Due in Nov 05 - waiting for the bump!

[JenJam]

here we go...
Guess in the next one will be the one where we'll be waiting for the first kick! hooray it's the weekend! i haven't had any stretchy stomach feelings, maybe a quiet period pain rumble (!? is that what you mean?) well what a beautiful day i'm lying on sofa under a blanket, laptop on lap and sky baby channel on in background (i've just shed a few tears of happiness for a manchester mum who has just screamed her head off and given birth to a baby boy).

can't remember who asked - cads? re: measurement of c to r . i had one scan at 11+1 babe was 4.5 and another at 12+2 and it measured 6.0 cm.

have good sats jen

oh jenjam, you must be very worried, are you going to opt for amnio? im sure it'll be ok

Jenjam - hopefully everything will be fine and maybe the others can shed some light on this subject. I know nothing as usual.

Jenjam,
Please don't panic. I had a high risk result with triple test with first daughter (assume this is integrated test?) and had an amnio as well. Also had 'soft markers' on 20 weeks scan, but all turned out well. I don't think that they stress enough that these tests are 'screening tests', and that for some women' abnormal' results are normal patterns of bloods for them. They have actually stopped doing this test in 4 hosipitals in the UK because they do give out so many false postives. Sorry to rant, but my sister is a midwife and these tests are the bane of her life!
Please don't worry (easier said than done I know). If you do get an amnio, ask for a 'FISH' test (flurescence in situ-hybridisation) or amnio-PCR, as results come back in 2-3 days (though costs a bit). I'm thinking of you.

Jenjam,
Meant to add that false positives can be caused by incorrect dates (even by a week), taking test (if triple or combined test) before 15 weeks, bleeding in early pregnancy, and even severe early sickness. None of these applied to me (aprt from sickness) though, and still high risk. Doctors said it's just one of those things that happen. More stats: for every 100 women who screen for Downs Syndrome, 20 come back high risk. Of these 20, 1 to 2 will actually have an 'affected' baby, the other 18/19 will be fine. I found the organisation Antenatal Results and Choices invaluable. They have website, and can also be contacted by phone - really helpful to talk to things through with, and so kind and helpful.

JenJam - Sorry to be thick but what is an integrated test? Did that come as a result of an ultrasound? Have you been offerd an amnio?

I hope you are bearing up ok. We are here if you need to talk about anything, ie. your concerns!!!

You also mentioned DS, do you know the sex then?

ChaCha - I am not great with needles either but my MW was amazing, when I asked if it was in yet she told me she had finished! That actually sounds like a dirty joke doesn't it? I also tend to faint at the sight of my own blood, ie, cuts not the monthly kind! So she was very careful to keep it away from me when she had finished.

JenJam - ok just realised that I am being thick and having a preggie moment as read your post again and then mine and realised I read DS as two things in one post, how clever of me?????!!!!

Im in a predicament with my partners, brothers g/f, they have been trying for 2yrs and are getting married this aug, and myself and my partners sister are both pregnant(shes due 2 weeks after me) and she has took their news badly too, they are supposed to be coming to stay with us for a family wedding on fri but have now changed their minds at the last minute(despite it being planned for ages that they would stay with us)
and i cant help but feel its because they've just found out about my pregnancy(they found out about my s-i-l a few weeks ago) and it seems weird that they were fine and now they dont want to come to stay.

I really dont know what to do, shes a lovely girl, but very big(about size 24/26) and they have been for tests and everything came back clear, but i think if she did lose a few stone she may concieve as i was told to before ds and i was merely 10.5st not 20st, the thing is if she wanted it that badly they would change their lifestyle accodingly but they dont.

I also have no idea what to say to them, I know she will be funny with me when down but theres not alot i can do (i cant make it dissappear!) oviously i'll be tactful and not bring it up until mentoned but thats about as much as i can do.

I find it really hard as i can see from both sides of the fence becuase I lost 4 babies before ds was born whereas s-i-l cant as shes had no m/c or anything like that. I can see how shes feeling and i remember feeling lousy and that babies was the only thing on my mind and feeling slightly jealus of friends getting pregnant because I so badly wanted one.

At the same time though, i had difficulties with this pregnancy from the begginning(as you may reme,ber)as in-coming to terms with the fact that yes, id have to put everything on hold and have anougher baby, and im over that now and feeling more positive, so the last thing i need is someone making me feel bad about my pregnancy(which is what she did when i was carrying ds)

any advice?

busyalexsmummy - well its sounds like you know exactly how you feel about it, and can sympathise with her. If i were you if the conversation comes up, or she appears to be upset by it, i'd say what you ahve just told us, about knowing how she feels, and encourage her that he time will come, and that you have been through a lot to get where you are and can synpathise with her feeling so low, but you hope that she can be happy for you.

Thanks Diege - the information you posted has helped. I just don't know what to think. have an appointment with obstetrician tomorrow morning. any more advice or Qs to ask would be very welcome - my head is reeling!

Jenjam - fingers crossed for tomorrow. I'll be at work but will log in at dinner time (which is all day so best say post 5pm) and catch up on your news.

Enthusia - hope my m/w is as sympathetic. I am terribly squeamish and so is DH - God help us at the birth

BusyAlexsmum - I agree with Diddle. As you've been through similar circumstances yourself you are more in touch with how she may be feeling than anyone else. Maybe spend some time together away from the guys and talk about it all - she might be glad of it. Let us know how it goes x

I'm starving - AGAIN!

JenJam Just wanted to let you know that a friend of mine went through this but everything turned out OK , so please keep your spirits up. Will be thinking about you tomorrow.

sorry about the news jenjeam.Please try to keep in mind this is not a definite (diagnostic test) and they are often wrong. I had a high for spina bifida with dd and it ws wrong she is fine!! My only advice as a s/midwife and parent is think carefully about having an amnio(this sounds harsh i know) as there is not much point having one if you would not consider termination the only advantage to it would be you would know about the condition before birth. I f you do have an amnio FISH is great we normally get results back in 4 days consederably better that 3 weeks. Sorry if this all sounded harsh (dont mean to upset anyone) remember most babies are perfectly healthy even after a high result.
thinking of you twinkle

Sorry to hear about your worrying news jenjam, I agree with diege about these tests, they're not diagnostic and can cause a lot of undue worry. My midwife didn't encourage me to have one, so I've not had the test. I did have it with dd and it came back high risk spina bifida, like twinkle.

You and your dh will have to decide whether to have more invasive tests or not, hopefully talking to the consultant will help you make this decision. I decided to go ahead and have the amnio, which was carried out by my consultant very carefully with 2 midwives. They insert the needle through your abdominal wall with careful guidance from ultrasound. I could see both needle and baby on the screen and the two didn't come too close thank goodness, although I was very relieved to have the needle taken out.

The next couple of days I was on tenterhooks for signs of miscarriage but all was fine. Results came back soon after and they turned out fine too, I think I was glad to have the amnio but maybe that was because everything turned out ok. Not sure what I would do now though, would have to talk it over with dp, and would depend on whether we would manage with a child with downs/spina bifida.

Every situation is different and I wouldn't advise anyone either way because it's a very personal matter. A close friend of mine decided to terminate her pregnancy at 22 weeks due to a major chromosome abnormality picked up on her anomoly scan at 21 weeks. And Thomcat has got a wonderful dd with downs syndrome who you can tell is loved very dearly.

I'm sure my waffling hasn't helped but I wish you all the best for tomorrow, and will be thinking of you, love and hugs to you and your family jenjam x x x x x x x x x x xx x x x xx x x x x

Jenjam, Have seen at bottom of this thread you had scan at 11+1 and one at 12+2, was one of them a nuchal test?

PS everyone, mine and laylasmum's delivery ward at Derby City General Hospital is on TV tonight on BBC3 - 'Desperate Midwives'!

Jenjam sorry to hear your news, you must be frantic, but as the others have said keep positive and try to find out as much information as you can before you make any decisons. I'll keep everything crossed for you let us know how everything goes won't you.

I think what Twinkle has just said is very important too as sometimes we may just know too much information which can make making hard decisons even more difficult.

Busy what a predicament, I found it very hard to tell a friend of mine that I was pregnant this time as she has been trying for 5 years without any success and luckily for me she was really positive about the news, she's ds's godmother too.

I think you're right to say to her that you know how she feels and that it must be really hard for her to see you both pregnant but then again there is nothing you guys can do about it and she's just got to face up to the situation. I think chacha's right about talking to her too, it may help her to get some of the jealous feelings off her chest.

Got to say though as the team fat player I doubt her weight will make a huge amount of difference as I was 17st (size 24/26) when I fell for ds and I was 20st 10lb when I fell for this one , so I think if your body can cope with pregnancy it will no matter what your size. I would have thought that it is more likely to do with their stressing out about not getting pregnant that will be stopping her falling rather than her size if she's even remotely healthy. So I'd probably avoid commenting on her size or her need to diet if I was you just in case she turns her rather meaty left hook on you .

Now you all know why I find the maternity clothes talk so amusing!!!

Had to at you girls and the blood taking, it doesn't actually bother me as long as I look away when the needle goes in after that I can watch them drawing it with no problem. The only thing is it's like getting blood out of a stone with me I might be huge but I'm vey mean with my blood. When I was having ds and the midwife couldn't get anything from me she asked what I did for a living and I said I worked in Personnel and she just laughed and said no wonder!!!

One thing she did say though to make it easier on them and yourself is to make sure you've eaten and had a decent amount of fluids an hour or so beforehand so that you're body is more willing to give up the blood rather than holding on to it.

Had a reasonable day today although middle and back are aching from so much housework yesterday. But need to go and do some ironing now as I wimped out of it yesterday. Speak to you all tomorrow. Hope everyone else is doing ok.

Sorry Rodeo was typing when your message came up, got to say that is great advice & definitely not waffle.

Hi Beksmum, we're never here at the same time! Did you here about my gross seal moment of yesterday - won't be able to eat fish this week!

Have you got BBC3 team fat player? you can watch it while ironing all your mumu's!

beksmum-wouldn't dream of commenting about her weight to her anyhow,
just know from experience in the maternity world that weight can sometimes(not
with everyone though)be a major part in why people cant conceive, its basically because
sometimes when your overweight, your body is under so much stress from being overweight
that it wont accept a pregnancy, dont get me wrong, im not just saying this to be a b*tch!
its just one of those things that sometimes happens(but as I said not with everybody
as you oviously know)
I just find it so hard to know what to say to her, shes even ds's godmother-in my attempt
to include her fully and make her feel better, but she doesnt take a blind bit of notice
when ds is around her??

jenjam-good luck for tommorrow, im sure you and your partner will make the right
decision for you both as to where to go from here, as the others have said, try not to worry too much
hard as it is and think carefully about what you want from an amnio if you decide
to go down that route, good luck, let us know how it goes xx

busy/rodeo thanks for support. dp and i freaking out a bit.

1 in 2 chance is really very high. phone call came completley out of the blue following bloods given on Thurs (I thought nothing of it, having had two nuchals a private combined test which gave a result of 1 in 7000) this one was an nhs integrated test. I really wasn't epxecting any bad news at all.

I understand the logic of thinking very carefully before having an amnio but i really don't think i have a choice. could any of you just wait and see which side the coin lands?

Spent the whole of the afternoon and evening feeling v. , i cry if i think about termination (seems so ugly, cruel) and i cry if i think about the duty and the idea of not having the baby I imagined.

tomorrow's scan can only be bad/worse or neutral. i feel only getting good result with the amnio can make things right again.

jenjam, sorry didnt mean to sound like its an easy descion to make, just be aware of the risks as I had a friend who had the same result and had an amnio but baby was fine, but the procedure unfortunately didnt go to plan and she lost her baby girl, she oviously felt devastated as there was nothing wrong with her baby.
Im not sure weather I should have wrote that, as I dont want to scare you and the risk is quite small-dont quote me but i think it 1-2% risk of m/c from procedure.
at the end of the day, its you and your partners descion, make sure you both talk it through, talk with the consultant and ask him as many Q's as you can, best of luck+love xx

99% that amnio won't cause miscarriage vs. 50% baby may have DS. what a mindF**k. anyhow stop researching and go to bed - don't want to be tired and emotional tomorrow. bye all.

Rodeo you cheeky monkey, didn't see the midwives programme was it good? Couldn't face seeing stressed out midwives as when I had ds the ones we had were so overworked I didn't get one until I was way beyond ready to push. My mum thought she was going to have to deliver ds which would have been much more than she was bargaining for!!!

Did manage to iron my tents last night though so now have a full wardrobe again for 5 minutes.

Did see your post about the seal, yuck and what on earth possessed you to go over and have a look. The smell of fishy cat food makes me heave at the moment so i think you'd have seen my breakfast and lunch in that situation

Strange that we never manage to coincide on here I'm alwys going as you're coming on - must sort this out better. Have a good day, hope you're keeping well.

Busy don't worry I really didn't think you were being a b*tch and like you I am aware of the difficulties weight can have in a pregnancy - you can imagine the lectures I get!!!

I really feel for you in this situation, it is so hard as you don't want to me made to feel guilty just because your pregnant and you've already tried to include her by making her godmother so there's very little else you can do really. She's got to get over this herself and as you said it's not as if you are going to be talking about the baby every moment of the day, I always find that if you are trying to avoid the conversation the person you feel most uncomfortable talking about it with will mention it the most, as if they are trying to either make themselves unhappy on purpose or because they feel they have too!

Hope the wedding goes well, wherever they decide to stay and that the bride looks lovely enough or even better another relative looks awful enough to give you all something different to talk about. I'm sure once the wine starts flowing she'll chill out and if she doen't ultimately it's tough she's got another 6 months to get over it hasn't she. Definitely don't let her spoil your day though Have fun and let us know how you get on.

Hope everyone else is well, has anyone heard from Tex?

Better go as I'm babysitting for a neighbour who is moving at the end of the week so don't want to get caught in my pj's, speak to you all later.

Jenjam didn't want to put this with the other message, I've got everything crossed for you today I hope the amnio gives you a good result especially after the nuchal giving you a 1 in 7000 possibility.

The call coming out of the blue like that must have thrown you into a complete panic and to be honest like you said there really is no decision to make 'cos like you I couldn't wait nine months to see which side the coin landed on.

Whatever decisons you have to make today, please come and talk to us later and let us know how you get on. We're all here to support you and will definitely never judge you whatever you decide 'cos there for the grace of god go the rest of us and any one of us could find ourselves in the same position.

Sending love & big supportive {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} to you and your family

Hello, can I join in? Pg with 2nd baby (dd born 22/2/03) and due about 10th November which makes me 14, 15, 16 or 17 weeks depending on who we talk to!!
Looks like I'll be the old woman of the group at 42 (43 when baby turns up!) but that's nothing new. Refuse to act my age anyway.
May just lurk for a bit as getting married in 10 days time (planned a bit before the bump appeared!). You've been struggling to get maternity stuff to fit, try looking for a wedding dress!!