The Creme Egg Appreciation Society...memberships expire June 08

[debinaustria]

Good morning all you creme egg lovers ( and those weird ones amongst us who don't appreciate them)

Good luck for all the scans coming up this week, and next.

BB - arg indeed. I'm getting a doula and I don't give a f* what anyone thinks. Perhaps your MIL isn't aware that there are so few midwives on the wards these days. A close friend only saw hers in hosp when she was at the pushing stage and even then they were in and out.
That hosp's delivery suite is so busy they won't even give people guided tours before the birth these days.
And people wonder why homebirths are becoming more popular...

God people are so effing insensitive aren't they?!

Makecakes, Your DH needs to support you, not ask you to do things to "keep the peace". I have had the same with my DH over his parents not wanting to know the sex of our babies. I think he should have backed my decision to say we wouldn't be keeping the sex secret, but he said I should do it "for him" ie for his parents! But I have now realised that I should have insisted at the time that it is something I feel strongly about therefore what I want takes precedence over what they want!

PILs are really irritating I know. This thing with mine has made me want to move away (they live within 2 miles of us) and not even let them near the babies when they are born!

You have to just know your own mind, be confident that the decisions you make are the right ones and if that is not good enough for MIL then tough. You have to let her know now that you are in charge of your life, and that her son will back YOU against her!

Ernest - how long do you think you could last carrying two babies like that? I reckon they would be about six weeks old and it would get too much! And I reckon carrying one baby like that would be a bit scary, thinking they were going to fall out. I think I'll give it a miss!!

Para - love the changing station, it is cute. Like mine but mine is birch color (and £10 off ebay - cor, did that thing need disinfecting!)

Makecakes - so sorry to hear about your PILs drama. I agree with the others - she's your DH's mother and he needs to speak to her (I understand that may be easier said than done). She really needs to understand that she's upseting you, which is particularly inappropriate as you are pregnant and can do without the stress.

With regards to the photo thing, I'd send her one firm, but nice email, explaining how the family's privacy is protected and how she should log in/out or whatever to ensure privacy is maintained. Perhaps you could sweetly offer to show her how to use it properly as she's finding it so difficult. Or you could deny her access to your blog and your photo account .

My own particular moan for the day is that I feel so WIDE!!! Dont get me wrong, I'm not a skinny thing at the best of times but I do have a really narrow back which means my top half normally looks quite narrow (not my bottom half sadly ). However, I seem to have doubled in width. I actually cant bear to look at any recent photo's of me, which is incredibly vain, but I just hate being so wide.

Oh wow makecakes big hugs, I have a MIL like yours and eventually I got DH to sick up to her and things have calmed down alot. I would talk to your DH again and say you will remove links or as someone else suggested change your blogg but only after he has sat down and explained to her so she knows she is in the wrong and if she is still unhappy you will change it but under no circumstances do it to keep the peace, Men sometimes need to realised who they are married to and there mothers feelings shouldnt always come first. Sorry thats a bit ranty.

Oh another rant im was furious with my DH last night, he landed at 8.30 and instead of coming straight home buggered off to the pub with the guy he was working with all week he rolled in at 11, saying in his defence well I never go out its not like I always do it do it any other f**kn time just not on occasions like valentines, birthdays and anniversarys.

On happy note though guess what I bought when shopping???? Creme egg Ice Lollies

Dramaqueen
Sorry you are feeling wide. If I'm feeling frumpish I often find going for a walk lifts the feeling. Dunno why.
I stupidly weighed myself on Wednesday evening, fully clothed and if the scales were to be believed I'd already put on 19lb!!! (DH didn't help by pointing and laughing...)
Then I weighed myself yesterday morning and it turns out it was over by 6lb. So so far am 13lb up on normal.
I don't feel fat, but in order to get trousers which fit around the bump I've had to go a size up, and they're massive, which makes me look bigger than I really am anyway

Makes cakes - listen to the gang - they're right - DH should be fighting this battle for you.

Josey - creme egg ice lollies? Where? How?

Thanks everyone for your support. DH does his best but his mother has been like this all his life and makes him feel the same way too. But it really is the last straw as far as I am concerned. Have had a long walk with the dog, and taken myself out to lunch and had a good talk with myself...together myself and I have come up with various strategies for coping long term, DH has reassured me and spoken to MIL, but most importantly assured me that the baby and I (and crazy dog) are the most important things in his life and he will do whatever he needs to do to protect us from unnecesary stress. I have been getting quite a few sharp pains in my tummy today and it has really worried him.

But I really appreciate your suport- so nice to know that you are not alone.

Oh, and where do I find the Creme Egg Ice Lollies?

aww makecakes your hubby sounds like a real gem, i'm sure you'll get through whatever is thrown at you together and be that much stronger for it. xx

dq i know how you feel - i am starting to get that distinctly tank-like feeling, like there's not a delicate part to you and the room shakes when you walk. i've felt so good this pregnancy compared to last one but i said to dh last night, i just feel so heavy and he said, well, you're pregnant and i was like, i know, i'm getting sick of it! and he said well that's a few months later than you were sick of it with ds! i love being a mum but i'm afraid i'm not a very good pregnant person.

PS. I was off work sick this week as you may remember and apparently someone I work with actually asked if I'd had the baby yet?!!!

Men!

Makecakes - poor you, I have always had a difficult relationship with my mil but I thought it had got better, when I had ds she was so disrespectful I found it difficult to forgive her (long story, she objected to ds name - damn right rude). I try to remember thst most of the time she is jealous of the relationship I have with her son and grandson and that's why she acts the way she does. Don't give her comments etc the time of day, and if she makes comments about bf etc say something stupidly witty just to piss her off! Your dh sounds lovely, don't let her come between you, it affected me really badly as I felt dh should have said 'get stuffed' and didn't but he really tried his best. At the end of the day, you are the one who will have her son and granchild, you hold all the cards. Big hugs xxx

Congratulations pregnant penguin!

I'm up 16 pounds on normal on a good day - so I think looking barrel-shaped is par for the course this far along. It's easier when we get to 8 months and our bellies will distract from our hips/thighs/arms etc.

makecakesnotwar, glad your DH has his head on! It's so hard to be caught between a spouse and a parent.

oops - meant to say has his head on straight!

Completely off topic but ds came home today with his half year report and got 1's in all areas - that's the top mark you can get. I am so proud of him. He doesn't get marks for German this year as it's his 2nd language but nevertheless he's done so well.

And what's all this about creme egg ice lollies - that's just not fair - no way one of those will last the flight!!

Creme egg ice lollies are in tesco in a box of 3 keeping them till later so yum yum

Am so popping into tesco tomorrow!

Thanks for empathy on my 'wide' feeling - good to know its not just me. DLM - I dont think that I'm very good at being pregnant either. I've had people with young kids positively gushing at me about how they LOVED being pg and how I must be the same, and I'm like, erm, no!

Someone at work had a baby recently and she brought him in this week. My boss said later oh did you see baby X, it must have made you really excited and desperate for your baby (and other gushy sentiments). But nope, not me. I think I just dont have that maternal gush. Dont get me wrong, completely dote on friend/family babies/kids and very excited about my own, but babies as a rule just dont get me gushing. I guess I'm not naturally the maternal type .

Dont get me wrong, I dont think there is anything wrong with gooing over babies, its just never been me. I'm well known among friends/colleagues for it but now I'm pregnant everyone expects me to have had a complete transformation. I know motherhood will change my life in ways that I cant even imagine yet, but I hope to keep some semblence of my own self.

Sorry, only came on for a quick look and ended up rambling. That's Friday afternoon in the office for you!!!

Makecakes - glad your DH looking after you, hope the pains ease up.

deb - congrats to your DS. Clever cookie!

oh I'm FED UP with being pregnant today!! I have achieved so little at work, was really tired and unmotivated, and fell asleep several times during the day - I am SO not a good pregnant person!!

dramaqueen, I never had any maternal / gushy / baby feelings until after ds was born - actually until after he was several months old and we were through the newborn stage, and I could look back on it with rose-tinted glasses . I now weep at birth stories and peer into prams but it certainly didn't come with pregnancy first time round - apparently my mum and grandma (both very into babies) had 'concerns' that I wasn't 'bonding' because of the way I talked about 'the child' before he was born! good job I didn't know about that at the time!

I also really hated feeling barrel-shaped last time so completely empathise, I went from militantly unconcerned about weight to peering at myself in shop windows and feeling crap, like being 15 all over again ... Not so much of a problem this time as the bump was so visibly a pregnant bump from so early on, unsurprising I suppose given my poor body's expansions and contractions in the past year and a half! Now I just have to put up with 'ooh aren't you big for x months' comments

makecakes, I am clearly getting into rant mode today, feel I should use it up on someone who deserves it like your MIL!! Sounds like you're handling it well but the LAST thing you need at the moment.

congrats deb's ds

I've been awake since 3.30 and feel shattered now, it's finally caught up with me.

Debs thats lovely news about your son, you must all be so proud it feels so good when you know your children are doing thier best.

Makescakes I really feel for you. My inlaws came around last weekend asked if I was still tired and I said yes so they said as they are now retired thay can maybe do a school or nursery run for me towards the end of my pregnancy, I would rather have no help than the promise of 20 mins help in three months time. Maybe I'm ungrateful but it smmed really odd to offer a tiny amount of help in a few months time rather than now when I need it!

bitofadramaqueen I used to go gaga over other peoples babies until I had my own and now no other baby , unless it's a good friends, compares to my own.

Thanks g43 and systemaddict. System - you're post could so have been written by me! Glad I'm not too wierd. I think it just annoys me that people just see me now as a carrier of a baby and nothing else... I'm well and truly fed up of hearing 'how are you keeping?' or 'ooh, isn't your bump really showing now' or 'you must be so excited'. I wouldn't mind but I'd love to hear a bit of 'what are you up to this weekend' or 'any gossip' or 'did you see X on TV/What about X on the news' or in fact anything that people said to me before I got pregnant .

Rant over. Have MIL visiting tomorrow and we're going to look at baby stuff so will let you all know how that goes!

Sophie - another positive for boys - ds2 who is 5(6 on wed) just came up to me and kissed me and told me he loved me, completely out of the blue.

systemsaddict and dq i can't tell you how much i relate and how nice it is to have other mums that aren't all glow and dew! i envy it in a way but i feel exactly as both of you too.

deb well done to your son that's fantastic, you must be having a very proud mummy day!!

g43 hope you manage to get a good sleep tonight. x

All your boys sound gerogeous, now we are just stumped for a name.

Creme egg lollies?!! What evil genius thought of that then eh?

About boys, my ds is the most loving and empathic child, if someone is upset or hurt he is always the first to go over and hug them. In fact his younger sister exploits this mercilessly by putting on fake tears if they have an argument so that he will give in and hug her. Forget about your nephews, this will be your child, and he will be perfect.

DH also only has one set of boyfriends to worry about although if DD continues in her present form she will be more than capable of looking after herself

Sorry about your in-laws, Makecakes. I agree with everyone else's advice on how to deal with it. Having a new baby, particularly your first baby, is the perfect time to set new boundaries and establish your authority, but it is easier said than done! Maybe working out with your DH a few well-defined guidelines that you can fall back on when in doubt?

I've had sharp pains in my sides too - it's just things stretching but it's very uncomfortable and rather unnerving isn't it?

Deb - well done your DS! How lovely for all of you.

Eek - dont think I should have any creme egg lollies tomorrow - I seem to have sprouted another couple of inches since getting home from work. I am eating a healthy diet, but I am starting to eat too much chocolate on top of my healthy diet .

Good luck with getting a good nights sleep G43 - I have sleeping issues quite regularly (pre-pregnancy days) so I know how frustrating it is.

LOL at the thought of dew - literally moments after getting out of my car today a colleague commented I looked peaky. A. I looked the way I always do... and B. Good bloody morning to her too! I think that's what set me off on my grumpy mood for the day.

Josey - hope your DH will make it up to you over the weekend!