Pregnancy after loss - Autumn babies 2021 - Thread 2

[Pancakes7]

Hi All,

I thought I'd start a new thread before we fill the other one.

@Bellabubble
@Firevie
@PumpkinEverything
@MrsF111
@MrsTD88
@Strawberry08
@imisscoffee
@Greenrubber
@vitaminb33
@Smurf123
@NorthernGirl1991
@bookwitch13
@JRH4622

Hopefully I've tagged everyone!

@Pancakes7
Thanks hope you feel upto your nachos later

@Pancakes7 I had the awful constant sick feeling from about 5.5 weeks onwards - it seems to have gone away since this Thurs (12+4) instead I just get intense waves of nausea (not great in a classroom after lunch - my lot are a little windy bless them 😂) but my appetite still hasn’t come back - I have way smaller portions now for my meals and atill struggle lol, so I try to spread snacks out throughout the day to help! I can still only manage smoothies for breakfast too - I tried toast today but it definitely didn’t sit well!

@Bellabubble I need to keep up the little and often. I think I'm leaving it too long, I get starving hungry eat too much dinner then feel sick.

@Pancakes7 it has definitely made eating more bearable - I’m just waiting for the time I enjoy the taste of food again now lol! Although my current loss of appetite is in part due to my dating scan kn Mon I think - evem though we had a really positive scan 2 weeks ago - my brain still overthinks!

Thank you for the welcome @imisscoffee and @Pancakes7 and congrats on your pregnancies!

Sorry to those who are feeling sick but right now I'm looking forward to the sickness because it will give me some reassurance, I don't feel anything yet and it's worrying me, I know it's early for me. Though give it one occurrence of sickness and I won't be saying that!

X

Welcome @lamby12 I really hope this is your sticky baby and you can save that money for baby!

Great news @Greenrubber ! So glad all went well 😊😊 and amazing you know what you’re having!

I’m trying to keep it under control, and I feel like I should even be typing this and it’s probably going to make me think about it even more, but I’m starting to feel the anxiety creep in about my 12 week scan 😔 think I’ve been feeling a bit too positive, thinking about the future and what we need to do and I’m worried I’m getting ahead of myself. My husband asked me this morning when I’d start showing and that freaked me out a bit too 🤦‍♀️ I think my lack of nausea and sickness just freaks me out, even though I know perfectly well that not everyone gets it and I really should be counting myself lucky. My boobs really haven’t been sore at all the last 3 weeks apart from the odd moment (10+5 today) and I’m now thinking to myself are they less full too?! Still feel really really gassy most mornings and evenings and earlier today I was thinking to myself that I felt like I’d done an ab workout as my stomach muscles hurt a bit (even tho I’ve done nothing) I just sometimes get the odd cramp that makes me panicy that something is wrong. 11 days until my scan and I was hoping to hold off on the anxiety until at least mid next week 😬

@lamby12 try not to worry about not having sickness, when I had my mmc where the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks and I didn't know until 10 I was incredibly nauseous the entire time, which I took as reassurance too, when it meant nothing except that my body had redundant pregnancy hormones going on. You can have a perfectly healthy pregnancy with little or no sickness x

@PumpkinEverything that is completely understandable - even though at my 8week scan they were saying all the stats were in my favour etc - I was still a wreck 3 weeks later! That was why we booked the last minute scan at 11weeks (and also because my dating scan falls in week 13 for me) It’s such a rollercoaster of emotions after having a loss. I know it isn’t very helpful - but my body was the other way - I continued with 3 weeks of symptoms in my first pregnancy even though nothing had progressed passed 5 weeks. It’s so hard because you want the symptoms for reassurance, but then when they don’t come or fade it’s raises the anxiety level so much! I had a friend who had a few mild symptoms (some boob pain, bit of nausea, bit of smell/food aversion) but she said they were only ever fleeting when they did occur and all passed well before the end of her first trimester - she has a very cute little 5month old right now :) I’m sending positive vibes your way that it’s the same for you too :) x

@Garman thank you that's reassuring. I can't remember what my pregnancy was like with my DD (now 2.5) it feels a lifetime ago. This is the furthest I have got so far since my two chemicals, only just as I'm only 5 and a bit weeks but I'm taking some comfort that I'm hopefully past the 'chemical' stage this time.

I have a scan booked next week when I'm exactly 6 weeks but now I'm wondering if it's too early to see the heartbeat and it will therefore end up the opposite of reassuring, but I could wait another day after that! Has anyone had a scan that early and seen what they needed to?

Thanks so much @Bellabubble ! MMC are so cruel 😔 I never had many symptoms last time either so it’s hard to not feel like the same thing is happening. Before my second scan I had considered booking one for around now, but after it I decided I wouldn’t because the anxiety beforehand was just too much. Still feeling the same way that if anything is to go wrong I’d rather find out at the 12 week scan, than go private and find out within the next week or so and then still end up going the same route, just a few days earlier. I hate that because I have a negative memory from before that it feels like my brain can’t imagine the positive outcome of going into that room again! I’ve to go to a health clinic (that’s not my own one) because the hospital is so busy, and it was the same one that I found out in last time so I don’t like the association!

@lamby12 me again 😂 I've had 3 scans between 6+1 and 6+5 on 3 pregnancies and seen everything needed at each of them, all abdominal scans no internal ones.

@Garman oh thank you that's reassuring. I had a scan with DD just before 6 weeks at EPU and they saw everything with an internal but I was wondering if that was quite unusual.

I'm not sure if they do internal at this private clinic, I'm happy to have it if needed if it will get me reassurance. I'm going to phone them next week and ask so I know what to expect.

I haven't even allowed myself to believe I will get to the scan yet, even though it's only 6 days away. I think that's my coping mechanism at the moment. I really hope this is it but I can't allow myself to think it yet if that makes sense. Sort of protecting myself this time emotionally though it's impossible to fully protect myself. I haven't even allowed myself to do the due date calculator yet.

I have read that after 6 weeks of a heartbeat is seen the chance of miscarriage is only 5% versus 20 before then, so I've got everything crossed.

It's so reassuring to read the posts on here of all you ladies who are having successful pregnancies after loss. X

Brilliant news @Greenrubber!

@PumpkinEverything I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. It's shit that loss robs us of the excitement of being pregnant sometimes. I hope the next 11 days will pass quickly for you. My counsellor told me that however I feel about the pregnancy is the right way to feel, even if it's anxiety or stress. Try not to beat yourself up for feeling anxious. It'll probably ebb and flow over the next few days, but just go with it. As for symptoms, lots of women don't even know they're pregnant at this stage, I think we become hyper aware of symptoms etc once we've experienced loss because you can't help but compare the pregnancies.

Maybe have a gentle word with your husband explaining that you just need to focus on the week by week, or even the day by day at this point. I jump back and forth between not being able to think about the future for fear of it not happening, then daydreaming of what life will be like when (not if!) this baby arrives. Positive thinking seems to come and go for me randomly so I'm grabbing it while I can!

@Garman same here sadly. With both mmc's I had lots of symptoms even though it had stopped growing at 6 weeks. So they don't reassure me sadly.

@lamby12 Normally that early a scan is internal as they can't see enough from an abdominal scan. My second mmc after having my son I had an early scan at 7 weeks and baby measured a week behind with heartbeat. Sadly this was a bad sign that I didn't realise at the time. They have me another scan for free reassurance and 2 weeks later it was gone. I think if baby measures the right size that's a great sign. You might see a heartbeat but it is very early. I wait till 7 weeks normally as by then you should definitely have one. Definitely a good idea to phone them and check what you expect. I really hope it's good news for you.

I definitely understand protecting yourself. I couldn't get excited or fully accept I was pregnant until after my scan. Even now I have times I worry.

@PumpkinEverything I'm sorry you're worrying again but I completely understand. In have times where I worry if everything is still ok. I've chosen to keep positive though and assume all is ok. But I definitely have those horrible doubts that creep in. Me & DH will start saying I wonder what DS will think of a little sister or brother. I then think I really hope it happens. My scan feels so long away. It's just over 3 weeks!

@Garman and @Pancakes7 I'm so sorry about your mmc, it's so cruel isn't it especially that the pregnancy symptoms carried on. It just shows we really can't second guess what's going on by symptoms or lack of.

Like others have said any miscarriage just robs you of the joy and excitement of pregnancy. I'm not sure I'll feel even vaguely relaxed until/ if I get to 12 weeks, and then I had preeclampsia in my pregnancy with DD so that concern kicks in, but I'm not even thinking that far ahead right now, Friday is the focus for the 6 week scan.

It's great to have a forum to talk to others on. OH isn't a massive talker and hates going over and over things, obsessing or talking about what ifs. He's trying to humour me and say all the right things again and again but I'm trying to not keep going on about it as I can tell it's annoying. Previously I've always told my mum but this time I have white lied and told her I'm on my period (she asks!) because I know she will worry like mad until I get a bit further on, so I'm trying to spare her that worry at least until a scan. It's nice to speak to others who understand the all consuming overwhelming anxiety of pregnancy after loss. X

@lamby12 I completely understand. DH does care and has worries too, but definitely doesn't want to talk about it all the time. I found this group so helpful leading up to my first scan and now to share concerns, crazy thoughts or just knowing you are not alone. Definitely post on here any time you need to. Sometimes just writing it down really helps. I've also been keeping a diary just in my phone notes since before I found out I was pregnant again. I find it helps to get my thoughts out and I think it will be something nice to look back at. I wish I had done the same when I had my son. I think it's good to have other women on here who have been through the same thing. Friends as supportive as they can be, if they haven't been through it they won't fully understand.

@lamby12 I had pre eclampsia on my first too, a terrible experience isn't it.

I finally have a scan in epu tomorrow, after 2 weeks of near constant spotting and 2 little bleeds, but no pain. Not holding out much hope but have made my peace with that, I just want to know and have it over either way now as this wait has been torture.

@Garman I'm sorry you've been spotting. I really hope all is ok. I'm glad you've got a scan tomorrow and I really hope it's good news. ❤️

Thanks @Pancakes7. At this stage any news will be good news so I can just move on either way!

I'm so glad you have a scan @Garman, I really hope for good news but I know the wait is the worst. Wishing you lots of strength for the remaining wait and the scan ❤️

Sending lots of love #@Garman, I'm sorry you've had to wait this long. I hope tomorrow brings you peace whatever the outcome x

Sending you lots of love @Garman and crossing my fingers it’s good news for you at the scan 🤞🏻Hopefully the lack of pain means it’s just been some bleeding, but I hope that at least finding out helps you. What time is the scan?

Thanks, it's at 4pm. They literally gave me the last appointment of the day, couldn't even give me a morning one to make the day drag some bit less!

Hey everyone! Thought I’d join, hope that’s ok. I’m 10+3 weeks and this is my third pregnancy. I had 2 miscarriages last year, one was at 9 weeks and the other at 4 weeks so hoping for third time lucky.

Haven’t had any early scans this time, with my first pregnancy baby had a HB but was measuring behind at almost 7 weeks and I had spotting on and off from around 6 weeks. It was the most devastating time of my life as I’m sure you all understand.

The second was basically a chemical, it was upsetting but we didn’t have much time to get excited.

Really hoping this one goes right for us, we’re so ready. My dating scan is on 1st April so just counting down the hours and days until we can hopefully see a healthy baby.

Xxx