Please hold my hand. Possible breast cancer.

[LoveWins86]

I went to the doctor 2.5weeks ago with two new lumps in my right breast, one which moves around and feels smooth and is closer to my armpit, and the other, moves still but to my touch wasn't as smooth. She said they were probably fine, and both were smooth and movable, probably fibroadenomas caused by hormones. I'm 43, and still give my 4yr old a comfort feed to sleep (not sure they get any milk tho...)
I questioned her saying I felt the main lump in the breast wasn't as smooth and she reiterated it was, but referred me to the breast clinic.
Breast clinic is running behind (their words) in their appts, leaving me panicking by yesterday, so I went for a private ultrasound.
Well the sonographer wasn't very positive, said that the main lump is suspicious but she couldn't confirm either way.
Also some axillary tissue is different or something?
I'm just spiralling. I have three kids who i don't want to leave. If it is cancer, is the smaller, smooth lump already a cancerous lymph node meaning it has spread? The lump in the breast is about 2cm already and has 'some suspicious features'. I can't find a single picture on the internet that looks like mine, not even the cancerous ones. She mentioned a possibility of it being a lactating adenoma that could have been there a while but which I didn't notice until I deliberately lost 1.5stone. It seems unlikely though, given the second smooth lump?
NHS has finally given me an appt with a consultant for mammogram, ultrasound and biopsies for next Friday and in the meantime I am imagining it spreading, and me not being treatable. It's awful.
I really need a hand hold. And I need to be here for my kids.

Well done OP, and keep in mind that 2b is still considered early stage so your chances are extremely good. Don’t feel bad about your reaction, I was rocking back and forth moaning and wailing 😩. The nurse said they get that more often than not.

Hi @LoveWins86
Thank you for up-dating us...been wondering how you were doing.
So you now know what you are dealing with and you can and will fight this and the prognosis is really good for you.
Wonderful news that clear from spread.
Be full of hope and positivity, believe you will get to see your babies grow up. (It will help you through).
Sending a big hug xx

Hi OP I’m so pleased you’ve got your answers and can finally get the wheels in motion. All the best.

Hi, I haven’t replied to your post yet as I must confess it was also giving me anxiety!! I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2024 and I went through exactly the same as you have, I was also as worried and anxious - you aren’t alone 🩷 I was given the same kind of news, I had chemo, surgery, radiotherapy and more chemo after that. I just wanted to say that it was very very hard but it was also a period of my life that was beautiful, gave me so much back and really reset my perspectives on everything. I’m a different person now and have grown so much. I also had the all clear, so all that hard time was worth it! I am 100% positive that you will be same, grit your teeth for your kids, get through one day at a time and it will be over before you know it. Sending you lots of love and best wishes x

Hi @sandybeaches74 - as someone who might well be looking at a similar path (on first chemo now) very interested to hear about the positives from your point of view, if you'd be willing to say more?

I've just come across this thread, and was reading your updates with tears threatening to spill over. This is SUCH a positive update considering the circumstances, what a terrible few weeks you've had...but you have light at the end of the tunnel! Wishing you all the best throughout all to come.

Great to hear your update @LoveWins86 .
One thing I learned woI had breast cancer is that not only are there many variations of breast cancer but treatment varies and how people react differs. In other words there's no "right" way to behave. You'll find some people really surprise you by stepping up, others will disappoint you. Some will say the wrong thing.
In my case the surgery was first, then chemo, then radiotherapy. The chemotherapy was the hardest bit but having it first means you're going into it fit and well and it will soon be over.
Good luck

Great to hear, @LoveWins86! And you should have more than a dollop of hope, because Grade 3s are especially vulnerable to chemo. Hope you can start as soon as poss. Back in 1998, my mum had a large tumour but they didn't give her chemo at the time, only surgery, radiotherapy, and 5 years of tamoxifen. For the size tumour, she should have had chemo, I found out years later. Anyway, so it came back a couple of years after she stopped the tamoxifen. (She had a dose of chemo then, but it was far too late.) The moral of the story is: There's only one thing worse than having chemo, and that's not having chemo.

A comforting line of one of my prescriptions is, "Your doctor has prescribed this medicine because they have judged that the benefit to you is greater than the risk of side effects."

I know many people who said that chemo, while not easy, was doable.

This too shall pass!

Sending you hugs xxx 💐💐💐

Hi OP, I’ve been quiet because I was hopeful mine was benign due to not having my appointment brought forward after MDT and didn’t want to speak up during your initial news although I’m hugely relieved for you it’s not as bad as it looked, alas I am here also but with triple negative cancer at 38, so I’m getting chemo too and before surgery. So although we have different cancers I’m here if you want a chemo buddy to chat.

Oh @biops I am devastated for you. I hoped so much that you would get the opposite news. I'm so so sorry.
What is your plan? Do you have any more scans to go? Sending the biggest love and hugs xxx

@LoveWins86 thank you. So all I found out today was it’s triple negative thus grade 3. Chemo then surgery and I need to have genetic testing done which will determine whether I need lumpectomy or something more drastic for preventative reasons, I won’t know for a couple of months. In the meantime it’s an MRI on my chest next week, the good news is the tumor is small and lymph nodes looked fine so although it’s an aggressive cancer it should hopefully be a low stage, they didn’t seem very concerned about spread, my MRI is only on my chest. I should know more after the MRI and the meeting with the oncologist in 2-3 weeks.

Sending you hugs, biops. TNBC is also highly sensitive to chemotherapy, and it also has a lower chance of coming back years later. Hoping you have a complete pathological response to the chemo! 💐 This too shall pass.

To anyone dealing with breast cancer, my colleague had it in her early forties. Large tumour, neoadjuvant chemo to shrink it. She had six months off work because the chemo made her so tired, and I know it took her another six months at least to get her energy back. She did have a complete pathological response, which meant that the tumour shrunk to nothing, so she only had to have a small lumpectomy to take out the part where it had shrunk to, just in case. I remember how tired she was.

Well, that was six years ago, and she appears to have got her energy back, because she just went on a REALLY hard week's hike in Zion park, somewhere in America. For much of it, she was wading through water - tiring!

There is life beyond breast cancer.

I've been to the oncologist now. Chemo will begin in 2 weeks. EC-T chemo. Does anyone have experience of it, and can tell me what to expect in terms of how it feels when you go for the infusion itself, how many days until you feel terrible, how many days you feel terrible for, what those symptoms were etc?
I believe it varies enormously. Can anyone advise anything i can do to make it 'better' for myself?
The nurse asked if I wanted to try the cold cap, and I've said yes if possible, to give it a go. How painful is it? I know I'm probably likely to lose my hair anyway.
Gosh, this disease takes a lot from us, doesn't it. And it hasn't even got started yet.

I’ll answer all your questions tomorrow. It’s 100% doable. I did the same in 2023 x

I had the cold cap for 6m and retained all my hair, I had long black hair down past my bum. This was with the weekly pacli. When I changed to EC it did an absolute number on me and I really struggled with those chemo meds, and all my hair started falling out in clumps. I found it more stressful and upsetting findining clumps daily so I just bit the bullet and took it off. It was really upsetting but I’ve never ever had short hair and I’m really enjoying it starting to grow back and will embrace all the styles I can! I finished chemo on June and it’s started growing in Aug really. I am now starting the remainder of my treatment next week.

TNBC - chemo weekly for approx 3-4 m, then EC X1 a month, surgery, radio, and now immunotherapy. It’s not easy at all and I have two very little ones and I had to stop breast feeding, they had to remove my breasts and also I was radiatioavtive.

I would say the cold cap really does get easier and take a hot water bottle if u can and definitely an extra blanket. Good luck

Just came across this thread and thinking of you as you start chemo today. Hope it goes well. I didn’t cold cap but I think it’s worth a try. Everyone responds differently, my main advice would be to seek help early if you have any problems. Eg you will be given anti nausea medication but if you’re still really nauseous and sick contact your helpline to tell someone and they can change your medication.

@Bangersndmash can I ask what your grade and staging was? Have you responded well? I have TNBC, devastated by how gruelling the treatment plan has to be given it doesn’t respond to hormonal ones 💔 I’m sorry you had to go through it with little ones.

OP I am planning on cold capping, although (as bangers has said) I don’t think it’ll work for all my treatment, I don’t know all the name yet but I gather I might be ok for the one I have weekly, but the one I’m likely to get after that one sounds like cold capping wont do much, but I’ve heard it can still help hair follicles recover faster? Must hurt on a bald head though!

Im going to get my hair dyed to my natural colour this month so it can grow out and not look too bad while I still have it. I’m nervous about that as I’ve been blonde 10+ years, I’m hoping it’ll gradual help my AuADHD son get used to me looking different. He cried when I had my hair cut short a few years ago.

@Bangersndmashsorry just seen you had grade 3 and a full response. That’s wonderful, I hope to be saying the same in a year. Can I ask why you had a double masc? Did you show positive on the generic testing?

Hi @biops I think I saw it was you who recently put a post up on TNBC too I have been meaning to respond to it as I’ve been through it and continuing to go through it but I wanted to be in depth as I could to help you, as I found other experiences helped me.

I have had a total full response, no cancer found post chemo. I will give you full run down of it all and any other questions you have bear with me. You’re not alone! Still not finished treatment but very slowly getting there (I am currently in A&E post radiation complications but hey ho, can’t have it all).

Sorry to hear your news @biops, I was really hoping yours would be benign. I have heard some amazing stories about people with TNBC getting a fantastic response to chemo so fingers crossed for you.

I was advised to have my eyebrows micro-bladed before chemo as this helps keep your facial appearance as normal as possible. It was expensive but my natural brows were really thin and it looks amazing. I’m really pleased with the result and it was great to have something to feel positive about in the middle of all the cancer bad news. My hair is really fine at the best of times but I’m hoping the eyebrows will help make it less scary for my son if I do lose my hair.

I had ect, then weekly paclitaxel. The cold cap didn't work for me, but I'm glad I tried. It was uncomfortable but bloody cold! I would take a blanket, or a microwavable teddy/wheatbag. They will have a microwave, as they often need to warm up veins before they put the cannula in. The anti nausea stuff they give you is brilliant. My nurse refused to give me the ect until they were in place (some question about whether I could have the anti nausea with already being on mirtazipine - it was fine). I lost all my hair BUT it grew back, thick and curly. You WILL get through this. Chemo nurses are fantastic, mine was during covid, and she still gave me a hug when I cried. Take a deep breath, and go in with an open mind, you've got this 💪

@Restlessdreams1994 thank you I love that advice I am going to get that done, I am so worried about scaring my autistic son.

Focussing on curly hair and maybe even a new pair of boobs, maybe it’ll be worth it after all ha.

I didn't bother with cold cap because it adds extra time and discomfort to the chemo and I didn't want to make it harder than necessary. I felt some pressure to "just try it" and once I made it clear I wasn't going to it was one hurdle off the list.
I had a different regime to you but the main takeaway is that you will have good and bad days which usually follow a pattern and not necessarily what you might expect. They give you a lot of additional drugs including steroids. The steroids will make you feel good on those days so make the most. They also wire you so you can't sleep.
My best day was always the day after chemo.