August 2021 - Heading into the second trimester

[BertieBotts]

Old thread was about to fill up again

I will try to get to the car seat/pram Qs in a bit...

@wimbler - EDD 29 July, having a surprise! 💛
@Champson - EDD 22 August (but really June/July), TBC 💛💛💛
@Jessicapebbles - EDD 5 August (but having C-section at 39 weeks, so really July) 💛
@smurf123 - EDD 5 August (but likely to be July) 💛
@WhatEvenIsSleep EDD 2 August, TBC 💛
@Smushty14 - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Rattyclife - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Biscuitcat - EDD 10 August, having a surprise! 💛
@runnergirl123 - EDD 11 August, TBC 💛
@PurplePansy05 - EDD 12 August, Boy 💙
@BananaHammock23 - EDD 13 August, surprise 💛
@MrsB2019x - EDD 13 August, TBC 💛
@Magik01 - EDD 13 August, TBC 💛
@Carefree1 - EDD 15 August, can't wait to find out 💛
@DressyGerbera - EDD 15 August, surprise 💛
@lucyrp - EDD 16 August, undecided 💛
@BertieBotts - EDD 16 August, want to know! 💛
@Whatshouldbemyusername - EDD 16 August, TBC 💛
@WolfMother326 - EDD 17 August, surprise 💛
@Smallbean27 - EDD 19 August, surprise 💛
@WatermelonKisses - EDD 20 August, surprise 💛
@alittlexmasmagic - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@Millymay13 - EDD 22 August, TBC 💛
@Notinthestarsigns - EDD 23 August, TBC 💛
@northernsquirrel- EDD 31 August, surprise 💛

@BertieBotts don't worry I am also incredibly huge. I braved the scales yesterday and I have put on 2 stone during pregnancy (17 weeks tomorrow)!!! I've been on steroids until last week and I'm still on progesterone until 20 weeks which isn't helping at all. My thighs and my bum are huge which I didn't expect to happen in pregnancy or on the meds, and there is absolutely no hiding this. I look 6 months  so dont worry you are not alone!!!!

@Inmypjsagain 8 days???! You poor thing. Haemorrhoids have been threatening the last few days and they epically showed their ugly head today. It was grim AF! Isn't pregnancy fun?! 😂

You have the right to ELCS if you want one, you just might have to push for it as MrsB says. Take a copy of the NICE guidelines. MN Childbirth forum is incredibly helpful if you need any support!

WRT the health trusts, this is concerning. If you have any choice over where you will give birth it might be worth looking into what the options are. If you do not have the choice, then it might be worth trying to zen about it - there is no sense in stressing about something out of your control.

OTOH this might sound completely off the wall, but have you considered home birth at all? Home birth can actually be lower risk overall even for a first timer, because it tends to be much more relaxed and that can help the labour process along immensely. You also get 2 midwives one to one, always there - whereas in hospital your midwife will be in and out of the room and sometimes you'll be left alone. You can use gas and air, TENS, movement/position and a water pool for pain relief at home. In some areas, pethidine is also allowed. So it is really only epidural you can't have and you could transfer in if you decided you wanted one.

It's worth considering distance to hospital in case you needed to transfer in in an emergency, but if you are less than 30 minutes' drive away in traffic, this is still not a huge problem, because even in a true emergency it would take 20-30 minutes to prepare the operating theatre, summon an anaesthesiologist etc which can all be done whilst you're on the way. And it's quite rare for there to be an urgent time-sensitive emergency in home births anyway, because the midwives will be ultra alert to any risk indicators and tend to err on the side of caution so would transfer you in early if they thought there was any doubt.

I used to have a really good blog post saved about this but it's gone now. I'm going to see if I can find it anywhere.

Found it on the Wayback Machine but it's slow to load and the formatting is all wonky, you can read the story though :) It's entertainingly written as well as being interesting.

<a class="break-all" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20170622140331/havingitall.family/2017/birth-number-one-a-k-a-the-slowest-birth-of-all-time/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">web.archive.org/web/20170622140331/havingitall.family/2017/birth-number-one-a-k-a-the-slowest-birth-of-all-time/

@PurplePansy05 shame so many of us think the same way and I’m sorry you’ve had a bad experience before too. I also understand your worry about nhs trusts, my best friend is a clinical negligence solicitor specialising in births- I’ve had to tell him not to speak me about work anymore because it’s too much. But the bad cases are publicised far more than the good. I still think it’s so important that we and our birth partners are well researched and knowledgeable because that’s empowering, I do feel like those resources are lacking. What did people do before the internet?!

As to how hard it is to get an ELCS, I’m only going by google, I haven’t known anyone irl who hasn’t had either vaginal birth or an emergency c section. It does seem to mean you get a referral and have a few hoops to jump through, but from what I’ve read if a consultant refuses they should refer to someone who will carry it out. You’re also consultant lead which may make things different, as in you can go directly to the consultant without having to have the midwife refer you?

@notinthestarsigns hope the viewings go well and you get a quick sale! Good to hear consultant meeting went well. Hopefully as the pregnancy progresses the detachment fades :) xx

@Daffodil21 it’s odd I’m saying I don’t feel pregnant when I certainly have the symptoms! Thing is I’ve been taking laxatives for the last 5 days and nothing. I’m a bit anxious about actually going to the loo now and called my mum this evening to ask her advice. What happens if I can’t go?! Do I call the dr?! Haemorrhoids are awful and I hate the fact they name the bloody cream anusol 😂 hope they disappear for you soon and normality resumes to the digestive system!

@BertieBotts scrap a blog, you should write a book! Such a helpful post. I’d never even consider a home birth (my first thought oh the mess!! Lol) x

Never considerED a home birth*

Sorry, think it’s bed time 💤

@Inmypjsagain my colleague requested and was granted an ELCS as a FTM, without too much hoop jumping. She was Chorley/South Ribble, no underlying conditions just preference.xx

Thanks @Inmypjsagain, and I’m sorry if you haven’t had the best experience. All pregnant women should get the information and support that they need, the only thing I would say is that if you are not being offered extra appointments that is normally because there are less risks which is of course a good thing! Everyone deserves to be looked after in pregnancy though as it is not an easy time for any woman.

@BertieBotts thank you so much for sharing that blog post, it’s a brilliant read!

@Alittlexmasmagic thank you, that’s good to know! I’m still researching and pestering mum friends about their epidural experiences! I’m sure they think I’ve gone mad xx

@notinthestarsigns thank you- I know I’m lucky to not need lots of appointments etc. and I really don’t mean to be coming across needy, I just thought there’d be more resources or guidance? Im over the initial shock of the hands off experience too- I just feel the first 12 weeks especially is an anxious and bizarre time where youre feeling really crap and no one wants to deal with you. But I get midwives would be inundated with “is this normal” 24/7 but it’s just that reassurance when you’ve had cramps all day that it is okay? Anyway im rambling again! but I’ve ordered lots of books, spam this thread and live on google! 😊 I thank you all for listening xxx

Milly isn't it? :o I am just enjoying it all over again. She's so funny.

I'm a bit conflicted because my mum had 4 C-sections, one emergency and 3 planned and actually looking at my close circle vast majority had C-sections too. Deep inside I don't think this would be my first choice, but I think I need more time to weigh it up, read up on hypnobirthing etc.

Bertie, these are really interesting comments actually. However, home birth is something that I find utterly petrifying and not in agreement with me. I just never saw the appeal of it. Your arguments make sense to me, totally, I just naturally feel that the birth belongs in the hospital. That's how I feel I think.

@Inmypjsagain I went to the toilet for the first time since last Thursday today I was scared but actually it was better than my last story! How strange we're all so constipated! Are haemorrhoids normal in pregnancy, do they disappear after?

I'm more and more exhausted too, falling asleep on the sofa before 9pm is not like me. I'm in bed already actually, about to dose off xx

@Inmypjsagain you don’t come across as needy at all, I really don’t think covid and all the lockdowns has helped how supported women feel either!

Me and my younger brother were both born at home. My mum and dad still live in the house now and I always think it was quite nice that I was born there! I wouldn’t be able to have a home birth due to being high risk but it is something that I would at least look into if I had the option.

@PurplePansy05 I’m the same, home birth really doesn’t appeal to me, though I can totally see why it would for some people! I hate the thought of being in the throes of labour, then something going wrong and having to get up to be carted to hospital 15/20 mins away. I’d much rather be on site!

That and the clean up afterwards @Inmypjsagain I am totally with you there

I am considering a home birth because the thought of being able to get into my own bed with my OH straight after seems very appealing. However not sure I like the lack of healthcare professional presence as my last was born in hospital. I've chosen a local birth unit but unsure as to how I feel about that at the moment as there's obviously only 2 midwives there. Lots to think about.

@Inmypjsagain that sounds awful! I'm really not going to complain about haemorrhoids anymore!! I would be tempted to call the GP? I couldn't imagine not going for that long (hoping to avoid that symptom!)

We live an hours drive away from the hospital. All these posts are making me nervous 😱

For those worried about interventions/stitches etc. I had a second degree tear and episiotomy in my last labour and I wouldn't call it a negative experience at all. Yes, it would have been much nicer to come away without those things but honestly at the time I didn't give a hoot, I just wanted my baby to arrive safely and if it helped in that moment then it was fine. Also the recovery really wasn't too bad and I look back on my labour as an incredible experience, even though it was extremely long. I actually kind of can't wait to do it again despite the pain, there's just something so special about it/the anticipation, it is so exciting. I know I am lucky to feel this way and I appreciate that many women have traumatic births and I also believe that women should be able to choose an ELCS but I just wanted to add some positivity to an area where it's often filled with negatively and horror stories etc. I didn't do hypnobirthing but I was very calm and had quite a lot of knowledge but no plan so I think that helped.

Sorry a lot replied about c sections so just going to do a bit reply/comment and hope those see it that replied as I’m useless with the tagging! 😄
I never knew that at all about c sections being arranged later on, for some reason I always thought I’d heard people telling me dates they had booked in quite early on but if that’s normal procedure I’m fine with that 😊

Regarding my 4th degree tearing, I was in hospital from around 2/3cm dilated but that was due to my contractions hurting me but i then just got left until I was ready to push so got no meds (and I wanted them alllll 😂) but those that are worried, I can honestly say I didn’t feel any of it and when they told me I’d be going for surgery quick I was confused as I’d not felt the tearing 🤭. I’d previously done all the exercises they tell you to prevent tearing but I think it just went too quick and apparently the midwife couldn’t ‘control’ the tearing like they apparently would try. Even in surgery I was absolutely fine too! It was painful to walk later but I can’t tell if the level of pain was just normal after giving birth because I always thought it was. Now I will say I do struggle with sex sometimes so if I turn a certain way or a leg goes too high, I can feel the sore from scarring and also if I’m constipated but it’s rare and this is probably my fault for never requesting a check up after it all but I’d rather be left alone down there really now than need corrective surgery😂 but if it was my only option, I’d do it again fine and I’d say I'm more scared of c sections!

@coffeeandrainbows1

That is my other fear of a natural birth not been given pain relief when requested, I I choose a natural delivery I would like everything under the sun to control my pain!!!

Same @LyraShaeLilly, there’s no medal for choosing no pain relief, I want an epidural as soon as I’m admitted 😂

Being left alone for too long is my biggest fear, what if something goes wrong then? This shouldn't be happening.

I don't want to be left with long term consequences of tears such as issues with sex/going to the toilet either. Is there a way of preventing this?

If anything, the above issues make me lean towards ELCS more.

Those of you who had tears and/or episiotomy, how long did it take you to heal and do you have any long term issues?

Also re epidural, I was convinced I wanted it too, but I am on the fence again having read the NHS website, there can be lasting damage after this if not done correctly (paralysis) and also awful headaches. Whilst rare, I now think this wouldn't be what I'd choose to have as a first port of call personally. xx

@PurplePansy05 if, and that's if you are alone, there is always a panic button to hand. You should never be left alone at critical stages and if there are any concerns you'll also be hooked up to a monitor. Pain relief (other than paracetamol) is only offered after 4cm x
For avoiding tears we were recommended perineal massage in antenatal classes.

@PurplePansy05 also regarding epidural. @BertieBotts might be more knowledgeable on this but I'm sure in Europe epidurals are far more common because no medals for pain. I've had one and to be honest, the worst part is sitting still for them. Will be much easier the earlier into labour you are to have it between contractions. They're bloody magic once in though. You can even catch up on sleep with one of those beauties x

I think everyone’s right re the care. I am surprised at how little you actually are seen or have any interaction. I always assumed there would be more. But, saying that, even in the throes of my MMC at 12 weeks, there wasn’t care really. As soon as I had my MVA, I was sent away and never saw a medical professional again.

I feel the same about the epidural @PurplePansy05 I suffer with my back and this can make it worse. Likewise I also don’t like the idea of not being able to feel my legs - totally freaks me out 🥴. But, totally understand why people want it.

@Alittlexmasmagic I saw something about perineal massage - it popped up on Instagram. I was like what on earth 😳. Who knew you had to do these things xx

@Carefree1 I agree 100% with everything you've said.

I saw something online about perineal massage, it was a US website which suggested sticking fingers up your vagina and massaging towards your anus, I didn't find that appealing and knowing my luck I'd end up with some sort of an infection I might wait for my NCT classes before massaging, but I want to do it definitely xx