Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Birth clubs

Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

Due Novermber 2008 - Let's here it for the BFP's!

1000 replies

Heartmum2Jamie · 25/02/2008 15:15

After a bit of cajoling from some friends (some of whom I hope can join me here soon), I decided to take the plunge and start this thread.

Anyway, I have just found out I am pregnant again, got a BFP on Saturday 23rd at 12dpo, which gives me an EDD of 3rd November 2008 (or the 4th, depending on which calculator I use). This is my 4th pregnancy and will be my 3rd child. I am super excited and a little scared & nervous after a previous missed miscarriage.

I hope I don't get too lonely waiting for more BFP's to roll in! Please come and join me.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Oblomov · 20/03/2008 08:25

I went to A&E last night. What a waste of time. They were not interested ,sent me home after 5 hours, having had blood tests done. Suggested I went to EPU for a scan this morning, but I haven't bothered and have come to work.
They are dismissive of my very bad pains. A scan now will give me no reassurance, so I see it as pointless.
The woman in the bed next to me, with IVF twins was bleeding, there was pools of blood. They were concerned for her blood loss/anemia, but she kept screaming " fuck my life, there are 2 other lifes to worry about here", and they sent her home, suggesting, that if she wanted (!!) she could come for a scan at EPU tomorrow from 9am-1pm.
I tell you, this is St Peters Hospital. One of the biggest A&E's in Surrey. God forbid if there is something wrong with your pregnancy outside of morning hours. Because you are screwed.

dozymare · 20/03/2008 08:42

Oh Oblomov.......how are you doing??(Stupid question really) That is really outrageous that you and the IVF woman were treated so badly....I thought EPAU were meant to be senstive to our needs! Do you work in London? is there anyway you could get a private scan done today?? Or even better, go to another hospital?? I thought that if you had band cramps and or bleeding that they would scan..I know they do at my hospital......Hugs for oyu.....

Oblomov · 20/03/2008 08:48

Thanks Dozy, but i don't want a scan.
I think that unfortunately this is just the way the NHS/life is these days.

cricri · 20/03/2008 09:13

Oh Oblomov, what a horrendous experience. Was there nothing they could give you for the pain at least? Did anybody explain what might be causing it and provide some sort reassurance? It sounds like the third world rather than a so-called rich country like the UK Can you not try to see your GP today, even if you don't want a scan?

Oblomov · 20/03/2008 09:27

No explanantion, no reason. I have already seen two different GP's. Pointless.

Oblomov · 20/03/2008 09:27

No explanantion, no reason. I have already seen two different GP's. Pointless.

Roca · 20/03/2008 09:48

Oblomov - pick up the phone now to your EPU and go and see them - you need to get things sorted before it drives you mad - and the stress won't be helping. PLease leave work and go - this is important

dozymare · 20/03/2008 09:53

I second Roca...you seen so deflated and of course it is a worry.....as i said any chance of going to a London Hospital,,,,,,,,

Yorky · 20/03/2008 10:00

Oblomov, that is awful
Why would a scan not reassure you?I second what Roca says, worrying about the unknown isn't helping anyone
Daisy, my knitting is a bit basic but I have done some pattern stuff(mostly with my mum helping over the phone), I am doing rib trousers at the mo which I started before DS was born! I didn't knit for the first year of his life! My friend has a lovely pattern book by someone Bliss, I think its Debbie Bliss, she's going to copy the blanket pattern for me, it has pictures of hearts and bottles and baby faces on. I felt bad cos DS didn't have a baby blanket.
Fairy, thats how I feel about our cats, love them lots and they're friendly but since DS got mobile they tend to hide until they want feeding!

Oblomov · 20/03/2008 10:14

Thanks guys, but no thanks. A scan at 5 1/2 weeks will not tell me anything. They will only ask me to come back for another. ONly at 7 or 8 weeks can they confirm mmc.
What exactly do you all think is going to happen, that will give me any sort of reassurance today ? I don't understand why you all think it would help. You all know that they will tell me that they can give no assurances. You all know that they will tell me to try and relax until 7 weeks. But it is the actual waiting, not knowing that kills you.
And no one can give me the reassurance i need. No ONE. I know that. So what is the point ?

tegan · 20/03/2008 11:26

Hello ladies can i join youre exclusive club.

I found out yesterday that i am pg and i think i am due around nov 21

Renaissancewoman · 20/03/2008 11:37

I see where you are coming from Oblomov, I wish we could say something to make you feel better. At 5 1/2 weeks they will not be able to see that much and even if it looks OK, still weeks to go before greatest statistical timing of mc passes. You say "You all know that they will tell me to try and relax until 7 weeks", isn't that all you can do for now then?

Even if you can't get categoric medical assurance that all is well, can you talk things through with someone to try and make it easier to get through the next few days/weeks of waiting?

Heartmum2Jamie · 20/03/2008 11:37

Oblomov, I am pretty disgusted in how you were treated and feel you should have been taken entirely seriously, we know our bodies better than anyone.

Welcome Tegan, congrats on your BFP (big fat positive)! Feel free to add your details to our rapidly expanding list.

As for me, I made an appt to see my GP in the hopes that he will take pity on me and send me for an early scan. I see the GP at 2.20, so doubt I would get a scan, even if he sent me, until next week now.

OP posts:
tegan · 20/03/2008 12:12

Oliviaelanasmum - EDD ? November (#4)
LittleHarrysMum - EDD ? November (#2)
AliciaJohns - EDD 1st November (#2)
Pinkyminky - EDD 1st November (#3)
MummyAnnabella - EDD 1st November (#2)
Jojay - EDD 1st November (#2) Scan date: 21st April
Jaydee - EDD 1st November (#1)
Lilchick - EDD 1st November (#3)
divedaisy - EDD 2nd November (#2)scan 14th March Early Preg Clinic Scan 21st March
Chickenmommy - EDD 2nd November (#1)
ChilledBunny - EDD 3rd November (#1)
LolaBella - EDD 3rd November (#1)
Heartmum2Jamie - EDD 3rd November (#3)
mum2becks - EDD 4th November (#2) Scan Date: 25th April
Creena - EDD 4th November (#4)
OddEyes - EDD 5th November (#2)
Scully - EDD 5th November (#3) Scan dates: 25/3 & 23/4
Renaissancewoman - EDD 6th November (#3)
Suiledonn - EDD 6th November (#2)
Purlease - EDD 7th November (#2)
Bettispaghetti - EDD 7th November (#3)
Manyhatson - EDD 7th November (#2)
JudyJones - EDD 7th November (#1)
LackaDAISYcal - EDD 7th November (#3)
Stnky Bear - EDD 7th November (#3)
Cricri - EDD 8th November (#1)
Jackjacks mummy - EDD 9th November (#4)
chocolategal - EDD 9th Nov (#1)
Dozymare - EDD 10th November (#3)
tammycc - EDD 10th November (#1)
Browny -10th November (#5) Scan 23/3
Trixibelle - EDD 10th November (#2)
Pinkali37 - EDD 12th November (#1) Scan 26/3
newtotheplanet - EDD 13th November (#2) Scan date: 5th March
TheDoctorsWife - EDD 14th November (#1)
snookie28 - EDD 14th November (#2)
Kegs82 - EDD 14th November (#3)
ELB1 - EDD 15th November (#2)
Bronte186 - EDD 15th November (#1)
SoExcited - EDD 15th November (#1)
Roca - EDD 17th November (#3)
EButters - EDD 17th November (#1)
hanaflower - EDD 18th November (#1)
Oblomov - EDD 18th November (#2) Scan 31/3
juanitad - EDD 19th November (#1)
Mum2ozzie - EDD 20th November (#2)
Misdee - EDD 21st November (#4)
Tegan - EDD 21st November (#3)twinklingfairy - EDD 23rd Nov (#2)

tegan · 20/03/2008 12:13

I just had mw ring and she is booking me in on april 2nd, it's all starting to feel slightly real now

lackaDAISYcal · 20/03/2008 12:24

oblomov, sorry things aren't too great with you. {{{hugs}}} and fingers crossed everything is OK; there are so many miracle stories on here.

Hi Tegan . I see this is your third as well. I'm absolutely terrified.

I'm waiting on the CMW phoning me back. She left a message yesterday and I have tried to get her three times this morning. I was told at 9:50 that they would leave a message for her to call back, and I'm still waiting . I really need to go out, but I don't want to miss her call as no doubt she will be arranging booking appointment and I want to ask if she can "fast-track" me for a scan as I'm a bit unsure of my dates.

Creena · 20/03/2008 12:51

Oblomov - I'm really sorry to hear that you were so badly treated at the hospital last night. I think that whoever saw you while you were there should have at least offered some kind of explanation or guidance and it's utterly crap that they didn't. I think that when you're not getting the service you want or need, you have to be awkward and ask question after question until you get some kind of response at least. I know that's not going to help you now, however.

You also said "What exactly do you all think is going to happen, that will give me any sort of reassurance today ? I don't understand why you all think it would help. You all know that they will tell me that they can give no assurances. You all know that they will tell me to try and relax until 7 weeks."

I honestly think that everyone who responded to your posts, myself included, only wanted to help or support you in some way. We can only offer you advice and comment on our own experiences in the hope that it will help you. There's nothing concrete that any of us can do from our positions to give you an answer one way or the other.

You're right that EPU wouldn't be able to give you any guarantees or cast iron assurances - they can't do that for anyone. When I went to my EPU last week, I was told that even though a heartbeat had been detected, it was no guarantee that the pregnancy would continue and that if the bleeding continues (which it is), that I should view it as a threatened miscarriage (which I've been trying to push to the back of my mind in order to stay positive). It's absolutely horrible and awful I know, but there's nothing anyone can do for me. I just have to sit it out and wait to see what happens whilst hoping beyond hope every day and staying positive. I won't get another scan now until I'm about 12 weeks, so I've got another 5 weeks to wait and "try and relax", which is exactly what I will do.

Do you have anyone that you can talk to about how you're feeling? Would your DP/DH be able to spend some quality time with you and are you able to talk about it together? Have you talked to anyone about how you felt after your last experience? I'm just thinking that you've really been through the mill and have had a traumatic experience - it might help if you can talk to someone close to you. Have you looked at any of the 'knicker-checkers'/pregnancy after miscarriage threads? There will be lots of ladies there who will know just how awful things have been for you and who will have had similar experiences - it might help to talk it through with them.

I think that everyone here will also be happy to continue sympathising and supporting you in whatever way we can - that's what these ante-natal threads are for, I think. We might not be able to give you definitive answers or cast iron guarantees but we can listen and offer our advice (however helpful that might be).

lackaDAISYcal · 20/03/2008 12:54

CMW has just called. She wanted me in on the 2nd April for an "early weeks" appointment, but I'm away so it'll be the 8th April. At that appointment she will fill out my details for sending to the US dept and arrange my booking in appointment. I will be 10 weeks at the "early weeks" appointment and I know that the US people take bloody ages so it looks unlikely that I will get a scan before about 14 weeks

I think I need to ring her back.

Creena · 20/03/2008 12:58

Hello, congratulations and welcome Tegan! Good to have you with us! I know what you mean about it feeling unreal.

lackaDAISYcal - I hope you hear from your CMW soon. I had to wait before mine vould get back to me too - I think midwives all over are just snowed under with unmanagable workloads these days. I only spoke with her finally the other day and she's coming round next Wednesday to do the 'booking in'. She remembered me from last time and said "I wasn't expecting to see you again so soon!"

Anyway. Got to crack on now - have got someone coming to view the house at 3pm so I've got some frantic tidying up to do (whilst holding in my dry heaves and ignoring the fatigue) before DS wakes up!

Hope everyone is ok and catch up with you all again later. x

tegan · 20/03/2008 13:00

I think it will be really surreal until we actually tell people.

We are going to have to tell family soon as my best friend lives opposite and if she sees cmw visiting it will be out before family know and i really don't want that.

Roca · 20/03/2008 13:02

second Creena. We're all here for you and TBH even though some of us have different signs than others and some of us are on #1 and other #3 or 4 and some are/have spotting and other have had MC we all understand and all of use are going through the same thing.

There really is nothing we can do than let mother nature take its course - the Dr's or MW can't do anything about mother nature either. It is so hard waiting (Iam only just 5 + 3 wks so I have a age to go untilI can feel a bit happier. Then last night the though about cot death came into my mid - it's totally normal to worry but we can't let it take over and put our lives on hold (easier said than done, I know)

Everyone on here is great for support when we need it and hopfeully we can thow in the odd laugh now and agin too!

P.S am loving all the knitters out there - I can't even thread a needle let alone have a clue about what wool is for what - am sure there are some things I'm good at!

Hugs to all

Roca · 20/03/2008 13:04

am of all you with CMW who come to you - we have to go to the surgery each time to see ours. Funny how different things are all over the county

myjobismum · 20/03/2008 13:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lackaDAISYcal · 20/03/2008 13:17

Standard care for pregnant women regardless of postcode is yet another thing the NHS fail to deliver on Roca. It's really sad. We are actually very lucky here in Leeds. I saw my MW (same one every time) about 10 times throughout my pregnncy with DD, but some of the women in London were lucky if they had four AN appointments and saw someone different each time. Continuity of care is unattainable in a lot of places unfortunately

lackaDAISYcal · 20/03/2008 13:18

myjob . I found it all packed up and ready to post in the boot of the car yesterday. Was planning on posting it this pm after the school run. Sorry

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.