Grab a seat, a double chocolate brownie and lets roll the wagon as we wait for more babies to arrive

[GYo]

New thread!

GYo- i'm the same- my sister needs to pack bottles, formula, spare bottles in case he's hungrier than expected- all i need is me and DD2!! I've got big boobs too and dont wear preper BFing tops so i'm always flashing more than i need to, and i've not had any looks or comments yet- and i feed anywhere!!

Glask- come on, lets both do an hour and come back at 2.30pm? ( I desperately need encouragement!)

well i'm currently between here and stomping round the living room getting the DC's to tidy their mess- thats a start!! Once they've tidied i plan to put DS in his room and DD1 for a nap and will hopefully get another load of washing on and wash some pots.... so i'm planning on being productive!!

may even hoover the living room for the second time today as the kids have made such a mess!! ok- will go now and will be back once i've done something!! Make a list of all you get done GYo- we'll make it a competition to see who can do the most in an hour eh? there's some encouragement!!

hi

went swimming
off to friend later.

nat - here if you need me

kay - ohhh

baby bits sound good

good luck getting things done

Hi ladies,

I've been rubbish at posting lately but have been lurking. Hope meet up goes well. Not sure if I'll be able to make the Reading one - bit far for me - but if there was a London or more central one that would be definitely do-able. Would be great to put faces to MN names!

On the public b/feeding - haven't been brave enough yet nearly did on Sat in John Lewis cafe but they had a cool parent room where you could feed, change etc so used that instead.

Hope everyone is well. Will try to be better at posting! Very belated congrats to Ses on your little baby boy. Is there a birth story yet?

ok...DD2 needed a feed so i didn't do a full hour's work yet- but i've folded all the clothes for ironing/putting away,got DC's to finally tidy living room... got the hoover ready to do the living room again... and have put another load of washing on... When DD2's fed and settled i'll hoover the living room and put the clothes away then thats me for now... will do the pots when i'm putting tonights tea in the oven later i think...

Sorry really can't catch up, haven't got the head space even if I had the time.

I'm OK, just realised I can't be putting up with any more control issues, am sick of having to jusitfy everything, am sick of having to ask permission, of having to explain why I wasn't somewhere at a certain time, of putting up with the "I go to work, you're home" excuse rolled out no matter how much I try to get him to understand it is no picnic being at home all day every day. I can't even get round town properly, I have no money to call my own, he holds all the cards and I have to play along or we have problems. I am going to be 26 years old next month, I am an adult, I am allowed to make my own decisions, without OK'ing it first (I'm not talking about big things, I'm talking about whether I buy some clothes for the boys or not, whether I'm going to have a bath or a shower)

The end is here! I am sure it's the right thing, so why am I sat here hardly being able to see the keyboard?

I've done half of a HUGE pile of ironing and have sorted it into piles belonging to whom on the dining room table.
I've sat with dd1 to do her History.
Fed baby, again.
Now need to find out what the boys are doing because they're rather quiet

Swim lessons soon so should really think about getting dressed

sorry Nat x-post.

Is it possible that the financial difficulties you've had recently are taking their toll on the relationship?
Do you still love him?

Has it always been like that with your DH Nat? I mean is it something recent? or since you were a SAHM? You've had a lot to deal with as a couple and family in the last few mths.... stressful pregnancy, new baby, DH's job/finincial worry, then the PG scare last week... you sounded so happy last week, how's everything changed so fast?

Love him, nothing to do with money, everything to do with the "yes you can Nat, no you can't Nat"

x-posted sorky!!

then x-posted Nat... can you not tell him how it makes you feel and work throguh it?

We've tried, he's won't stop it.

Even now he's in my ear, giving it "Just try", I've tried, I've tried and tried and tried, I can't do it anymore.

Back- bit longer than hr as DD woke and needed changing.

Hi Nat . Control issues are miserable to live with, really do sypathise. faxing secret wagon hug.

jobs done:
papers sorted into filing and rubbish
folded and out away clean clothes
tidied lounge - only for cat to make bed on newly plumped cushions
started sorting some old boxes of stuff
tidied nursery

now feeding DD

Kitchen really needs taclking next...

H'es been on the phone to my sister, behind my back, yesterday, telling her I'm basically half way to an alcohlic, drinking at all times, falling down drunk while picking Thomas up, and then he wonders why she agree's with him and say's I've taken it too far. Fair enough, the last few weeks I've drunk more than I have in the last year, but I have never been out of control, odd time been up to pick him up having had a glass of wine, but no where near falling down drunk! Even when we've agreed I am going to spend Friday night at friend's house, having a drink, having a good time, not playing mum for a night, I get texts saying "are you not coming home tonight?" and then when I get home major barney, that night we were up till 5am, was after he'd agreed to 'let' me go down to her house, he texts, I come home, we argue, turns into major sex fest, all forgotten - by him.

I can't do it anymore, he's gone to get DS1 from school, I'm now supposed to just act all normal, how can I do that? I'm planning to take them away, 200 miles away, how can be fucking normal?

oh Nat.....men are from mars.....you are a smart woman and I have no doubt you will do what is best for you and your boys....thinking of you and also sending chocolatey things you way.....

oh nat- if you can't do it you cant- simple as that really. you'll get through this next feww weeks and then you can take your DS's and start again. It's really underhand of him to phone your sister too!!

GYo- think you beat me.... though i have 2 more peoples clothes to sort thn you do!!

NAT, I can't pretend to know the ins and outs of your situation with dh, but it does very much remind me of an x-partner of mine who I lived with for 6 years. The control thing is very insiduous, and as you say it's the little things like asking for permission etc that say a lot more about the relationship than anything else. I have often been inspired by your approach to life, so know that you are a strong woman who knows what's what, and will reach clarity in your mind about what to do next.
Thinking of you x

very well said Diege- very insightful!!

Nat I knew there was something I forgot to add to your thread, might as well post here.

I don't know if you're aware but you'll actually have to have his permission to take the boys and move down South.
If he doesn't agree to you moving that far he can apply to the courts for an order preventing you from doing so.

It's to do with how far he would have to travel in order to have regular access and whether that distance is fair on him and the children

I think you'd be wise to consult a solicitor about a separation agreement if the separation is to go ahead.

Can you not try Relate?

I say this from experience with BIL.
SIL wanted to take boys from where I live to Preston. He refused to allow her to take them, she said she was taking them regardless, he threatened a court injunction
They live up here with him and she has 2 weekends in 3 access, plus some school holidays.

Nat, i am really sorry. Sounds like hell tbh, i couldn't live like that. There is relate but it's only worth it if you know he can put 100% into trying to change.