Due December 2019- continued

[badfurday]

Looks like our last thread got to 1k!
How we all doing? 😊

9 days over . I went to 41 and 5 last time and I think I’m heading that way again....... at this point it feels like it’ll never, ever end and I’ll be pregnant forever

I had my baby a week ago now. Nothing at all went to plan. I didn't have my nice birth centre birth i was so looking forward to.

My waters broke last Wednesday and we're thick green. So meconium. Went to hospital, threatened with induction drugs. Has an epidural. Thought might as well. Was connected to at least 1 drip, the electrode monitor thing that goes in to baby's skull, the ctg or wherever machine and a catheter so i wasn't going anywhere.

Epidural very one sided. Became addicted to gas and air. So i didn't really get any rest at all as it still hurt on one side.

By the time i did catch a nap i woke to 4 doctors saying we needed to get a move on.

Dilated to 10cm. Couldn't feel contractions at all due to epidural and they were really slow. Anyway, so pushed 3 times after having hauled sent into all 4s like a dog. Hoard of doctors and anaesthetists cane barging in saying they weren't going to wait for me to push, baby needed to come now. That they would use forceps but baby too high up and facing song way. So i told them I'd rather have a csec which i did and she was born at but 1136 on the 19.12.19.

Then i couldn't breast feed, then she lost to much weight cos i was trying to bf and i had to stay an extra day whilst they put her on formula.

We got home on the 22nd. Everyone at the hospital were absolutely awesome. But my emotions are everywhere and i can't do anything due to recovering from this csec. Such ihsce fit better real sucky. Bleeding.

I'm so sorry you had that experience I know the main thing is that baby and you are healthy now, and at home. But it does not sound like the doctors helped you feel at all in control of the situation. Hopefully you have happier times ahead with your new wee one

I think they are just behaving as doctors/surgeons do especially in a situation like that when they decide the baby needs to come out. (My heartrate was also tachcardic, another thing on top of it all!) Not sure why they all had to come in. You only needed one surgeon and one anaesthetist, reg can shut outside.

Ultimately the baby was well and had no infection at the end of it all. Thatis what matters.

I am kinda getting over it now I'm home especially. I just feel sad i can't look back to the day and really see it positively. Best moment of my life and also the worst.

Anyway, at birth she was a whopping 8ibs7oz! From little old me.

Hope you have this soon!

No I totally agree with you. Definitely sounds like usual Dr attitude, but as you say, surely you didn't need so many medical professionals at once, that would distress anyone in any situation I think.

In time I am sure you will be able to look back and think you got yourself through that, and it was worth it, as she looks gorgeous!! ♥️ So well done you and congratulations!

@fonxey sorry that you had such a rough experience, it sounds horrendous. I had slightly similar experience with my first, epidural, catheter, hooked up for monitoring, team of doctors rushing in - it feels overwhelming. If you ever want another baby in the future I found the second child much easier and the birth has been a bit of a healing experience- so there is hope, it doesn’t have to be like that next time x

@fonxey

I know how u feel I had a terrible birth hospital for 6 days. And I'm worried the epidural has messed me up as he messed up the first time. I have bladder issues now and piss myself basically I'm trying to find my muscles for stop it. Worst experience of my life and my hospital care was not great. Wrong drugs and information given to me. Midwife said to me on Tuesday. When is your next MRI scan for your placenta.. I said no idea wasn't aware I needed one. So very poor.

@Funnybunnyfluff you have had it so much worse than me. Apart from becoming some kind of exhibit my treatment was really good.

I just hated being there.

Shame it was my first baby as it's definitely put me off. I suffer with white coat syndrome and scared of hospitals lol. Hasn't helped my experience 🙈.

Least I have a beautiful healthy girl 😁

@fonxey aww no, that sounds very similar to my birth. Baby had had a poo and I was put on a drip. I planned on having a water birth with just gas and air too but ended up on the labour ward with an epidural! Baby’s heart rate kept going down with my contractions but luckily I’d become fully dilated at this point and was rushed to theatre for forceps with Caesarean section on the cards too if that didn’t work. I gave birth after 23 hours labour via forceps delivery. That was two weeks ago and I’m only just feeling better now.

My baby also lost too much weight being breast fed and I absolutely beat myself up about it. He lost over 10%. It took me five days to put him on a bottle but it’s the best decision I made and my midwifes were amazing.

I hope you are feeling better soon and enjoy your first week of being a mummy. I wish I hadn’t stressed so much looking back now xx

I built up my "ideal birth" in my head so much even though I said but to and i really believed that is be prepared. But I wasn't. I had a text book pregnancy, nothing went wrong at all.

I so wanted a birth in the birth unit that when we did the tour i hardly looked at the delivery unit!

So by the time i got in i think i was in a state of shock. It was like i want aware of anything around me and my body freely entirely heavy and useless like it wouldn't move. Every movement began to hurt. It was so weird.

Truth is i can't even see things lined to the birth. I bought bikini tops cos i wanted a water bath and was having a hard time finding one in winter...

The tens machine we rented is hiding in a cupboard.

It feels really silly. I have this wonderful daughter and the birth probably no worse than others thst didn't go to plan.

Hi Foxney, it’s not silly at all- what you’re feeling is a valid reaction to what sounds like at least an unpleasant experience or in fact a traumatic one. Don’t do what I did, first time round, and then beat yourself up over totally normal reactions to things beyond your control. And I firmly believe that as ultimately important as having your baby delivered safely is- there is so much more to a ‘healthy’ birth experience. My second birth ( aimed for a home birth- couldn’t go anywhere near a hospital) was much better and in fact I opted after 20 hrs to transfer in and have forceps - which sounds awful but I was utterly delighted about as it was all MY choice and I felt in control. I hope it doesn’t put you off having any more kids if that’s what you want. And just be kind to yourself- it sounds like a lot and it all just takes a while to process xx

FYI: things take a while to settle and memories to be processed and stored. But if you find you’re still having issues after a while, avoiding things linked to birth/ plans etc. Might be worth speaking to someone as can be a feature of PTSD. I found talking about it ( a lot!! And I mean a lot. Esp. To my partner really helped. Don’t worry about going over it- your brain just needs to make sense of what’s happened)

There are also groups that can help with this sort of thing. I live in Scotland and there's a group in Edinburgh that deals with women who have had traumatic births in the past, to try and help them work through it. Obviously a healthy baby is so important at the end, but so is our own mental health, and our birth experience impacts on that.

It defo affects your mental health, giving birth 9 days ago and what I went through over the 6 days with shite care makes me think I'd never have another baby ever. Going to try go for a walk tomorrow as I feel like I never want to leave the house 🙈.

I'm a confident person but it's definitely knocked me.

I'm so sorry you feel like this. I do think first step is admitting it, which you have. But also don't forget, it's still early days. You need to give yourself time to heal, not just physically And give yourself credit for going through it for your little one!

How is everyone doing?

Definitely struggling a bit it'll be 2 weeks tomorrow since giving birth but only 4 days since being home. Finding BF incredibly difficult tbh.

Yeah I'm finding it hard too I have a just turned 1 year old who is refusing to sleep at night too lol if I don't laugh I'll cry!
I keep telling myself it's only for a little while and it'll pass... but it feels like forever

@Dec19baby I bf for 5 days and give up. Wasn’t worth it in my case.

I am really struggling right now. Baby is 5 weeks and ended up in hospital via ambulance this week with ?infection. Unsure of cause yet and two failed lumbar punctures. Been here 3 days so far and probably here until end of week as they are pumping as many antiobiotics into him as possible to be on the safe side. Absolutely petrified.

@bobble53 I got home from hospital with my little guy yesterday he had bronchitis and we were in for a couple of days... it's horrible isn't it!
Hope your little one is on the mend soon and I'm thinking of you... it's so SOO tough watching them being poked & prodded especially when your exhausted too, just take each day as it comes and coffee is your friend and remember to eat xxx 💐

@December2019 aww no I hope your little boy is better now and settling back home.

It really is such an awful time. I didn’t stop crying the whole of yesterday and everyone kept asking if he was my first baby. He is, but I think they thought I was being overprotective too but it’s hard not to when your tiny baby is all wired up isn’t it?!

@bobble53 I know exactly what you're going through. We were in hospital for 10 days after birth as he had an infection. He was on antibiotics for 7 days. He was like a pin cushion the whole time he was in as he was extremely tricky to get blood from. He had an LP as well. It's so hard to watch.

@Dec19baby I hope your little one is better now. What infection did he have? My boys bloods have come back showing raised infection which I don’t get as he’s on iv antiobiotics. Having to wait to speak to doctor soon. So upset.