Due January 06 - Thread 2

[hotmama1]

Thanks girls, for letting me start this thread - bloody MACs (obviously could be user error!)

Went to the docs yesterday and he thinks may be a Feb 1st baby - but 2nd babies are often early - hope they are as dd was 9 days late - hence I am in the Oct rather than Sept post-natal thread!

Hope to hear from the midwife soon as I will want to book a CVS as I am now 38 - had one with dd last year.

Has anyone got a closer age difference that I will hopefully have - there will only be nearly 16 months between dd and dd2/ds - eeeek!

Welcome to all the other newies

Oh, I'm gutted for you Milosmum . What an awful wait for you - I presume it is too early to scan you now? It's good news that you haven't had any pain and that the bleeding has stopped, I think if I were you I'd get a couple of sensitive tests (maybe not clearblue digital - it seems somehow to be less sensitive because it gives a definitive answer) and do them yourself with early morning urine over the next couple of days. False negatives are common and tests can be erratic depending on how sensitive they are. I know it sounds crazy but Poundland have tests for a pound and they are very sensitive and can give a positive result before a missed period. Take care of yourself!

Hi there. Been away for a couple of days and just logged back on. Milosmum, am so so sorry to hear your bad news. I really hope that is turns out to be a scare and that everything is OK. Am keeping fingers crossed for you. Please let us know if there's anything that we can do.

Can anyone tell me whether you have to have all these tests. Wil be 35 i a couple of weeks and know that my chances of having a Down's baby etc increase.

How's everyone else? Anyone's sickness slowing down? Feel like I'm chained to the bathroom at the moment.

Hello to all the newbies.

MM - Sorry to hear your news - hope there is still hope!

Georgiem - you don't have to have any tests or scans that you don't want to have - I understand that this also includes the detailed scan. I hope I haven't worried you with my post on CVS and amnios - really didn't mean to!

Don't feel pressured to do anything that you don't want to do - tbh my midwife last time with dd didn't try to pressure me but was good at giving me both sides etc.

Cheers for that HM1. Am trying to get head around what happens over here as DD born in New York and used to pushy Yank way of doing things! They push amnio when you're 30 over there.... Amd of course you haven't worried me. Am one of these people that thinks, 'fore warned is fore armed'. The more info the better.

And to answer one of your earlier threads. Am suprised at reaction of one of my friends when I told her I was pg. She's slowly freezing me out. Feel v hurt. Can understand in a way because she's been trying to get pg for a while, and I get pg by mistake (albeit a lovely one). But feel as if being penalised for being pg. She's done nothing overtly nasty.... but know that something has changed. My spiders enses are tingling.

Coo, sorry about that. Looks like I had to get that off my chest. Flipping pg hormones turning me into paranoid wreck!

Georgie you don't have to have any tests here if you don't want to.
There was a post last week about somebody telling their friend that they were pregnant and their friend had been ttc. She is probably feeling jealous and hurt (but happy at the same time) which is hard to deal with. If she is a really good friend I'd bring up something with her and say that you can understand that is must be hard for her that you are pregnant but that her friendship is important to you and you can understand if she needs some time (or something like that).
We are allowed to be emotional!!!!

Milosmum xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Chuffed. That's really good advice. I'm seeing her tomorrow, so will gently raise subject with her and try and clear the air. Think I'm just feeling a little sorry for myself as so damn sick at the moment. But hey, the end result is worth every trip to the loo!

I'm feeling so much worse than I did with dd.
No sickness but have had a few 'dodgy coughs' while walking along the road. Especially when somebody lights up a cigarette in front of me.
Finding it a bit confusing actually in that you are supposed to be sick with girls, was 95% fine with dd so going by the old wives tales I'm having another girl but why didn't I feel like this with dd.

how are you doing milosmum?

Going by your old wives tale, it looks like this will be a girl as well. Poor dp, he sooo wanted a boy! Now he (might) be out numbered 3 to 1! Mind you, my mu said that I've always been a vomming sort of girl, so who knows!

Chuffed, was just wondering the same as you re: Milosmum. Anyone heard anything? Was thinking aobut her all last night and hoping that all well.

Morning everyone, I'm just waiting for the midwife to turn up - GeorgieM I'm 35, 36 in July and want the info on testing but I'm becoming increasingly sure that I don't want the invasive one or anything that makes me worry!

Feeling really down this morning about a friend - I will put something on the relationships thread when I get a chance.

I have been sick with all of mine - 2 ds and a dd so far! I really could never tell, not from symptoms, bumps, heartrate, timing of conception etc

Still crossing fingers for you Milosmum!

Rachey - thought you might be interested to know that it's Downs awareness week next week. Thomcat (MN'er) was talking about it on the radio this morning, as she has a 3 year old daughter with Downs. She said that it really doesn't matter about the Downs - it just means that her daughter will take a little longer to get to the same stage as other children, but she is still devoloping and doing just fine.

If you're not keen on testing, then it's something else to bear in mind, that it wouldn't be so bad even if you did have a baby with Downs. Here's a link to a chat about the radio programme - am sure Thomcat would be happy to answer any more questions that you have.

Downs conversation

MM - If you are watching, I hope you are O.K.

Personal choice re testing or not to test etc - but being an older mum makes it more difficult doesn't it - I'll be nearly 39 when dd2/ds is born (crossed fingers)

Last time, I felt sicky from weeks 6 to 10 but wasn't actually sick. Felt a bit sick at the weekend but have felt O.K. for the last few days.

'Knew' I was having a girl lastime as I had sex a day before ovulation - therefore more likely to be a girl - and I was right. This time, I thought I was safe as I thought I was a couple of days after ovulation - wrong - hence I am on this thread! Could have been ovulating a bit later - may be a boy - time will tell - just want everything to be O.K.

Thanks for the info Tabs, I will have a listen now. I'm not frightened by DS - my sil's sister has it and I my next door neighbours have DS! (they live with 24hr carers). I have just seen my midwife, really positive and has referred me for dating scan thank goodness. She is also really pro-home births, I only live 10 mins away so am definitely going to consider it. Apart from blood tests and a 20 wk scan, I won't see her again until I'm 21 wks which feels weird!

Hotmama - I used NPF for a couple of years, got very in tune with my cycle - I took a chance and didn't wait the 3 days after ovulation and dd was conceived - according to the conception theory - she should have been a boy!

Have had down news from a friend in a similar situation - posted it on the relationships thread if anyone is interested.

horseshoe,

Just checking up to see how you are doing?? Hope all is well.

Minnie1

Hey Rachey. Great news about the midwife visit and the home birth. Was considering a water birth... anyone else had one or had a friend that's had one?

Tabs, thanks for the heads up about DS.

My sister (a midwife) had a water birth in hospital and then one at home, she thought they were fab - had no pain relief and no stitches (but she is a different shape to me...). I have had awful labours but all interventionist/induced which just sets off a chain reaction of more interventions. Midwife said if I was overdue she would come and do a cervical sweep at home to try and start me off, that I could stay at home as long as I liked and could go in to hospital at any time if she or I thought it necessary (luckily only 10 mins away). Apparently we also have new midwife led birthing unit with pools etc at the hospital. I do think if a baby came naturally of their own accord I could cope better - I'm feeling optimistic!

Blimey, water birth sounds blissful. Had epidural which they forgot to top up, episiotomy and ventouse (sp?) with DD. One OBGYN pushing on my tummy and another with his foot on my ass (felt like!) pulling DD out. Screamed place down and added a few v English expletives into the mix to shock their Yanky ears!

Am keen for things to go diff this time!

I've had forceps with a local (ouch) + episotomy for ds1, a 2 degree tear with ds2 and a face presentation (double ouch) with dd - however the epidural with dd was fab! it only worked on my pelvis (total bliss, could feel contractions but they didn't hurt) and I could feel to push. I think I have two plans a) hope everything goes smoothly and quickly and have babe at home and b) any delay/problems, get in the car and have epidural in hospital! I think if I can avoid being induced I might have a chance - I love the thought of sleeping in my own bed with dp and with nice food clean bathroom and family all around. I think I'm a bit bipolar today...

That is really good news Rachey, it is great when you feel empowered and the team help you feel like that.
Georgie I was going to have a waterbirth with dd but had increased bleeding before getting to 5cm and therefore couldn't go in.
There are tons of threads on them on mumsnet some people love them, others didn't - purely personal I think and down to the moment.

Hi, I've been away for a while as DH is ill with an infection from his op and ds has been very sniffly as well.

Milosmum, I have been thinking of you, I hope you are okay. It's our worst fear and we're all hoping to read some good news. I know you're probably nowhere near me (Farnborough) but if there's anything you need, don't hesitate to ask.

Finally, my parents know about bub and I cried myself to sleep last night because of their reaction. They love ds and I'm sure they'll be just as crazy about db but for now they are to worried to be able to bring up any enthusiasm, They're worried because of dh's health issues (had mole on leg, turned out to be cancerous, has had big op to remove it but we don't get test results for another 2 weeks). I can nderstand that they are worried and it's not for no reason - it is entirely possible that dh may need further treatment or that things go completely wrong with him but we decided that that was no reason to deny ds a brother or sister. We are so excited but talking to my parents last night really put me down. I'm sure they will come round, especially if we get some good results in 2 weeks' time. We just believe that you can't sit around waiting for things to go wrong, it's best to strive after our ideals. Luckily dh's family are all very supportive and understand our way of thinking.

About various tests etc, I never had anything done with ds so I can't add any personal insights but it made me think of my Israeli friend who says that in Israel they treat pg women as if they're ill and they do amnio on everyone! Can you believe that? I haven't researched it so don't pin me down on it but I just think it's too crazy for words. Even if it's only 50% true! I hope no-one here was planning on moving to Israel any time soon.

I was hoping for a water birth with DS but despite an induction and super strong contractions I was not dialating properly so I never made it to the 5cms that they had set as the minimum before I could get in. Instead I opted for an epidural (best invention ever!) and ended up with a C-section for failure to progress and bub being in distress. This time around I would love to try a water birth but I'm also much more realistic about the chances of me asking for an epidural at the first signs of a proper contraction

Eshay hugs - that must be so tough. Something I am personally terrified of as I have tons of moles and being from NZ have had tons of exposure to sun with no ozone layer.
You are right you can't sit back and wait for the worst, there are so many things that they can do now to delay and fix cancer. Your parents will love your new little one dearly they will just be worried about you spreading yourself thin.

Hi,

just wondering when you told people about being pg.

I am really close to my sister and she knew about my last pg from 4 weeks, and my mum from 5 weeks. When I had m/c at 11 wks we told close family, friends and work as it seemed to huge at the time not to.

Now I am 6wks and we agreed not to tell anyone since we don't want them worrying about us. I am partly enjoying our 'little secret' but part of me thinks my sister will be gutted when she realises I didn't tell her...

Eshay, am sending you HUGE hugs for your dh and your bub-in-waiting. It constantly suprises me that people can do things that are so insensitive. Your decision to have a another bub was yours and dh's to make, no one elses. A little bit of support wouldn't go a iss in times like these, and you'd think that your folks would give it to you in spades. Plus, our parents generation aren't known for their touchy feely nature! Maybe they see the glass as half empty instead of half full?

Teuch - told family at 6 weeks. A few friends at 7 weeks as puking gave the game away. Am trying to keep stuhm with everyone else until 12 weeks though.

Eshay - I agree with everything GeorgieM and Chuffed have said, people don't always mean to be insensitive - Best wishes for DH recovery and I bet your pregnancy is something positive for him to focus on.

So far (9wks) only bf and dp know. Have now told dp parents (and hence whole family!). Want to tell my mum (and hence my whole family) face to face the weekend after next (expecting worried reaction!). Think I would want all of these people to know if I had mc anyway. Have held off on telling local friends here because I'm waiting for a scan to tell my kids (they are more interested in the puppy we're getting!).

told dh and my family at about it about 30mins after positive pregnancy test. Have told my 2 best friends and that is it. Our families are in NZ and so I wanted to tell my friends here so that I had support if something happened.
One of the girls at dd's nursery has guessed...but she is sworn to secrecy. I'm sure people at work are suspicious and won't be surprised. Am finding it really hard to keep quiet though.