Due May 09-Weddings,Inductions,Births & C-Sections - Its all going on this month!

[Grumpyoldcaaaaaaaa]

Here we go lasses

Thanks for the tips Gert2a, have emailed you.

Its the fact that they're all expecting some tradiional huge wedding, when its not going to be and never was ging to be, its not what me & dp are about.

They keep on and on and on about having a bouquet, buttonholes, men wearing matching ties, things that are going to cost money, that we dont have so therefore wont be having, we were never going to have, yet they keep on digging and nagging, then theres the whole wedding list issue, we dont have one as there is nothing we need as we've lived together for 3 years and already have everything we need, but they keep on about doing a list, I got nagged into doing a seat plan for reception meal, so I do it, then get the moans ' she wont want to sit there '.

Its the daily phone calls asking 'have you got the rings' 'have you picked the song' all the time, I jut dont want any of it.

The one final thing which just tops it off is the fact that we decided to have an evening do, disco buffet sort of thing, well they put the idea in our heads, but we have to pay for it, obviously Madi will be coming, but not one member of family has offered to have her that night so me & dp can have our wedding night in private IYKWIM I know its expecting alot and I have no issue having Madi at home, but just thought it would've been nice for someone to take her for us, and you ask why wont they have her, because that would me they would have to leave the party early to take her home if she gets tierd/grumpy (which will mean the bride will have to leave her own party) and becuase they all want to drink and enjoy themslves (pregnant bride wont be drinking)

(Final note my family charged me £250 a month rent when I was 18- 19) which I was told was being put away to pay for my wedding, suprisingly that money has not materialised nor been mentioned)

Sorry for ranting, and not making alot of sense

Oh chocolatebunnies you are so not being unreasonable! Could your DH-to-be look after Madi for you? Or a friend? Parents, eh? Who'd have them? Are you waiting for them to offer or have you asked? Sometimes a bit of emotional blackmail and/or a hissy fit can do the trick!

belgian I had a weird dream last night too. I dreamt a midwife came to the house to "prepare" me for labour and did something that made me bleed a lot, which she said was normal. I'm going to sound really weird now but usually dreams like this for me indicate a similar thing happening soon!

Anyway, off to pick DS up from pre-school. I'm so tired today, I barely slept last night apart from weird dream. Ho hum!

Llare DP will be working and then has football (dont ask, sore subject!) Am trying friends at the mo, I have asked them and they said 'no as we're going to get our hair done'

I think its a dig at me as we're getting married at 10.30am, everyone has said its too early and they wont have time to get ready in the morning, I cant see the problem with 10.30, we wanted to get it done early so I can rest etc in the afternoon.

Arghhhhhhhh sorry for being a nightmare moaner today

chocbunnies I feel so sorry for you. I think people do get excited about weddings. We got married last year and so it's all still very fresh in my memory. TBH 10.30 isn't that early. We got married at 11, which isn't all that much later. Does it really matter, anyway. We had a break of a few hours between the ceremony and the 'do', because we had it in Belgium where the meal is always in the evening. We had to find some sort of compromise. We did make it a child friendly 'do' and my mum got teenage children of her friends to keep an eye on the little ones so the adults could eat in peace. In return I got the babysitters a present and a meal, they didn't actually want to be paid. Just being part of the party was exciting enough for them.
Sounds like you're going to have to put your foot down and tell people that if they want this or that then they can pay for it, because honestly, it's your family being selfish and not you! I know that's what we had to do with my mum (and she did actually pay for the things she wanted, mainly inviting loads of her own friends and colleagues). Can you get any friends to help you out, rather than family? I'm sure that if we lived closer any one of us would volunteer to have little Madi!

Oh and chocbunnies we did have a small wedding list in the end after lots of nagging from people and we only placed it with 'wrapit' that went bust a month after the wedding so except for an egg timer and lemon zester I never actually saw any of the presents people bought for us. Luckily most of them got their money back and they ended up just giving us the cash. Typical thing to happen to me.

Omg choc I would so be having tantrums if I were you! I'd be sorely tempted to elope NOW! Can you ask your parents about the rent money?! That is totally unbelievable!! People can be such shits when it comes to weddings! (am trying to plan mine for October, and already I am stressed!)

Just looked up where you are - miles away, bugger, I would have offered to help! Shame I'm not having my hols around there NEXT week, and not those few weeks ago!!

You are entitled to moan. In fact, do it LOUDER!!! And as for the football......!!!!

Louder? Or more loudly? Hm.

Thing is its not my parents (thy both died when I was liitle) I was brought up by my Nan & Grandad and my Aunty & Uncle (they all live in the sam house) so it was them as a foursome who wanted the rent money, but money is such an issue with them its not worth asking if that makes sense, they're whole world revolves around money, so cant really ask for it, I had hoped they may contribute something towards the costs (as it was they're idea to have party in evening) but as they went and paid the deposit, of £40, then asked me pay them back the very next day, I think its unlikely.

Thanks for all your support, wish I lived closer to all of you, instead of being stuck in the arse end of nowhere!

Ohhh and football, DP will be playing the Thursday night and AGAIN on the Saturday, as in our first day of married life, not overly impressed with that!

To be honest, all we really need is stuff for Madi and Baby, but apparently people wont buy stuff like that as its our wedding and the presents are for us??!! The best thing everyone could do would be stick some money in a card to put towards our rent as we cant afford it and are getting scarily close to becoming homeless becouse of it!

chocbunnies a few years ago a friend of ours got married when his wife was present and they didn't want any wedding presents, just contributions to their 'nappy fund'. We all understood, because like you they had lived together for ages and had everything. We got them some argos vouchers so they could get what they liked. I really don't understand why they don't want to get baby presents. It's like you said: you've already got everything, baby related presents would be v. useful!

Beligian Thats exactly what we want but people keep saying oh no we want to get something for you And by stuff for Madi & Baby, we mean furniture and stuff not things that wont be used after a few months!

Chocbunnies - I do feel for you - a wedding day is stressful enough on it's own without being so heavily pregnant and having Madi to look after.

My wedding 11 years ago, was without my parents, as my mum had died 5 yrs before and my dad popped it 6 weeks before the wedding! the cracker was - not only did I have to organise a funeral, and clear out the tip of a house etc, he had taken a bank loan out just before 'for the wedding' but when he offered me a roll of money I wouldn't take it because he wouldn't tell me where it had come from! so he went off with both of us crying (he had been to the pub beforehand). So then, he buggered off to Malta for a week and blew the lot! So of course when he died I found all this out, and the full amount of the loan was still outstanding!

Luckily a close friend convinced the bank to not pursue repayment of it through me - but we still had a lot of debt from doing the wedding ourselves. So I can relate to the money worries on top of all the stress. If it helps any - we did have a great day and I can look back now and laugh it off (it did take a while tho!)

Hang in there - try to be straighforward with your friends / family - say 'okay you're getting your hair done, but what am I supposed to do?' or ' can you please take Madi for the wedding night - it would mean a lot' sometimes we expect others to realise what we want, but we have to spell it out even if it seems so obvious.

oh choco I wish I could help you - like everyone else on here. I'm not sure where you are but am pretty sure you're not in Scotland?
I think in terms of wedding presents asking for cash or vouchers is very sensible so you can get what you need - you don't need household stuff if you've lived together for 3 yrs! I also can't believe nobody can have Madi for a few hours for you - in that case try and get an evening appointment or someone to come to the house to do your hair etc - if you phone round now you should find someone?
I just feel sorry for you honey , I remember organising my wedding (which was big, and I did it on my own as my mother had died, MIL didn't want to help and my Step-mum was being a total witch) and I was SO SO SO stressed out. And I wasn't 9 months pregnant then either so I can only imagine what you're going through. If I were you, I'd be getting seriously stroppy with everyone involved (friends, family or whoever could be helping you but aren't) and be reminding them that YOU are VERY VERY PREGNANT and EXHAUSTED and getting very STRESSED and UPSET which is not good for you or the baby and that you need some HELP! NOW!
[big hugs]

Ladies - I'm only on here very quickly and now won't get the chance in the near future to catch up with you all.

Have been seen by the Registrar this morning. BP is high - now ???/100, so that coupled with my puffy pitting ankles and rumbling headache is enought to get me admitted to hospital today to monitor my BP. This is what happened to me last time - in hosp for a rest on the Wed and on the Thursday morning I got a sweep, pessaries, waters broken and induced on IV drip - and at 9pm DS was born.....

So best go - I've to sort myself out -(runs around madly thinking what I've to do, but bags are packed already - but just feel I should be doing something!!) DH & I will collect ds from school then head to the hosp.

Will be thinking of you lot over hte next few days and will let you know of any developments when I get back home...

Very exciting!!!!

Good luck!!!!

good luck divedaisy! all happening here .

Divedaisy good luck with everything - we will be thinking of you.

The very best of luck divedaisy... healthy blood pressure and lovely labour thoughts winging your way.

Good luck Divedaisy Hope your ok!

Thanks for the support Frazzled Wish you could all come down and be my voice for me! Im not good at standing up for myself at the best of times!

Unfortunatly I am at the complete opposite end of the Country to Scotland!

Im just waiting to hear back from a friend if she'll be able to have Madi for me.

Is it wrong that Im wishing myself to go into labour now so I dont have to deal with this anymore??!

OOooh Daisy hope everything goes OK for you.

ChoclateBs (((((hugs)))))) sounds stressful. You've had loads of advice which I would echo.

Belgian I didn't bother with Bravissimo today, might try on Friday again. It's the last thing I need to sort out to be ready.

Instead I sorted out DD2s sandpit with the Nanny. Which involved emptying existing pit of sand, purchasing new sand and replacing it. sensible when I was supposed to put my feet up. But Nanny and DD2 now happy, so I can disappear for a bit to MN and do other admin-y jobs. And I am happier too. So sipping on RLT and trying not to be of those looking like their LOs will be with them soon. Also v. of Spangle and Bugaboos. I ended up with a sensible Maclaren but I really really like Bugaboos. DH put his foot down though, sigh. .

It's so lovely to hear DD2 playing in the sand in the back garden. Lovely day. Let's hope we get a gorgeous summer for our MLs...

Ooh divedaisy, I hope you're ok and nothing untoward (not PE I hope). Fingers crossed for bubba no. 2?!?!?!?

Lots of love your way xxxx

Chocbunnies. FFS, if I lived closer, I would be there like a shot to SORT EVERYONE OUT. I cannot believe no-one will have Madi and it makes me incredibly when people interfere with your wedding plans. Grrr. Grrrr. Grrr.

We were lucky, we organised ours within a month which didn't give anyone the chance to interfere too much. I didn't have my hair done and me & DH argued before the ceremony, so I arrived in a taxi driven by a 14 year old. I think I may have touched on this before, sore point . Still, t'were a reet luvvurley day .

I shall be casting evil looks at your guests. They have been warned. Lots of love your way too xxx

Oh and sausage, I'm glad you're enjoying that 'relaxing' jigsaw. Your post made me laugh A LOT. Sorry about that, but it was very funny.

Is anyone else experiencing what life will be like at 95? It takes me 10 minutes to get out of bed (roll into correct position very carefully, but pelvis still clicks and grinds, very, very slowly try to sit up without tearing stomach muscles, grip edge of bed to lever self to feet, try to grasp corner of chest of drawers specifically placed for this purpose and stand, breathing heavily for a minute whilst every muscle in back and legs twangs with excruciating pain. Then walk very, very slowly to bathroom, whilst clinging on to wall/door/helpfully placed children). Still, just 4 weeks to go

nothing new today. day by day. i'm still getting bad heartburn so wonder if that means baby is still high, not engaged .

great to hear all having a show. I reckon there will be a group of babies born next 7-10 days.

chocobunnies, how frustrating and stressful. separately, organising weddings and giving birth are stressful so you're amazing for doing both at similar time. if you think you sound selfish, don't worry. this is your time and you deserve for everyone to help you, especially family and friends. echoing some of the others' comments, ask directly for things like someone watching Madi. it will take a load off your shoulders. also, just say a firm 'no' to those wanting things for the wedding that you don't. though it's tough, try to stick to your guns and don't let anyone pressurise you into things you don't want/need (eg gifts). hope you're ok, you really need to get a break.

no looby news then. sigh. can't wait for the next one! divedaisy could follow quickly as well. then who?

walked to counsellor today for last appt before birth. i feel much better about this birth knowing that I have support of councellor, GP, HV regarding PND and am pretty sure I've got the tools to avoid a similar thing happening.

no nesting today. girls at nursery, i've walked 2 miles through town for appt, so now I'm going to relax with my cuppa raspberry tea in the sun and listen to my hypno CD. hope all you enjoying a beautiful day.

grumpy, lol, ikwym about being 95. do you know how long it took me to walk back from my appt this morning? luckily there are loads of shops on the way so i stopped to 'rest' at some (and didn't spend too much ).

momino I'm going to walk the dog now but not very far - I am absolutely and [in awe emoticon] at the distances you walk - often with 2 toddlers in pushchair. I'm ok after I've been up for an hour but the mornings are pretty bad at the moment, after about 7pm gets bad as well.

I will be power-walking and striding purposefully EVERYWHERE when this LO is born.........

Right Beebee - WALKIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!! . See you in a wee while laydeez...