August 2021 - Heading into the second trimester

[BertieBotts]

Old thread was about to fill up again

I will try to get to the car seat/pram Qs in a bit...

@wimbler - EDD 29 July, having a surprise! 💛
@Champson - EDD 22 August (but really June/July), TBC 💛💛💛
@Jessicapebbles - EDD 5 August (but having C-section at 39 weeks, so really July) 💛
@smurf123 - EDD 5 August (but likely to be July) 💛
@WhatEvenIsSleep EDD 2 August, TBC 💛
@Smushty14 - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Rattyclife - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Biscuitcat - EDD 10 August, having a surprise! 💛
@runnergirl123 - EDD 11 August, TBC 💛
@PurplePansy05 - EDD 12 August, Boy 💙
@BananaHammock23 - EDD 13 August, surprise 💛
@MrsB2019x - EDD 13 August, TBC 💛
@Magik01 - EDD 13 August, TBC 💛
@Carefree1 - EDD 15 August, can't wait to find out 💛
@DressyGerbera - EDD 15 August, surprise 💛
@lucyrp - EDD 16 August, undecided 💛
@BertieBotts - EDD 16 August, want to know! 💛
@Whatshouldbemyusername - EDD 16 August, TBC 💛
@WolfMother326 - EDD 17 August, surprise 💛
@Smallbean27 - EDD 19 August, surprise 💛
@WatermelonKisses - EDD 20 August, surprise 💛
@alittlexmasmagic - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@Millymay13 - EDD 22 August, TBC 💛
@Notinthestarsigns - EDD 23 August, TBC 💛
@northernsquirrel- EDD 31 August, surprise 💛

Also is anyone doing the Kegel exercises (pelvic floor)? That's meant to help preventing PGP and also help in labour. I've been doing them daily for about 3 weeks now xx

Ahhh birth choices are also stressing me out!
I gave birth at a seperate midwife led unit last time, but it was a very quick first labour, 45 minutes from waters breaking till giving birth including a 25 minute drive, so it ended up being without any pain relief.
We've moved since and now live an hour away from any hospital so midwife is pushing for a homebirth but I'm just not sure!

Wrt pain relief, last time although worried about the implications of an epidural, I was much more open to that than other medication like pethidine. I don't even drink and hate that mental feeling of not being in control of myself, and that's something I really didn't want!
As it turned out, I delivered DD and the midwife said.. oh would you like a couple of paracetamol?

😃 to be honest (TMI alert) I got DH to do the massage for me. He got his reward almost immediately afterwards. It was noticeable the difference the stretches made over time.
I don't do nearly as many pelvic floor exercises as I should. My MW said to do them at every red traffic light, which was fair enough before WFH x

I did the perineal massage but it made me feel sick, I'm so squeamish with stuff like this so I was surprised how calm I was during labour, I really thought I wouldn't be! The midwife said I was so calm and focused, my family couldn't believe it as that's the opposite of me usually 😂 so you may surprise yourself how well you cope in birth! Your body takes over and you can do amazing things!

I had a graze with the first baby which was sore but healed fine. Actually it must have been a bit of a tear as I had some stitches.

Second baby no tears. I was terrified of episiotomy though but it didn't happen. I think they try not to unless the baby is stuck as it can be worse for healing.

Germany is a bit different to most European countries as they are quite pro natural birth here. All the hospitals have birth pools and last time I was given homeopathic medicine during labour! But you can also get an epidural if you want one. I had one last time but to be honest it wasn't a great experience because it didn't work. I am going to the bigger hospital this time for sure. It's not that I thought the staff were bad at this smaller one but I have just heard so much good stuff about the staff at the big hospital. They also have a nicu on site whereas DS2 had to be transferred alone at 5am last time and I didn't get moved with him and didn't get to see him again until I was discharged at 6pm!

I think the epidural didn't work for me because I wasn't exactly keeping still DS2 was back to back and I was having really strong contractions early on. In the UK I wouldn't even have been allowed one as I wasn't even 1cm dilated but I didn't know this until later.

I do have a friend who has nerve damage in her back which she thinks was from epidural, she gets a numb patch there which hurts if she sits still for too long like on a flight or long drive.

I've started doing kegel exercises everyday. I am bad at remembering that sort of thing so I downloaded a free app called 'Kegel Exercises' and it sends me a reminder every morning to do them.

I do think the lack of education around what actually can happen to your body during childbirth is the biggest cause of fear surrounding birth. I would strongly recommend you take a look at clare bourne physio on Instagram. She’s a specialist on pelvic health and her posts are so informative. She’s trying to raise awareness that there is a ton of help and support both pre and post natally out there but it can take some searching and advocating for yourself

Remember that the female body is a thing of wonder. They are literally designed to grow and birth a baby. It might not go smoothly all the time and sometimes things don’t go quite to plan but the body is remarkable at healing itself and there is lots of help out there if you need it

All this talk of kegels has got me doing some while scrolling so thank you I’m doing them most days but there are days where I forget. Think I read somewhere we’re meant to do them 3x per day..?

I used to do these exercises but still tore and my midwife did say sometime you may still tear and sometimes people don’t do the exercises and they don’t, it may just be your body. After all, a baby is coming out and if it’s fast and big, it may leave a mark!

For those worried about what I’ve said about tearing or being left, it’s honestly not to scare, I’ll always be truthful because it’s real life isn’t it and can’t sugar coat things because it’s not fair BUT I honestly didn’t have a bad birth at all. I got left because I was very chilled and calm, sometimes drifting off between contractions and also being 2/3cm dilated I shouldn’t really of been admitted. It went really fast from there but I was still calm and just deep breathing/eyes closed and midwives where with me all of the way as soon as I said I want to push.
Honestly the sensation of the contractions make you want to push it out anyway so even without medication I was fine pushing and wanted to (I’ve also been one who wanted drugging up to not feel a fly land on me 😂), I don’t have any emotional trauma or bad experience linked to it at all really but I’d prefer the c section because I’d prefer less risk to shitting myself for life now after already tearing that much but I do consider both and if I had no option, I’d still be fine with doing it all again even with no meds.

ps. I’m also a BIG chatterbox so I’m very sorry for my huge messages. My friends on WhatsApp have to put the kettle on when they see I’ve messaged 😂😂😂

Thank you for your honesty @coffeeandrainbows1! It’s so easy to get sucked into the horror stories isn’t it?

@mrsB2019x aw it is and I wouldn’t want anyone to be scared from what I’ve said because it hasn’t put me off at all and wouldn’t. It’s giving birth to a baby, there will be pain but it doesn’t put people off doing it multiple times (even those with horror stories) so we can cope and get through... and do it again 😂

I keep telling myself that billions of women before me have done it successfully, some multiple times. I personally have a high pain threshold too which I've reassured myself of when I went through the MCs. Maybe because I did a fair bit of sports when I was younger, I don't know, but I'm not particularly fragile normally minus my back. Hoping this might be a little bonus 😊🙏 xx

Hi ladies. Just an update on my test results - I got my NIPT back today and it was low risk of DS at 1 in 100,000. Thank you so much for the support you gave me on here the other day it really helped.

In terms of birth I’ve done it 3 times and honestly you’ll be surprised how amazing our bodies are. I have big babies (biggest was 10lb 12oz) and honestly I only had gas and air and no tears. Of course it’s all scary and I’m scared even though I’ve done it 3 times! But trust in your body and most of the time it will surprise you. And if you need a c section or intervention thats ok too! There’s no right or wrong and trust me everyone is scared! I wasn’t left for long periods in labor so maybe I was lucky.
@PurplePansy05 I know what you mean about long lasting effects but I think it is very rare.

Ah @LaceyMermaid I'm so happy for you ❤ I really had a feeling all would be well. Fantastic news and super low results indeed 🙏😘 Thank you to you and everyone else for the reassuring words, it is good to read something reaffirming our own amazing bodies 😊 That's a good starting point I think. xx

@PurplePansy05 thank you, it’s certainly been a tough time but I’m so lucky that mine have come back low risk. I feel for those who get a different outcome.
It’s perfectly normal to worry so don’t think you’re any different to anyone else - just take it one step at a time and do what feels right for you - mum knows best!

@LaceyMermaid great news ! My mw never explained about these tests to me, I’m regretting not doing them now.

100% agree about the birth. Our bodies are so amazing and so clever. I just started reading a book about hypo birth and its unbelievable how much new I’ve learnt about the birth and about my rights ..... so much I didn’t know when I gave birth to my DS. It gave me so much confidence

@RockyRockyRoad what wasn't explained? The screening at 12 weeks should have been discussed by your MW at booking in (with the appropriate section completed in your green notes) and again by the sonographer before the screening occurred? If you weren't offered it, that's not good.
NIPT is private so likely won't have been mentioned x

@LaceyMermaid Fantastic test results! 💪 also 10lb12 made my eyes water a bit.. 😂 you’re one powerful mama

I looked into perineal massage and found stats for it that show it basically made no difference for second births and I too am a bit squeamish about stuff like that don't even like putting my fingers inside my vagina so don't think its for me🤣 also for pelvic floor exercises there's an NHS app which is 2.99 I think which reminds you 3 times a day to do them which I find really handy. Although I did get annoyed with mine as sometimes I don't have time to do them. Haven't done any for a while.

@LaceyMermaid that’s great news and no doubt a massive relief xx

My NHS results finally came in the post today too which I’m glad I’ve now got and can file away.

Ladies - no idea I needed to start pelvic floor exercises this early on! I’ve not even thought of birth but not letting myself think about that just yet and just want to get to the 20week mark and then 24 week before anything gets discussed I just know I’ll be in the hospital and not at home.

I know books were previously discussed (apologies can’t remember who) if you’ve read them and can pick only one what would it be? Xx

10lb 12oz is one well fed baby 🤣 What were you eating @LaceyMermaid, asking for a friend? 🤣

I like your thinking @Alittlexmasmagic, might deploy DH to do the perineal massage in due course, bet he'd be better than me 😳😄 I'm already struggling a bit to bend over, at this rate my short arms won't be long enough to reach anyway 🤣 xx

@MrsB2019x @Fran919 thank you

Honestly my 10lb 12 baby came quicker and more easily than my other two so there’s really no difference (first was 8lb4oz second was 10lb5oz)

@Fran919 It's never too early to start pelvic floor exercises. I have a friend with weak pelvic floor that she didn't know about and her PGP started at 16 weeks, that wasn't fun when she had 24 weeks to go and it was getting progressively worse. I do them when I'm sat at my laptop usually, takes no time xx

@PurplePansy05 no idea nothing too terrible! I put 2 stone on with that pregnancy so half was baby nearly 🤣first time I put 4 stone, second time 3 stone and this time I’ve not put any weight on yet which I’m sure I’d put loads on with my others so all very different! I think that’s why my nuchal measurement was on the high side baby has a fat neck 🤣