The PESH deli where we were so distracted we forgot to think of a new title

[FannyPriceless]

THE NOT-LIST

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24
CUNextTuesday, born June 29
Skihorse, boy, born 1 July

UPDIFFED
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
Carrots, giving birth in a lavender field, damn it, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
backinthebox, she bought a racehorse, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
silversky, the biggest farter, due 18 October (first baybee)
Honeymoo, 3 wees a night, due October 31 (boy)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November 14
ReginaMonologue, knows when all the sales are, due November 20 (boy)
maswera, jungle hottie - due November (???)
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25

rots Hugely positive news on the labour/waters/medical intervention front! I hope you get your lavender field.

Wrt salty and gin and muse - I'm really grateful that they are honest enough to say what they can and can't bear to hear. It's lovely to be offered support, but it can backfire and can make you feel even more alone in your fear. Which I think may be what happens when someone who has had a sucessful pregnancy with bleeding shares their experience with someone who has had a traumatic and life threatening ectopic pregnancy.

I'd hate the pregnancy stories to disappear from this thread. It's so lovely to hear about ESH babies!

Hello. Rots glad you are hanging on in there... hopefully not too long now!

I have to say I'm with Drom. It's probably really easy at 23 weeks (i.e. me) to say "try not to worry" and whilst that is meant in the best possible way, it probably could come across a bit glib when you are in those early stages and going mental with worry/trying not to worry. We're all here to talk to and I think that support should be known, whether taken or not.

Gin/Muse/Salty I would be a rubbish hippy but am lighting an incense stick from the white company in any case.

It would be a shame to start another thread and I know I have found all the stories helpful/entertaining/filed away for later use even in the early days. It's lovely to hear about the other side, cos I do bore myself with all the preggo chat sometimes.

Little woofer seems to have recovered a bit thank god and is running around with toys and trying to steal chicken as per normal which is reassuring. Spent all of last night waking up to check his breathing as was freaking out with the sedation effects on him. Ho hum, does not bode well for poor baby. Mr Moo accusing me of over mollycoddling the dog.

Hope everyone has enjoyed the sunshine today. BBQ and chilling in the garden has been just what the doctor ordered.

Okily dokily then, the baby chat stays, full power, on here for now. But you can tell me to STFU if you want. Any time... Within Reason

I am sitting ignoring the tennis, playing with some photos (we tried to have an arty shoot - epic fail with screaming child), having hot flushes, with a little bit of puke on my shoulder, grateful that she had gained more weight when the MW checked this morning. Happy days.

Changed my name. Not sure about it tho. "Won a Wean" might have been better. or perhaps both a bit too Jockish. Or perhaps should have just left it. (too much time on hands). Nonetheless, have added pic of said Bairn to profile.

Ramble, ramble, ramble...

Tender cuddles to furrymoo. Snogs and bum gropes to any lurking BESHs. x

Nope, not comfy with what I just did. We would not talk about pregnancy in the Palace. But BESHs who want to hear about it can come here and lurk/post as they feel comfortable doing.

I'm still thinking new fred is the way forward. Those of you who want the baby stories will be welcome, but those who might get upset can easily steer clear. I plan to write lots about my little girl and this new life of mine, and I am not at ease going on and on here, in the same way that I am paranoid about too many baby-related status-updates/photos on FB. People can single me out and hide me there. I'd like them to be able to avoid it all here as well, as necessary.

BUt I'd also like to keep up with the antics of all the BESH and PESHs. a door-open, three-tier system sounds like a diplomatic, yet inclusive, way forward.

casp am with you! New 'laid a baybee' fred would be good, cos personally am getting bit freaked about labour stories... Am still envisaging gentle sneeze and my giant 14 lb baybee with be presented o me in towel innit... Although no one has said anyfing bad, and I does wanna know really...

Hope little canine moo gets better soon... Poor thing.

Weeeelll, a palace can have a feck-load of rooms, right? Casp I see your point; a three-tier system might be a good idea, and would certainly give me all the Internet to play with.

I feel like a complete shit-plonk over my comments earlier. gin, salt and muse I am so sorry. Like rots said, I wanted to show some support rather than say nothing at all, but obviously got it horribly wrong. Please feel free to violently throw your empties in the direction of my thick head.

casp I think I'm with you on the chat situation. I'm feeling uncomfortable that I'm writing more than I think is right for the deli about baby-life, but I also have a need to share (and hear) a whole lot more. So I'm both holding myself back and sharing more than I'm comfortable with. But I really don't want to lose touch with anyone.

I think the open-door, three-room system sounds like a good suggestion, so everyone would be free to visit / lurk / post in any of the three threads as they wish. But if we do that, what would we call it? The breast pad supply cupboard? The wine cellar? (Given how often I find myself swigging back a glass while actually BF.)

rots I think I failed to mention how completely thrilled and amazed I am at your current situation. Get you for finding the most capable, dishy medic possible at exactly the right time and place! You see - that's the power of PESH lavender.

Honestly fanny I absolutely did not intend to make you feel bad, and I really really know you were being kind and supportive

I just needed to say that as I am really struggling and terrified that this is another ectopic... and as that involved lots of on/off bleeding and I am now higher risk then I can't draw so much strength from others' stories.

But I can draw strength from all of your kindness and support.

Btw carrots In my opinion it is okay to say that you can't deal with something very well, and to explain why you can't. That doesn't constitute being 'hard' on anybody, and I am frankly amazed that anyone could interpret it as such.

I truly do appreciate everyone's support, and if there is anyone else out there who doubts this then please don't!

I'm with Gin - Fanny/Silver you were undoubtedly being supportive. I don't think anyone was hard on you though - the problem, carrots is that in my situation (and perhaps some others, I don't believe that i can 'give it a couple of weeks' and be through that hell. I simply don't understand what it would be like to have that.

I appreciate everyone's thoughts and good vibes - there isn't anything more that can be done.

Rots, if you truly want this to be a supportive forum like you say then you need to let people explain what supportive means to them and what they need. You can't tell people what they can and can't find supportive or to accept support that actually hurts just because it was meant to be supportive. That's 'my way or the high way' thinking and is the very attitude that could put people off asking for support, not Gin's reaction.

For what it's worth, I like the idea of magic room no. 3, for all the MEShes/FESHes. Is no reason why we can't all groove between the 3, depending on what we ourselves need or want to give to others or chat about or lurk for, etc., etc. Is fab idea. And hopefully, we'll all end up in room no. 3 with our baybees as soon as possible!

oh, thank heavens for that, I thought I might be out on a limb there!
I shall start a fred today/tomorrow, even if 'tis just fanny and I there are the mo (can't speak for anyone who has not yet contributed).

scorps - I think you might even have started the cogs of thread title inspiration rolling... (however, given my current lack of brain cells, any ideas might leak away with my milk).

I think a 3 room system is the way to go fo sho - I like to think of them as 3 giant ballrooms with loads of mirrors and fancy chandeliers . TBH that's what I'd always assumed we would do, just because us peshes didn't stay on the besh fred as it's not the place, although you do drop in and out when you want.

And also agree gin was not being ahrd on anyone, we're here to be supportive, and if one person wants one type of support and someone else another then I don't see why they shouldn't say so. None of us want to say the wrong thing.

ginbabe have a million buckets of love and some random violence from me.

Thanks fanny Has been an interesting day. We went to check out the labour ward, and to talk through with them re options of waterbirth, IV antis and so on. They were really, really nice and supportive and understanding of the stressful changes that have happened over the past few days. They have a lovely waterbirth room with - get this - lavender flowers in there .

We then went to the midwife led unit, just to talk things through. It's right next to the hospital and is brand new (about 2 weeks old!). It's totally gorgeous but because it's so new they're absolutely strict in their guidelines so won't take me. But the MW there spent 1/2 hour with us going through questions and have really helped us to clarify things. At a minimum I've stuff to go into the NCT mag to promote it!

So we will see. I had a stress about it earlier but back to feeling a lot better now. Have packed our hospital bag (1/2 full of snacks and 1/2 of nappies!) and we're ready to rock and roll - when this little fella is anyway.

honey so glad your little woof is on the mend. Poor little thing

So if there is a 3rd room does that mean I can join there too as I already have a mini me? Believe me, I still need plenty of help getting the wee man to do what I want him to do!

Moo glad woofa is back on form.

Fanny and honeymoo, I absolutely did not intend anyone to feel awful. My post was meant to just be an explanation for how people might be feeling, not an attack on anyone. Just trying to help everyone understand the dark scary world that is pregnancy after miscarriage/ectopic.

One of the great tragedies of the whole thing is there is always the constant fear. MrM and I haven't told any family as we can't bear their sadness if it goes wrong again or them worrying along with us. MrM wouldn't even talk about it for the first week after I tested as he was terrified.

If I was blunter than I should have been then I'm sorry. But I feel so strongly for salty and gin and just wanted to try and explain how they were probably feeling.

I loves you, I do.

Yay, looking forward to 'secret' love-in with caspy tomorrow in our very own special room.

okes of course - the more the merrier!

Thanks muse. You are completely right.

muser I completely understand what you are and were saying, and I really, really hope that tomorrow is a positive and wonderful day for you. I'm really sorry that you are all going through such a tough time

Hoping that ski is able to get out of the hossie tomorrow. Miss you.

FESH thread here - please ignore the duplicate and use this link.

It's all got a bit heavy and contraversial in here, and then a bit of a hug and a love-in today! Glad everyone has sorted out how they feel, as I am like a bull in a china shop when it comes to tact/lack of it, and am no good at all at reassurance - tis best left to better people than me! Am good at slpas though, if anyone needs one.

Anyway. Don't scare my friend off by starting fights! And CK if you are lurking and wondering if you have found the right place - come on in! This is the soft cheese and booze place I told you about, with t'other horsey people. They don't normally get overstressed but there are lot of early baby AND early pregnancy shenanigans going on.

People on the other place - am putting up a picture there from today to show I can still run . Only in bursts of 30 seconds though, then I collapse in a heap for the next 24 hrs.

at you not being tactful box . Personally I find your openness and willingness to say it how it is totally refreshing and I always find your point of view of interest and well thought through. Loved the rosette thing!

Hello box's friend Do join us!

News this morning is that I've had some decent contractions from 4ish this morning. Got up about 6 feeling a bit uncomfortable lying down and of course nothing since . However, on the positive side it's a progression.

I have been advised that if things kick off properly I would be best getting into the hopsital sooner rather than later because they would want the first dose of anti-bis to go in as early as possible. And given my history means I may possibly have a fast labour (when the damned thing starts), I may not be updating. But I will if I can. At the moment it's all pretty dull.

However, the sun is shining, the dog is sunbathing, my temperature is still fine (no signs of infection) and my bag is packed. Just need to buy dog food now!

muser I believe your scan is today. Very, very best for it. When is everyone else going for scans?

casper Love the new name Have popped over to the new place in preparation. Hopefully I'll join soon. I would be so happy waiting if this hadn't happened - just enjoying maternity leave - but I am just struggling to relax as much as I should do because every day is a day I could get an infection and it all go horribly wrong

Being positive though. It's still all fine, he's wriggling like a nutter (in fact, without the waters it really can hurt - this morning after a few contracts he obviously objected and was really quite painful in his wriggling!).

Muser honestly don't worry, I haven't taken any offence and you haven't been blunt. I was saying that I completely understand and it is probably a bit annoying people going don't worry all the time when you are understandably worried!!!

Anyway thinking of you today.

Rots will you get a bloody move on!!!! :O

And I'm coming over the other place ALOT ok? I wanna hear about it all!! Mr Moos birthday today so just having bacon s/wich and then off to v nice restaurant for lunch. Doglet is back to normal and eating compost etc so all is well in the Moo House.

honey I wish I could!

Bloody, bloody hell. Just got a call from work. Major infrastructure outage. Fuckety fuckety fuck. Today of all days. If I can't fix it from here I may have to go in - DON'T NEED THIS TODAY

come on rots lay that baybee!!!!

ski should be coming home today according to her text from last night, yay!!!

Hurrah for Ski's return to the land of the interweb.

rots Surely you can't go into work? I'm not saying you want to be dancing around nekkid in the office, but isn't that taking a bit of an unnecessary risk? What would they have done if you were definitely in labour? Or out of the country?