Due November 2008 - hang on a minute, that's NEXT MONTH! Yikes!

[ruthosaurus]

Not that it'll even BE November by the time we run out of space on this thread...

I've just had a really shit appointment and know I'm in a quandry. Baby has gone head down again which is great and will explain the horrific back pain rom last night. I saw the consulatant who could barely speak english and quite frankly was not listening to my worries. They have said that there is no reason for me not to have a VBAC and did I understand the risks of a cs - erm yes funnily enough I have been thinkning about it for 8 months now.
I gave up the will to fight and I have to let them know tommorow what I want to do. I feel like such a frad having a cs i there is no reason but I don't want to end up in the same situation I was in with DS with 3 drips and no mmoy whatsoever of his birth. People keep telling me its my decision but I don't want it to be, I don't know what to do.
Sorry for the me post

Aw, Buzz, poor thing. Your consultant sounds crap. Dunno what else to say apart from [[[[[hugs]]]]]]] Is anyone else there with you right now?

Hana how very lovely and thoughtful of your colleagues Enjoy your last day aswell!

Daisy wow, how fab to have your DH at home all that time - am v !

Sparks am totally with you on the 'can't be bothered' front - I have set myself one task to do today (it seems easier) which is to bag up all my maternity clothes from last time which haven't fitted this time round but we got out of the loft about 6 months ago and never put back - they are off to a charity shop asap as are the rest of my maternity clothes once I have finished with them. I usually find though once I start doing one task, I just carry on (or that is the idea anyway) but obviously have to fit in my afternoon nap aswell

Been to the MW - half an hour from door to door and back again - how quick is that?? Anyway, all is fine - bump is 34cm and am 34 weeks so all good

Right, really must go and unload the dishwasher and make my lunch

ladybuzz so sorry it was so crap and you are feeling rubbish now - did your SIL come with you? The first consultant I saw about my brth options could barely speak English either - which really doesn't help the situation at all.

I am in exactly the same situation as there is no reason for me to have a cs other than because I want one - don't feel a fraud as it is your baby, your body and go with whatever you are comfortable with. Obviously it has to be your decision but do you have a 'gut' feeling for what you want? If so, go with that as that is what I am doing.

Ladybuzz, I can SO relate to your dilemma. I always said that I would let the babies decide on cs or VB depending on their position. At 34 wk scan, twin 1 was breech and consultant recommended cs, so was all booked in. I felt relieved that decision had been made for me, though also scared about what cs entails, but felt like no choice really. Now, they scanned babies on Monday and I think they have swapped. The had down baby is now nearest the cervix and the other baby is transverse up the top. SO I could go for natural birth again. Just got head round cs though and can't bear to wait any longer. They could maybe induce me on the same day I was going to have cs. Dh told me he thinks I should go natural and wait till 38 weeks. THANKS DH. You are not living with the nightly trauma of not sleeping or the constant itching and swollen feet. My lower stomach has actually changed colour now to dark red, it is one big stretchmark, how yuck is that?! Anyway, got a Friday appointment with cons, will see what it brings up, but I am definitely feeling like it has to be cs on 22nd.

Lacks, great news about your dh! Whopeee.

MonkeyM, must be so hard with neighbour. Think it's wonderful you do actually talk about it, and that Dh talked about it with her etc. It's hard to know if she wants you to avoid her or whether that would make it worse for her. I guess if you let her know that you'd be willing for her to come.

I have posted an urgent name dilemma on names thread. Please, please go and see and comment...I am panicking about names now!

ladybuzz, although the consultant is right and there is no clinical reason for you not to attempt a VBAC, they have to take your wishes into consideration. What they are doing is following the guidelines that say VBAC is safer than a repeat CS so in that repsect, it's good that they are. However, from all the research that I've done on the subject and given that you have had a previous CS you should be given the choice and not told that you should have a VBAC. Psychological reasons for a CS are just as valid as medical ones IMO.

Have a look at caesarean uk for further advice and information.

You could always start a thread on here, but be aware that the anti CS lobbyists might give you a hard time!

MerryM....i think you are probably doing the right thing. fine, baby 1 is head down and can be delivered naturally, but if for whatever reason the other baby can't be delivered naturally (and I understand this is quite common with twins) then you could end up with a CS for that one. So you will have ahd a full labour and delivery followed by a CS. Having done that with DS (exceot for the delivery) and then had an elective with DD; I know which one was better from a tiredness and general well being point of view. And I only had one baby to look after each time!

Good luck with your appointment anyway.

Ahh thanks guys, I felt like such a whiner
I was even able to take myself off back to bed and managed a couple of hours. DD just wakes up and plays, she has taken to demanding a book in her bed at night, which she reads in the morning. Well, sort of, being only 2 I doubt she is actually reading but it is funny to walk in and see her sitting up in the cot with a book across her lap and a huge grin in her face
Still a smitten kitten, moi?

No ceebee this is certainly not new behaviour, this is just DH.
I mean he doesn't do nothing, he cooks all our dinners and mainly cleans up afterwards, after working a full day. And sometimes has a cleaning frenzy at the weekends when the place just gets too awful.
But he just hacks me off when he won't do the things I ask of him and then always expects great gratitude for the things he chooses to do.
I would normally just roll my eyes and sigh, knowing him of old, and just do the hedge/cut the grass. But I really don't think that I should be doing these things now, I am meant to be taking care of myself. But you get tired of repeating teh request nicely and he gets tired of hearing it and before you know it I will be shoutingthe demand and he will be shouting that he is not under he thumb and will do it when he is ready. Stale mate. And nothing will be done!
Damned if I damned if I don't!!
bloody Men!!

Missy am guessing that if your DH has always been like that, he ain't going to change now so I really don't know what the answer is.

DS is just like that in bed - I have always left a pile of books/magazines at the bottom of his cot for him and he goes to sleep reading a book and most mornings, he will be sat up 'reading' them. Now it is dark at night and in the mornings, I found a book with a little nightlight on in the shape of a bear's head which gives off quite a good light so he props it up by the side of his pillow so he can use it as a torch and read another book - it is really v v cute (and I can also join the 'still smitten kitten' club )

merry I honestly think you are doing the right thing with a CS. As Daisy said, it would be worse if you deliver one naturally and then the other has to have a cs - again, go with your instinct (and ignore your DH )

What with MN and Scrabble, the dishwasher still isn't unloaded and my lunch is still unmade

Sorry MonkeyM, I didn't make sense. But to say that she is welcome round to see the baby whenever (if you feel that), but that you won't be offended if she doesn't want to.

please commment on names

Morning All,

Ladybuzz good luck today!

missygoo Yikes to DH and hope it sort itself out.

Monkey I am so sorry for the situation you are in. Obviously it is one of those situations no one can do anything about. You can not not show your happiness at the impending birth of your child and the same time your neighbour may be feeling bad that their loss may impose on you and your DH. It is one of those horrible horrible situations. You must just carry on being the sensitive neighbour that you are, however do not allow it to take over from your happiness and when baby arrives I suppose you will have to get on as normal. It may be that initially she is hesitant at seeing it but I am sure she will become very interested in your baby and want to see it grow up. She is probably feeling as awkward as you are about the whole thing.

My only analogy is when i was told i couldn't have children and I cried and cried for days, weeks actually. In the end people were scared to tell me they were pregnant but that made me feel worse. I was totally jealous of them when they did tell me but at the same time I was so happy for them. Hearing my sister was pregnant was the hardest for me, alas 2 months later I was pregnant. I know this can not be compared to losing a child at birth but what I am trying to say is that their time will come and all you can do is carry as normal because i am sure in time she won't want you to do anything other than.

x

It took me so long to write mine there was so much you guys talked about.
I meant to say last night, sorry that you ended up in hospital marigold it is just poo isn't it. I can't beleive your babies might be here next week. I think I agree with going for the cs instead of ending up with both. You would be knackered!!
Also, my heart goes out to you with that horrid sounding rash. I wouldn't blame you at all for being thankful that the end is in sight.

Oh poor you buzz yes, I am with you in that I would rather someone else just told me what to do. Choices!? You do know I am pregnant, I can't make decisions at the best of times!! DH asks me to get dinner and I stand in the supermarket in a panic!! Tell me what I am going to eat that night and I will be very happy.

It is ok I was not looking for answers. DH is not going to change, it is who he is. I call him an 'I'mgunna' or 'wasgunna'. But admit that we can all take those titles every now and again.
I think I will try a gentle demand tonight, if he gets home from work early enough, that I want the grass, at the very least, de-poo'ed.
And, I guess, it is no great hardship for DD and I to walk that 100ft and deal with his bottles. But I will make him feel bad about it

Thanks everyone, I have just phoned my midwife and bust ino tears so she is coming to see me soon for a chat. Hopefully I will be able to make a decision by the time she leaves. Thanks for the support it is much appreciated. Merry hope the consultant cn shed some light on your situation but it wouldbe awful if you had to deliver both ways!

lady what do YOU want to do??? Do you have a gut feeling??? Having had a 3 day labour with DS1 then him going into distress and nearly losing him (were it not for an emergency CS) I opted for a planned CS with DS2. It was an amazing experience, totally unlike a EMC. If this is something your gut is saying to go for I can highly recommend it. If however, your gut is to go for VBAC then I know lots of women who have sucessfully acheived that. Ultimately, it is your choice and what makes you feel better. Keep posting xxxx

Well I am a bit further forward and alot happir then I was earlier.
My lovely MW has been and talked things through, I have to think it over tonight and let her know tomorrow.
She has recommended that I set a date in my mind, any time from 39 weeks as thats when I would get an elcs up to a couple of days past my EDD she will book my in for an elcs on that date and see if anything happens in the meantime. She also wants me to write down what I would want to happen if I went into labour myself and how long I would be happy to labour for before they did a CS.
I guess this is the best all round and would make me feel in control of it all. So i'm going to see her again and g
ive her a date tomorrow!
Thanks for listening everyone

God, so much chat.
Right.....
Rutho, sorry for the hard time I gave you about title. It is FINE. Really. Enjoy last day.
You too Sparkle. Ballooons sound lovely.
MerryM, sorry to hear of changing things and not knowing what to do. Do what is right for you. You are so strong.

LadyBuzz, so sorry to hear of consultant. You too. Do what you want. Glad MW is coming round. If you want VBAC go for it. If you want ELCS, and remmeber , Mine is more ELCS , 'slightly recommended by Prof' than a 'you have to have one', which I do feel guilty about. But my cs last time was so good. If you do decide ot have one, and you too MerryM, I only hope yours is as good as mine.

Don't let NO ONE BULLY you ladies. MerryM and Lady get what you WANT. Be strong ladies.

Obs....your move at scrabble

LadyBuzz, your labour could start to happen naturally. Tomorrow, next week, 39 wks. whatever. AND you could try for VBAC. BUT, you could also ask for elcs, as SOON as you arrived at hospital. You do not need to labour for hours. You can ask for one straight away. There is no shame in that.
I am so pleased that MW was nice to you. Give it lots of thoguth. Let us help you and support you. Then you can tell her what you want, trying to envisage all the different possibilities.

Thankyou ladies you are so kind. Its really nice to have people who are and have been in the same situation that do not make you feel bad. I will have a think and post my decisions later. - After I have played scrabble for a while of course

Thanks so much everyone for your lovely, kind messages. Was feeling rather low yesterday about the neighbour situation, but she e-mailed me again today emphasising how she doesn't want me to start behaving differently after baby is born etc. She is so thoughtful - more concerned about my feelings than her own. I feel better that we will find a way of dealing with it. Seriously, thanks again for your support. And sorry for all of you who have been through MC - only now after the experience of being PG can I imagine how painful it must be to lose a baby.
Lady I hope the MW is able to help talk this through with you. As dozy says, you must go with what YOU feel is right. And MerryM - if one baby is breech, it does seem daft to go through labour and then have to have a C-Section at the end of all that, to deliver baby#2. You should NOT feel guilty about opting for the CS!
hana - that's so sweet of your work colleagues - bless em! I work exclusively with men (my pimps!) so I dread to see what, if anything, they plan for my last day...
Rutho - hope you made it down the boozer for your last work lunch!! Bet you can't WAIT to chillax at home and MN to your heart's content!
Missy - it's good for you to have a good old whinge about your DH. We've certainly had quite a few conversations on this thread in the past about the general uselessness and lazy arse-ness of our partners. On the plus side, I was impressed to see your DH does the cooking and washing up!
Forgotten the rest of what I've read now...agh! PREGNA-BRAIN! When will my normal brain return??

Hey Buzz and Monkey, glad you're feeling more supported there. Merry, good luck pet.

We have a cafe at work, so we went there instead but it was really nice and I got an xmas bib and rattle, a pot of lovely bath crystals and an ickly bunny wabbit rattle, which I may not give to the baby as it is too cute and is therefore mine.

I also got a card with a pciture of a 1930s dairymaid and a cow on, in which one of my lovely but insane colleagues had written "you can sit back, relax and get your breasts ready for milking". Bless 'er. I think. I am also geting through the pile of shit stuff that is my intray but as of tomorrow no longer my life. I also hear that management will be making compulsory redundancies if no-one steps forward for execution. I can't be arsed with it all and they can't sack me cos I'm pregnant.

Ah, I loves ya really, Obs, I'm just a big sad sack of hormones...

Hana how nice of your colleagues and enjoy your afternoon cake !!
Buzz it sounds as if your MW is far better than the consultant and glad that she has been so supportive. Hope it all goes ok
I have Strep B test on Monday so have taken to adding garlic to everything I cook - dh not impressed .
Had a lovely pedicure this pm and had a 10 min massage on each foot - was lovely to see the shape of them again !

Lacks still in over you discussing BJs! Are you referring to our lovely London Mayor, Boris Johnson? no?
And as for Garlic up one's fanjo - well I never! What is this supposed to do? Other than keep one's DH away? please enlighten me somebody!!