Aug 2021 - 2nd Trimester continues

[Alittlexmasmagic]

Hi everyone, another thread begins & things are getting real now 😄 x

@BertieBotts We have that app, I have cleared the entire list of names and got a fair few, no matches with DH 🙈 I thought I’d be the difficult one with names as I’ve worked in childcare/social services for 10+ years so I’ve been put off a lot of names. But he is hopeless 😂

I will update the list after we all have our 20 week scans and those who want to find out what they're having do so, otherwise I'd spam it on here with constant updates like on the earlier thread 🙈 I am updating it in my note upon request & will post in few weeks' time.

How is everyone doing today? xx

@MrsB2019x me and my husband didn’t match a single name on three different apps so we gave up but have come to agreement on a few names... for now

@PurplePansy05 very tired today! Can’t seem to sleep well, I had a private scan booked then I cancelled thinking I can hold out for 20 week and save £180 but found somewhere a bit closer and a lot cheaper so booked for tomorrow when I’ll be 17+6

Has anybody who wears glasses / lenses noticed a change in eyesight?

@Fran919

Not a change in eyesight but i have noticed dry eyes - so dry that my contacts get stuck and I have to make a trip to the eye clinic to get them removed!!! This has happened twice now so I just try and wear a glasses a bit more to rest my eyes!!

@Fran919

Are you due an eyetest? I know blood sugars can temporarily affect eyesight do you have a GGT booked?

My glasses prescription is so out of date anyway I will get it updated after this pregnancy I think. Luckily I don't drive so I don't need them for that! But can't wear them anyway with having to wear masks everywhere.

@Fran919, no change with sight this time, but at about 10weeks last time I thought my vision had blurred slightly. I contacted the opticians and they said this is quiet common. They offered a sight test, but as I wasn’t driving and it didn’t seem to bad with glasses - worse with contacts, I didn’t bother.

I was thinking of getting dental checks & opticians ticked off this trimester as I don’t suppose there will be much time when baby arrives!

Thanks all, I had a contact lens check up early January but I’ve been wearing glasses more with WFH so wouldn’t be surprised if something has changed. I’ve booked in for Saturday to make sure.

Apologies @LyraShaeLilly what’s a GGT?

Hi all, I've just had my 20w scan and all is well!! I can't quite believe I've got this far, it's felt like forever and i just couldn't see getting past it.
Baby is healthy and .....a little girl 💖💖💖💖

I'm so relieved. Also a little bit conflicted as I really had my heart set on a boy. Crazy but I felt like it would ease my loss our baby boy last august. I still feel so lucky to have been blessed with a healthy baby.
Unfortunately I've never had a great relationship with my mum or sis and that's made me worry a little if I would be able to maintain a healthy happy relationship with a daughter.

@Dia12

It's a Glucose Tolerance Test, to test for Gestational Diabetes.

@Dia12 congratulations! So glad all went well for you and your little girl 💕

Feeling a bit weird today. We went to collect the ashes from my last pregnancy this morning. They had put them in a lovely box which I didn't expect at all, as it was arranged via the hosp and we didn't pay anything for it. The man kept calling them 'baby [my surname]'. It did feel really strange to be collecting them while (looking heavily) pregnant with another. Dunno it was just weird. Kind of hitting me how far we have come so far this time, which is freaking me out a little!

Hope everyone is doing ok today. I have the whole week off work which is lovely.

Is anyone else starting to get stretch marks yet? Mine are actually quite ridiculous already 🙈

@Dia12 I'm sure it'll be totally different with you and your daughter than it was between you and your mum/sister 💕

Congratulations @Dia12. I know it's different, but I don't have a good relationship with my father, we've been NC for a while. The point is, he's never really been present in my life, he was not a good dad and not a good example whenever he was involved. This has definitely affected my relationships when I was younger. I now feel I am missing part of the puzzle when it comes to my son's upbringing, as if an important role model was missing. But I then remind myself that my relationship with DH is very different to my parents' marriage. DH is a million times better husband than my father ever was to my mum. We interact differently most of the time because I make a very conscious effort not to repeat bad examples from home. It is hard work and sometimes I fail. Sometimes DH shows his faults too, after all we're human. But don't set your threshold too high, at that perfect unachievable level - no mother is perfect, you can only be perfect for your child and you will be. This is good enough. Your LO will be much loved and born into a different environment to how you grew up, don't forget ❤ I am sure you have tried to fill the gap created by this difficult relationship with your mum and there are, or there will be, women in your life who will step in and guide you when you feel you need it. This is what we all do for each other ❤ xx

@Daffodil21 This has made me cry. So, so hard. Lovely gesture from the hospital. I can see how it's a difficult day for you though. We chose not to keep the ashes because tbh I just couldn't face it. I can really relate to what you're saying about getting so far. I sometimes get anxious thinking I don't know what I'm doing and what's to come. Today I woke up and for the first time I looked in the mirror snd thought god, I look SO pregnant. My bump is now pretty big, all of a sudden. People are smiling at me when I walk past. DH's grandparents are joking that I've had too many cakes. People can see him, he is no longer my little precious secret and it is lovely and scary all at once. xx

@PurplePansy05 ❤️ we didn't for the first two as they weren't tested, but we sent the third to the hosp for testing (which they f'd up!) we could have had them scattered over the hosp garden or have them back, we chose to have them back but we are planning on scattering them, just not today. I look so pregnant too, I don't even recognise myself at all in the mirror anymore. Every aspect of my body has changed and it is very obvious I'm pregnant (and has been for a while thanks to the steroids!). It was just a very odd feeling to be picking up ashes from one pregnancy while clearly carrying another. Still can't believe this is how things have turned out, but hopefully this is it this time.
Very similar situation here too - I don't know my father and haven't seen him since I was about 6, but in a way that makes me feel less dependant on my DH and more confident about bringing up a child because I've seen my mum go it alone so I know I could too. I am a little unsure how the dynamic works in a 2-parent family though if though if that makes sense! Your 20 week scan is this week too, isn't it?

Hi all

Sorry for not chipping in for a while
@PurplePansy05 I am jealous of your bump! I think I am only just starting to show and even then it just looks like my already podgy stomach is protruding more than usual. I long for the point it becomes more obvious. People keep saying on video call ‘show us your bump’ and it makes me feel horrible, almost like I’m a fraud. Does that make sense?!

@Dia12 I can only imagine the mix of emotions you are feeling, sending virtual hugs.

I am so torn on names, we’ve had a girls name for years (my husbands grandmother) but ALL my family have little boys so loads have been used already and I still haven’t found a winner!

@Daffodil21 Yes, my scan is on Friday.

I think you're making a very good point, I've never looked at it from this perspective before but now you said it I can clearly see that I've become independent and self-sufficient also because of how my DF has been. This is absolutely spot on. I actually make more money than DH and have a prospect of further progression than he does. It doesn't matter to me in a sense of competing against him because I don't. It matters to me because I know that I could go at it on my own worst comes to worst, and although it would be extremely hard, this feeling of independence is very precious to me. I worked my socks off for it, but I know now it was worth it. This has definitely come from my mum and the fact she effectively had to do the same. I'm astonished I've never noticed this before. I'm actually unsure about the 2 parent dynamic either, but I know DH is very hands on and loving and I think this will work. It will certainly be a welcome, positive new world for DS and for me, I hope.

How strange, I had the same story as you. We only had testing after my third loss, and it was inconclusive, they've also messed up my blood tests to go with the testing, I had to have them redone. But anyway, testing took so long that I was in a different frame of mind when the results came. I couldn't bear the thought of taking the ashes home, it overwhelmed me then and I felt I needed to separate myself from the past for my own sanity, if that makes sense. I think if I received the results say now, I would most likely do a similar thing as you, but few months ago I wasn't quite ready for it. I really feel for you, such an emotional bomb today. Be good to yourself now xx

Oh @LottSE20 they shouldn't be saying this to you! I know they mean well, but it's not a circus to show off, is it. I think it all depends on your frame, genetics, height, where you've put weight on etc. No two bumps are the same. I think mine is quite big because I've still not put on anywhere else, just bump and breasts. I'm also short and I was a solid 12 pre pregnancy cue the lockdown stone, not my slimmest moment! My mum is similar built and her bumps were always big when she was pregnant.

On the other hand, I have at least 2 friends who only started showing around 25 wks, but boy, they were showing later! I also have a work colleague and I only realised she was expecting when she was 27 weeks, before I just thought she put a little bit of weight on 😳 She is now a happy mum of 2! Everything in its own time ❤ xx

@PurplePansy05 I didn't really think of it like that either until my reflexologist asked if there was anything subconscious preventing me getting pregnant (I did not find this particularly helpful!). She asked about my family and when i said I didn't have a relationship with my father she jumped onto that as 'holding me back'. But actually I explained that as a result I didn't feel like I NEEDED my husband - good job he wasn't there 😂
Sorry to hear they messed up your testing too. They were supposed to do genetic testing but they didn't as they didn't realise it was recurrent, so they only did the histological testing, so we don't know what caused it to go wrong. I am actually glad I don't know now though, because I got pregnant again straight after. It's odd how many similarities there are between us! We even have the same due date!

@ElonaWise I hope this is ok to say, but I hope you feel better reading the posts between @PurplePansy05 and me. You can absolutely do this on your own 👊 FWIW, I don't feel like I missed out at all by not having my father around, because my mum did such a good job

@PurplePansy05 I was also 12 st ore pregnancy. And I'm 14 now!!!!!!

@Daffodil21 I spoke to my mum today and she asked if I've put any weight on, I said my scales are packed up (true!), she just laughed 🤣 In some ways, I am dreading Friday weigh in, they'll do it in hospital and I think I'll be obese now 🤣 But it's obviously temporary. Post pregnancy we'll have a new thread - getting fit together whilst sleep deprived with our newborns! I would love that actually! The best motivation xx

@PurplePansy05 oh no do they weigh you at the scan?! That'll definitely put me into the obese category 🙈 my mum finds it hilarious!! A getting fit together thread sounds brilliant. Definitely up for that! After a bit of recovery time obviously 😂

@LottSE20 I'm the same as you - 20 weeks tomorrow and still in my normal jeans, which I suppose is more practical but I'd also like to actually look pregnant! I can feel a little bump when I'm lying in bed, but I just feel a bit fat during the day which isn't much fun. I've also struggled with lockdown weight which I imagine has contributed!! Interesting you say your mum carried big @PurplePansy05 - I think mine carried small (despite me being a whopper at birth!), so I wonder if there's a link there?

@PurplePansy05 @Daffodil21 so lovely to hear stories of all the skills and independence you've gained from a difficult situation. My parents didn't divorce until I was a teenager, but my dad travelled a lot for work and I know my mum felt a lot like a single parent, and my sisters and I are all so close with her as a result. My BIL described our family as a matriarchy the other day, and I think mum raising us without as much support as she'd have liked has definitely contributed to that.

Obviously right @Daffodil21!! No marathons any time soon!! Well, they did weigh me at my 12 week scan and asked what my weight was at my booking appt earlier on too, so I assume they will weigh me again at 20 weeks. Think this might be to keep track on gestational diabetes? You might be checked over if your BMI climbs high enough, but that in itself means nothing really, you can be perfectly fine with just a temporary high BMI for obvious reasons.

I think the fact my bump has grown a fair bit is what's giving me hip pain, actually. I have this massive dent in my lower back now when I look at my side in the mirror, it's so weird. My whole posture has changed. From that point of view, I wish the weight was distributed a bit more evenly, but I won't complain, it's a minor inconvenience in a grand scheme of things. I can't wait to be able to start getting fitter, we so should do it as a team 🙌💪 xx

@biscuitcat Did you say before you have several sisters as well, was it 3? Sorry if I'm confusing with my pregnancy brain! Your mum must be a strong woman and she's done a great job.

Also thank you everyone for signing the petition I posted about earlier - it's now on course for 100k signatures, which is amazing 🙌🙏 xx