Pregnancy after loss - Autumn Babies 2021 - Thread 3

[Pancakes7]

Hello! We're on thread 3 already!!

@PumpkinEverything
@ahuss
@Bellabubble
@Strawberry08
@marplemead
@MrsTD88
@Cafeaulait27
@ELMcg
@NatJ24
@JRH4622
@vitaminb33
@imisscoffee
@Firevie
@lamby12
@smarty4
@Smurf123

I hope that's everyone! If not please tag people if you think of any x

Amazing news @HereWeGoooo

@Bellabubble I still get waves of nausea, today has been particularly bad. I couldn't go in to do the shopping earlier as the thought of wearing a mask almost pushed me over the edge. It has been a lot better as in not constant but when it hits me, it seems to last ages. It's so strange as I had barely any nausea at all after 12 weeks with my daughter. I'm really hoping it goes soon as it is making me rather grumpy.

@lamby12 well done for cancelling that's a lot of self control! I agree though, I don't think I'd want to go to a private scan by myself. I had two at EPU at 6 and 8 weeks (they couldn't see anything at 6 weeks other than an empty sac which caused 2 weeks of unnecessary panic) and a private one at 10 but only because my dating scan wasn't until almost 14 weeks and my husband hadn't been to my EPU scans because of childcare. It is a very personal thing. I have one more private one booked in few weeks for the gender as my local hospital won't tell you the gender and my daughter is keen to know if baby is a brother or sister and then I am done with the private scans.

@HereWeGoooo lovely scan pic :) and great news!!

@MrsTD88 I’m comforted by the fact you feel similar - but I also feel for you! Olicky as am on school holidays at the mkment so not doing anything pressing - but it’s usually when I do mt deep clean blitz/declutter. So far I have hung washing up and cleaned the bathroom sink 😂

@Bellabubble it is so difficult isn't it when it just hits you. We're on holiday this week too and decided to paint all of our bathroom, luckily my husband has done the bulk of it while I've just been sticking masking tape round everything and keeping our daughter amused. So glad it is done, can't stand the smell of gloss right now!

@Firevie Wonderful news, a baby boy ❤️ in biased with DS but how lovely.

@HereWeGoooo Aww lovely scan photo! I'm so glad all is well.

@lamby12 I was literally just saying similar to my Mum that I feel less sick so I start thinking am I really pregnant or did I imagine it all? Crazy thoughts. My scan is Tuesday. I feel like it's finally getting close. I need time to hurry up!!

I hope you get your scan date through soon. Well done cancelling a scan💪🏻

@Pancakes7 eeeek so soon, your scan nearly here now!!!

My nausea is back with a vengeance this morning, reassuring. Note to self... make the most of it next time

Morning ladies! Happy Friday! So DH wants to start telling people now and obv I’ve been super excited to get to a milestone so we can start telling people. And the scan went well yesterday and the sonographer even put me 3 days ahead of what I thought I was so all good but not sure why I’m still getting the jitters when thinking about telling people. Why is that? Is that normal? When are you guys telling people? I was planning on telling people in another week or so, so I’d be close to week 14. I’m now 13+1 according to the dating scan I had yesterday. But I think DH wants to start telling on the weekend. Xxx

@Firevie we told close family after our dating scan, I was 13+2 and then waited until I got screening results back before telling others. I know some people wait until 20 weeks but there is no way I could hide my bump until then 🤣 I was terrified telling people in case I'd jinx it but then realised that is just ridiculous and we told people at the same stage with our daughter.

@Firevie I had told my 3 close friends early after our 8 week scan (along with our parents and sisters) as they all new about my history and were keeping in contact with me regularly and checking in to see how I was doing - it felt mean to lie lol! I told a few more friends and some of my wider family from 14 weeks - but I won’t tell my work colleagues until I go back to school and I’ll be 17weeks because I don’t think I’ll be able to hide it so well by then, and I’ll probably wait until the 20week scan to tell my other friends. I am being overly cautious though because I’m going through another period of wobbles even though I know it is super rare at this stage! I don’t even know if you can have mmc in the second trimester, but my brain has gone back to panicking! I’m hoping my midsofe will let me hear the heartbeat at my appointment next week!

@MrsTD88 and @Bellabubble interesting! I am glad I’m not the only one who feels cautious. I feel like I may be more ‘ready’ with one more scan but then I may always be ‘let’s just wait another scan’ haha! I have my next private scan on 19th April so not long to go and I will be 14+4. But my husband is travelling next Thursday and will be away for a month and I think he wants to tell his family together before he goes. Might do it this way. Might let him tell his family and I’ll tell my friends after my private scan on 19th.
I got my harmony results back and they were normal. So, don’t expect anything different from the nhs combined screening. They said they’d send me a letter in the post. Royal Mail has been super slow so who knows when I’ll get the letter. Xxx

@Firevie I think if we were still in full lockdown I'd possibly have waited a little longer but it is a relief to have it out in the open. I also think if anything were to go wrong now, which I know is very rare, there will be lots of people around us who know for support.

@Bellabubble I told work a while back but mainly because I have lots of appointments with being consultant led. I have one on Monday so I have to finish work early (not ideal on my first day back from holiday but oh well). What day do you have the midwife? I have an appointment on Friday, hoping to hear the heartbeat too 🤞🏻

@MrsTD88 very true! How far along are you?
@Bellabubble how far along are you? Apologies I can’t keep up
When are the next scans?

Xxx

@Firevie I think it's often the case that the man wants to share the news much earlier than the woman does, that's definitely my experience anyway! It feels much more personal to us because it's our bodies. Plus telling people makes it suddenly very public and real and open for discussion. I'm 13 weeks today, we've told close family and a couple of friends, I'm planning on telling everyone at work next week, but as for properly announcing it to the masses (usually via FB, which is cringey but effective) I'm not sure yet. Maybe after my 16 week scan. I don't want lots of comments about rainbows or angels or things being meant to be. I know that works for some people and each to their own, but it really doesn't for me and I find it quite hurtful when people tell me Frank "just wasn't meant to be" or that he's an angel

I had my scan on the 31st and my screening results came back today, all low risk thankfully.

@MrsTD88 mine is next Weds - but my midwife is on annual leave so it’s someone new, I’m hoping that when J tell then my history that they will understand and let me have a listen 🤞🏻
I told my head teacher and my TA’s in my class at about 8 weeks - as I have 2 children in class that are sen and can be a bit unpredictable with lashing out at adults working with them sometimes - but so far I have managed to keep it hidden from everyone else, which is amazing as I haven’t fitted into my normal trousers since about 10weeks 😂

@Firevie I’m currently 15+5, with my next scan not until May 12th 😩

@imisscoffee I’m not a fan of “it was/wasn’t meant to be” or “there’s a reason for everything” etc either - I feel like it invalidates the emotions you feel!

@Bellabubble it really does. My dad is well meaning but has managed to come out with every single one of these phrases in an attempt to comfort me. "Too beautiful for this earth" makes me sick in my mouth too. So my living children are less beautiful because they are here? And I should hope that this baby will be ugly so they can survive? Urgh.

@Firevie I am 15+4 today. I have a private gender scan on 24th April as my hospital won't tell you the gender. My 20 week scan is at 21 weeks on 17th May.

@imisscoffee that's fab about your screening results. Such a relief. My husband hates social media, he just doesn't understand why I use it. It works for me though. I agree with you some people's comments can be quite insensitive, probably unintentionally but I don't know why people can't just say congratulations, really happy for you etc.

@Bellabubble hopefully you get to hear it, I'll never forget the first time I heard my daughter's heartbeat. I know that feeling, so grateful the office is still closed to the public so I can get away with leggings and baggy tops and on the days I work from home I can live in pj's 🤣

@imisscoffee yay to your screening results that’s great news!
@Bellabubble @MrsTD88 you guys are super close in terms of dates! So cool that we are all so close in dates.
I’m not a huge fan of social media either but each to their own. I think I’ll send pics via what’s app to friends. For my best friend I have a card that says she will be promoted to an auntie so I think I’ll post that next week :)
Hope you get to hear the heartbeat. It really is the most amazing sound in the world! ♥️♥️♥️

@Firevie my mum and 2 best friends knew already, but after our 12 week scan we told my stepdad, dad, siblings, and then his mum dad, and siblings. With instructions that nothing was to go further and that no aunts and uncles etc were to be told. We’ve a gender and wellness scan booked for 27th April, and if all is okay at that we’ll tell some of our friends. Reason for that being we have a wedding the following week, and haven’t actually seen any of them since before we had our MMC in December, so I think it could be very difficult to keep this a secret! Our 20 week scan is 3 weeks after that when I’m 19 weeks and that’s when I’ll do an ‘announcement’ and tell the rest of our family. I still feel very cautious; and I was so elated and happy after the scan last week, and now starting to feel a bit like ‘are you sure you’re actually pregnant?’ I thought I had a bit of a bump coming but the last two mornings my stomach has looked and felt very normal again 🙈

@Bellabubble I’ve been worrying about this a bit too! Can’t seem to find an answer as to whether MMC can happen in second trimester 🤦‍♀️ I hope not!

You can miscarry in your second trimester. I don't want to worry anyone, but it does happen. Anything before 23 weeks is a miscarriage, anything after is stillbirth.

Hi ladies I'm feeling really worried again. 8 weeks today - feeling really nauseous this morning so I was fairly reassured and berating myself for wanting the sickness back.

Went to the bathroom mid afternoon and had pink on wiping. Really threw me as I haven't had anything since the scan a week and a half ago which reassured me after spotting. I've got really intense cramps and even though it hasn't progressed from pink smears on the toilet paper I'm panicking big time. I rang EPU and they said I need to monitor things for a number of hours and call them back if it's worsens or continues. However they will be shut by then?! So basically that's wait until tomorrow.

I feel in such a panic that this could be the beginning of the end and I've been feeling really really pregnant and starting to think about the future. I don't know what to do!

@imisscoffee I have had 2 friends sadly have second trimester miscarriages :( both of theirs started with bleeding straight away - my first 1st trimester was a missed mc so my body thought I was still pregnant for about 3 and a half weeks when nothing had progressed, which is what I still get anxious about - mostly because I had pregnancy symptoms but no bleeding etc, still had positive pregnancy tests. I don’t know if you can have that type in a second trimester, but it definitely plays on my mind a lot still (but I try not to over worry) I think it’s why I haven’t really wanted to tell too many people either

@imisscoffee @Bellabubble that’s my worry too. I know they can happen in the second trimester (it’s actually your story that always makes me think of it!) but it’s the ‘missed’ miscarriage that I worry about. I can’t help but worry what if something went wrong after my scan and I’m not going to find out for a few weeks. Think it really messes with your head knowing your body can go on like that 😔

I'm so sorry @lamby12 you really are having a tough time of it, fingers crossed all is okay. ❤️

I don't know if this sounds ridiculous but is there any chance the cramps could be wind? I've had a few panics over bad cramps and it's turned out to be something I ate (even though I always think I should be able to tell the difference)

I should add, it's incredibly rare, less than 1% chance I believe. I have a friend whose waters went at 20 weeks and she lost her twins at 22 weeks, and a friend who went into spontaneous labour at 23 weeks, so I'm not sure if MMC can still occur. I chose to tfmr with Frank, as my choice was either wait it out and go into labour at any point over the next day, week, month... or be induced. Either way, his lungs had stopped developing so he would not survive. I chose tfmr because it gave me an element of control and I felt it gave him dignity. I didn't want him to suffer because I was too scared to take action. We found out after that my body had already started to miscarry apparently. I really don't want to upset anyone at all, and what happened to me was less than 1/1000 chance, I was just very unlucky.