, read up on new treatments that may extend your life if it comes back and quietly pray that somewhere, someone has discovered the cure.

I wish you all the luck that I have had fighting this bastard disease. As my dear late sister said to me “what will be will be”. Sadly after surviving 20yrs post breast cancer we lost her to totally unrelated pancreatic cancer, but without the incredible skill of her original breast cancer team we wouldn’t have had those wonderful 20 years.

This is good news: You have a consultant who is on the ball and who already advocates for you. That's half the battle right there, and really important.

For Friday: Write down your questions beforehand, take someone along to the appointment, and make sure they know that it's their job to ask every single question from your list. Your head will probably be spinning, so whoever comes with you needs a cool head and the ability to stay seated until every question has been answered, even if the consultant tries to usher you out of the room.

I've been there - six years ago. With five affected lymph nodes. There's not much you can do, other than ask all the questions, turn up to all the appointments, and embrace every additional test as extra data. Knowledge is power.

Best of luck for your appointment!

Thanks all. This week has just been dreadful, and I've been a pretty useless mama too, so the guilt is awful.
@KentishMama how are you now? Sorry to hear you've been through it too, but so grateful to you for writing here. If it's not too much for you, would you mind saying what your treatment was? If not, obviously ZERO worries. It is all so personal.

@Crwysmam I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. And I'm so sorry you have so recently gone through this too. Thank you for writing all this. X

@biops have you heard anything yet? I looked up when my hospital has their MDT meetings and it is on a Tuesday morning. I had been called before 9.30am, so I am hoping you have also heard so you're not in this waiting zone much longer.
Of course I'm slightly different in that my appointment will be talking about treatment/further testing, rather than 'breaking the news' as they already did that last Friday.
I am still so hopeful for you x

@mumofmanydaughterofone how are you doing? I hope the wait isn't being too tough on you. Here's a handhold for you, too, should you need it x

Hey!

No problem at all - I had a strongly ER PR positive, HER2 negative ductal carcinoma that was Grade 2. This is the most common type. Very small 12 mm tumour, but already 5 impacted lymph nodes and lymphovascular invasion. So that made it a "high risk of recurrence" type diagnosis. I had a lumpectomy and partial axillary clearance (that means an operation to remove lymph nodes), followed by chemotherapy (4 rounds of EC every 2 weeks, then 4 rounds of Paclitaxel every 2 weeks). Then 3 weeks of radiotherapy. That was "active treatment". Then came hormone therapy. Initially Zoladex (I was pre-menopausal, so that's a drug that shuts down your ovaries and puts you into menopause) plus Exemestane (an aromatase inhibitor). I had a lot of side effects from the latter, so after 3 years, I gave up and changed to Zoladex + Tamoxifen, which I tolerate much better. I also had some bone strengthening medication for a few years to prevent osteoporosis - going straight into menopause at a young-ish age increases that risk quite a bit.

Note that the treatment protocols have changed and improved since my diagnosis - if I was diagnosed now, I'd probably get slightly different medication to reduce recurrence risk.

I'm 6 years out from diagnosis. I have annual mammograms, and also see my oncologist annually. (In the meantime, I had another rare cancer, but let's ignore that because it's irrelevant here...)

How I am: Brilliant. I was in quite a state for the first 3 years or so, and then snapped out of it and just lived my life. I'm happier than I was pre-cancer, healthier in many ways, probably more sarcastic/cynical about some stuff... But I'm well. So hopefully that will tell you that even if you have to deal with all that treatment crap - you can come out of it and enjoy life afterwards!

Best of luck.

@LoveWins86 thinking of you especially today OP, I’ve been thinking about you all week.