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Original poster

Group of 30 from DD's school lured her to the park to attack, mug, and humiliate her

507 replies

user1468352691 · 07/03/2017 00:54

I'm absolutely going out of my mind with worry and my daughter is hysterical and is refusing to come out of her room, and is refusing to go to school tomorrow. I want to phone the police but she is begging me not to, so I need advice from my fellow mums of teens.

So, a bit of backstory. My daughter is 14, and started a new school 6 months ago. She fitted in extremely well at first, and befriended some of the girls from the "popular" clique. She was out nearly every day after school and at the weekends, they'd go into town or each others houses. I was thrilled because in her previous school she had always been left out, we moved school so she could have a fresh start, and it worked, so I though at the time.

Around a month ago, DD went into school and suddenly this group blanked her. The "clique" consists of around 30 people in her year, and is a mix of boys and girls. DD had (and still doesn't know) what she did to trigger this. In the weeks that followed, only one girl from the clique was still "friends" with her, and she claimed she had also been blanked by the clique. This was a lie as we'd later find out. On Friday, DD got a text from the friend asking if she wanted to meet up at the park and get something to eat in town afterwards. DD thought her and this girl were best friends, so she agreed.

DD walked to the park, and she says the friend was waiting for her at the gates, and told her "I have something amazing to show you.", and led her to the other end of the park. What awaited her, were 30 kids from her year standing in the field. She says the majority of the "clique" were there. They ran up to her, took pictures of her, hit her, pulled her hair and took her phone. The ones that weren't attacking her stood and watched, while laughing and filming. After they'd left (the attack lasted at least half an hour my DD said) she ran home and told me what happened. She's been locked up in her room most of the weekend and I let her miss school Monday and today, that may have been the wrong move but I couldn't bear the thought of going through that again.

I know I need to send her back to school tomorrow and we are both sick to our stomachs at the thought, but we already had the LEA on our backs a few months ago when we went on holiday for a week during term time. I wish I could just keep her safe at home for the rest of the year. I don't know what to do :(

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 07/03/2017 10:05

It is up to the victim of any crime to have the choice to call the police or ask for help to do so.

I disagree when it is a child and a huge gang of other children have attacked her.

Regardless, the OP says she is phoning 101 today.

Flowers to you and your DD, OP.

GlitteryFluff · 07/03/2017 10:05

Your poor dd Flowers
Kids can be fucking awful.
Hope those responsible get punished.

katronfon · 07/03/2017 10:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheHobbitMum · 07/03/2017 10:07

Your poor daughter, I cannot imagine how she must be feeling :( I'm sure once the police and school are properly involved she'll feel safer and those who've done this should be held accountable!

Branleuse · 07/03/2017 10:08

you need to call the police and keep her off school. You cant let her go back to that school

CaroleService · 07/03/2017 10:08

Monitor social media ; there will be videos doing the rounds of instagram, etc. You need them for evidence.

thethoughtfox · 07/03/2017 10:08

Tell her she doesn't have to go back. Give her some breathing space, pick up some work from school and give it time. 30 pupils across a year group? I wouldn't want to go back. She may feel comfortable going back in a few weeks; she may never feel safe there.

ravenmum · 07/03/2017 10:10

Police. Don't let these children learn that bullying is just something we have to live with.

ravenmum · 07/03/2017 10:10

And find a new bloody school.

Underparmummy · 07/03/2017 10:11

You will find those videos/photos online I reckon. FIND THEM.

Never, ever, ever send her back to that school again. EVER.

I hope the police are now involved. Your poor dd.

wishcarry · 07/03/2017 10:11

Oh OP your poor dd.
what a truly horrific experience to have gone through.
I echo every single pp.phone the police and tell the school your dd will not be back until her safety is guranteed.
Flowers

HappyFlappy · 07/03/2017 10:11

What a terrifying ordeal for your poor daughter!

This is horrific. I suspect the school haven't contacted you because they are covering their backs looking into the matter.

Your DD is understandably very reluctant to take this further - she just wants to blank it out - but this isn't an option because she is going to be seeing her attackers almost every day, and facing the snide comments, casual physical bullying (shoving etc) and the sniggering.

I have a feeling that the assault was probably a lot worse and more embarrassing than she installing you - possibly involving sexual humiliation of some type. If people were filming it/taking photographs, they may have treated her that this stuff will be posted online if she says anything.

This violent bullying will not lessen if she doesn't report it. Sadly, she is between the devil and the deep blue sea, as whatever action is taken, it is going to be very difficult for her. However, I can promise that if she can find the courage to stand up to these scum, and there are repercussions for them, then it will raise her self-esteem and help her cope with difficulties (of every type) in future.

The worst thing possible is for her to feel powerless against them - but I'm afraid that you have to take her autonomy from her on this occasion no matter how much she begs you not to take it further. She will have no life if they get away with it.

Your poor child - my heart aches for you both. I really can't understand the spite and vindictiveness some children seem to exhibit. It's terrible.

toomuchtimereadingthreads2016 · 07/03/2017 10:12

That is absolutely awful, disgusting behaviour, your poor poor DD :(

Agree absolutely with PP. When I was a teen I didn't tell my parents the half of what was going on for fear that they would get involved. Now as an adult I can see that they NEEDED to get involved for my own well being even if that scared me.

Absolutely a police matter, a school matter, the little shits who did this need to be held accountable, their parents need to know how disgusting their behaviour is to another child. I hope that at the least the police will scare the wits out of them, and with any luck be charging them for assault and theft!

Sending big hugs to you, I would be a mess if this were my DD, but you need to stay focused on getting it sorted xxx

HappyFlappy · 07/03/2017 10:13

*threatened her, not treated her

sorry.

2014newme · 07/03/2017 10:13

Police and head teacher.

Take action ffs

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 07/03/2017 10:14

If my child was involved in something like that I would want to know.

Can't believe you didn't immediately phone the police. Assault and robbery at the very least and at 24 these kids can be prosecuted.

Videos of the incident exist and could have shown evidence of the perpetrators.

I hope you have involved the police.

Feel sick for your daughter.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 07/03/2017 10:14

You will find those videos/photos online I reckon

This ^^ Without doubt, some of them will have thought it amusing to "share" this abomination, so I hope the evidence can be traced

Benedikte2 · 07/03/2017 10:16

It must have been a terrifying experience as well as humiliating. It is likely to be repeated if you do not take firm action. The next victim may not survive the assaults or may be sexually assaulted. Even decent kids who would not normally participate in bullying can get caught up in the animal passions and commit acts they will regret for the rest of their lives.
Seek support to ensure this bullying is stamped out for your daughters sake
Good luck and do seek continued support from MN

KERALA1 · 07/03/2017 10:18

This is about as bad as it gets. Am so sorry this happened. How depressing people can be so cruel. I think you have to call the police you can't pretend it didn't happen. Also move schools.

Though if I found my child had been in the group of perpetrators I think part of me would die.

humourless · 07/03/2017 10:19

Call the police and move schools instantly.

Dragongirl10 · 07/03/2017 10:20

Op..please phone the police it is not your DDs call, you are the adult, l would be at the school with a list of names and not leave until the Head and safeguarding officer had a meeting....stop being so passive this is serious.

I would also write to each and every parent at home detailling their vile childrens behavior. They need to know and discipline their horrible children.
If the school do not apologise and take appropriate action l would contact the local paper with a report on the behavior.

Bulling of this sort ruins lives and stays with you for a very long time, kids should not get away with it, and neither should the school regardless of whether she goes back.

Personally l would not send her back and get her couselling.

Good Luck...I am so mad on your DDs behalf

whattodowiththepoo · 07/03/2017 10:20

Talk to your daughter calmly and get all of the details (make sure she knows that if she lied about anything to you it's ok but the full story will come out so you need to know the truth now) videos of the attack are almost certainly on the internet.
Call the police ASAP and tell them everything you have managed to write down and confirmed with your daughter.

She needs to understand that if she embellished the story or lied at all she isn't in trouble but you need the whole truth now.

humourless · 07/03/2017 10:20

Personally I would want to find something heavy and go into school and pulverise each and every one of those little fuckers.

dalmatianmad · 07/03/2017 10:20

I'm so so sorry that this has happened to your poor daughter, horrendous.

You need to report those bastards to the police, it's within the best interests of your daughter Flowers

HappyFlappy · 07/03/2017 10:21

Please people - don't castigate the OP for not calling the police immediately.

She was trying to helped protect her daughter, and I would think she is in a state shock herself at this bloody horrible assault on her defenceless child. I doubt she is thinking clearly herself at the moment.

She is going to contact the police and it will get taken further. Yes - the earlier the police are involved, the better, but sometimes we are so shocked and torn in so many different directions (especially with her DH being away and unable to offer support) that our minds go into freefall and we can't think.

OP

I hope you are your daughter are able to speak to someone in authority about this very soon and set things in motion to get this vile behaviour stopped, and the perpetrators punished.