Due May 2009 We're Nesting and Napping, Squeezing and Holding

[FiKelly]

here we go

Hi spangle - I'm supposed to be working too but am having trouble summoning up the motivation .

It is indeed an annoying situation, esp as in fact I wasn't really planning to leave at the beginning of April - it is 2 whole months before I'm due - but have been asked to be ready to go then due to having found this replacement who is prepared to come (we have issues finding people, unfortunately). I wouldn't actually lose any leave by staying longer, as I can still take my 4 weeks' annual holiday and then start my mat leave after that, so it's the lack of organisation and certainty that's irritating, but I'm not really losing out. As we're a small team, for holidays etc we just cover for each other, but for longer periods that doesn't work and I doubt I would get permission to take 2 weeks off now. I wouldn't want to dump that on my immediate colleagues anyway.

I'm trying to put a positive slant on it all, but I actually think it's been badly handled and fairly deliberately because my ultimate boss is cross that I have got pregnant twice in 2 years, pleasant type that he is. He's not technically doing anything wrong but he has been making my life unpleasant in ways like this. Still, in general I have excellent & generous rights here (I'm in an international organisation in Brussels so it doesn't really come under any of the 'usual' rules), so the bigger picture is good and I will just be a lot more relaxed once I've left this job behind, as I'm not planning on coming back to the same post. There are a lot of people in much much worse situations than me who really are being discriminated against and this small situation of mine has made me realise just how much sympathy and support they need.

Plus, Easter long weekend is coming up, and I have this Friday off to do NOTHING in! Will take dd to the creche for a short day while I do some shopping for clothes that fit, as I have got much fatter than last time and don't even fit any of my mat clothes any more . Then we can go and play in the park on the way home, as it's so much lighter in the afternoons/evenings now. Yay! It's the little good things that make the difference when everything else is crap [doing my best emoticon].

Speaking of low tolerance, Momino, I think I've been heading for another rant. Just went for my blue badge assessment and it was absurd. They test you walking 100 mtrs by getting you to walk between 4 chairs 5 times over on a perfectly flat (but not slippery), even floor, with no gradient, no shopping to carry, no fast moving able bodied people who don't know you'll drop if they so much as nudge you (although you'd think the cane was a dead give away), no curbs or stairs to negotiate, no roads to cross...it was frankly an insult to all that makes life that much harder for the mobility impaired person. It makes me think these people think that a disability is some kind of bonus that means you get a park or a pension or a cheap ride in a taxi. On top of that the assessor accused me of being late after I'd sat in the waiting room for half an hour. I (probably stupidly given that she's the one who has something to do with whether or not I'll qualify for the blue badge) said to her, but I wasn't late - perhaps the receptionist hadn't told you I was here right away? She says, its okay that you were late, just sit down. I wanted to stab her. Really must get my cane looked at and see if I can't get a weapon put in it. Better add a winky or someone might report me as a psychopath.

On a brighter, well perhaps more interesting, note there was a woman in the waiting area. I think she had emphasaema (sp?) because she had her oxygen tank in an old pushchair with her. She was from Limerick and had 14 children and 100 grandchildren. I think she caught the disbelief in my eye because she said "Irish Catholic" and that was that. She was very sick, and looked as though someone ought to be taking better care of her (who knows though). She said I was having a girl. She was rather lovely. But i still felt like running people over all the way home.

Oh llareggub it is a gorgeous day. I'll have a cup of tea with you.

Euromum I sometimes wonder if that sort of crap with employers etc who basically discriminate against pg women will ever pass. I know what you mean about all the laws and systems in place but you still can't change peoples attitudes completely. Yuck.

Sweetbroody I'm so sorry about the meet up - I had intended to email you but then I had this silly appt that came up on Monday so didn't end up going myself. I will email you as I think the plan is to organise another one. Also - I think cardamom is good for you - I was told at any rate that it helps your stomach settle and that it helps with morning sickness. Cold coffee...not hard to crave that in this weather...this gorgeous weather. The temperature and the light coming through the smog combined with the smell of my facecream reminds me of being in the tropics. Its luscious. Yes, I do know, I'm certifiable. Somehow I'm not pining for the beach, clear air and quiet of my home town as much as the sweat and heavy air of somewhere like KL with its wonderful food and sweet little bananas. Which I know would be revolting for someone this pregnant (not the sweet little bananas - the oppressive heat).

OK now I really am wittering. Although I suspect I've done nothing but witter for a good 10cm or so.

Dandy - DD was 2.5 (or so) when she was dry in the day. Within a week, I took off nighttime nappies. She peed the bed a few times (2-3) but then learned not to.

Here are a few tips that helped us:

No big glass of milk before bed. No beaker of water next to bed.

Make sure she pees before bed.

Lots of positive reinforcement a la "Big girls/princesses/etc don't wear nappies (show in cartoons, on Barbie, etc), they use the toilet like mummy".

Put double of everything on her bed, so if she wets in the night, all you need to do is take off one layer of water-resistant cover + towel + bedsheet, and you will have another ready. This saves a lot of effort in the middle of the night re finding all elements, putting them in place etc.

Euromum, I know you are in Belgium, so different rules over there, but i find it that your employer can dictate to you when you should start your maternity leave, based on when your replacement is due to start. I know you say you have annual leave to take anyway so its not so bad, but really, you should have the right to choose to go when you are ready - whether that means an overlap or a gap...

D'you know its taken me two days to catch up with you lot?!! I've been away for the weekend, and then busy at work/too tired to type!

There is so much going on, I can't keep up so apologies for not replying to anyone in particular.

A Happy Birthday to all you with birthdays in the last week. March is a busy time! It was my dad's birthday on Monday and we went with him and my mum to centre parcs. Had a lovely weekend. Even managed to squeeze in a pregnancy treatment in the spa. Bliss. A leg massage with some lovely cooling gel, a bump mask (!) and a mini facial. The only thing was the bed was so hard and its difficult lying on your back so I had to keep shuffling around. Still, heaven for an hour and my skin definatley looked better for it. Am hoping DH picked up the rather large hint I dropped for some of the leg gel for mothers day as my ankles have begun to swell now and it felt so refreshing to have this lovely cooling gel massaged in.

As of now, I only have 6 working days left before maternity leave starts. I can't wait just so I can catch up with some sleep. I nearly fell asleep at my desk today. DS is wetting his bed almost every night and then climbing in with us. Its exhausting.

I'm not going to pretend I managed to catch up with the whole thread, but I saw there has been some talk of cramps - I had the worst ever cramp last night. Jumped straight out of bed and screamed for the 10 minutes or so it took to go away, with DH massaging my leg and saying "See, if I didn't watch so much football, I wouldn't know what to do now"

When I got up this morning, I saw that there were several huge veins visible under the skin at that area Thankfully all that has disappeared now, but it was quite scary.

I haven't completely caught up on the thread either but thought I'd better post before I drop off the threads I'm on page.
I am finding all the news really distressing at the moment. Jade Goody, Natasha Richardson, The Fritz (sp?) case, the woman and her daughter who were found in the lake. Its awful!! I don't want to watch telly or read the papers. I'm so emotional.

Polony that is awful and I can imagine why you felt like stabbing her!!

Cheers Febes. News is tricky I agree.

I'm just going to sit here and try not to worry. I have a bad feeling my DP is going off on a mega bender tonight and I'm not sure it won't make me very hurt/ mad. He is usually great but sometimes has these benders and I've seen him walking the tower bridge wall when he's in a silly drunken mood so I get frantic if he doesn't come home at a reasonable hour. He's let me know that he's gone to the pub tonight, and I know I'm supposed to trust him but I just have a yucky feeling. I rang after I got his text to ask if he could keep his phone in earshot if possible, you know - just in case - but he obviously can't hear it because he's not answering. I know I'm really on edge with the hormones at the moment so am likely to be being very irrational which is why I'm not sure I'll be able to keep things in perspective if he doesn't end up back until tomorrow morning. I'm already having bad thoughts and its only a quarter to 8! Whats on telly...

I don't know Dandy. He doesn't do benders in halves, he's not a regular down the pub with his mates kinda guy (have suggested that might be a better option than the blow outs) - the signs of him leading up to a bender have been there I suppose. I just wish I could stay calm about it but I'm way too emotional today for that.

Jael - hope your dd gets better soon. There;s nothing more worrying than when our wee uns are unwell. jelly, icecream - anything she fancies!!

Polony - ! nice person!! think I'd have hit them too... I generally think those assessments are non-individual. When I'm filling out the questionaire for my Incapacity Benefit the 'incapacities' they list don't really apply to me directly - yet with prolapsed discs in my neck there are daily living tasks I struggle with, and the pains/inabilities etc change from day to day.

I'm away to have a bath and then I'm going to bed. Absolutely knackered at the moment and I don't know how those of you who are trying to continue to work up to 36 or so weeks keep going. At least last night DH acknowledged how tired and uncomfortable he has noticed I've become over the past few days!

Evening all!

Polony - hope your DH doesn't go on a bender tonight, please try not to worry. Re nappies, we dry them (various shaped nappies, including quick flips like blotted) indoors on wet summer days, they're just on the airer in the bathroom. Yes, they do take a bit longer than days on the line, but they've never gone rancid! We're coming up to 2 years of cloth use and no major problems.

Llaregub - good news about your vbac! Hope everything else is ok too.

Jael - hope your DD is better soon. It's such a worry, isn't it.

I had my appointment with the anaesthetist today. I'm actually planning a home birth but because my dad has a problem with some drugs that can be genetic (but I've never been tested), one of the MWs I've seen wanted to refer me in case I need a crash section at any point. The appointment was interesting in that I got a good explanation of the problem and the drugs, but inconclusive in that all they can do is put a huge sticker on the front of my notes to avoid these drugs. The anaesthetist actually spent longer discussing DD's name (Welsh, and unusual where we live!) with the student midwife who was sitting in.

I got cramp the night before last too. Fortunately I managed to stop it before it got too bad, but my leg was tender all day. I'm almost too scared to move or stretch in bed now in case I start it off again.

DH has got to go away again for work next week, boo! Only a few days fortunately, but I am so tired and it's always so busy when he's away. Sorry, more wallowing!

Hello everyone - wanted to comment on stuff but I am soooo tired this evening, had a busy day at work, then knackered myself out at yoga, and the baby I think did a massive somersault or something weird, but it bloody hurt. Erg. Early to bed tonight for me.

I can't wait to finish work, and am SO unmotivated, just like you spangle. Not only have I had to completely write a new job description for my mat leave cover person (its going down a grade and part time) -it has taken my manager 3 emails and 2 months to bother to reply to me this week - now I have to design the bloody advert. Tomorrow I have a fun filled day of stuffing envelopes to send to parents with tons of info and to sign consent forms for their child's details to be on a database, blah blah blah. Zzzzzzzzz....

.... plus my dp is in a huff with me and I have no idea why. Grrrrrr. I want to go to sleep for a few months.....

Morning all. I am really winding down at work, as i'm not getting involved in new projects and just finishing things off, doing electronic filing (so people can find documents when i'm off!), and organising recruitment (my job-share has a new job so my team will really struggle without both of us). I only have 12 more days in the office, and i can't wait to finish- the last 2 days i can't get comfy in my chair- back and bump ache

Polony hope your DH was in a reasonable state when he got home.

jael hope your DD is on the mend. My DS will only eat jelly when he's off colour!

dandy- good luck with the nighttime training- I'm sure DD was just weeing in the morning. Expect a few accidents at first- we use those disposable bed sheets to avoid the washing, although she hasnt had an accident for months now.

Morning!

I'm clearly nesting, we spent a good three hours last night going through more toyboxes belonging to the kids. We've suddenly realised that DD has very little by way of age appropriate toys and we've also culled another two binbags of broken and just crap toys from the boys' bedroom - our rubbish gets picked up tomorrow and we now have an additional 13 binbags on top of our regular wheelie bin uplift.

I'm fuming about the waste, actually! At least I'll never have to do this again though.

Thanks all. First for the nappy advice, thats quite reassuring, have been managing to slightly obsess over that one on and off. And also for the other things - DP came home in a strange state - never mind reasonable. We didn't fight though, thank god for MN and I rang his best mate for a chat because I knew he'd make me see some reason and that worked a treat. Poor bugger's in there with a migraine now.

Sausage - my baby has been going nuts as well (I keep being reminded of Derick Zoolander trying to fish his pants out of his trousers) - and DP has seemed in one of those undefined huffs lately...is this a 30 week things as well?? Honestly, I swear I've been behaving myself...

Flippineck I had a consultation with the anaesthetist at my hospital for the same sort of reasons. I did find it fabulous - I always feel a lot better when I have proper information about these things apart from anything else (I think this is the way it should be with medicine, that they don't treat you like an idiot and explain properly how the medicine actually works). But it is disconcerting having to rely ultimately on the notes he's made. I haven't planed a homebirth, although I would like to because I think that is the best way to minimise your chances of having to be given those drugs, of course statistically you're less likely to have a c section if you have a homebirth - only thing is I'd have to change hospitals because I'm no longer in the catchment for the one I'm currently with and I'm not sure whether I want to change my care now that I've finally reached a point where I sort of trust the care I've got...to be continued...

Morning everyone. Hope you all slept well and didn't get woken up by cramp - so far I've escpaed it so fingers crossed it stays that way!

Polony glad your dh came home in one piece and without stressing you out too much.

And Blotted impressed with your bin bags! Not surprised how it all stacks up though I must say, even with only 1 dd I'm amazed how much crap many beloved playthings she has amassed in little over a year and and a half!

Well I have woken up in a much better mood today and after an easy commute am much more relaxed - I was really fed up yesterday! Pula actually my employer can't dictate when I leave, it's entirely up to me - I am also that he's behaving as if he can. It's just that I knew from the begining it would be hard to replace me and offered to be flexible if it helped, in an effort to manage the whole process with goodwill. Unfortunately from his side it's been nothing but bad will, and to not know what I'm doing within possibly 2 weeks of having to leave is taking the p*** a bit! Having woken up with a slightly less emotional and frustrated view on things, I am thinking of just biting the bullet and putting all my leave requests in on Monday anyway. Not sure whether it's fortunate or unfortunate that my direct boss is absolutely lovely and is convinced he will struggle without me, so although he's very understanding he wants me to stay for as long as possible!

Anyway, I've wasted enough words on all that for a sunny day like this! I hope spring has arrived in the UK (or wherever you all may be!) too!

Have a lovely day Euromum. Its lovely here too, again. I don't know whether I hope your employer has a child and a wife of his own or not, so that perhaps one day he gets some idea of how it is - probably not, doesn't sound like the type to think beyond his own nose. Its so frustrating when you go out of your way to accomodate someone else and they not only don't appreciate it but rub it in your face. What a twat.

Goodmorning

I can walk today (ended up crawling last night with my back), I'm wearing a short sleeved blouse, the sun is shining and have just noticed my butter is best before a week after I'm due

Morning everyone

Gosh it's taken me ages to read all the pages i've missed over the last few days!

jael sorry to hear your dd has been so poorly but very glad to hear she's been able to keep a small amount of food etc in now. Really hope she's feeling her normal self very soon, I know how worried i get when DS is poorly and it's just awful to watch them go through it.

Happy birthday/anniversary to those i've missed too.

We've not even got the potty training stage with DS yet so i'm no good with any night time advice but i'm definitely going to check out the hippychick sheets for our bed asap (waters breaking protection).

runningmonkey keeping everything crossed for your house sale... hang in there.

belgian good luck with the interview.

llareggub hope your palpitations have settled

polony the blue badge assessment sounds totally inane how can their set up compare to daily life?! Glad your DP came home without worrying you too much...
Love everyone's recent bump pics... you've reminded me i must take some more too.

This week has been so hectic... house hunting/viewing in full swing, been keeping ds going to his normal activities/groups, selling and posting stuff on ebay, organising my mums shopping & had what turned out to be a long midwife appointment on monday...

I too have started getting excruciating leg cramps... my right calf is still sore from the one on tues morning that woke me up and had me leaping out of bed albeit crippled!

At my MW app on monday i discovered my satisfactory/no treatment needed iron result (according to snippy doctors receptionist grr) is in fact borderline anaemic and i've started iron tablets. MY blood pressure is low again so that explains my dizzyness. My bump strain/discomfort when walking has been very uncomfortable over the last week or so she's referring me to the physio for a girdle but unfortunately she just works part-time so it may be a while before i can see her. Lastly my bump measured over my weeks for the 2nd appointment running. At 28wks i measured 29 and this time i measured 33 at 31wks. She's brought my next app forward a week so she can measure me again in 2wks. If it's over then too she said i'd properly have to go for a growth scan... does anyone know what they'll do if LO is larger than expected for my weeks at this late stage? do they bring my due date forward even though i have measured normally until 28wks. or will they just suggest a cs instead of my VBAC?

Hi everyone

FiKelly.
I was just reading about your measurements you shouldn't worry too much, at 32wks I was measuring 37cm and We've had 2 growth scans so far but the baby is a good healthy size but not too big [5lb approx at 33wks]. They think it's the way we are carrying this time way I'm so big!!!! I hope they are right

thanks bantam that's good to know. In a way i am hoping i do end up getting sent for a growth scan as it will be lovely seeing LO at such a late stage... never had any scans after 20wks with ds.