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Grab a seat, a double chocolate brownie and lets roll the wagon as we wait for more babies to arrive

950 replies

GYo · 02/05/2009 12:46

New thread!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SesHasFinallyBecomeAMum · 19/05/2009 15:53

Cosmo, just for you....here

(Actually have been planning on doing it for months days now!)

Just tried to catch up but now DS is wanting a feed...

Quickly though,

Nat - thinking of you. Not easy for you and hope that whatever the right solution is, it gets sorted as quickly and smoothly as possible. We're all here for you though...

Diege - anusol should be fine as long as they're not bleeding.

Right, must dash...

Starshinetiger · 19/05/2009 16:05

Nat - really feeling for you. Can't imagine what it is like, but know you will have thought long and hard about this decision. Just hope we can all be hear as a friendly ear for you when you need it. It maybe that the reality of you moving out will be the shock he needs, just don't know.

If I remember correctly, your family live down south-westish and not a million miles from where I am, so if it comes to you moving down here and would like a friendly "voice" (well can't say face as we've not actually met), am around for you.

Right - must dash should be playing with DS...

GYo · 19/05/2009 17:01

Nat, echo Star. Suspect we are cloe together here so there are friendly wagoners down here for meeting in macDs down here

OP posts:
juleswastink · 19/05/2009 17:21

oh nat - it must be horrid leaving like that it is no way to live!!!

lardybump · 19/05/2009 17:54

I will keep both my snot bags away from Ruby glask.

Nat I am so sorry you are going through this. I dont know if things have changed but my sister was not elligable for council accomodation (dispite having three children aged 5 and 4 and 1) as her name was on a mortgage. She had to get her ex to buy her out of the house thus removing her name and then apply for council housing. She was in a refuge while this was all going on as he was an alcoholic and emotionally abusive... I could have all changed now as this was 4 years ago...

Diege I had bad piles and I was told to use suppository not cream.....

Sorky EYE NO LANDLOVER, SHIVER ME TIMBERS!!!

Kayzr · 19/05/2009 19:49

Any help greatly appreciated. He is currently yelling that he needs his dinner(despite being fed)

sorkycakey · 19/05/2009 20:40

LB get thee'sell over to th' face O'books for parlay!

NatalieJane · 19/05/2009 21:04

God you lot must think we are some sort of, what's that family called on the telly? Never watched it, and I forget their names, kicking off at the slightest thing blah blah. We're not, we're normal. Well, we were.

There is stuff to sort out, money now, the house, maintinance, when he's going to have the boys etc. all seems a bit surreal at the moment, but it has to be sorted. And then the D.I.V.O.R.C.E. OMG, am going to be 'that' single divorced mum of three, living off benefits, at the grand old age of 26, what an accomplishment? I thought we were set for life, been telling myself for fuck knows how long we're set for life. How could I have been so stupid? It's all so clear now, yes I am angry, yes I'm hurt, yes I could quite easily go and curl up in a corner and not come out for months, but none of that matters, none of anything matters, except the boys.

How do I get them through it?

You'd think I'd know, my mum and dad split when I was 8, I don't even remember it, never ever remember my mum or dad sitting me down, explaining it, why it was happening, one day he was there, the next he wasn't. Can I keep it as simple as that? Is that actually simple?

I don't know what to do. Do I tell DS1 what's happening? Do I wait till we've got a house and we're moving? Do I wait till we are moving? Do I let him get settled telling him dad's following? Then break it to him once he's settled? Shitting fucking buggery. I am out of my depth here, don't know if I'm coming or going. One minute life is planned, the next, it's not.

God, I am so sorry, I know I am warbling, just need to get it out.

NatalieJane · 19/05/2009 21:08

Still don't know what the family is called, but the program is Shameless. Can't believe I managed to remmeber that all on my own!

sorkycakey · 19/05/2009 21:14

the gallaghers, but no you're not and we don't think that either

NatalieJane · 19/05/2009 21:23

See, I'd never have remembered their name, have never known it! Do you think that was an educated choice of name for charactors of that 'sort'? Oasis drink anyone?

Fuck me, what a bloody day? Head feels like it's had a wrecking ball plunged into it.

NatalieJane · 19/05/2009 21:24

Is that even how you spell 'plunged'? It doesn't look right to me!

NatalieJane · 19/05/2009 21:26

Annnnd is it program, or programme? None of them look right either!

sorkycakey · 19/05/2009 21:31

LOL at you being pedantic over spelling. What's the family say bout this chick? Do they know?

sorkycakey · 19/05/2009 21:32

Plunged and programme look right to me

NatalieJane · 19/05/2009 21:42

Oh the family knows, he rang them. Sister now agree's with me, because she hadn't just heard his 'not a lie, but not the whole truth' version, mum is in bits, friend is in bits thinking she's caused it, it's not her that's brought it all to a head, it's the situation.

I should have known, 9 years ago, he made it plain and clear he wasn't going to allow me to go out with friends from work on a girl's night out, i.e. me and the girls, oppportunity hasn't come up since then because of moving etc., now it has, he's playing the 'we shouldn't be going out (that is, me going to friend's house for a drink, in the evening, in her house - not a club) until me and him can go out, we can't go out, we've tried, with kid's etc. we just can't go out, on our own as a couple, so he's basically doing the same again.

Shit I know I'm going on and on, am trying to get it straight in my head. How could I have fallen for the shit for all these years? How could I have let myself? I would have considered myself to be strong and fairly independant given that I don't work, and I do rely on him for money etc., but it's all been a farce, I bow down to him. I do as I'm told, and what is expected of me. Well not anymore.

lardybump · 19/05/2009 22:11

At last I am back our internet went down. Maybe MN sent the bug our way??? All ok now though so breath lardy......

Went to buy jeans today as I am sick of wearing maternity clothes. I put on 4 stone with ds and thought I was doing ok loosing it but I am still 2 dress sizes bigger than I was before I got pg... boo hoo

Also I went to get my eyes tested today and they did a presure test, my presure is very high and I have to go back tomorrow for another test and further investigation, it is a sign of glucoma (sp?) I am so worried about it now!!! Still if it is i just hope we have caught it early. it also turns out i have been driving illegally as my eyes have got worse now so also got new glasses to pick up tomorrow....

What with ds being so ill and dd yesterday I really hope that this is the third and final problem.....

Kayzr · 20/05/2009 08:26

Morning,

LB, got fingers crossed that everything is ok with you.

Nat, I am really sorry. You have always sounded really happy. I do understand though, I know I couldn't live like that. I personally think that once you are in a family all money should be equal. I am sure you can't work because of the boys or without spending a fortune on childcare so I don't think it's very fair of him to throw that at you.
I'm not sure what to do about DS1. I was 13 when my parents split up so I knew what was happening. We're all here for you

Diege · 20/05/2009 08:33

Morning Doula here at 10, so frantically trying to clear away last night's tea things
LB, I'm sure you'll be ok at the opticians; glucoma is very rare in young people, so they are probably just keeping an eye on you.Good that you have new glasses sorted too.
NAT, what can I say, what's with the 'not allowing you to go out stuff!! . I have been there though, and cringe about how I was at the time, but the key thing is that you both recognise it and can move on together, or you get out now and move on with your life. If dh has serious control issues, he needs to recognise this and address it; if not, being there with him will destroy you and also give the ds's a terrible example of how to treat women. These next few days and weeks will be so hard for you, but you will look back at these times as so significant, and you will emerge a stronger person and mummy to your little boys xx

Diege · 20/05/2009 08:35

Morning Kayz!!

sorkycakey · 20/05/2009 08:54

Morning everyone.
Diege I've just cleared away last nights tea

Busy, busy today. Hairdresser coming to colour my hair, then lunch (Dh is coming home) then Salon for eyebrows/lashes fix, then shopping for one or two bits of clothes for me, then a meal out with the girls from work for tea!
Phew! I think I need a lie down to get ready for it all

We've decided to stay put in the house for the next couple of years after a lovely chat yesterday.
If we move our mortgage will quadruple

A little bird has told me (at work) that my boss "has high hopes for me"........ I think I'll resign
I don't even have high hopes for myself

Merry times be to thee LB, yer scurvy dawg, on yer visit to them spyglass fiddlers. I be sure them twinklies of yers be fine, arrr!

Diege · 20/05/2009 09:12

Glad it's not just me SORKY! Just the breakfast things to go now... Sounds like you have a lovely day of pampering, just in time for weekend! Am I the only one whose hair appointment is next week!! Sod's law I'll be looking my roughest on Saturday
Right, must get dressed!

Kayzr · 20/05/2009 09:13

What are you all wearing on Saturday??

sorkycakey · 20/05/2009 09:30

I'm not so sure you've ever looked rough diege

No idea what I'm wearing kayz. Fresh panic now I have to think about it

Moosy · 20/05/2009 09:33

Sorry to hear what's happening Nat, I'm not really coherent enough to say anything that hasn't already been said, but I'm thinking of you. xx

Have a grotty cold and am going back to bed now, will catch up when I have something useful to say!

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