Due Jan 2010....watching our beans grow into babes!

[dal21]

Hello all! Thought I would start this off as our existing thread is full!

Good sunny morning,
As this is my first, I'm a bit of a loss about classes etc.. Been googling and there is soooo much out there. Which is good, but makes it hard to choose.
I'm thinking about an elective cesearean, just because 6 years ago when I was pregnant before there were problems with scans and had to end preg at 19 weeks. Baby would not have survived birth. Anyway, not putting a downer on anything I was induced and had 16 hr labour in my local maternity hospital. I don't want to have negative associations with this birth so thought might be the right solution.
What does that mean re NCT and birth classes? I still want to meet people, but know my route isnt really covered through classes.
Has anyone had a cesearean on here?
Off for my scan in a bit. Will be 8+2. Will they be able to properly date me?
God I'm on a roll again!

nervoussara sorry to hear about your experience - but I had a c section with ds and quite frankly will beg bribe and cry at my gynae to have a normal birth rather than major surgery again. If you have any questions about a csection feel free to ask .
They will be able to date you they may be out by a few days but not weeks.

another NCT question - do you really make lots of friends through the classes? the NCT only seems to do courses for first time parents... am tempted to hide jimmy in cupboard and sneak along pretending to be a first time mum so i can make some local friends!

nervoussara so sorry to hear about your induction. that is something i'm terrified about having - that there will be an abnormality and we will have to terminate the pregnancy. the thought of having to go through labour and delivery just to expel... oh dear me no, it's such a depressing thought. i don't blame you for hoping to go another route this time!

nervousara sorry to hear about your past pregnancy but when you are induced so early like you were labour is more painful as the body is not ready or prepared so it is more intense esp as you were induced. i was induced the first time round and though at the time i was demanding an epidural i am glad i did not.
having a c section requires long recovery time and can affect how you manage with your baby, i have not had a cs but i have friends who have and they said how hard it was after. not trying ot put you off but maybe you should think about how perhaps having a normal delivery may help you put more positive thoughts on a vaginal though it is hard either way!

hi ampster - hmm. I would be tempted to go along and see what its like and who is there. I think there will be some cliques there, like anywhere, but hopefully there will be some nice people like you ! The people I have met through NCT are great. Not all necessarily friends I might have made unless we had had babies at the same time - if you see what I mean. Having gone through the first mad few months of a new baby together, we have a strong bond. A few of us are now expecting second babies so it will be nice to be able to share that again.

nervoussara - so sorry to hear about your experience and hope you find some sympathetic and sensitive midwifery bods. Totally different to your situation but I also had an induction (grim) and then a c section so happy to answer any questions about that if you want. I am fairly unphased by the prospect of having another - I don't have a strong view either way.

one more thing some NCT areas hold refresher ante natal classes so might be worth looking at those ampster
I am not on commission by the way

Just had a positive experience with NCT and happy to share it. Have other friends who did the NHS classes and they have met some nice people through them

Hi nervoussara.
I had an emergency c-section with my ds and frankly do not want to go down that route again if I can possibly avoid it. Having said that if it is a choice between an elective c-section or an induction, I will be choosing the former. In my opinion a vaginal birth would be a lot less painful than a section as I couldn't even cough or sneeze after mine because it hurt my stomach. Have you considered having a homebirth or going to a midwife led unit/birth centre rather than a hospital delivery?

thanks sazlocks, i will give it a go. nothing ventured nothing gained! i think i am a bit scared because i live near to canary wharf and am worried they will all be rich bankers wives' - or bankers themselves - and will not want to meet some silly little freelance writer chick. but that is just stupid pananoia. girds loins.

question, probably stupid - why can't they do a c-section when you have to terminate a pregnancy late? why does it have to be induced and the woman go through labour?

Hello,

well, had a good 12 weeks scan this morning- saw our little one waving and moving a lot on the screen... it took ages before they managed to do the NT scan but all ok. So quite a lovely experience- it measures 57mm and the due date is now for the 3rd...

Really sorry to hear the sad news, good luck to you all and I'm crossing fingers for your next one...

Hi Nervoussara, wanted to give you my experience as it may help your thoughts on birth/c-section.
I had to terminate my first pregnancy too, at 22 weeks. As it was my fist I had no idea what to expect and was terrified, un-prepared and just not ready in every sense of the word. The labour was long and painful - but I think this is because your body is not ready, and also you are not ready emotionally to let go of your precious baby. I needed all the drugs I could get. initially I thought it was so awful to have to give birth, but actually it made sense - and completed the cycle of conceiving, being pregnant and then giving birth.
I then got pregnant several years later, and was naturally aprehensive, as you are, of giving birth. It was a very emotive subject for me.
But this time, my body was ready, my mind was ready, and I was all prepared with the biggest bag packed! And because it was full term, and this was officially my second labour, my body knew what to do. I spent most of the labour in a water bath, and then mamaged on gas/air. It was horrendously painful (because birth just is!) but so lovely to get my dd in my arms.
I know you must be worried, but I really wouldn't choose a c-section if you can help it, because it is such major surgery, and has implications for what you can do afterwards.
Obviously everyone has different experiences of birth, but this might be your chance to have 'fond memories' of it. But good luck whatever you decide, it is such a personal thing.
Wishing you all the best and hoping everything goes smoothly this time, i do understand how you feel.
xx

Hi all,
Have got my first midwife appointment on Thurs this week (in fact, first appointment with anyone), when I'll be 9+4. Is really quite odd, as still don't feel pregnant - other than the odd spot of mad burping and raging hunger - so do feel a bit like she's going to accuse me of making it up! (though two missed periods and positive tests suggest otherwise!).
Is going to be interesting to see what she's like and what all the policies are locally - I'm not very good at being told what to do, so a bit worried she'll be the type to lecture!
Reading this thread has been so useful as I'm towards the end of Jan, so lots of you are ahead of me (or doing this for the 2nd, 3rd time)so got lots of questions to ask and things to find out!
Any tips welcome...

Hi everyone,

I've been away for over a week due to "technical difficulties" - arrrrggghhhhh!!!!

You've chatted soooo much I haven't had the opportunity to catch up on everybodies news as yet - will try and find a spare couple of hours sometime...hopefully. Just wanted to check in and say hi.

Amy and Bluespix, I'm very very sorry to read your news; there is nothing to say. .

ampster, I know it seems hard to 'make' people go through a vaginal delivery for a miscarriage/termination/still birth... I think there are various reasons, including a c-section being major abdominal surgery that does carry its own risks and then may limit your choices in future. But, also, I think research has shown that it is actually better for woman's mental health to give birth in this way than for the baby to be simply taken away. I don't have any experience of this myself, but I have heard from people who have who did find the experience, while hard, one they were glad to have gone through.

nervoussoura, you unfortunately do have first hand experience of this, and I'm sure it's not right for everybody and comes with it's own problems, such as the negative associations of birthing you now have; I can only tell you that I have never felt so amazing as I felt after my natural birth, and really appreciated being able to go home 12 hours afterwards and not have to recover from surgery as well as get used to having a newborn.

Had my booking in appointment today. Midwife was lovely, if a bit forgetful (must have asked me 4 times how old dd was!).

Unfortunately she did manage to stab me in a tendon trying to take my blood, but the pain of that has eased off now!

I thought I would get a

Oops, sorry, keyboard batteries died mid sentence.

I thought I would get a scan date there and then, but they fax off a form and it should come in the post shortly...

Only see the midwife again at 16 and 28 weeks, then it ramps up a bit after 32 weeks I think. (Unless there are any problems along the way of course.)

I just wanted to say a huge thankyou to all yr messages.
linspins thankyou for sharing your experiences with me too.
I think that you have all made me see that I need to explore all options.
My mental health is my main concern and I suppose that as that is wobbly that a c-section would be the best way, but perhaps that's not the case.
Being at home after would be lovely, and as I had wanted a doula ( how far in advance do you have to book/find one) then having that support at home would be good.
Thank you again
Timmette if I go down the c-section route then it would be great to have yr experience.
Anyway had another scan today and dating is good. All fine and dandy. Wish same could be said for my mind! Oh well.
Enjoy your evening ladies.

had my dating scan today and my date has changed by one day so i wasn't far out due jan 6th

had really worked myself up and was so restless all day but calmed down as soon as we saw baby on screen
baby was bouncing around all over the place to start with but calmed down after i emptied my bladder

Hey everyone, well im 12 weeks today yeah, so happy we got this far xx

Still have to wait until a week weds for my dating scan as I was moved forward a week when had another early scan just over a week ago x

So sorry to hear the sad news, and hope it's not long before you join us again. I have been exactly where you are and know a little of how you feel x

thanks biccy, i guess that makes sense. as another poster pointed out, it must give you a sense of closure on the whole conception and pregnancy experience. still, i can't imagine anything worse than those hours of pushing just to expel something that wasn't going to live... i suppose stillbirth must be even worse, just about...

must stop torturing self thinking about these things!

congrats to everyone who's reached the magic 12 weeks and seen their little babies bouncing around on the screen. 2 weeks to go till i'm there - can't wait!

Morning all. Another unsettling dream about miscarriage last night, I suspect triggered by having to go through all the details of my mc's with the midwife yesterday. Ugh.

Feel leaden this morning, wishing I could enjoy a cup of coffee to perk me up, but I take a sip and think 'I don't want that'.

Right, at work today, so better get down to it.

Hi all just catching up on the thread and thought I would contribute on the birth c-section vs natural debate. I would strongly recommend trying natural birth as a speedy recovery is so important, really the first few weeks with a newborn aare very intense and to give yourself the best chance of coping well with those weeks you should avoid surgery if you can.

I had an induction with my ds and it was tough but I made it through and reflecting on it I know it will be tough again but birth is just the begining and it is so hard to see beyond especially in your first pregnancy but the more you can think about those first few weeks and make choices to give yourself the best chance those first few weeks the better.

Sorry if I sound 'preachy' but do all you can to prepare for caring for a baby beyond birth as it is challenging - but very wonderful.

Sorry above does sound a bit preachy, meant to be helpful!

FlightofFancy - I am also due end of Jan (24th), and, like you, am rubbish at being told what to do! My husband asked me if I was going to do a birth plan, and I said, 'No - everyone just has to do what I say'. I'm seeing the midwife next Tuesday, then having my 1st scan on 14th July.

Morning all,

It's my first midwife appointment this morning, so am going to chat through with her all my concerns and see if we can get in for an early 12 week scan.

Still having no symptoms, although I'm feeling a bit heavier. Selfishly, I don't want to start putting too much weight on until mid-July when my wedding dress arrives in the bridal shop. Seeing as I'm not going to get to wear the damn thing on the day, I'd like to at least get a couple of pictures of me in it for posterity's sake!

On the birth front, my sister is a midwife so I'm hoping that she will be able to deliver me, wherever that may be. She seems to think it's possible - she would just need to write to my local hospital and see if they would mind having her there. (I'm sure it's more complicated than that, but fingers crossed...)