-*- AUGUST 2010 -*- scans, kicks and other 2nd trimester bits.

[CherryPie3]

Part 4

I had my 16wk appt with the midwife today, was nice to hear the baby's heart beat on the doppler . My BP was slightly up so i need to go back at 20wks so they can keep an eye on me.

Nat - I too have been having period pain style cramps which as its my first i am assuming is natural...

LCR - I was also thinking at the weekend i've never changed a nappy or know how to judge whether a baby is hot or cold etc. Am hoping that antenatal classes my my book will help. I am reading "what to expect when you're expecting" which people have told me is one of the best on the market - i like it so far!

Hello and happy evening to you all.

Welcome coffeelady and yummymummy

CazEm Your friends clearly don't understand how special it is to be pregnant and grow a much wanted and loved baby!!! You've always got us - I think it would be a good idea to arrange a meet-up actually. Either while we're pg or maybe post-natally?

What do people think?

Just had steak chips and peas for tea and while it isn't something I would normally eat, it was delish!!

Hope everyones well and I hope everything has gone smoothly with BigMuther today. Poor love.
xxxxx

Has anyone noticed MN behaving funny? When I posted just now it brought up the 'preview message' for someone else entirely - and there was no message .

Is it just me?

Thanks mrsZaC... I'm just hoping its just a reaction to me being the first to change the mold, but someone was going to sooner or later - we're in our mid to late 20s as a group now afterall!! New phase of our adults lives I suppose - they will all follow suit in a couple of years I'm sure cuz another friend is getting married in 2011 and I can't imagine babies will be much later than that! I

I just hope when baby gets here they will be more positive, don't get me wrong they have been excited to a point, just making it obvious they are not thrilled at the impending changes as we only ever get together for whole weekends as we live all across south wales! It is a little sad though because already they've upset me and I've hardly made any effort to keep up with them since our last get together in mid- January cuz I came away deflated with all the attitude. (Prob made it worse by cancelling my bday weekend in 3 weeks but I really don't feel up to a houseful!)

But your right - if the attitude remains and baby is unwelcome at gatherings then they won't be worth the effort, I've already decided baby will always come first and everyone else will just have to accept that or quite frankly p-off!

and like you said I'm sure I'll make lots of new mummy-type friends in the next year! I'm lucky enough to have a SIL with a toddler and an older family friend with a baby so I do have mummys around and I know they'll be a great support and send me in the right direction of good mum and baby groups in the area!

Isn't MN great for venting, I feel much better for letting all that out!! Hope everyone is having a good evening! x x

and thanks Cherrypie - your exactly right! x

yey a get-together

I have been on this forum only 2 days so far and girls thank you so much for a lovely welcoming

I am def up for meeting up...:P would be nice putting nickname to the face...;-)

I am so happy to be here!! Have a lovely evenning girls x

CazEM, welcome to the group TBH I found most of my friends from my singleton days have moved on, and even more since I had DD 15mths ago. Your life changes so much and they can't understand the priority changes! On the plus side I have met some lovely mums with babies the same age as my DD and I've built up a different set of friends. I do miss the old friends but life moves on, and I love my DD - anyone who can't accept her, I have no time for.
I had a take-away curry for tea...oh it was delicious! Plenty left for tomorrow too. I have seriously got the 2nd trimester bloom, missed it completely with DD but now I'm actually enjoying being pregnant , never thought I'd say that!

LCR - when we first had dd1 we were so careful. Gosh I thought we'd never get her dressed - how do you persuade her to bend her arms to fit in a vest etc...well trust me by about the third change of clothes, nappy etc you are soon into the swing...the only thing that took us longer was breastfeeding - I reckon that took about 4-6 weeks to really get into the swing of.

Don't panic...it is so much easier when you have your own...mind you one you have one then other people expect you to be able to apply your knowledge to their babies...my goodness there is nothing that terrifies me more than holding someone else's baby - plus I can never remember what they like at that age.

A really good book to get is called the social baby - it doesn't tell you anything you will pick up within 12 hours of having your baby - ie how to dress it, wash it, what to do when it cries etc...but it does tell you lots developmentally about what your baby can do.

Gosh 7 pages - lots to catch up on - just a quickie to the toddler mums out there about Potty Training - am desperate to pt the dd before the babushka comes, any good reads you can recommend - am not particularly a Gina fan as am thinking it isn't practical to stay in for a week!

Got my consultant appointment on weds to discuss the whole elcs or vbac and pre eclampsia I presume! Still unsure what I want to do really...........

They're so little too when they're first born, and you don't have any 'training' you just get sent home with this little person who depends on you for everything! But you do pick it up very quickly but I agree with elusive, it took me 4 months to really get the hang of it. It was very difficult (ime) to start with for one reason or another but I did start to enjoy it and DD is just amazing now [boring over-devoted mother emoticon]

Doodleydoo - we sound in similar places...was trying to potty train dd3 but have given up till Easter. And am hoping to have VBAC with the added risk of very high BP but not pre-e (sorry of I have said this to your before....there are soo many people on here it is hard to keep up with everyone)

BigMuther I was so sorry to hear about your miscarriage - I hope that you are being well looked after. Take care of yourself

Hello to everyone new and if it's your first baby - Don't Panic! One bit of advice that I found helpful was to think of the first three months as the 'fourth' trimester.

I found it quite tough to adjust to being a Mum and being responsible for my tiny, precious DD but, with time, DH and I got the hang of it, got to know our DD and were able to get into our new swing of things. You can do it, just don't put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect or get it right first time all of the time. You will get there .

hello all
lovely to see some new joiners.
Bigmutha sorry doesn't cover it, you poor thing.
the rest of you very lucky ladies, don't worry about selfish friends - you really do make some of the best friends of your life through motherhood in my opinion. it's a common bond that all mums share, hence places like MN! you wont particularly want the company of your old friends with those attitudes once your baby comes along...that's not to say you wont feel hurt by them. i chose my BF as godmother as we had drifted apart during my pregnancy and i thought it would be a good way to keep close...she didn't see it as the honour i did and she's seen my DD about 3 times in 2 years and we rarely speak now. i am still a little bitter about it, but she's just found out she's pregnant and i can't help but hope she'll see things differently when she 'comes over' to our side!! (and that she has a really challenging baby!)
re the worries of how you'll cope with a little one, in my experience it was a few months later when it hit me like a ton of bricks that this baby was here for keeps...luckily that coincided with the time when i had started to master nappy changing and feeding, and now i swear i could change a nappy blindfolded with one hand whilst reciting nursery ryhmes!! if i can do it.... ;)

On another subject of change - does anyone have any experience or helpful suggestions on how I can adjust my cat to a little person in the house.

I will readily admit she has been totally spoilt. and I'm about to sound like a 2nd time mother trying to prepare her firstborn! I promise I'm not a total crazy cat lady!!!

We got her when she was very tiny - orphaned, hand reared and just about weaned off milk. She was still a baby baby and needed a lot of attention and I became her Mum. In many ways she is still very kitten like because she's never parted from "Mum" like most cats do. E.g. still snuggles up to me most of the time when she needs a sleep, still follows me around the house and never far from my feet, meows until picked up and cuddled like a baby while she purrs at you... etc.

Very needy - and as I've already admited, my own fault for spoiling her, but I couldn't resist the tiny thing and she became my "baby"! The last couple of weeks she has been especially clingy - its like she knows somethiing is different...

I don't believe she would hurt the baby when it is here, she is good natured and loves people. BUT you can never be too careful can you until I know I can trust her with baby and a case of jealousy wouldn't surprise me.

Oh Fiz is a housecat too so this house is her domain... I've already shut babies room door and she is no longer aloud in there so she has plenty of time to be used to that idea. (and lots of tellings of for scratching the carpet outside the door grrr!) Short of cutting all attention, which I think would be cruel considering she is a housecat and this is all she knows (almost 3 now) I can't think what else to do.... suggestions?

CazEm I am in the same position but I have 2 clingy, loving housecats. I read a tip about playing the sound of a baby crying to them before the little one arrives to get them used to the sound of it.

I expect my 2 to be really quite unsettled as they are very sensitive to change. But I am sure they will get used to the situation eventually!

Those of you with cat have a look at this here
You can get it at your vet and other places.

My cat wasnt impressed when we got another cat and started doing the loo all over the place. Couple of days with this and he was back to himself. Its not cheap but totally worth it. Im gonna be using it again when the babies arrive. I got the difusser so just need to buy a refill this time

Thats a good idea Vix - I will have to start doing that occasionally. I too am expecting Fiz to be quite unsettled and behaviour go downhill - probably have no sofas, carpets left through scratching in retailiation for making her share me etc! Haha but the cats have no choice to get used to the new situation eventually....

Thanks starshaker - that really looks worth a go too!!

Hello,
LCR don't worry at all - I was exactly the same - all family overseas and didn't have a clue! Got the book "what to expect the first year" and didn't even read past month one! It really does happen like they say - you really do figure it all out fast. And you can't really make big mistakes as they only really sleep, eat, change nappy for the first few months, so you've got plently of time to work it out and it's very gradual - it really won't be suddenly too hard all overnight.
Yummy I completely paniced about weight gain. I am normally quite slim usually but the minute I got a positive pregnancy test (last time and this time) I balooned. I felt like a whale and yet I still couldn't stop eating bad carbs etc to stave off morning sickness. Of course there was fat there for breast feeding stores that your body locks on to but also I was pleased that a lot of it was fluid which goes fairly quickly. it did all come off and it will - some just have to work harder than others, but the fact that you are so worried about it now means I bet anything you will have the determination to get it all off fast. feel free to vent / worry etc on here about all that because I'm sure most of us completely relate - well I know I do!

Oh and a meetup would be great! Who is near Surrey / London?! We still have meet ups with my group from ds1 with the group of us that still regularly post - it's been over 2 years now and our first one was at about 7 months pregnant! Right through until the lo's are now 14 months and still going strong!

Morning

I'd not even considered our cat in all this!! Ours can be very jealous - she doesn't like me anyway but she adores dh. If I happen to be snuggling dh and she can't get in then I get the claws....silly Whisper! We'll work on that one. She doesn't like me cos I'm the only one who reprimands her!!!

Got my consultant appointment today, pointless appointment cos it's not like they can tell me if baby's going to be early like dd. And last time when I was pregnant with ds they discharged me at 16wks into midwife led care - so whats the point?

oh well. Theres always delays too - was over an hour late going into the appointment last time . So who knows how long I'll be there - I've got a book ready just in case!

Have a good day everyone

The Feliway stuff does nothing for our cats I have to say, but I know some people find it helps a lot so worth a try.

Another suggestion I have read is that before letting the cats 'meet' the baby, give them some of his/her worn clothing to smell and touch, so that they have already been introduced to his/her scent. As all cat people know, smell is so important to them.

A few months ago we had friends to stay and they brought their 2 year old little boy who was adorable but very 'Rarrr' and into everything. Casper, our 7 y/o farm tabby spent the whole weekend cowering under our bed. Izzy, our 2 y/o crazy bengal thought he was great and loved having him around. She just wants to play all the time and isn't scared of anything or anyone, so she'll be okay I think but Casper I do worry about. Have to play it by ear I guess, just going to have to make sure they still get their fuss and attention from us when baby comes

LCR, if you plan to breastfeed I would definitely recommend reading as many books as you can about it (La Leche League books are very good). It's really important to understand how BFing works (eg the more your baby sucks, the more milk you will produce and it is normal for your baby to want to feed every 2 hours! etc). It is so easy to get despondent about BFing but if you read up on it you will be more ready to tackle any problems. When the DTs were born my motto was 'when it cries, feed it' and that pretty much worked for us!

For general baby care advice, Mirian Stoppard books are quite good and (whisper it) I loved Gina Ford's book. But you have to take all books with a pinch of salt, use them for ideas but don't beat yourself up if your baby doesn't do exactly what it says in the book. What to expect when you're expecting is good imo but many people hate it.

Potty training - my twins will be two in May so I was thinking of potty training them before this baby is born, but I think I will hold off cos I can just imagine sitting down feeding the new baby and getting 'mummy I need a wee' from one of the DTs! So I am going to keep them in nappies, unless they look really ready to train (and get the potty out themselves and get on it ).

At the booking in, I am sure my MW told me she didn't need to see me again till 24 wks. I'm not having the bloods done so maybe that's why. I am getting a bit worried about whether the baby will be OK ie Down's etc but I don't want to have the bloods cos I can't face all this 150:1 nonsense. And I wouldn't have an amnio. I'd rather just not know. I will just assume everything is OK and if it's not at the birth then I will deal with it then! Any baby will be loved anyway so I am trying not to think about it.

Morning everyone!

I haven't been on in a week, so much to catch up on! Welcome to the all the new people! DH went away yesterday, he is working away for the next 4 months, hoping to come back every second weekend so it is just me and DS for a while, at least my house will stay relatively tidy. Is anyone else still having morning sickness, I had it until 20 wks with DS hoping it will go away sooner this time