June 2019 - Part 7!

[Kescilly]

Hi ladies! Picking names, packing hospital bags - third trimester here we come!

I thought I'd start out with the stats this time and I'll post the updated name list in a bit. I've just included the data that I have, since a lot of people are missing bits (or quite possibly I've missed their posts). We come from all over, so I'll put that bit in another post later as well.

Our average age at estimated due date is 33! That should help some of us who are feeling older.

And that's not just because we're all second-timers! In fact, most of us are having our first baby this year.

Baby #1 - 31
Baby #2 - 26
Baby #3 - 9
Baby #4 - 1
Babies 1&2 together! - 1

Fifteen of us are expecting lovely little boys, nineteen of us are expecting darling little girls, and at least sixteen of us are waiting to be surprised!

The average due date is June 13th, and the most popular due date is June 24th. We don't have anyone expecting on the 15th, 23rd, 27th, or 30th as far as I can tell.

And if you happen to have a baby on my birthday (June 16th), your baby will be born on Father's Day this year!

Thanks everyone! I feel marginally more chipper today  such a relief to have one less thing to worry about.

@Kescilly I feel like we're each other's mirror images! I only know one person who's had a baby in the US - and she had both of hers 12 weeks early, so not in typical circumstances. I feel like I identify a lot more with the attitudes on mumsnet though...

@stellarfox I might have to join the Reddit group just to see what it's like. I'm a bit leery of the Baby Bumps/Pregnant boards though. I got downvoted to hell on one thread for saying I didn't like maternity clothes and was trying to avoid them also living in NYC, it's not like I have a ton in common with 95% of the rest of the US.

@imtakingabath glad it's not just me! I've read people online say that they get bigger and can't move as much, but then equally I've heard people say that it's a myth and not justification for reduced movement.

This reduced movement business stresses me out. I feel so much responsibility all the time.

@allfurcoatnoknickers we totally are mirror images! I identify much more with the medicalised US mindset so it's been a struggle for me here. I can feel myself adopting British mindsets about certain things though, which leaves me feeling like I don't really belong anywhere!

Don't worry about the Reddit downvotes. I get downvoted and upvoted for the most random things. And if anyone so much as breathes the word "American" in some of the British subreddits they are downvoted to oblivion. You have to develop a thick skin to post there. Or go on revenge downvoting sprees, whichever makes you feel better.

In some ways the US is a lot more diverse, so I don't think NYC is as much "us and them" the way London is here. Let me know if there's anything I can help you with!

@Kescilly I was hesitant at first but now I am all over the super medicalized birth. My consultant has offered to induce me at 39 weeks, and get me the Pitocin and epidural at the same time, so I don't have to deal with Labour pain. My Hospital - New York-Presbyterian has an on call team of anesthetists who only work the Labour and delivery suites, so you'll never run the risk of not having an epidural available. I am already scheming as to how to get my hands on one of the private rooms with a Manhattan skyline view.

NYC definitely has an element of us and them, but it's much, much less overt than in the UK.

I'll definitely ask if I have any questions! Thanks so much for the offer.

ahhh thanks @toasterstrudle that makes me feel better already!

@imtakingabath - snap. I've been sitting at my desk on a ball all day trying to bounce the baby head down :).

@Kescilly I've also been feeling more muffled/ less strong movements in the last couple of weeks and it was worrying me a bit (another anterior placenta here). But I've had the baby's heart rate checked for various reasons in the last week and she is just fine. It feels like the whole movements thing is so subjective, and the patterns are so variable, so it's hard to know when to be concerned. They always say if in doubt get checked up, but then again it's not realistic to be bouncing back and forth from hospital every couple of days! I'm taking the view that as long as I can feel her move regularly I'm going to try not to worry..

I love this thread! I'm expecting my first baby 24th June and topi e seems to be going so slowly. Currently 27+1. Is anyone else suffering with severe blocked nose? I'm starting to struggle to sleep

@mrshadders Yes! I keep thinking it must be a cold but it isn't!

@2countries the only thing getting me through is Sinex! Feel like I can't live without it!

@mrshadders have you tried the Breathe Right nasal strips? They were an absolute lifesaver for me during my 3 week cold, really helped me get some sleep!

I thought the thread was really quiet, I didn’t realise there was a new one so belated placemarking.

I worked out today that dds due date was 21st of a month and this one’s due date is also 21st (of another month). With really weird cycle lengths thanks such a coincidence!

@mrshadders I'm the same and it's made me start snoring in the night!

Has anyone thought ahead to the birth and what they will do about visitors? I've said to DP I don't want visitors at hospital when I'm trying to establish breastfeeding etc.. he thinks I'm being a bit selfish, he has a slightly overbearing family who I know will want to wait at the hospital during my labour. Decided not to tell them when I go into labour but having a hard time convincing him!

@fee1234 I think we're going to say family only at hospital, as in our parents, our brothers (we have one each) and my soon to be sister in law if they want to visit. After that we're going to allow ourselves a few days at home before anyone other than immediate family visit. Don't need the pressure of entertaining while trying to get to know our baby.

@fee1234 you're well within your rights to say no hospital visitors. To be fair I don't think you tend to stay in that long anymore I believe you can even be home the same day! As for your DH...you're doing all the hard work so you get the final say

I’m 100% on not telling anyone when I’m in labour. In fact I really loved ringing my mam upafterwards and saying “I had a baby!”. Luckily my family are very chill and happy to follow my lead on visits etc. I enjoyed having some visits but also enjoyed when they were over!

I’m 28 weeks and all of a sudden I feel Very Huge and Very Pregnant, more like I’m in the mid-30s weeks! I think it’s just because I’ve had a bit of a bump growth spurt in the last few days and I’m feeling all stretched out.

Yes to blocked nose! Although my morning nose blow has turned into a morning minor nosebleed 🤔 I've just been to pregnancy aqua yoga which was great but I now feel awful upset stomach etc so wondering if it's a coincidence or if I've jiggled things round too much...

I've said I don't want any hospital visitors at all (apart from DP obviously) I'll see people when I'm back in my own space! Unless we're in for more than a few days of course.

I always find the postnatal visitors discussions so interesting on MN. I wonder if it's a London thing, but highly unlikely that any/many people would even consider visiting aside from immediate family (certainly nobody just drops round...). I was in hospital overnight with DD, she was born 2am and my parents and brother and sister all came to the hospital in the afternoon and I was thrilled to see them. My parents then stayed with us a few days (mum stayed a week). More of a problem was DP's parents flying in from France a week later and his dad sticking a fecking video camera in my face every three seconds (including on a very difficult walk to the MW after DD lost too much weight) but I don't think they will be able to come this time due to some medical issues.
I can totally understand why you wouldn't want hordes of people showing up though!!

I've got my mum booked in for when DP goes back to work to take up the spare bed for a bit so nobody else can come for anything more than a day trip 😂

I plan on having general visitors here when home but told ex he has to stay away for a couple of weeks. He’s been so horrible to me and caused so much hurt and pain that I can’t hve him taint the post natal period too. He’s ruined this pregnancy and made boding with the baby difficult. I feel I’m too vulnerable straight after birth and need to be left alone. We need to bond and get it right, I can’t have him coming in and upsetting me.

@Napssavelives just do what's right for you and I'm sure all will be ok

My family and most of my friends live 3-4hrs away. I’m wondering if anyone will come and see me 😂

What is everyone’s thoughts on 4D scans? Anyone had one before?

@napssavelives I hope you’re doing OK, you definitely do what’s right for you xx

@Curlywurly3 I had one a few weeks ago at 27 weeks, it was a 'HD Live 4D' scan and it was amazing, soo clear. It cost £69 but worth it in my opinion, I know some people get a bit freaked out by them though! Will attach a pic to show you

31 weeks today! 😬

My parents live in the US so our options are limited. We’ve decided that they’ll come to stay with us around the time I’m due. My dad will stay two weeks and my mom can hopefully stay a month or so and help out.

I’m a little nervous because I’d never normally have them here for that long, but I suspect we will be happy for the help.

I don’t know what my ILs will want or expect. They aren’t very pushy, so I think it will be okay.

Postnatal care was one of the things we talked about at the NCT class last night. The other couples seemed nice. The class was informative, but I’m not sure I 100% believe everything our instructor has to say!

@Curlywurly3 we ended up doing a 3D (4D?) scan a couple weeks back. We were both skeptical of them but really just wanted someone to confirm the gender, and a local place was offering special deals. It was kind of cool! We have these blurry pics that probably don’t look like much to anyone else but I find myself looking at them quite a lot.

@Kescilly how are you finding NCT? We start next week and I'm really excited!

Been at the hospital this morning as hadn't felt the baby move. They hooked me up to the monitor and baby had its back right to my belly so she said no wonder I couldn't feel anything. Heartbeat was fine although difficult to find. Waiting for a call and a scan to be booked in! Quite scary, anyone else been through that?

Just to warn our about in-laws. Pre dd I didn’t find mine pushy at all and thought they would be very cued by what we said but as soon as baby was here it completely changed. Maybe I’m unlucky.

Last time we had pil and my parents visit in hospital. This time I’m tempted to say just dh and dd. I’d really like to see my mum whilst in hospital but I won’t be able to manage that without mil coming to visit too (or else apparently it won’t be fair on mil ). I’m hoping maybe it’ll work that my mum can bring dd to hospital so I’ll seeher that way.

Having a super sicky feeling day today and it’s so bad I’m still in bed :(

@mrshadders good luck! I admit I’ve been a bit skeptical about NCT, but we both agreed that yesterday was useful. And everyone seemed quite nice and friendly. I think it’s helping us to get in the right mindset and so far I’m glad that we signed up.

@Reastie I’m sorry that you’re feeling so awful again. Do rest up!

I hear what you’re saying about ILs. It’s hard to know how mine will be. I’m not sure how to balance fairness either since my parents will be here and have access to us and baby immediately. On the other hand, they won’t get to visit again for months while ILs have their own one-on-one time with baby (if they desire). I don’t want to look like I’m favoring my own parents too much and shutting my ILs out. But I do wish we lived closer to my family and ultimately I’m going to be more comfortable with my own mother than my MIL.