August 2021 - Heading into the second trimester

[BertieBotts]

Old thread was about to fill up again

I will try to get to the car seat/pram Qs in a bit...

@wimbler - EDD 29 July, having a surprise! 💛
@Champson - EDD 22 August (but really June/July), TBC 💛💛💛
@Jessicapebbles - EDD 5 August (but having C-section at 39 weeks, so really July) 💛
@smurf123 - EDD 5 August (but likely to be July) 💛
@WhatEvenIsSleep EDD 2 August, TBC 💛
@Smushty14 - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Rattyclife - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Biscuitcat - EDD 10 August, having a surprise! 💛
@runnergirl123 - EDD 11 August, TBC 💛
@PurplePansy05 - EDD 12 August, Boy 💙
@BananaHammock23 - EDD 13 August, surprise 💛
@MrsB2019x - EDD 13 August, TBC 💛
@Magik01 - EDD 13 August, TBC 💛
@Carefree1 - EDD 15 August, can't wait to find out 💛
@DressyGerbera - EDD 15 August, surprise 💛
@lucyrp - EDD 16 August, undecided 💛
@BertieBotts - EDD 16 August, want to know! 💛
@Whatshouldbemyusername - EDD 16 August, TBC 💛
@WolfMother326 - EDD 17 August, surprise 💛
@Smallbean27 - EDD 19 August, surprise 💛
@WatermelonKisses - EDD 20 August, surprise 💛
@alittlexmasmagic - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@Millymay13 - EDD 22 August, TBC 💛
@Notinthestarsigns - EDD 23 August, TBC 💛
@northernsquirrel- EDD 31 August, surprise 💛

@2u2years welcome and congratulations ❤️

@PurplePansy05 what a beautiful scan of baby boy. I have a private one next week at 16+5 and will get to see baby (still not going to check gender though). Super excited either way x

@biscuitcat babe no- you are allowed to have your boundaries. If SIL wants to get offended that’s her emotion. You can’t be having all that stress when you’ve just pushed out an 8 pound tiny human out of you. Plus everything that comes with it after! Bless you. Hope you can get out of it x

@WolfMother326 I was thinking of the same yesterday. This time next year we will all be celebrating first Mother’s Day (atleast with first baby) and I can’t wait x

I am a very emotionally strong person ladies but last night I just couldn’t stop crying. I was feeling very lonely and I kept missing my mum (she passed away a year and a half ago). I am very private about my 🤰🏽so have only told immediate family and my managers at work. I’m waiting for 20 week scan to then tell my close friends. I’m on no socials either which has never bothered me. I have a very very small circle of people but somehow yesterday I was feeling abit lonely. My fiancé was super supportive but I think I was lacking that feminine energy. I love him so much but I was just feeling so gassy and headaches and I was thinking as beautiful this feeling of being a mum is - this is where the gender gap already starts where your body and emotions etc change and he doesn’t go through these kind of emotions/changes. I’ve woken up feeling so so much better except ridiculously gassy (story of my life since baby made appearance 😂).

I guess I still have a lot going on with upcoming home move (I’ve been in an Airbnb since December 1st) job changes and other matters.

However rant is over now. All I’m saying is - I believe it’s ok to get it out of the system and feel your emotions here and there. This forum is very useful so thank you all xx

Me too @WolfMother326 @PurplePansy05! Mother's Day is something I thought would never refer to me....even thinking a little person will call me "mum" ?!!! How lovely that will be 🤞🏼

Good luck with your appointment today @biscuitcat hope you get all your questions answered. Hope you can just stand firm and avoid the family drama escalating. Absolutely the last thing you need.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and welcome to the group @2u2years. How's second trimester going for you?

Sending you a virtual hug @Whatshouldbemyusername, I'm not surprised you would be thinking of you mum at this time. I have a small network too and have only told a couple of ppl so far. Then lockdown doesn't help either, so it does feel a bit lonely. But won't be long before lockdown eases and that at least will help a little.

I found a place that does pregnancy yoga classes, (I got the impression it's in operation even through lockdown) and really want to join as it'll be a good way of meeting others in same boat.

Massive hugs to you @Whatshouldbemyusername 💙💙💙

@Whatshouldbemyusername lots of love 💞

As for visitors after birth my mum and partner were there because they were both my birthing partners and the day DS was born my partners dad came to see him in the afternoon which I didn't mind at all. They didn't stay very long and he refused to even hold him (I find a lot of men don't like holding babies incase they drop them?! Anyone else?) so it wasn't too bad. I can't remember who came over when we were home but I do remember not even wanting to stay at home myself as the midwife came to do the first visit at home and we weren't there because I'd gone out for a walk with the pram😂 not sure why I was so Spritely!

Aww what a lovely photo and experience @PurplePansy05 💜

@Whatshouldbemyusername big hugs. It’s really good to talk and get it all out.

As with a few of you, I never thought that day would come where I’d be enjoying Mother’s Day for me. Fingers cross all goes well and be able to celebrate next year xx

@biscuitcat For once the world should work around you. You're giving birth, that's the biggest thing, amen. Honestly, I could not care less if someone got grumpy as a result of being slightly inconvenienced. Stay firm 💐 I think parenthood will be, amongst other things, about setting boundaries with others and they most definitely shouldn't interfere with your private time as a family.

@Whatshouldbemyusername I'm so sorry your Mum isn't around anymore to share this special time with you. The truth is that this leaves a gap no one else can fully fill. You gave every right to feel sad and lonely about this, I think most of us would. It's hard. Especially now with Mother's Day around the corner, pandemic etc., you don't get to experience your close girlfriends rallying around you for a hug when you need one, which in part would fill the boots left prematurely by your Mum. It's a triple whammy. Allow yourself to feel emotional about this, you are human. You're allowed to feel low. There is nothing that will take this away completely, but you know that in time grief becomes our companion, not a monster in the room. Your Mum will always be guarding you and your baby and the lessons she taught you will never disappear, they will live through you and your little one. 💐

I am lucky to still have my Mum but she's far away and whilst that's not comparable, I often struggle too as I know she's not getting any younger and our contact is so limited with everything going on. I know even after this, at some point she might not be able to travel regularly, she might get ill. Life happens. I feel far more emotional about this now I'm about to enter motherhood myself than ever before. Suddenly motherhood and the role my Mum has played in my life are far deeper and more important than before.

So I am not surprised at all with how you're feeling and I think I'd be exactly the same. You're not alone - you have us for virtual chats and hugs which might help a tiny bit ❤.

It's also a very female time now, I completely agree. In the nicest possible way, men can't feel it the same way and they can't relate to it the way we do, it's far more personal. I think it helps a lot to be surrounded by women going through the same thing now. xx

@Dia12 @MrsB2019x @lucyrp @Carefree1 @PurplePansy05 thank you so much ladies ❤️❤️❤️

Definitely feel much better today and yes about missing mum it’s just more intense since found out about 🤰🏽 But gets worse closer to Mother’s Day. Defo the pandemic is not helping.

That’s why I feel like this forum of beautiful women who are all strangers we all have atleast one thing in common (with the other side effects) but yes we’re all pregnant and due around the same time. I really do appreciate the support and the advice shared on this thread at all times. You’re all wonderful and we are all going to be great mommies ❤️

Anyone else find themselves feeling restless ?? I've had a day off today and done some jobs this morning around the house and since then I've tried sitting down to watch tv etc and I just can't stay still. Can't get myself down to nap either. 😫

I wish @lucyrp 😂 I have zero motivation at the moment. I need to move my arse before the soda moulds around me! X

@lucyrp I'm with @Carefree1 😂 you'll either find me at my desk (for my hours only, no extras!) or on the sofa these days!

Is anyone finding everything such an effort?? It may just be because I'm bigger than you would normally be at this point (thanks steroids and progesterone 🙄) but I'm finding literally everything an effort! I can barely even shave my legs anymore and there's so much more time to go!!

I’m with @Carefree1 and @Daffodil21 I’m afraid 😂 motivation has hit an all time low, even just basic housework leaves me exhausted now. Just doing the washing up makes my back hurt these days 😂

@MrsB2019x yes loading and unloading the dishwasher does the same to me!!

I used to walk for 1-1.5 hours at least 4 times a week, now I can barely handle 20 mins! It doesn't help that it's really hilly here (that's my excuse anyway!). I had my midwife appointment today which is less than 15 min walk away, but up a hill, so I drove 🙈😳 I got to hear the heartbeat though, which was lovely

Yeah I definitely don't mean I have energy! I meant I'm so tired and just can't do anything as such which has made today even worse. I couldn't concentrate on the tv at all🤣😫

@lucyrp oh sorry, I see what you mean! I'm thankfully strangely content being attached to the sofa and watching tv! Must be frustrating to not be able to focus

@Daffodil21 it may be because I've been at worl for a few hours every day so far this week which has been my first week back so sitting down and doing nothing like I have for weeks before is difficult ?! I don't know how to explain it but I definitely don't enjoy going to work or doing anything necsariky as I'm still absolutely shattered all the time and get out of breath walking up the stairs 🤣🤣

@lucyrp oh no, I really feel for you not being able to wfh! I honestly don't know if I could deal with going into the office so I'm glad I don't have to! Haha yeah stairs are definitely becoming a struggle! We talked about moving the desk downstairs the other day as it's two stories up. I'm out of breath every time I go downstairs to make a cuppa so I don't think it'll be long until I move my desk downstairs!!

I'm glad you all mentioned this, I'm far more tired too and pooped by 9pm. I'm not sure what they mean when they say second trimester is so brilliant and full of energy, I have far less energy than pre-pregnancy and can't walk up the hill or bend over

Anyway, this eve for the first time I did some antenatal exercises at home, managed 20 mins of a 40 min class Who the fuck does 40 mins now, you'd have to be a machine! And that's from my local NHS health board physio department too! I must have become terribly unfit...I'll try the second half of this class maybe this weekend for now I'll enjoy my cheesecake xx

Thank you all ladies, it's so helpful hearing your support 🥰 DH got back from being away for a couple of days with work today and I ended up bursting into tears when he showed me yet another message from SIL asking, clearly all getting a bit much for me! But I do think that got the message across at least

@PurplePansy05 do you know, my mum said the exact same thing about setting boundaries, and that after I was born she had to learn to start saying no to all sorts, even if it hacked people off or made her unpopular - I'm getting some early practice in 😂

@Whatshouldbemyusername no wonder you're feeling a bit fragile and emotional, that's such a lot to have on, and it's an emotive time of year anyway. I hope as lockdown eases and socialising opens up a bit more that helps with lonely feelings. I completely relate to what you're saying about men just not being able to understand in the same way as other women do, even when they're being amazing and supportive. Sending lots of positive thoughts and good wishes 🥰

@lucyrp @Carefree1 @Daffodil21 I'm struggling so much with tiredness and lack of motivation! I did nothing today at all! Having the midwife appointment today didn't help really, as I was distracted (though that was lovely and I heard the heartbeat!). Hopefully after a rest over the weekend we'll all feel refreshed!

@Whatshouldbemyusername. I hope you’re ok. I can really sympathise with you, I lost my mum last January and this pregnancy is certainly different without her tracking it all with me. It’s one of those things that even when you don’t think you’re thinking about it, you always are. I’ve also had some emotional moments, my hubby is great just like yours but I totally understand how you’re feeling ❤️

@biscuitcat thank you my love. I am definitely feeling good today. I think it also helped getting it out of my system xx

@Jessicapebbles aaaw I’m really sorry for your loss. It is hard isn’t it. I’m so glad that your husband is supportive too. I know it has moments but when they are there...it’s hard! It’s this thing where I think I read on this forum 2-3 days ago “mums know best” and I think that did it for me. Coz whenever mum told me to do something and I did and it worked out - she always said that line.

Plus with Mother’s Day round the corner. Somehow this one is harder than the last one - I suppose coz I’m going to be a mum too! So it’s just a strange time.

Thank you for being there. Also I’m feeling much better and can possibly know how you’re feeling so if you ever need to reach out, please feel free xx

@Whatshouldbemyusername I can totally sympathise. Whilst my mum is still here, she's in a nursing home with Alzheimer's. She doesn't recognise me as her daughter any more and Covid has made visiting even harder. I'll definitely not be able to take a newborn to see her. It sucks!

@biscuitcat your SIL is batshit if she thinks a whole troupe of people should stay just because you've got room. You need privacy x

@biscuitcat I am SHOCKED at how rude your SIL is!!! So selfish!!! OMG. Good for you for standing up for yourself - this should really be up to your husband to tell them what to do (aka go do one, haha!!).

And yep - feeling exhausted now. I’m also used to doing a 45-60 min walk with the dog once a day and can only manage flat ones now. Even a slight hill makes me need a sit down halfway round.

Anyone else find their resting heart rate really high? I was at 55-59 bpm before pregnancy and now up to 80!!!! A high HR is a sign of anxiety for me so it’s making me feel as though I’m anxious all the time even though I’m not!

And lots of love to those ladies without their mums.

@Whatshouldbemyusername Thank you, I really appreciate it. I’m going to send my dad some of her favourite flowers on Mother’s Day 💐 It hit me most on the countdown for New Year. I suddenly realised I was going to be living in a year that my Mum hadn’t lived in and I was really not ok with it.

On a brighter note we have decided on giving our 2nd girl my mums name for her middle name 💖. Likewise I’m always here if you need to reach out xx

Anyone else part of the wide awake crew ?