Due Jan 2010....watching our beans grow into babes!

[dal21]

Hello all! Thought I would start this off as our existing thread is full!

well yesterday was a bad day for me. DD has her sports day today and yesterday i cried all day cos nobody at the nursery talks to me and i just feel really alone. Didnt realise how much i hate being on my own all the time. This is the first time ive been single in about 10 years and its hard. not that i want another man but a friend who came round and i could talk to would be nice.

Morning all
londonlottie your post really made me smile I am a twin.

Well I'm 11 weeks today and the bloatedness seems to have gone down but the constant nausea is still here.
Really can't relax until I have a scan so still keeping it quiet.

I am sorry to say that having had blood tests 48hours apart showing 1024 going down to 840, I will be leaving this group, but the list needed updating with the losses, being moved from the list, I hope you don't mind, I just put us at the bottom for one last time.

? londonlottie - early cos it's twins! (1st baby) - London SE5/SE22
1 singalongamumum (DS 18mth)
1 pepa (DS 3.5, DD 18mth) Toronto, Canada
1 Alibobins (DS5 DD9)
1 liny
1 ClaireDB (1st baby)
2 Lisylou1980
3 salvadory (1st Baby)
4 kittykat765 (DS 19mth) Bristol
5 gizzy1973 (1st baby)
5 Dizzyclarebear (1st baby) - SE london
5 timmette (DS 3)
6 oomska (DD 13mo)
7 Zen1980 (1st baby?)
7 marmitemonster (2nd DC)
8 STA1mum (DS15mth)
10 lizzylu (DS 14mths)
10 lilacpink (DD 3)
10 AmyLou32
10 Somewhathorrified
11 Katiei (DS)
11 anastaisia (dd b2005)
12 TheKurgan (1st baby)
12 roastbeef
13 skidoodle (DD 13mo)
13 LessThenIdeal
13 Sleepingalot, Sheffield
15 lynchy09 (DS14mth)
15 Sersi (DS1 6, DS2 4) HERTS
15 Worriedunfortunately (DD 4y)
15 Starshaker (DD 4)
16 DesertFairy (DD3)
16 ampster (DS 11mo)
16 bluespix, Oxford
16 ILoveDolly
17 slightlybonkers (DS 3yo)
17 MrsStripey (DS15mo)
17 Liskey (1st baby)
18 alfiesmadmother (DS1 7,DS2 5 and DS3 3)
18 dal21 (DS 20 mths)
20 sooooexcited (DS 2)
20 showmethemummy (2 DCs)
21 quirkychick (DD 3.5) Norfolk
23 AutumnAir (1st baby)
24 Blocka (DD 32mo), North East
24 totalmisfit (DD 3.3), Norfolk
24 Laura233
24 FlightofFancy
24 coffeeicecream (DS 9mo), NW London
25 Noodlesforbreakfast
26 Biccy (DD 3)
27 sazlocks (DC 16mo)
29 VivClicqot (1st baby) - Manchester
29 helenabeth (DS1 4.5, DS2 20mths)
29 Mowmi (1st baby) Surrey
30 nervoussara, Brighton
30 (or thereabouts!) anniemac (DD 4)
31 laurawantsababy (DD 11mo)
31 IrrationalMother (DS 18mo)
[?] Miss Chatterbox (DD1 4 DD2 2)
[?] Beanz2 (DS 13mo)
[?] Fififorgot, South

The ones that have lost their little ones:
16 beanieb
20 coffeeandcarrotcake
20 Rainbowdays

Morning everyone,

sleepingalot & londonlottie - so glad you both had good scans yesterday. it was a good day for scans on this thread.
londonlottie - your DH is absolutely right about the glamorous mum thing and he sounds lovely.

crumpette - I was catching up and I wondered what on earth was going on with all your posts being deleted. your work traumas sound awful - good luck with whatever you decide to do.

starshaker - sorry you had such a downer. a lot of the mums round here are very cliquey and rarely talk to me. I don't worry as tbh they're all a bit "stepford wives" and I have no desire to be assimilated!!! you do feel very conspicous though in those situations - its very isolating. is there any folk you could invite to join a book club or something like that? - its a regular thing and quite informal - good for a natter.

so sorry rainbowdays - my thoughts are with you and coffeeandcarrotcake & beanieb

sorry to hear that rainbowdays mm that is outrageous that they were hacking into your emails, surely that is a breach of privacy? that has got to be illegal as is opening up poet addressed to another? especially in your line of work that is terrible.

had a barny with dp last night as he is still pestering me about ex partners from years ago as he found addresses on my msn even though i deleted them how was i to know they were just deleted from my msn chat and not completely so i said that even though there is a baby on the way and he has trust issues then maybe he should f* off! he left last night and has tried texting but i have said it is over. bit drastic but he is pissing me off with his insecurities that i am gong to run off with another man! yeah right baby on the way and two kids already who are still babies themselves and i thought that getting pregnant and soon to move in with him would be enough proof that i am committed!! am i over exaggerating??

somewhathorrified do get a net. i used one. females tend to stay away but males can be bold. both of mine are great as they stay away but have been known to curl up and actually seek cuddles from ds. i must warn you that on several occasions i have caught my cat asleep in the cot luckily the baby was not in it and another time i was co sleeping and my female cat had managed to squeeze herself in between me and baby! luckily everything was ok so now they are not allowed in bedrooms just like the dogs now.
if your cats are not neutered i suggest you do esp the males as they have been known to spray at babies and get very territorial. luckily my male cat just fights the other toms and does not bring violence into the home!

Hi crumpette like the name - sorry to hear your troubles - I can't believe people would be so low and sneaky - well I can but it's still shocking.

londonlottie my partner has the same attitude and when I get depressed about it says well you're obviously sexy or you wouldn't be pregnant would you - lol.

rainbowdays really sorry about your loss.

Well the in laws are arriving later today so I have been on a cleaning mission and am now a bit tired and shaky - I think a baguette is called for.

Hi all, thought I would send through an update. Following a successful scan last week, I had more bleeding in the week so had another scan this morning. Heart beat very slow and got lots of sympathetic patronising smiles from nurses and Doc at epu. Now need to wait another week for another scan to find out whats going on. Am super miserable today. Dragged myself to work, but already two people have asked me if I'm OK so I'm obviously looking pretty rough.
Sorry to be a downer as we go into the weekend. I'm hoping the sun will shine at this mini music festival we're going to tomorrow and that will perk me up!
Hope you all have wonderful weekends. xxx

Rainbowdays - am so very sorry to hear your news.

Londonlottie - I totally agree with your DH. Your priority right now is staying in tip top shape for your beans. Gaining weight is par for the course in pregnancy. And do you know what? Every bit you gain, can come off afterwards. It just takes healthy eating once they are out and you'll be fine. Not one of my friends/ colleagues who have had bubs have had trouble getting back to pre baby weight - and we all gained anywhere from 2 stone to 4 1/2 stone each!
Please, please, please enjoy you pregnancy and dont let this take away from it!

Starshaker - sorry you are feeling down. I hope you dont mind me asking, but with everything going on right now; have you talked to your GP about how you are feeling? I know things must be really tough - but I just want you to make sure that this isnt touching on antenatal depression. I hope you dont think I am out of order for asking. But there is so much support and help out there if you are feeling constantly down.

Bethoo - sorry to hear about your argument. Is there any reason your DP is so insecure?

Bluespix - sorry to hear you are in limbo land. Did they say anything aside from the patronising/ sympathetic smiles?

Hi

Sorry to hear the news about unsuccessful scans ladies - I went through it myself last year after an early bleed and was then diagnosed with a mmc later - I am so sorry to hear that your going through it.

Not sure what's been going on with your emails Marmitemonster but I do work in IT. Its written into a lot of company policies that if an email account is supplied by the company than it is not an individual's account but the companies and they do have the right of access. Not sure if this is the case with you? Even so you should be able to set up a private folder I would think that the company can't access? Or set up a hotmail etc account?

my gp tried to talk me into an abortion so dont particularly want to speak to him about being down iykwim. i think its the hormones but i do think i need to speak to somebody as i have a few issues that i need to deal with. feel a bit better today and dd came first im all her races so was very pleased lol

Hi everyone, have not been able to get to the PC for a while, so just been catching up.

Rainbowdays I'm so sorry to hear your news.

And Bluspix, the limbo must be horrible. Fingers crossed for you.

londonlottie, I think it is really normal to have wobbles about how your body is going to look during pregnancy. It just gets so out of your control and sometimes you love your bump, and sometimes you just want 'your' body back. However much you want your babies, it's still really hard giving so much of yourself. But, as dal said, you do get your body back - in fact I know quite a lot of people who've ended up thinner than before the pregnancy.

starshaker, do you have a good health visitor? Mine is really lovely, and I would definitely feel I could turn to her if my gp was a no-go.

iate, well done for calming yourself down; I really understand where you're coming from - as soon as your symptons change you can just panic, but I expect everyone is experiencing peaks and troughs in their symptons. Hope you get your scan date through soon.

crumpette, I don't know exactly what's been going on, as I missed the missing posts (before they were missing), but I gather it can't be nice...

bethoo, why can men be so desperately insecure? They can put on such a front of, well, manhood, that you can forget they often need as much, if not more, reassurance that you love them... hope it sorts its self out soon.

Just took a call from one of the midwives as I was writing this post and have my booking in appointment for next week. Has made me go all wobbly.

ive just moved house so dont know my health visitor and ive only met the stand in midwife

Really pleased that all is ok iateallthecreameggsyummy

londonlottie lovely to hear about your bubbas - they'll be worth a little bit of weight gain and your DH is absolutely right - the likes of these skinny 'stars' don't spend much time with their children when they are born anyway - they pay someone else to!

rainbowdays so sorry to hear your sad news.

crumpette hope your day was ok...at least it's the weekend now.

Bluspix I really hope eveything is okay, the waiting is not easy, you're in my thoughts.

bethoo hope you and dp can sort things out.

bethoo sorry to hear about the barny the only positive I can mention on this is that he's scared to lose you, that's why he over-reacted. However annoying it is it can be sorted out if you talk to him about it calmly. If you want to ofc. Also thanks for the advice. I have 1 male cat and 2 females and tbh I'm more concerned about one of the females than the male, he's what we call a kiddie cat (never uses claws and loves been pulled about - neutered ofc). One of the females is daddy's little baby, so I'm thinking she's gonna have displacement issues. But yeah, I agree, I think a cat net or 6 is gonna be essential.

yes! No more torture til MOnday! whooo!

I have returned (dashes in in cloaked disguise like zorro-emoticon)

So, all week I had been logged out of my personal emails (Liskey it's gmail, not my work one) and the message that somebody else had logged in popped up. This only started happening after I started back at work last week. My colleagues were being pr*ts and the managers/directors exceptionally frosty (especially given the recent tragic events which Ive ranted about on here before, sorry), so yesterday I logged into one of my accounts (I have a few) and my emails had vanished.. so I went about reporting it to gmail and got directed to the section where you can view what IP addresses have accessed it and what time. So there I had it in black and white, their IP address through an external agent in manchester linking back to london.

Great! On my emails were general confessions to select friends who live in canada telling them I am pregnant and a rant about what work had been like since my return (all the insane comments I mentioned on here) and of course my MN details were on my emails etc.

So I realised that all of my accounts were compromised, my personal accounts, but have now updated my antivirus, changed passwords/security questions, changed my MN identity (lol) and .. I am back! yay

I asked MN to delete my posts on the old thread as I thought they made me very identifiable (describing unusual events with dd, my location, my work etc, oh and referring to them as a total bunch of tits) but MNHQ went mad and deleted everything!!!

so funny. So yeah, I wasn't insulting anyone!

I have since done some research and found that it is illegal to intercept private emails and if they are to intercept anything I need to be fully informed in advance/ fully informed of this policy. Basically everything they've done is totally unlawful atm which for a legal bunch is a bit silly.

DP is ironically lawyer who has done lots of employment law in the past...mwahahaa.

So, work is horrid and frosty and I haven't told them I am pregnant yet as I hadn't planned to tell them for a long time but now they know anyway.

They are still intercepting work emails and diverting any deleted items etc, but I don't mind that so much, and my emails on my personal accounts simply stated factual events since my return to work, which are quite grim reading.

Anyway sorry for messing up the new thread!

dal21 thank you for your advice, I haven't decided yet. I am somewhat better than my immediate colleagues at what I do (ha) so I don't think they could legitimately make me redundant but I have a feeling they'll try. I left work today to evening standard posters saying 'massive redundancies in city law firms' everywhere I looked-aaaargh!

londonlottie I am loving hearing about your waving little teddy bear beans, how utterly sweet is that???!!

Re the figure issue, you won't believe me but having had dd I can say that I am smaller now than before I had her- and I don't really care about it. Once you start getting more of a bump I think part of you may start to like your changing shape. It's not all downhill and stretch marks- I didnt get any with dd, and I stayed quite a bit bigger until I stopped breastfeeding her (which is the opposite to what I thought) anyway, hormones are mad in pregnancy and you may have a few days when you feel super sexy and Im sure DH would welcome it, but equally it's fine to feel rubbish. You are growing 2 whole new fantastic people- don't set any targets or standards for yourself. Everyone is different and you are having twins and your health and their health is the most important thing. Sorry to preach! Get me I am hopeless anyway whatever happens you won't end up looking like octomum nadya suleman (now that is wrong!)

bethoo my DP is like that, randomly, a bit jekyll and hyde. I have put up with it for 3/4 years now but it's still just as grating. I understand entirely, but it sounds like he is insecure. Has he been cheated on in the past? It's not fair on you to have to pay the price for any past relationship troubles and he will have to come to realise this and moderate it. I am a fine one to talk DP still picks randomly fights about a boyfriend I had at 17 (because he managed to acquire my number and rang me once) and a fling I had before we met- when he was with somebody else himself- somewhat ridiculous!!!

Rainbowdays I am so sorry to read your news, here I am talking about my employer and I didn't realise. I am so so sorry for your loss, it's just not fair
Sending you giant virtual hugs. Please come back and drop in whenever, let us know how you are? I don't like not knowing you are ok. I know that there are some good threads on here for losses too. I'm so sorry xxx

ps lottie don't know if my post made sense above, I do get what you mean, I currently feel like my body shape resembles a half cooked yorkshire pudding (not nice!) and seeing as all I have been eating is crumpets, chips, more chips, DP disaster chips, chip shop chips, er, crumpets, and chocolate muffins then I see absolutely no improvement! I think basically the next year of your life will be about nurturing your babies, eating whatever you feel like really, and not feeling any pressures to look or act a certain way. Hormonally you won't 'feel' like you, I'd say for about 10-12 months after they are born anyway, and you really have got to remember that you are stunning, beautiful, not big (I saw your pics!!), if anything you are voluptuous and you are cooking not one but two very cute intelligent babies in there.

Not that that random rant helps but yeah- I know what I mean

rainbowdays I'm sorry to hear your news. I hope you have support in RL, and recommend the MC section on MN for support too.

bluespix hope you've had some more positive news.

starshaker is your DD going to a new school? (I know you said you'd moved). Perhaps you could ask your DD if there are a couple of friends she'd like to invite back for tea (or lunch/park at weekend)? Then you can chat to the Mums at 'pick-up' time and you would know a few friendly faces. I've been going to one group for awhile with DD (going around 2yrs now) but it took at least 2 months to fit in. A few times since there have been new Mums who have been quieter and I've tried to talk and say hello, but I think that they could be a bit more open to saying hello to others around them too. Sorry if that sounds patronising, with my group I really did have to 'work' to find Mums I had something in common with, and I had some stoney faces when I said hello that made me want to shrivel up and disappear! Now I have friends I see weekly through group, but we also meet up outside too. I have more in commom with them than my non-Mum friends now.

Your clinic reception may be able to tell you the detals of the local Health visitors, so you could phone and check without speaking to your doc. Or if you phone your clinic, you may be able to ask to have an appoint with another doc, e.g. say female doc for female reasons?

I've had periods of feeling v. lonely, and know it can feel like it won't end (DH and I split up for awhile). The 'relationship' section on here helped me a bit.

oh Rainbow I'm so, so sorry. I really hoped this would have a happy ending for you. Hope to see you with good news very soon. Take care of yourself x