on the 1st day of christmas my true love sent to me a moosy and a baby

[tinkerbellstinkerbells]

new thread ladies

The sickness is a majort factor for me too CANT I would have to start ttc-ing spring time really, so that it doesn't interfere with work too much, so I suppose that would make it April 2011!!!

I know- it's a massive relief knowing DH is in agreement!! I knew i'd talk him down too!! Also he is a tad worried that with DC4 will come DC5... and 6,7,8 and so on... but i'm sure my body wont cope with much more... even wondering if i'll make it to the end of PG no4 in one piece, had SPD, Hyperemesis, prem baby & EMCS with DD2.... if i have that again i'll soooooo hate that 9mths of my life!! ...

gosh- did you just say a date then Diege??? Did ya? Did ya?... You did din't you!!!

Oh nooo!!!! . A date in a sort of 'if we did then it would probably be then that we'd start ttc-ing' way....Can I get away with that?

oh no- dont try and talk yourself out of it now... you know that now you've got a 'date' in your head, it sounds good!! You so know you're gonna have DC5!!!

Can i ask Diege? IF you were to have DC5 would you have an ELCS? or try VBAC? DS was your 1st CS wasn't he? how do you feel about going through that all again? How do you feel about the chances of a VBAC going 'wrong' and needing an EMCS?

LOL I was smiling all through reading that, DS1 is looking at me like I've gone mad... you'd think he'd be used to it by now!

Can't, Agree the Multipla looks odd, it reminds me of a grumpy old frog, the newer shape one hasn't got the bulgy "eyes" but still looks no better, but the practicality of the car far outweighs the looks.

Am purposfully staying jamma-clad till DH get's home, else if I was ready he'd be dragging us off out to look at cars and I can't be arsed today. We've got a saturday night' planned (i.e. we sit in the kitchen and drink and talk) am trying to decide whether or not to broach the DC4 conversation, I know he will say no, for all the right reasons, reasons which I am well aware of, and reasons as to why planning a fourth is bordering on just being silly, but at the same time, I want a baby. And I know how selfish that is. And I know it's not good. Think I just need for him to spell out exactly why we shouldn't, then maybe it will sink in. Then I go full circle and think if I'd not have lost this one, then right now I'd have been pregnant and we'd have had to face all the problems and we'd have done it.... it's just one huge fat circle, with me in the middle stamping my foot and sticking my bottom lip out shouting that I want one!

Oh before I go, conversation we DH had this morning: (DH needs to get up for work I'm zonked out, DS3 is in bed with us)

DH: "Nat, put your arm round Mikey please, I'm getting up"
Me: (not moved an inch) "Yeah I've got her." DH: "NAT, can you get Mikey, I need to get up."
Me: (still not moved) "Yes, I've got her" DH: "Her? What are you on about?"
Me: (still not moved) "Pepper Pig"
DH: "Nat, wake up, can you get Mikey, I need to go to work"

I have been thinking about that very thing CANT . I think I would def want to try for a VBAC. I had 3 normal deliveries (well, first ventouse)and the consultant thought ds was a ECS due to size/position and the 'badiel's ring thing on my cervix showed it was one of the rare 'pelvic/caephalic disproportion things. In that case (and I did ask) they'd look at VBAC as my body had 'proven' itself in the past, and this was really a size/position thing. Obviously if another big baby I'd think again, as I was 20 mins from uetrus rupturing which doesn't bear thinking about! What about you?

I'm shitting myself at the thought of another CS... almost so much that if i could look through time and see what happened, if it ended that way i'd be re-considering and probs not even go there... BUT i really do think i'll be fine for a VBAC- but sort of feel like i'm stupid for trying to 'kid myself' even thoguh i'm fully aware it could go either way!! also on top of that is the risks of another premmy- that was the toughest thing i've had to cope with as a mother, and i'm not sure how i'd cope with 3DC's at home and a tiny baby in SCBU needing me again...

Nat- you never know maybe DH feels the same since what yo've just gone through... maybe he's thinking the same as you? you never know till you ask?

LOL NAT at peppa pig . What time does dh leave and get back from work? I think that the dc4 conversation will raise its head again and tbh i think dh needs to know exactly how you feel. of course this doesn't mean you'll necessarily get a resolution, but if you have to stick at 3 then at least he will know what you feel. as i've said before things may well change. if you didn't have another do you have plans yourself for retraining etc that could maybe distract you? Is it my imagination or were you looking at interior design courses ( or was it midwifery?)

I know what you mean CANT. I would go for VBAC as the thought of another EMCS fills me with fear and dread, and of course a planned section would be pref to that, but would take vbac any day over elective section. I think they would monitor us very closely too (I had liked the idea of a home birth)so I suppose emcs more likely if signs of distress/obstuction. Getting a bit ahead of myself here .

Just realise that doesn't make much sense! Obviousl;y VBAC better than EMCS, meant VBAC over elective!

No, DH is the sort of person that even if he was desparate for another, because he knows we'd be quite tight money wise, he can just overcome any 'want's' to do the sensible thing. Which is very admirable. And very annoying

And yes Diege, the plan is when we move I'm going to start the ID diploma, should take about 2 years-ish (baring in mind I'll be doing it in the day while the kids are at home), which will take us nicely till when DS3 will be starting nursery so I'd actually be able to work as an ID. Still not decided whether to go it alone or try and get a job, luckily there are a couple of ID businesses close enough to travel to, but far enough away so that if I did start alone we'd not be in direct competition. I would love to be a midwife, but fear I do have a clouded view of what being a midwife would actually be like, and I don't think I could stand the level of broodiness, I'd be on constant maternity leave

Nat- my DH also is a little the same... but a bit of bottom lip treatment and ear bashing about how we would cope and what we'd do etc and i always win!!

Diege- i know exactly what you mean, i dont wanna go into pregnancy just feeling fear about the coming birth if i chose ELCS. At least going into it thinking i'll do my damned hardest for a VBAC, if it goes pear shaped i'll deal with it when the time comes, and at the end of the day i know that a couple of weeks afterwards all would be fine and well and i'd have a lovely baby that'd make it all so worthwhile...

Oh I could do the twisting round my little finger, and it works, but I couldn't do it about having baby, he'd either want another or not, and I wouldn't be about to try and guilt him into it. Whereas whether or not we have takeaway for dinner tonight is a completely different matter Although it's not as fun as it used to be, I'd say I fancy chinese, he'd say no, and then I'd spend the next 15 minutes working on him till he agreed, now he seems to have given up, I mention takeaway he says no, I say nothing, half an hour later he'll bring the menus in. No where near as much fun!

I take it with you both speaking about VBAC's that CS's deffo aren't the 'easy' option? I am quite curious about EMCS's and ECS's, possibly because I don't know a single person who has had one (well not known them well enough to ask them about it!), and yet they seem to be all over MN.

Honestly Nat- it was my hell- I'd rather give birth naturally 10x over than go through that again. I mean she is sooooo worth it, but nothing can describe just how painful it was for me, i dont wether it'd have been made easier or harder if she'd been full term either. I mean on one hand i didn't have to fully care for her like i'd have to if she was full term, but i felt i had to get walking etc so i could go and see her without having to be wheeled over when someone had the time to... so i did push myself. I also had to be expressing every 3hrs, aswell as seeing her, and fitting the other Dc's in there aswell... BUT the pure pain of my wound was bloody awful. not to mention the blimin blood thining jabs they gave me for 5 days afterwards- they stung like a bitch and i creid every time!!

Oh... and i now feel like i must sound like a meany on my DH- like i've guilted him into it...

Disclaimer- DH's reservations on having DC4 were purely about money and the house size... he doesn't actually care how many DC's we have, as long as we can support them and give them what they need... of which making sure the house is sorted before TTC deminishes the house size problem as the DC's would have their own rooms etc, and the money is something he's ALWAYS worrying about- BUT thats purely because he doesn't do any of our budget, i say we're 'tight this month' he thinks we've got no money... what i mean is i've allocated cash for everything we need/want to do within that month and we dont have squillions to fritter on take-aways and clothes shopping... I do the budget and he just gets told basically!!

Sounds like the course plans are good NAT although you could do that and have dc4 too?? I was also going to suggest the bottom lip treatment with dh - I mean it's not as if you'd be putting it on is it? Is he really as dead set against it as you think?
I agree CANT. I'd rather look forward to a VBAC than have the dread of a section hanging over me, and then if it ended up that way I'd just have to deal with it. NAT, IMO (and lots of people differ)a section is def worst case scenario. I can't think why anyone would choose an elective. The recovery is awful, and tbh I recovered quicker after a 3rd degree tear with dd2 than the section. I'm sure an elective would be slightly easier recovery wise (ie, not having 10 hours of labour leading up to it) but would always wonder if it had been the right decision.

Sorry Don't, didn't mean for one minute you had guilted him into it, I meant if I did it to my DH it would be being 'guilted into it', he doesn't want anymore, if he did want more and was just concerned about circs then I'd have him saying yes by the end of the day.

I think I will tell him tonight, but not so that he turns around and says yes, just so he knows, I've been a bit of a cowbag these last couple of weeks, not to him as such, just not been very full of the joys of spring etc. At least if I tell him he'll know it's not him!

Right, he is home now, I am going to go and get showered, in fact might get in a nice long bath with my book. Have lovely weekends everyone xxx

Nat- didn't think you were saying i'd guilted him into it- but thoguht i'd make sure anyone that may possibly stumble accross this didn't think i was a 'cowbag' (as you so nicely put it) for making him have another DC. And it's expected you'll be up and down with hormones afterwhat you've just gone through. Maybe telling him might make you feel better, maybe he'd realise that you were going to ahve a DC4 and all was going to be ok and you would have coped and been fine... maybe he'd then feel a DC4 isn't SUCH a bad thing IYGWIM?.... anyway, enjoy your bath!!

Diege- i also recovered easier with 3rd deg tear with DS than with CS. I also had the biggest fear of having the staples out... but they were better than expected, if i were to have another CS in the end i'd defo request staples again as i'm now scared of the pain pulling stitches out might give me... basically- if i have the pain i suck it up and deal with it like i did with DD2... but i'd be bricking it all the time while PG about the potential pain of it.... whereas a VB just seems soooooooooo much easier, much less painful, and easiest to get over by a long shot!!

Staples?? Now that sounds painful! I had dissolveable stitches, so no worries about having them taken out. They just sort of disappeared. Agree, the pain of the wound is unimaginable - didn't realise you had had a 3rd degree too - walk in park compared to section eh!
NAT. bath and book is bliss. I shouldn't complain as dds away, but ds is being stubbornly demanding. I'd take him out but am clad in very clingy trackie bottoms, a filthy sweatshirt and greasy ponytail. May pull on a coat and hope for the best, but no doubt will meet someone I know!
Oh and stupid student has just blown his chances on a paper. Just finished marking it (pretty crap anyway) and saw a plea foe leniency complete with phone number and prospect of bribe . I know they're just kids, but this will now have to be 'investigated'. Second time this has happened, and I know the school gets a bollocking!

the staples weren't as painful as it sounds... i wasn't even aware it was staples till day 2!! i imagined it'd just be sewn up, but no- it looked like something out of a horror story but i'm led to believe it can leave a much stronger 'heal' because it 'grabs' your wound and heals it together much stronger and deeper than just stitches.

The 3rd degree tear was bad, stung like a bitch when i had to pee and the stitches were supposed to be disolvable but then had to be removed after about 3 weeks when they'd not 'fallen' out on their own- hurt so much having them out, but i'd sooooooooo much prefer to do that again than CS. Plus because they only decided it was a 3rd degree tear while stitching me up and realising how bad it was. For the first hour they thought i didn't even need any stitches, took 4 men with shovel-like hands prodding about to decide i actually had torn... i wasn't numb to the pain at all by time they started stitching, was on gas and air only i think as they began thinking it'd only be a few (only for it to end up at well over 100) had to suffer 1hr45mins of stitching, high on G&A and almost certain queen's radio gaga was playing on the radio for over an hour, and having my PFB sneezing in his cot in the corner of the room, trying to launch myself off the bed everytime i heard a sneeze- causeing disruption to the stitching etc- must have been a picture!!..... but give me ALL of that any day over my CS!!!

haha- forgot to say the bribe sounds intruiging!!! poor boy thinks he's gonna get a top notch mark and a horny teacher calling him too!!

Right- i'm gonna stop neglecting my DC's turn the PC off and go put them for naps and DVD's in their bedroom so maybe i can have some peace and quiet with DD2. Though if she has a nap too that'd be ideal seeing as i only got 6hrs sleep between DD2's teething keeping her up till midnight and my strange early morning waking!!

. He'd also done a little picture of himself with a happy face . Oh yes, get me that phone
Your stitches sound worse than mine. Like you, the 3rd degreeness of the tear only became apparent on stitching (they thought borderline initially) but it was done so quickly I didn;t feel much. Remember Corrie being on in background and chatting away, so couldn't have been that bad. Oh for a 3rd degree tear!
Ds is teasing me...still asleep and I'll have to wake him any minute for his bottle (damn you Gina). Have now decided I NEED chocolate topped muller light yogurt so will have to walk to the shops..