Mum not going to "bother" getting hair done for my wedding

[namechangedforthisaibu]

Just name changed for this as I don't know what to think about it. My wedding is coming up and my mum planned to have her hair done and now she is saying she isn't going to bother.

She is saying because of covid and stuff she doesn't want to be sat in the hairdressers too long. But she still goes shopping and does everything as normal.

I don't want to sound mean as I love my mum to bits and I do everything for her. But her hair looks terrible! It has thinned terribly at the back so she has a patch of skin with no hair on at the back. She still has her hair round the sides so she tries to pull it over the bald spot and puts it in a tiny bobble. Her hair is very very very short.

I don't want to look back at my wedding photos and my mum just doesn't look good.

I hope this doesn't sound horrible I'm just trying to be honest.

It doesn't sound like a hairdresser could do much with it anyway, short of applying a wig.

Your mum's hair, her choice. No-one will be looking at your mum's hair on the day.

Could you ask her to come to the hairdresser with you on the day when you have yours done?

So what.

What could reasonably be done if it’s like that? I suspect she feels self-conscious.

Can she wear a nice hat?

Surely you should be thankful that you get to spend the day with loved ones and not care what they look like.

Poor woman. She probably doesn’t want to go to the hairdresser as she knows it’s not great and there isn’t much a hairdresser could do about it.

I think not upsetting your mum about her hair is more important than your wedding photos tbh.

How lovely of you ...

Sorry it does sound horrible.

Be glad she's there.

The description of her hair is probably exactly why she doesn't want to see a hairdresser....

What could a hairdresser do to hide it?

Maybe she plans to wear a hat?

She sounds as though she's really struggling.

I agree a hair dresser is not going be able to do much of anything.

Your mother is probably anxious and embarrassed to go to one as female pattern balding has so much stigma attached to it. Even you are saying she looks terrible. Think about how she must feel?

I think you need to be a bit less shallow about how your wedding picture will look.

I don't want to look back at my wedding photos and my mum just doesn't look good.

You really need to get a grip on what's important. She'll be there celebrating with you. What does her hair matter?

I got married in a hotel and the hairdresser did my hair, my mother's and my sister's. Could the person doing yours do hers?

She was planning on having braids (Afro hair) she has enough hair to braid.

The thing is whenever we go out and take pictures then I show her she will say oh my hair looks terrible etc..

Are you more concerned about your mum's wishes, safety, and comfort, or your photos? I would be very unhappy with someone telling me I didn't look good enough, especially if it was down to something I felt self-conscious about like hair loss. I would actually be very upset.

It does sound horrible honestly.

Why do you want wedding photos taken? Is it so you can look back at who was there with you - in which case why did it matter about her hair? Or is it because you want it to look pretty - if so tell your mum she's not model material and hire a prettier stand in.

OP, this post is awful

Sounds like she may be self conscious about her hair. Is she planning to wear a hat or fascinator? It honestly wouldn't occur to me to have a issue with my mum not having her hair done?

I don't mean for it to sound horrible! I just know my mum she is always complaining about it but always has an excuse why she can't go.

Can't you get a hairdresser to come to the house?

Op this is really sad, instead of worrying about what your photos will be like perhaps concentrate on trying to make your mum feel better about herself.

Yes she has bought a fascinator but she planned to have her hair done to wear it. I don't know whether I should just book her in and take her myself.

I can’t believe you are giving this much headspace to your poor mums hair.
I also doubt a hairdresser could do much.
It’s about the day not the photos.

Wow. Just wow.