Pregnancy after loss - Autumn babies 2021

[Pancakes7]

Hi All, I have only just got my BFP and it's still faint atm. I had an mmc in May 2018, I then gave birth to my son May 2019. I had another mmc July 2020 and have been ttc ever since. I just got my BFP yesterday, so very early days. I'm not ready to join both groups quite yet. I thought this could be a space for us all going through pregnancy after loss. As we all understand the nerves/anxiety that go with this. I hope it's useful.

A bit of back ground on me. I'm 33, married. I have a 20 month old son. I haven't returned to work yet since maternity. I returned for 2 weeks then was put on furlough. I will be going back part time, doing 3 days.

That actually sounds really nice for a scan appointment @vitaminb33 😊 I hate doctors and hospitals 😬

I’d love to have not got one @NorthernGirl1991 but I was honestly so worried about mine because I got pregnant one cycle after my MMC and I was convinced it was either ectopic or there was no baby and it was remnants of my MMC 🤦‍♀️. So I was driving myself nuts!

@NorthernGirl1991 I just can't wait that long to find out if all is ok. If something is wrong I figure the sooner I know the better before I get more attached. But do what's right for you. Do you have any mw / nhs scan booked yet? I'm also 7 weeks tomorrow so we're the same.

@Pancakes7 That totally makes sense.
I’ve got my first midwife appointment a week tomorrow. I’ve requested the same midwife I had last time as I thought a familiar face would make things easier! Have you got a midwife appointment soon? Xx

@NorthernGirl1991 I had one booked for 10th but I delayed if a week to 17th as I don't want to do bloods etc before I know all is ok. I'm not a fan of needles anyway and don't want to discuss it all before my scan. It's an in person appointment then I think I'll have a phone call appointment too.

Happy women’s day, ladies! This is a reminder to thank ourselves and our bodies for being the strongest human on this planet earth! We rule the world, ladies! Xxx

Ladies I'm sort of freaking out a bit. What if it's bad news... sorry I can't seem to shift the fear atm. Friday is getting close and I'm so so scared. I'm feeling so anxious. Not much point to this post.

@Pancakes7 sending hugs! Not much practical advice as it is all consuming when it gets close, just be kind to yourself. You are nearly there, possible meditation or positive affirmations? I’m so confident for you and your good news on Friday!

@Pancakes7 I'm so sorry you're stressing, it's completely understandable after what you've been through. We're all here for you and you'll get through this week and the scan will be okay! I agree just maybe try and distract yourself while you're getting through the next few days (if you can find something distracting)?

@PumpkinEverything yes I'm relieved about the strange barn!

@NorthernGirl1991 I completely understand, I think my EPU would have offered me an early scan but as that's where I found out I'd rather do everything possible to avoid going back there! If I couldn't get a scan somewhere different I might have waited until the 12 week scan.

Happy women’s day 😊

@Pancakes7 this is exactly how I was, I think it’s so hard to not be nervous and worried. We’ll all here in the lead up to it to help get you through, but it’s going to be okay! Try to keep yourself as busy as possible if you can, because I think it helps take your mind off things and time goes a bit faster. Sending you hugs today ❤️

Thank you @MrsF111 @vitaminb33 @PumpkinEverything I've been out for a walk this morning with a friend. So it was good to get out. I'm seeing a friend tomorrow, then seeing my Mum for a few days. So at least I don't have any days on my own. But still going to have quiet times. I'll try and do some positive thinking/meditation later. 🤞🏻🌈

@Pancakes7 You are going to get through this time, its tough but so are you!! Sounds like you have a good week ahead! Sending loads of good vibes!! xx

@JRH4622 Thank you for the good vibes. 🤞🏻🌈 I hope you're ok. X

Hi all,
Hope you don’t mind me jumping on this thread. I’m 5 weeks today, due date 8th November hopefully.
I experienced a MMC in October which I can honestly say was the most devastating experience. I’m full of fear this time round, and finding it very hard to be positive even though I currently have no reason to think anything is off. I think experiencing a miscarriage changes your entire perception- seeing the two blue lines now doesn’t automatically mean baby to me anymore.
I’ve got a private scan booked for 2 weeks time, I couldn’t bare to wait until 12 weeks to find out. We had a private scan in October and I was so glad we did it so we wouldn’t have found out the bad news after 12 weeks.
It’s nice to find a thread with similar stories, it’s reassuring!

@Pancakes7 you're totally justified to feel anxious after what you've gone through, it's your brains way of processing what happened. Don't feel like it's you not coping or anything like that. Sending you a massive hug, I hope you're able to stay busy until Friday.

My hospital appointment went as well as it could do today. My son (his name was Frank, I don't like referring to him as DS or the baby, he has a name and I don't get to use it as much as I'd like) didn't have spina bifida, he was perfectly formed and healthy, it was my waters breaking that caused him to die. May be linked to the large haematoma I had and the several heavy bleeds, but we'll never know. But what happened wasn't down to any genetic issues or infections, I was just incredibly unlucky but it won't impact this pregnancy, which is the main thing. Consultant was lovely, she had my file through so congratulated me on this pregnancy and wants to share my care with the usual consultant so she can be part of this pregnancy. Relieved, but drained. Going into the hospital was awful, but I've done it now, so it'll be easier next time. Just need weds night to hurry up for my scan.

@imisscoffee I'm so sorry about your son. Frank is a lovely name, my grandaas name too 🙂 I hope today at least gave some closure with regards to knowing the cause (not that it makes the loss any easier!) and hopefully some reassurance that they are going to watch you very careful in this pregnancy. 
@Pancakes7 hope your doing OK. Scanxiety is a big thing I think for most if not all of us who have suffered losses unfortunately but hopefully the time passes quickly and you have a positive scan experience on Friday.

Welcome @bookwitch13 😊 we’re all feeling the same so you’re not alone at all. Quite a few scans happening in this group over the next week too.

@imisscoffee lovely name 😊 glad it went as well as it could have, and at least now you hopefully won’t have that worry that it’s something that could affect this pregnancy too 🤞🏻 Take it easy tonight, I’m sure you’re exhausted after today. Wednesday will be here before you know it too!

Welcome @bookwitch13 I'm sorry for your loss. Congratulations on your BFP. I know it's very scary. I'm so anxious, I've got my first early scan on Friday. It's good I've got a scan booked.

@imisscoffee I'm glad you've had the appointment now, I know it was a hard thing to go through. I hope it helps give some closure for you. Also good that consultant will also be involved with this pregnancy.

Thank you @imisscoffee @Smurf123 I'm trying to keep busy and stay positive. 🤞🏻🌈

That was meant to say it's good you've got a scan booked 🤦🏼‍♀️ @bookwitch13*

@imisscoffee that sounds so hard, I'm glad the consultant was good and that it shouldn't affect this pregnancy. Your little boy had a beautiful name.

Welcome @bookwitch13 - think we're on the same timeline, I'm 5 weeks too. I think the fear is definitely something shared by everyone here, it's nice to know it's normal and share that with people.

I've just realised now that you've estimated the due date that I must be due around the time in November I had my MMC. That's kind of rough! Or maybe that's a nice serendipity. Not entirely sure how to feel about it.

I like to think of things like that as being a nice thing @vitaminb33 😊 I should be due only 2 days off the date I found out I was pregnant with my MMC 🤞🏻

I feel like last week I had so much reassurance from my scan, and this week I’m still feeling so weary about it. I don’t like that feeling as I had it after my first scan with my MMC. I know I’m being silly, but I can’t help but worry something is wrong because the first scan I was measuring a day ahead, and now this time I’m measuring right on the date. Even as I’m typing this I know I’m being silly but I can’t help it 🤦‍♀️ I’ve also seen a few mentions recently of people seeing the baby wriggling about at their scan around this time, whereas I didn’t see that as they were still, and not I’m worried I should have?! (I was 8+6 yesterday). The lady yesterday was using a machine she wasn’t familiar with as it’s new and I felt like she didn’t zoom in enough compared to other ones I’ve had, and also seemed like she had to move certain ways to be able to see the heartbeat, and if she wasn’t in that position it looked like baby didn’t have one?! She never said anything negative, I think I just feel unsettled.
Husband told me tonight he’s actually excited again now this time has passed and after yesterday and I think that’s also spooked me a bit 😔

I know I’m maybe overthinking it, but hoping some of you can maybe help clarify any of my worries as google isn’t giving me any answers 🤦‍♀️
At this point I think I’m going to wait on my 12 week scan and not be booking any private ones as I think any further ones are going to get me really anxious waiting for them again 😬

Thank you lovelies, I really appreciate your kind words ❤️

@vitaminb33 hopefully being due around the same time as your MMC will help you to heal, I know it's easier said than done but you can remember the date while celebrating this baby's birthday. My children are both November babies, and Frank was due this May but arrived last November too, which in a weird way brings me comfort to know he shared one thing with his siblings. This baby however is due mid October so hopefully will arrive before November!

@PumpkinEverything when I saw the consultant today, she asked if I'd had any scans yet and I mentioned I'd got a private one booked and she said she discourages early scans, especially for women who have experienced loss as it can create more anxiety than reassurance. I know it's easier said than done but we've got to try and assume all is well until we're proved otherwise, else the anxiety will consume us. I think you've made the right choice to wait for your 12 week one now.

@vitaminb33 My EDD with my son was the exact date I discovered my mmc the year before. He was born earlier in the end and my EDD changed at my dating scan but still very close. I felt it was kind of meant to be. So I would take my as a positive thing. 🌈

@PumpkinEverything I'm sorry you're feeling anxious again. I completely understand though. As soon as you relax, you think of something else that could happen. But with 2 positive scans I am sure all will be fine. If the woman wasn't familiar with the equipment that's probably why you didn't see baby wiggle. Baby could also have been asleep. I know how hard it is though. I'm terrified. But you have 2 positive scans. Get the scans out and look at them, remind yourself all is ok. X