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Bullying

Find advice from others who have experienced school or workplace bullying on our Bulllying forum.

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Original poster

Group of 30 from DD's school lured her to the park to attack, mug, and humiliate her

507 replies

user1468352691 · 07/03/2017 00:54

I'm absolutely going out of my mind with worry and my daughter is hysterical and is refusing to come out of her room, and is refusing to go to school tomorrow. I want to phone the police but she is begging me not to, so I need advice from my fellow mums of teens.

So, a bit of backstory. My daughter is 14, and started a new school 6 months ago. She fitted in extremely well at first, and befriended some of the girls from the "popular" clique. She was out nearly every day after school and at the weekends, they'd go into town or each others houses. I was thrilled because in her previous school she had always been left out, we moved school so she could have a fresh start, and it worked, so I though at the time.

Around a month ago, DD went into school and suddenly this group blanked her. The "clique" consists of around 30 people in her year, and is a mix of boys and girls. DD had (and still doesn't know) what she did to trigger this. In the weeks that followed, only one girl from the clique was still "friends" with her, and she claimed she had also been blanked by the clique. This was a lie as we'd later find out. On Friday, DD got a text from the friend asking if she wanted to meet up at the park and get something to eat in town afterwards. DD thought her and this girl were best friends, so she agreed.

DD walked to the park, and she says the friend was waiting for her at the gates, and told her "I have something amazing to show you.", and led her to the other end of the park. What awaited her, were 30 kids from her year standing in the field. She says the majority of the "clique" were there. They ran up to her, took pictures of her, hit her, pulled her hair and took her phone. The ones that weren't attacking her stood and watched, while laughing and filming. After they'd left (the attack lasted at least half an hour my DD said) she ran home and told me what happened. She's been locked up in her room most of the weekend and I let her miss school Monday and today, that may have been the wrong move but I couldn't bear the thought of going through that again.

I know I need to send her back to school tomorrow and we are both sick to our stomachs at the thought, but we already had the LEA on our backs a few months ago when we went on holiday for a week during term time. I wish I could just keep her safe at home for the rest of the year. I don't know what to do :(

OP posts:

Serialweightwatcher · 07/03/2017 11:24

How horrendous for her and you .... I think the police definitely need to be contacted - even if they just speak to a handful of them and scare the shit out of them it would help. The school may be trying to investigate before ringing you back but they won't be able to do much, as in I don't suppose they would exclude all of them, or hardly any of them so it won't be such a deterrent. The police have to be called for this to escalate so that they find the ring leaders - the other sheep that were there are more likely to feel intimidated by the police and give the full story. So sorry OP - what a terrible thing to have to deal with for your poor daughter

mumofthemonsters808 · 07/03/2017 11:25

I have no advice, but just wanted to say how sorry I am that this has happened.You must be out of your mind with worry, I really feel for you, your poor daughter.

Kiroro · 07/03/2017 11:27

You obviously need to call the police. Now. FFS. Why on earth wouldn't you.

jamont0ast · 07/03/2017 11:28

I'm sure you are well into reporting all of this to school and the police by now, but just wanted to say as her mother and an adult you are well within your rights to go over her head in this situation.

The little bastards need punishing, they deserve to be locked up IMO. This is disgusting behaviour that nobody should have to accept, let alone a kid.

Hope it gets sorted and your daughter is ok

user1475480824 · 07/03/2017 11:29

Did she do something to trigger this gang of 30 into attacking her?

You obviously don't have an absolute effing clue about school gang or pack mentality. Very few if any victims of these hate campaigns, witch hunts, bullying clicks or whatever you want to call them do anything whatsoever to provoke it. These kinds of young people don't need a reason or excuse to do it they are just horrible individuals who, made more dangerous when they're together, become fixated on a target and set them up for their sick entertainment. Maybe I haven't used the best terminology here but it's complicated to explain

Reow · 07/03/2017 11:30

This is 100% a police matter.

BeerMuggles · 07/03/2017 11:33

Your poor daughter. Tell her that she doesn't have to go back to that school. Time for the police, and another fresh start. This is horrendous and she has to know that you will fight back on her behalf even if atm she doesn't want to ''make a fuss'' or make it worse. Bless her. How absolutely terrifying.

lougle · 07/03/2017 11:36

I'm sure the OP is in contact with the relevant people now. It must be quite overwhelming to have so many posts telling her off for not taking action.

Pibplob · 07/03/2017 11:39

Not read the whole thread but please call the police and let the school know. These bullies need to know it isn't acceptable and your daughter needs to know that there so help out there. She knows the names of some of the girls including the one that was pretending to be her friend. Your poor daughter. I hope this sorts itself out and the bullies get sorted out and their parents are made aware of how awful they are being.

Original poster

user1468352691 · 07/03/2017 11:41

I went into school this morning. Though I originally planned for me and DD to go togehter, she understandably was dreading it so I left her at home. When I went into pastoral, I asked for the head but he and the deputy were apparently out on a meeting, so I got head of student care. She told me they hadn't heard my message but they had become well aware of the situation as it's the talk of the school. She also told me that a rumour has started about my daughter comitting suicide, and there is a fake picture going round on social media of a dead body with my daughters face photoshopped onto it. As if this situation could've gotten any worse...

School told me they would let her spend the next few weeks in a "safe space" but it's not good enough IMO! 30 kids were involved and no doubt the rest of the year has become aware of the situation, there's 300 other kids in the year so of course she's going to bloody run into some no matter how "isolated" she is at the school. DH thinks I should deregister her, and I'm in a right mind to. The only other school within our catchment is way over full capacity but I'm happy to home educate.

When I got home, my DD was in hysterics because she had been sent a video on Snapchat in which at least 10 kids are standing in a circle in the playground describing how they plan to kill her! I don't know what to do or how to console her, I'm trying my best. I had to take my 11 month old for a check up and there was no way I was going to leave her alone so I dropped her of with MIL.

As for the police, I rang them when I got home and they came straight round. They interviewed DD and got down as many names as she could remember, and also asked her questions about how this had affected her mental state. She had to show them her social media profile and show them the bruises on her arm. We had a row afterwards because she was upset I had phoned the police, but we've made up. The police are going to speak to the school and contact the children's families. I rang the GP but there are no appointments free until next Friday, though they recommended I look into getting a CAMHS referral. My plan to work through this with the school has gone out of the window, I'm deregistering her and I don't give a damn what they say at this point. Her health has to come first. I've made her delete all social media profiles (we've sent all proof to the police already) and destroy her sim card. Need to let the police do their job now, unfortunately a lot of the kids live within walking distance of our house and she is terrified the "mob" will come over. Also, to the person from The Sun who tracked me down on Facebook, I can happily tell you where to shove your interview.

OP posts:

NinjaPosse · 07/03/2017 11:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpikyFish · 07/03/2017 11:42

That is absolutely awful. You need to contact the Headteacher immediately about this. Those children involved need to have a clear and unequivocal message sent to them

hellokittymania · 07/03/2017 11:42

Your poor DD :(

I'm visually impaired and very tiny. When I first moved to Vietnam in 2007, I was attacked by 15 teenage boys and it was terrifying. Please tell the police

Theimpossiblegirl · 07/03/2017 11:42

Oh my god, your poor little girl.
I would absolutely involve the police and the Governors at once.
Don't send her back there, either find another school or look at local home-schooling groups.
to you both, it's heartbreaking that this has happened.

Theimpossiblegirl · 07/03/2017 11:44

Just saw the update- a lot of different criminal offences are now taking place. remove her and call the police. Don't let the school get away with this- the next child might well take their own life.

SpikyFish · 07/03/2017 11:45

The current response from the school isn't acceptable - they need to completely step up their game.

Floggingmolly · 07/03/2017 11:46

The feral little fuckers . What's gone wrong when kids behave like animals?

Tiredemma · 07/03/2017 11:47

I think that you also need to contact the LEA or/and OFSTED so they can be aware of how this particular school deals with this time of incident. I do not feel that they had any intention of reasonably safeguarding your DD.

Keep her out of there.

Alfieisnoisy · 07/03/2017 11:47

Massive well done to you OP, what these kids did was totally unacceptable.

And as for the journalist from The Sun making contact via this thread...

ElspethFlashman · 07/03/2017 11:48

Ask for an interview with the other school. Even if they're over capacity, they may find a place on compassionate grounds.

Though tbh I imagine a month off school entirely would do her no harm.

And ask for an emergency appointment at the GPs. Friday is a mile away for her.

Tiredemma · 07/03/2017 11:48

The Sun is such a Shit Rag

JellyWitch · 07/03/2017 11:48

I would be in a meeting with head before she even considered returning to school and i would have the police involved too.

autumnmonths · 07/03/2017 11:50

I also think you should be going back to the head and governors - the head of student care knew of the situation (to the point that your DD could have taken her life) and didn't get in touch with you to let you know? I find that unacceptable on every level. I'm not surprised you're taking her out.

EminemTickets · 07/03/2017 11:51

This is all very sad and the school's response is not surprising at all, they couldn't care less as usual

Flowerydems · 07/03/2017 11:52

Oh my god my heart was in my throat reading this. Well done you calling the police, its for the best.

I was bullied in high school and didn't have any friends really until university. So you can let your daughter know it does get better. I'm still not knee deep in friends but have a few who have my back if I need. She's lucky having such a quick thinking supportive mother that's for sure

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