Dh making racial comparisons about my pregnant body but shuts down conversations about race

[pleaseguveadvicenotattack]

Hi everyone - please be kind as I'm really struggling and have no one to talk to IRL about this. Not looking for judgment or "why did you marry him" comments.

I'm Black, pregnant, and my husband (white) recently compared my changing body to tribal women, tried showing me explicit photos as "examples."

We have a good relationship overall but racial issues come up monthly and he completely shuts down when I try to discuss them.

I'm really worried about the impact on our future child and need advice on how to approach these conversations without him getting defensive. I know the difference between appreciating African features versus using them negatively.

Looking specifically for communication strategies from others in interracial relationships. How do you discuss racial sensitivity when your partner shuts down?

How would you approach this in the best way to avoid shutting down?

Pleaseguveadvicenotattack my Darling,

You're married to a benign racist
You're the flower he picked from the bunch,
Whilst seeing/presenting himself as a 'good man' with a black wife and mixed heritage family
Who knows that he's 'boss' and even if he's got squiffy racial ideas he can't be racist
Because he married you
Proof enough that he's NOT racist
Right??

why are you with this unpleasant man !? He wanted to tell you you “ had let yourself go “. How fucking dare he !!!

why are you not posting about THAT comment ?

the fact he thinks it’s ok to say that to you and the fact you are at a loss how to have a conversation with him where your feelings are heard and validated is the reason you need to revaluate this relationship seriously

For racial issues to come up monthly is too much