Due October 2008 - getting bigger by the day!

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Can't sleep won't sleep's List copied here for usefulness

29th Sept perkypopsy first baby smile Surprise
29th Sept WombFor1More 2 ds's 1 dd Boy
30th Sept Aubergenie first baby smile Surprise
30th Sept sambrads 1 ds 28th May
30th Sept buttercupbabe 1 ds
1st CantSleepWontSleep 1 dd Boy
1st accessorizequeen 2 ds's Twins shock - one of each
1st loulou33 1 ds Surprise (or home testing kit!)
2nd MrsBish 1 dc
2nd snowymum first baby smile Boy
2nd 1sttimer80 first baby smile Surprise. Hydronephrosis discovered. Extra scan at 28 weeks planned.
2nd Jane7 first baby smile
3rd SydneyB 1 dd
4th minervaitalica first baby smile Surprise (unintentionally!)
4th hedgepig 1 ds Surprise
4th pistachio 1 dc
4th annwoo 2 dc Surprise
5th myjobismum 1 ds Surprise
5th rosebury 3 ds's 2 dd's Boy
6th Bethoo 1 ds Girl
6th fairydust2 1 dd
6th iuseantiageingstuff 2 ds's 1 dd Boy
6th ronshar 2 dd's Surprise (with dangly bits wink)
7th belgo 2 dd's
8th kookiegoddess first baby smile
8th Alexa808 first baby smile
8th Ksal first baby smile Surprise
8th f1nut 3 dc
10th Lozza70 first baby smile Surprise
10th emkay 1 dd
10th pepperrabbit 2 ds's 6th June
11th Sprogstersmum 1 dd
12th chicken78 1 dd
12th star6 first baby
12th milfakamonkeymonkeymoomoo 1 dd
12th immo first baby smile
13th Lesley21
14th tedmundo 1 ds 29th May
14th twinklytoes 2 dd's Boy
14th BubbaAndBump 1 dd
15th mum2jakeyroo 2 ds's 28th May
15th fanvampbooks 1 dd
15th toomuchtimeonline first baby smile
16th moodywren 1 dd 2 ds's Boy
16th bigmouthstrikesagain 1 ds 1 dd 9th June
19th MrsTittleMouse 1 dd
19th rach010 1 ds 3rd June
20th 07mumstheword 1 dc 10th June
20th AandMsmum 2 dd's 3rd June
20th KnickersOnMaHead 1 dd
20th jenwa 1 dd 5th June
20th firsttimer08 first baby smile 16th June
21st hansnava 1 dd
21st rowanmac 1 ds Surprise
21st caramelbunny 1 dd
21st jess1996 first baby smile
22nd SmudgeyDoodle 1 ds 16th June
22nd ellensmelons 1 dd
23rd Sallypuss first baby smile 17th June
23rd Emmsy1 3 ds's 1 dd 9th June
24th sparklesandnowinefor9months 3 ds's 1 dd 13th June
25th Flum 2 dd's
26th gem1981 1 ds
26th oliviaelanasmum/4andnotout 3 dd's 16th June
26th born2twinkle 1 ds
26th mariekg 3 dc 4th June
28th UmSami 1 ds
29th Ekka 1 dd 23rd June
29th BabyDubsEverywhere 1 ds
30th Jambers99 1 ds 10th June
30th ChilledBunny ?? 12th June
Nov coolkat 1 dd

Emmsy You have nothing to feel ashamed or guilty about. I am sure many of us have family members who have done things which we know are wrong. I certainly have my own story and I have gone through feeling ashamed and guilty over it but there is nothing I could have done to change it (although its taken me a long time to come to that conclusion).
I changed my whole life to get away from the past, and while its still there, as time passes it does become easier. I understand why you felt the need to tell us, I often feel guilty that the friends I have made in my new life don't know about my past but I am scared that they wouldn't understand and wouldn't want to know me anymore. I guess I am just not brave enough to risk peoples reaction. I admire you for having the strength to open up to us.

Emmsy There is alot of pressure on you here. I really think you sould say that it is abit too much and you will have to cut the driving down. Is he still with his wife/partner? Does she not drive?
It is very hard when it is family as it is expected you do things and you probably have done more as a feeling of guilt (which you should not feel.)
Why dont you speak direct to your brother as he will probably be fine with you as its the rest of the family who are more likely to feel sorry for him. He will understand and as he has children will know what pressure you are under too.
I know what has happened is difficult but you also have a family to look after full time so you cant be expected to be the one they rely on.
xxx

Emmsy - I don't know the distances involved, but could each person who is concerned about him pay for him to get a cab for the journey once a month or so, and you maybe just drive once a month? Not fair that you are out of pocket both in money and time terms. You may have encouraged his actions a little, but no-one forced him to do what he did. He knew it was wrong and that he would be punished if caught, and cannot blame anyone else for his actions.

moodywren - intrigued now, but guess you are not going to spill!

CSWS I am not as strong as Emmsy and have dealt with my past by running away and hiding I no longer see my family or my old friends. I would be too scared of what people would think of me. And one day I might want to go to a meet up I would never be able to do that if people knew.

The thing is when a someone close to you does something bad and goes to prison they arenot the ones who suffer. Its the people who are left behind that have to deal with the shame and the feeling that everyone is talking about them, the press coverage, local tv and the front page of the local paper. When there are children involved you also have the social workers to deal with and on top of all that you have to try and sort out your own feelings and your own life.

Emmsey I just looked on your profile an saw you are in Merseyside its zillions to i'm assuming Sudbury in Suffolk (well almost). No wonder you are exhausted petal, which will not be helping how you feel about all this. I wish I could think of an quick fix for you but you have so much pressure. Would your mom understand more if you were to say your GP has said that much driving is too much for you? If you think she may, you could talk to the gp, you could just say family issues are causing you to have to do this much driving if you don't want to go into details.

hedgepig hmp sudbury is in Derbyshire, it takes about 4 hours there and back with stops for pregnant wee's!unless you go the wrong way!

jenwa his wife doesn't drive but her dad does, brother has said he wouldn't ask him for anything.CSWS Never thought of enquiring about cab fare. It cost my mum £40 one way to Manchester Airport and its still quite some distance from there, so possibly double that, can't see family members forking out that much every month. Mum offered me £7 towards petrol last week, I told her that she needed to give me at least £10 to help out. my sister also gave £10 towards the cost. I actually put £50 in last week but I had driven nearly 1 & 1/2 hours more than I should have I have a zafira so it seems to eat the petrol. Will def make enquiries about a cab though, as would like to at least put the idea to mum
moodywren sorry that you have been through a bad time with family etc... I think your very brave to break away, sometimes wish I could take my family and vanish, haven't got the courage to do that though. Yes you are all right,I have been guilt ridden for the last 2 years, I tried to talk to my brother about the expense and time I have to give up but he seems to have a way about him that he always makes me feel sorry for him. He mentions things like "at least I get to spend 7 hours with my kids" and "I have asked the other family members not to send me any money for toiletries etc... but to give it to you towards the cost" It doesn't work like that, and we only have 1 wage (a porters wage!) coming in at the moment. Just feel he is taking advantage. I have given his wife alot of money to help her out with her children over the last couple of years,feel like my family are all suffering because of it,we are getting more and more into debt. This seems to be my sentence, cant wait for him to get parole next year!

HIya all,

Emmsy - can the prison service not pay for some/all of his trips home or social work, maybe?? What about prisoners who don't have family members who drive - there must be some funds somewhere to help them out with fares. How about he gets national xpress as that's nowhere near as expensive as cab/your petrol/your time and stress? it seems really unfair on you to have to drive all that way when no one else is sharing the 'burden'....

had my 28 week check up and next one is at 33 weeks! they are determined that i am gong to get GD again as have to be tested again at 32 weeks if this one is negative!
fundal height was at 26cm instead of 28 but then i think that is thye way she was lying and am not worried as ds was a good size and weight and my bump was tidy.
the time is flying, cant believe i have ony 12 weeks to go!!!

Emmsy - it may be blunt but can you just not say you cant afford it and you have other priorities. it seems unfair that they are expecting you of all people to do this journey. they sound very selfish, willing to give you a couple of quid but not actually offering to do a journey or two. i have not read the other thread but do not feel bad for what happened as you cant be accountable for another persons actions. dont know full story so not saying too much.

Morning ladies! loulou and bethoo thanks for your comments, I have taken them on board, and will be making enquiries!

I don't understand why we don't get to see the mw as often these days, is it purely down to the lack of mw's?? I am quite old, over 40, I have had 2 prev consec m/c's and have had a child born at term that weighed under 5 lb (also carrier of strep B) and there are twins in my family, I had my first appt at 10 weeks +4 days, was told that you can't get early scans now regardless of situation, then I was 20 wks+4 before my 2nd appt.My next appt will be on 18th aug, I will be 30wks +4 as going away when I hit 28 weeks, wasn't allowed to book before. What happens then will I be seen 4 wkly? worried that if they don't pull their socks up, something could go wrong I was also hoping to attend some ante-natal classes this time round, as last went 7 years ago,thing's have probably changed since then and I always seem to 'cock up' the breathing ,when it comes to the labour.
That's all the moaning I am going to do today! Everyone try and have a lovely weekend xx

back from the next sale. not impressed at the lack of baby boys clothes - only bought some winter hats and a jumper. the girls did better but still not much that I really liked.

Emmsy i went to parent classes last year and to be honest they have changed from years ago as i discovered that they no longer teach breathing techniques, claiming they teach you during labour whcih in my opinion is too late since by then you are doubled over in pain holding your breath fighting to force yourself to breath slowly!
these days the mw like to see you after 10weeks due to the risk of m/c dramatically declining after that so i guess they see that it saves time and apps if the ones who have early m/c do not book in. sounds horrible but it is true. becasue i had no symptoms early on my mw who i bumped into at 6weeks said it sounded like i had reabsorded the pregnancy and to take a test near 10weeks then if poss to book an app. when i did it was booked and had to squeeze me in otherwise would not have got my 12 week scan.

hello ladies
twinklytoes i did my next sale shopping on the internet this morning, but they had nothing at all for new born baby (unisex) got a pair of mat 3/4 length jeans a breast feeding top and set of three mat tops for £25. might brave the shop on monday

feeling exhausted today. dd has been poorly since tuesday with ear infection and viral infection so she hasnt been sleeping which means i havent been sleeping. shes feeling better today but hasnt stopped talking since 6am and its driving me mad lol i feel like my head is tighter and tighter so ive put her to bed early (is that bad of me). dp has gone out tonight so i just want a bit of peace and quiet and maybe an early night. i will make it up to her tomorrow.

hope everyone else is ok

hi ladies have been flat out this week .

i will be 30 weeks on tuesday its madness how quick time is going.

my cousin husband has just died all my family are saying that i should not go to the funeral as its bad luck but i really feel like i should go i need to go .

does anyone else think that its bad luck i am sure nothing will happen the baby just because i go ??

i think it will be really silly me phoning the mw and asking them .

hansnava i have been a grump too and feel terrible when i am grouchy with ds. i was throwing up again on thurs and it is hard throwing up in the bathroom and ds is stood crying at the babygate. the only con of being a single parent is times like these.

still stumped for names and only 11 weeks to go.

sambrads never heard that before. if you want to go then i would go.

sambrads - thoughts with you. I attended the funerals of DH's grandmother and SIL's MIL whilst pg with dd2. nobody questioned bad luck and they are the most superstitous family I know.

Hi everyone
Im lagging behind everyone and will be a mere 26 weeks tommorow. Had a few BH last week which brought back the memories of the discomfort of late pregnancy
DD3 will be 10 months tommorow, and is up on her feet and trying to walk so i fear she will be runnning rings round me by october
Have picked the pushchair and will order it in a few more weeks, that is the only thing we have to buy as all of dd3's clothes are in excellent condition, so she can use them and we obviously already have the cot,crib,etc. It's all a bit of an anticlimax really, although will be ordering some cute nappies soon for her as our council offer us £30 cashback if we spend £45 on cloth nappies.

what buggy have you picked?

We had to go foe the graco stadium duo as dd3 will only be 13 months and we have a tiny boot and cant fit anything else in! On the plus side it is only £116 brand new which dp approves of! I wanted the phil & teds in pink camo but he wasn't swayed by the colour like i was

hi bethoo
i havent even started to think of names. well thats a lie there are some girls names i like but when it comes to boys names im completly clueless i dont even know where to start. i keep going on july threads to get ideas but none of them take my fancy. i think its coz im so sure its a girl (boys dont run in my family, out of 20 great grand kids theres 3 boys) im not really concerntrating on boys names.
that will bite me on the arse when lo pops out with a little winky

sambrads I never have heard it being bad luck to go to a funeral. Maybe it goes back to medieval times when pg ladies shouldn't look at anything bad in case it somehow damages their baby.
I have a long list of names (about 20 M & F), but it is buried under the sofa somewhere, it is so different second time around. We had named ds by 20 weeks last time (but we knew his sex, decided not to this time).

Also never heard of it being bad luck, but it would just be a silly superstition anyway wouldn't it, so go if you want to.

Down to a choice of 3 names here, but we do have a front runner of Duncan Elliot.

thanks ladies so much for the reassurance it must be a silly old wives tale

i think they also say you should not see a dead body but i already have as i was pregnant when my uncle died but did not know.

i am sure the only problem going to a funeral when pregnant is if you yourself into a real stste and that would not be good for the baby

i feel like i have already got myself in a state today as dh is a lazy !!!!!

he has been off all week and has not lifted a finger . i dont work so i do most of the housework anyway but now he has got to the point were he does nothing!!!

it takes him about 1 hour to clean the bathroom how stupid is that i really dont know whta the hell he does i think he does it for me to say look i will do it alot quicker !!!
if i ask him to brush and mop down stairs it takes 2 hours yes 2 hours!!!!!!
he takes everything out then brushes then mops one room then sits and watches tv til it dries then he mops another then sits and watchs tv til it dries i swear it cracks me up .

on a happier note i have ordered the maclaren twin truimph its only £125 and folds brill