Due Jan 2008 - Ahhh getting close now!!!!

[mixedmama]

Helloooooo????

MrsMcJnr... I was put straight into a room and left to labour in there. At your hospital they make you wait in a waiting room until 10 cms. Are you sure??? By 10cms the pain will be intense and I am sure they couldnt leave you there until then with other women, maybe 5 cm. That is awful if they leave you till fully dilated.

LS - second what MrsMcJnr said about getting your DH to understand why you want things. So important you are both on the same page. men do tend to have quite a slack attitude to it all tho... DH thinks it is a little strange that if something is available to make the pain go away then why not have it.

Wow.... we have 4 mums on the Dec thread who have had their babies. Making it all very real.

MM - that's what they said when I was there last week (but could be wrong!) I just couldn't think of anything worse than being in that small, hot, uncomfy room in pain.

I hear you about the birth plan - they are wishes really not a plan but I do think it is really important to have thought through and understood all eventualities in advance, don't you? I know medics like you to "keep an open mind" but you can only truly do that if you have done your homework first and know what it all means. Not getting at you - just a bug bear from my AN class yesterday, the others just didn't want to know in advance and thought they'd decide on the day about pain relief and I just can't see how you are being fair to yourself or your baby if you do it that way

oooh Naetha - DO like your names. We are going with Patrick Alan if boy and either Cerys Frances or Erin Frances if girl. DH likes the latter, me the former, so I am waiting till the immediate aftermath of labour when hopefully he will be so shellshocked he will give me anything I ask for!
Lovely to see Gingeme again (glad you got home safe)and meet Fluffy last night - hope sabinar's ankle is better, MM feeling better, toomany ok - what happened to bettymamma? Fluffy - how funny after our conversation last night you have now been given a growth scan - did you push for it or was it their idea? Sorry otherwise it left you flat - I think when the weather is this miserable it adds to the general sense of weariness too.
Don't know about others but I am definitely starting to find things more of a strain. I sat on the edge of the bed this morning to do tights and DH came in looked at me and said "is it all getting a bit much?" so I must have looked shattered which is worrying after a solid 8 hours sleep (barring loo trips of course). Tummy feels huge and I feel so much more breathless- the thought of getting to places just seems overwhelming.
Lulubump - do you reckon your SIL is working up to a dramatic miscarriage for sympathy? It all sounds very strange and I wouldn't leave her alone for an instant - especially after baby arrives! Your boss shows a stunning lack of empathy - he should try being pregnant for a day!
I had a lovely date night Friday thanks for asking - we had a delicious Thai meal and then really enjoyed "The Country Wife" at the Haymarket - Toby Stephens as yummy as ever and david haig really really funny - and all half price rom the Leicester Sq tkt booth that morning. Got to get my head around the lack of freedom to do this kind of thing shortly.
Midwife stories are shocking - we had a good whinge last night about the attitude of some health care professionals. On establishing BF inhsp, Dr friends of mine said it really all depends on how your labour goes and they just don't recommend really swift discharges if you have had a horrendous time as you can't take in the advice you have been given. However if you are sparky and ready surely you are going to be better off in your own environment.
Mrs McJnr - I am going to teach BRAN to DH tonight over supper - very helpful!
Love to all

Alot of my "plan" is based on how I feel. Like if I can't handle the pain i'm not going to say no just cos that's what is says in my plan. BUT i'm going in there with the thought of leave me as long as I can.
DP is funny. Ever seen Coupling? There's an episode in there where she says she wants him to ask her 3 times if she's sure she wants an epidural, I mentioned this to DP and he said "it's pain, fix it!!" LOL. I think he gets it and TBH is just winding me up but still drives me insane.

MrsmCJnr - completely agree you have to be informed and on my birth plan I have very specific requirements about pain relief and so forth. I was lucky in that my last labour went pretty much to plan but I have seen so many threads on here about coming to terms with the fact that they didnt and the women have a really hard time coping with it, feeling like they have failed and things. I have tried to incorporate things like my wishes for CS should it become necessary.

Some of my friends are like that so uniformed that they didnt even know that our hospital had a birthing unit because they basically werent that bothered.

That sounds sensible LS. I am hoping that by not exposing myself to pain relief i will be able to do it au naturel. So staying at home as long as possible, getting into pool at birthing centre. I am hoping that purely by deciding to go to the birthing unit in the first instance where epidurals are not available and the emphasis is very much on natural birth I will be able to avoid anything that may cross the placenta. This worked well for me last time as I did scream for an epidural but couldnt have one in BU and by the time I transferred and the epidural man (sorry cant spell the anth word) i was pushing.

Does your hospital have a birthing unit??? It might be worth exploring if you can start there.

Gosh its been busy in here this afternoon...just thought I'd add my tuppence worth in before heading home

Rasberry tea - didn't start until 38 weeks last time, and it made no difference (see comments on birth plan, below!), but definitely didn't taste fruity, Beller, just randomly green-tea-ish

MixedMama (and others!) - I've also not been measured at all, at any of my checkups. As I've said before, I'm seeing my GP not a MW, and its just blood pressure, urine, quick chat about any issues, then onto the bed, quick feel ('yup, feels about right, you seem to be a good size'), baby heartbeat for 10 secs then that's it..... But I saw a MW last time (I was Royal Free last time, UCH this time around) and although they did use a tape measure they never plotted it, just made a note each time, so doesn't seem to make much difference!

Having said that, at least my GP insisted on seeing me every 4 weeks until 28, now on every 2 weeks and will be weekly from 26, so I do feel quite well looked after.

Barristermum - the growth scan is a direct result of our conversation last night!! I realised that I really didn't want to risk a repeat of last time, and when I mentioned it to GP this morning she immediately agreed I should have a 34 week scan - she had just assumed that the hospital would sort it out themselves. I called UCH (they really are sooo lovely ) and they agreed to book me in over the phone as long as I turned up with a referral letter from my GP - and they also agreed that given my history (DS was 8lb 11oz, induced at 42 weeks, labour from hell...again, see birth plan below!!) that checking would be a good idea. So am that I'm getting another scan, of course, and relieved its going to be checked, but really that the whole thing had to be driven by me again....!!! [grrrrr face]

Right, birth plans....
(and please, don't anyone take this the wrong way!!!)
My birth plan is going to say 'No pethidine', because I'm allergic to opiates. And that's it.
Why?
Well, I wrote a really 'proper' plan for ds, thought about everything, even though I knew it might not all happen, and was very focussed on the sort of birth I wanted to have.
In the event, I was induced at 42+1, spent 27 hours in labour, was very 'medicalised' with lots of intervention, ended up stapped to bed with a million monitors and still had the delivery from hell. Of course it didn't help that it turned out ds was 99% centile for height and weight even though I'd been told at every check-up that he was 'average size'.

I had an epidural at around the 14 hour mark, when I discovered that the concept of a 'mobile' epidural is an oxymoron - basically, I could theoretically walk around but was totally wobbly and only made it to the toilet twice before giving in and having a catheter.

In other words, the exact opposite of everything I wanted...followed by an enormous epesiotomy, which was very nearly a C-section, and a ventouse delivery.
BUT...I ended up with a completely healthy, happy and remarkably unstressed baby.

During the entire delivery NOT ONE PERSON EVER LOOKED AT MY BIRTH PLAN!!!!

It took me quite a long time to get over the birth, and a lot of that had to do with the birth experience not being remotely in line with what I had wanted.

2 years on I've realised that the only important things are
a) to be informed and understand what your options are and what you can/should/can't/shouldn't try to control
b) to have a healthy baby and healthy mother at the end of it all

Of course I'm not suggesting that anyone shouldn't write out a plan, and obviously any decent MW should read whatever is there, just that it's important to remain focussed on the end result rather than the process, so if the process ends up being out of control (and childbirth is still quite a messy business!) you don't get too upset by it....

But it is really really important to do all your reading and research etc to understand your options and choices because the chances are that no-one will take the time to inform you properly during the birth...!

ok, rant over...sorry, that wasn't meant to be a rant - I don't think I had realised how much the whole thing upset me until I wrote that And sorry if that's upset anyone else...I wasn't trying to scare anyone!!!

By the way, IMHO home was definitely the right place to establish BF and being there gave DH the necessary time and space to bond with ds at the same time as I did....

oh my goodness taken me nearly an hor to catch up with you load of gas bags.

Fluffy i agree with you - this is my first but i do think my only plan is to know my options and see how i feel.

WHen i had stomach ops i had opiate pain relief and it was great , so if early enough in the labour and if its really slow then i might even give it a go.

I think the only thing is to do what you feel at the time , have a healthy baby and not beat yourself up after - for me the stuff in between i 'll see.

Got my bloods back today and thankfully blood sugar in normal range so all still good.

I am having so many bh contrctions its a joke, and can i ask i am only 30 weeks but had a bit of leaking nipples going on
at the weekend - my mum says she bets its going to come ealry as a result of these things - i'm not sure how any birth plan would fit into the medical care provided by the matron at the old bauley but it would be alternative

Not one item of baby stuff in the house as yet!!!! at some point i will do the internet shop mrsmc talked about.

THe whole chord thing - where did you even know about that stuff from???? I worry about myself at times.

Had lovely very relaxing weekend involving lighting real fire and putting loads of cushions on rug and watching films with dh - lovely.

All still seems ages away yet

meant to say old bailey

yikes how busy!!

FM - agree about birth plan. The registrar yesterday said dont write birth plan as it rarely goes to plan (true ime) They are fully aware of what i want and so is dp so I am just going to ride whatever happens. The growth scan is FAB Had my 34 week one yesterday and was truely awesome x

Started raspberry tea as doesnt induce contractions just makes womb strong allegedly and i like the taste

MrsMc - thanks for post, I am fine Missing dp but also aware that when he gets home will be 36 weeks and so much closer to bday. Also nice for me and ds to have some 1-1 time.

Name wise - still undecided current fav is Samuel Owen.

Nicky - fab news about blood sugars I had what they classes as an irritable uterus with ds1 - lots of bh etc ended up going a little early - 38 weeks.

Regarding going early the registrar said it depends on your body and how long it is happy to carry baby for. As ds was born at 38 weeks she said that she thinks there is a much higher chance of me going early with this one too. Am trying to not think that and expect him to be late so i dont get impatient

Lucky - good attitude about basing it all on how you feel. I am hoping not to have an epidural this time (also hopign not to have a section) but at the end of it all, what ever is needed and is best.

Nicky - I've been leaking milk since I was about 16 weeks, so I don't think that's necessarily an indicator of the LO coming early, otherwise I'd've had it by now!

I'm going to a big gig tonight in Manchester at the MEN arena - lots of heavy metal bands, so I've had to be in early at work so I can leave early...even so, 6:45 is a little too early for me!

I guess I should take my notes with me just in case anything happens, although fingers crossed it doesn't yet!

As for birth plans, I have one outlined, but no real specifics. I'll see how I go with pain relief (ideally just gas and air, depending on length and intensity of labour), birthing pool will be great if available (although can't actually deliver in them in my hosp ). Main thing is that I'm not catheterised unless absolutely necessary (have a phobia of catheters), and ideally would like LO de-gunked before he's handed to me .

Btw has anyone else got really itchy nipples? Mine have just started going ballistic!

Morning all,

Just a quickie this morning as I have loads of things on - but still will prob get distracted with MN.

Fluffymummy - can completely understand where you are coming from. i think it is safe to say that most second times and plus mums will write their birth plans bearing in mind previous experience. Apart from the contractions etc, I'm quite afraid of internal examinationsas I found it excruciatingly painful.

Naetha - have a nice time at the concert. Gosh 6:45am start - was still in bed then! - not that I slept much last night . Yes about the itchiness- makes me crazy sometimes.

I am definitely going the fluffy/nicky route of minimalist birthplans - basically whatever the doctors think best. I can get really stubborn if upset and may not listen too hard if birth plan has to change in light of what is happening at actual D-Day so really don't want to set my ideas in stone. Also am a bit of a wuss on pain and with many people's DH's on the if it hurts why not fix it school of thought. But I have much more homework to do reading up on stuff so this could all change!
Just off to see my Mum and Dad for the day - took a day out of court as Dad had an operation on Monday and want to check he is recovering.
Have good days all - Naetha, hope baby gets his head banging in time to the metal beat later!

itchy nipples - yes

leaking - did from about 4 months last time and ds was 2 weeks early (could have been linked to testing of birth pool tho )

birth plan - at home you have more say and the m/w seems to have more time to read it, mine is the same as last time; gas & air only, limited internals, they can check baby's hb whenever they want, try to birth in pool, dh does NOT want to cut cord (me either!), and baby straight to me.

The only thing i've changed is not to have the injection to speed up placenta delivery as i had it last time and it still took 2 hours to come out (sorry to frighten 1st timers!), so not bothering with it this time.
was the only 'unnatural' thing i had and the only thing that really went wrong. even then it worked out ok in the end.

anyone else suffering with soreness in their pubic bone??? i have developed a really bad ache over the last few days, fine it hard to do almost anything. worried i am getting spd? anyone have spd that can give an opinion? feels like the middle of the bone (i guess where the stretching ligaments are)?

Morning everyone have enjoyed reading the birth plans. Not doing one myself though will prob just discuss witht the midwife when she comes for home assessment this Sun.
Anyone any advice on this ?
Hope everyone else ok am being quite sick this am but am hoping it's just a dodgy tummy and nothing more as i was very sick both times when in labour ! I still got another month at work yet!

Hope your dad ok Barristermum.

Have a good night Naetha!

Awen hope you managing ok without dp.

Nicky i with you on the bh i never had them witht he othes but they are taking my breath away!

MM that plan sounds lovely.

Fluffy what an awful experience. I had something similair with ds and was so determined to have a better one with dd and i did. It was all natural and am so glad i was able to experience it without all the intervention.

Lucky, Mrs Mc i would just make sure that those around you know what you want ideally but be prepared for it to change.

Hope everyone else ok LL x

Katyu are you having a home birth ? Have you had the asessment from the miodwife at home yet ? What do they do if you have ?

Morning ladies. How is everyone this morning?
Someone has asked about names. We have finaly decided on our names. Adam Michael(my Dads brothers name)Graham(dh's late brothers name)what do you think?
Our new double buggy came yesterday. Its brill. Had a good push round the flat with lo in it.
Didnt get any pineapple as they had run out. On fluffymummys advice I bought some Gaviscon tablets and theyre brill. Thanks.
I have my mw appt at 11 today. Will let you kow how it goes.
See ya later xxx

Itchy nipples here too. Have started on the niple cream and it does help.

Re birth plan, I have written down quite a few points, but the start of the birth plan says that the only important thing is to have a healthy baby and this is how I hope to achieve it, knowing full well that it may turn out differently.

For me the most important thing is that birth should only be medicalised if there is a medical problem, although I have requested that the midwives bring gas and air, after all just how much pain is a lot of pain . And I need to be informed of problems, reasons, etc. Made a special note that mw should make sure DH is present for any discussions as he will be more level headed and calm I think. I don't think I will be disappointed if it ends with a c-section, just concerned about the consequences for the next birth.

oh yes the name q - we have Mary from last time, and poss William, tho still slightly unsure about that.
Think it will be William James (dh's name)
and poss Mary Kathryn (my name) but i've never been called kathryn so not sure, but don't like Mary Katy, sounds silly i think.

Adam Michael Graham is good, AMG. everyone is checking what the initials will spell right?!

lilyloo - i had a home birth with ds but never had a home assessment. they just came on the day and got on with it.
think they must have asked me if i had space for the pool etc. but i don't remember a special discussion about it. sorry no help.

madmouse - bring LOTS of gas and air !

Actually Madmouse you've given me a couple more ideas for my birth-plan as it were. Essentially I'm the same as you - I want a healthy baby at the end of it, and I want to be kept informed of progress, no matter how complex it is! I'm a (relatively!) intelligent human being, and would like them to treat me so.

Maybe that's a little too much to expect from the NHS

Ooh I have a fascinating morning of analysing the Regional Spatial Strategy for the West Midlands....zzzzzz!

Naetha - just read your profile, funny!

Sorry had to leave the discussion last night and go home

MM can?t believe 4 December ladies have popped already ? we are all getting close aren?t we? I?m excited about meeting Beanie

Naetha ? nice names I?ve been to the MEN, saw Moby there so can picture where you?ll be have fun!! I?m with you on the catheters ? uggh!

Barristermum ? like your names too absolutely finding things a strain now, shattered today and the commute is so much worse in the rain. Your date sounded fun, DH and I were just saying that we should go out for a meal together in town as it will be the last one for just the two of us for a while Hope your Dad?s ok

LuckySalem LOL at your DP, I am getting increasingly grumpy with DH?s quips about my size, slowness, aches etc I know he is joking but sometimes in the evening after a day at work my sense of humour disappears

Fluffy ? how are you feeling today? wow weekly check ups, that?s full on. I am now down to consultant every 4 weeks and MW every 4 weeks but it means an appointment with one or the other every 2 weeks for me. DS was a big baby!! Glad you are getting a growth scan hon. Sorry that things went the way they did at DS?s birth, really hoping that your next experience is very different. The most poignant thing that came out of all you said for me was the fact that you had done your homework so knew what was happening to you, in the face of it all, which must have been some comfort. Like you say, the end result is the most important thing but your baby only gets born once and we might as well at least try to make it the best experience we can.

I have a couple of questions ladies who have done this before: when they check you after the birth to assess the need for stitches do they do an anal examination? I read that they do and it freaked me out, I know that sounds ridiculous when you have just been through labour but I am really squeamish about that. Also, if you do have Strep B and need antibiotics does anyone know what they are? I am highly allergic to penicillin and whilst I have no idea if I have Strep B, Fluffy?s comment about opiates has made we wonder whether I should put that in my birth plan just in case.

Nicky6 ? sounds like your body is gearing up I personally have read about the cord stuff in a couple of books like ?What to expect when you are expecting? and ?Expecting? ? the latter is really good on the pros and cons of birth choices, particularly on drugs. Your weekend sounded lovely

Awen ? like Samuel Owen. NCT teacher told us that any baby born between 37 and 42 weeks is full term, maybe your body is more efficient at finishing the job than some I am wondering about me too because both my Mum and Sis have had their babies pre 38 weeks that said?. I could still be waiting late Jan!!

Amani ? internals do sound horrible during labour ? hoping that I won?t be there long enough to have too many! Best laid plans and all that?..

Why don?t we come up with a concise and vital birth plan between us?! if it is very short and only covers the most important things for us then surely it might be paid for attention to?

Here are my top 5 wishes if circumstances permit:

1. water birth
2. I don?t want to be on my back for any period of time
3. I would prefer not to use drugs for pain relief and will tell you if I change my mind
4. Please do not cut my baby?s cord until it has stopped pulsing unless you are concerned about PPH, I know I need the syntometrine injection but would like to wait until after the pulsing has stopped.
5. I would like skin to skin contact with my baby ASAP

Or does all that not need to be said?!