Due Sept 2005 - Thread 3

[franch]

here we go

Hello - Question for Sallie & VirtualFairy

I hope you don't mind me joining in, as my EDD is actually October, but I wanted to ask Sallie & Virtual Fairy for their advice.
Apparently I have a choice between C&W and Queen Charlottes, any advice/experiences from either of you will be gratefully received....

Rhumba, I suffer with the same problem with trousers (also 5' 10"). I have found that Topshop do a 36" leg which is almost too long. Also, you can try Long Tall Sally - though they have a fairly limited range. Have also ordereg some GAP maternity jeans from the USA via eBay (but still waiting for them to arrive) - as their long leg length is usually OK for me.
Otherwise, it's a mightmare finding stuff - tried Next, but their extra long leg is only 33" (i.e. ankle) - perhaps tall people aren't meant to be preganant !

Survived trip to TopShop! Selection not much different from online, but good to try stuff on as sizing a bit weird! Great combat trousers I can imagine living in. Didn't get to H&M as very helpfully maternity dept is at Marble Arch - couldn't face it! Also got dh clothes for bday tomorrow, so a great trip. Knackered now though!!

Does anyone know of 'support group' for men suffering birth trauma!? I have typically blanked out most of my birth memories, but dh already getting worried about it - I do remember after ds2 him saying 'I will never let you have to go through that again' - that's why it's taken so long to have no.3!

glad i'm not the only one having problems over MA and benefits.........am self employed and have not been paying NI contributions. we did check if paying them would entitle me to anything and was told it would make no difference so we decided not to pay them.........now i have read somewhere that there are two levels of MA and as i have not been making NI contributions i am only entitled to the lower one.

am having real problems making head or tail of most of the info (and FIL is accountant etc, he can't make sense of it either) so looks like a trip to CAB may be in order.

i see i'm not the only one having problems over MA and benefits.........am self employed and have not been paying NI contributions. we did check if paying them would entitle me to anything and was told it would make no difference so we decided not to pay them.........now i have read somewhere that there are two levels of MA and as i have not been making NI contributions i am only entitled to the lower one.

am having real problems making head or tail of most of the info (and FIL is accountant etc, he can't make sense of it either) so looks like a trip to CAB may be in order.

oeerrrrrr my computer had a hissy fit then as i was changing that first bit............

Hmm, I wonder where I stand over MA. I'm self employed too - have been paying NI but have earned next to nothing over the past year (too busy with DD!) - certainly haven't done 6 weeks' work! I guess I'll work it all out nearer the time.

andif, the birth trauma association website says on its "who suffers from birth trauma?" page: "men who witness their partner?s traumatic childbirth experience may also feel traumatised as a result."

Also - this looks like a very useful document about subsequent births after a traumatic one.

God I had a bad day today. Mum's gone back to Scotland for a whole WEEK and although DH was around more than usual today I really felt like I couldn't cope. It's been a couple of months since I've had to look after DD completely on my own and I feel like I'm starting all over again. Expected to feel fine by now but of course I don't, plus I hardly got any sleep last night (on the phone to Mum who'd just had her handbag nicked ), and DD of course picked today to start doing all the things she knows she's not allowed to do and hasn't shown any interest in doing for months (pulling on dangerous cables, the TV, etc). Ended up with her dumped in her playpen, screaming, while I sat in the hallway and sobbed my heart out. What a scene. I honestly can't remember how I coped before - how I got things done during the day - I suppose I did some of them during DD's naps, whereas now I just want to sleep when she sleeps.

Anyway although I wasn't sick today I've had yet another day of feeling heartily sorry for myself! Remind me when I'm going to start blooming, again??

Oh Franch, sorry you had such an awful day, I really hope it gets better soon.
As for MA if you have been self employed and paying your NI contributions then I think you should be OK - have you made anything over the past year at all, I think it has to be above a certain level but it's low? They take an average from any 13 weeks work inthe 66 weeks before the baby is born - I think it's either 90% of your average salary or £100 a week depending on which is less.
Moschops, I only scanned it but it didn't seem to mention NI contributions at all, just that you had to be registered at the IR - which I presume you are for tax purposes.
MA

Thanks zubb

I see the site says you have to earn a min of £30 a week - I only did about 1 day's work last year but if you spread that out over 52 weeks it still comes to more than £30 a week, so somehow or other I should be able to wangle it!

Spent last night & this morning throwing up & on the loo with a virus of some sort. Felt terrible today. Couldn't get older dds to school as unwell so had the day with my three little ones. Feel exhausted now but slightly better as have managed some toast & tea. Have a check up tomorrow with scan!! - last time had big probs with nuchal neck, cvs & amnio (difficult time but found out dd was ok when I was 19 wks). Just hope everything will be ok. Best wishes to all.

It's not just tall people who have problems with maternity wear. I am a size 20 and usually shop in evans. I asked if they do a maternity range and they looked at me as if i was daft. They suggested i try dorothy perkins but their sizes come up to small. They only place i have found so far is mothercare and i don't think i will get through to the end in their clothes as the sizes aren't that generous and get rather large up front. Any suggestions for the larger lady?

OMG I had a really vivid dream last night...at least I hope it was a dream!!! I had triplets!! I do wish they would hurry up an send me my scan date through!!

Franch - sorry to hear you had such a bad day yesterday, hopefully today will be better for you

Reenabeena
I have been very happy with the care I get at Chelsea & Westminster. I have had domino care but with my ds and dd I was delivered by hospital midwives because my community team are very short-staffed. The antenatal care was very good. The only downside is that I didn't find the post-natal ward very nice - a bit dirty and noisy. However, this didn't really bother me as both times I was up and out within a few hours of giving birth. Don't know much about Charlottes - but it also has a good reputation. Why don't you go and look around both. Also do bear in mind the journey from your house to hospital. I nearly had dd (no2) in the car so was glad we were going to C&W rather than struggling up the Fulham Palace Road and through Shepherds Bush to QC! C&W is good for shopping!!!

Reenabeena,
i have not yet had an appointment at queen charlottes so i am unsure what its like, i have heard good things about it though which is why i chose it over c&w and st marys, and also because it has a birthing centre which fingers crossed i can have a nice intervention free birth. i will post more info on queen charlottes after my booking appointment on the 17th.
here are some links that i found useful
have a look at
cw v qc
qc v ealing
qc postnatal

I had two births at C&W and didn't have any intervention either time - the staff in the labour ward were very supportive and I was really impressed by the standard of care. My dh is a doctor and knows both hospitals and preferred me to go to C&W firstly because of the travelling time but also because they have very good paeds/neonatal care in case it becomes necessary.

Thanks yokefleet. Threw up last night and this morning but today going better so far - touch wood.

milward - BEST of luck for your scan today. So sorry to hear you've been ill.

It's freezing here but the sun is shining - hope it lasts - going to finally take poor DD out this afternoon to the library - haven't changed her books since Dec

Aah thought I was past the sicky phase, and then threw up yesterday! Rang in sick at work (as this happened 20mins before I was supposed to leave for work) and got a right mouthful from Queen B*tch at work (not the manager, but her more grisly junior!!)... I did explain that you don't always get much warning of feeling sick etc, but I don't think it did much good... aah and I'm back to work tomorrow, and am rostered to do 8 days in a row with no day off... which is over 70 hours!! Nice! Fortunately I am going to occupational health on monday, so hopefully things might change after that! If not, I am seriously considering going to the trade union or someone more senior...

Hope everyone else is getting over the sicky phase! [incidentally, i DO feel better today!]

Had scan today at 10wks & 5 days!!. Size ok but nuchal measurement too big at 2.4mm. My last dd had a nuchal scan of 5mm at 11 wks & she was ok but was a worrying time. Had a blood test to combine with nuchal test as well today & will get results next friday. Trying not to think about this as the time will pass & the results will be here soon enough. Have another scan booked in two weeks to check on this. Also a blood test shows I've had a cmv infection recently. Have had a bit of a cold so this is probably it. Cmv can be a prob in preg so the scan will check on this as well. At least not throwing up today from the virus I've had

Mummyhill have you checked in H&M for maternity - seem to remember they do a wide size range plus good styles.

milward - hope that the blood test results point in the right direction.

Thanks Zubb - Hope all is going well for you

Milward - hoping you get a reasurring blood test result.

Ladylazarus - Your work situation just sounds dire. Are they allowing you to lie down and have a rest during your shifts (you're entitled to that) I cannot beleive you work in a caring medical profession in yet are being treated the way you are. Tiredness itself can contribute to nausea. I hope you get some better support from Occupational Health. Good luck.

Will try the trip into the Bull Ring in Birminghamn then as my local H&M doesn't do maternity wear.

Ladylazarus Good luck with occy health If not then i would definatly advise going to trade union or someone higher I am sure they cannot expect you to work those kind of hours whilst you are pregnant. Have you double cheked on the maternity alliance web site? Can't remeber if you mentioned it or not and don't have time to read through the whole thread at the moment.

I have an appointment with our personnel manager on saturday morning and intend toi raise the issue of the amount of stress I am being caused by the fact that they want to do an investigation into my absence levels and explain to her that as it is related to my pregnancies past and present I don't understand why they feel it necessary to threaten me with a disciplinary. I am still amazed at the attitude of employers with regard to pregnancy.

On another note GP has recomended I have my blood sugar levels checked. Is this standard? or should i be worrying?

I can't believe how badly i have typed the last post. Hope it is legible!!! To think I used to type 90 words a minute with 99% accuracy. Either its pregnancy mushing my brains or I have spent too much time working outside of an office environment!

Thanks Beatie. Good luck mummyhill for your shopping trip. My local h&m doesn't do maternity - crazy. I have to go into the city as well but difficult with little ones in tow! Best wishes to all getting issues at work sorted out. I worked in my forst preg. Very tiring. Had no probs getting time off for appointments after found out my boss was downloading porn onto my pc in the evnings!! Never told anyone & he respected this discretion. What a situation.

Off to my scan. Feeling very nervous - I am hoping this is just normal going to 12 week scan nerves.

Will update on my return.