June 2019 - Part 7!

[Kescilly]

Hi ladies! Picking names, packing hospital bags - third trimester here we come!

I thought I'd start out with the stats this time and I'll post the updated name list in a bit. I've just included the data that I have, since a lot of people are missing bits (or quite possibly I've missed their posts). We come from all over, so I'll put that bit in another post later as well.

Our average age at estimated due date is 33! That should help some of us who are feeling older.

And that's not just because we're all second-timers! In fact, most of us are having our first baby this year.

Baby #1 - 31
Baby #2 - 26
Baby #3 - 9
Baby #4 - 1
Babies 1&2 together! - 1

Fifteen of us are expecting lovely little boys, nineteen of us are expecting darling little girls, and at least sixteen of us are waiting to be surprised!

The average due date is June 13th, and the most popular due date is June 24th. We don't have anyone expecting on the 15th, 23rd, 27th, or 30th as far as I can tell.

And if you happen to have a baby on my birthday (June 16th), your baby will be born on Father's Day this year!

Kescilly I’d just invite the in-laws over a few times whilst your parents are staying. I’d hope they’d understand that they have th luxury of more regular visits in the long term. My mil was very much that she should be able to see dd the same amount as my parents, it was like she got dh to keep count so it was fair. She somehow managed to get dh to think this was perfectly reasonable behaviour . Bear I’m mind my family live a few doors down the road and they were a huge help emotionally to me whereas mil is th type that causes chaos in her wake and caused huge marital friction and upset and was a main cause of my pnd. I’m dreading it, absolutely dreading the il situ again and not sure how to play it better this time. I was thinking at least mil is working more this time somwomt have the time to cause as many issues but she told me last week she’s retiring and giving up her work . Even ex sil sent me a message last week saying ‘mil won’t do anything to harm your dc but she won’t think twice at damaging your relationship with dh to get what she wants’ argh!

@Reastie that sounds horrible, I’m sorry that you have to deal with that. I know this is easier said than done, but maybe you could focus your efforts on your husband vs your MIL? As in, talking about how this affects you and getting him more on your side. You could even try some therapy beforehand if you need a neutral party and environment to get through to him. It’s a lot of stress for you and it’s not fair that you have to fight a war on multiple fronts!

Thanks kescilly. Unfortunately I suspect dh has autistic tendencies and he can’t understand my POV. His reaction to it is ‘I know you hate my mum’ and refuses to discuss it . Mil has had years to know exactly how to manipulate dh as she wants so she’ll always come out best in his eyes. It’s very difficult. I don’t want to stop her from visiting but I just can’t cope with her all the time and her lying and manipulation and that every single time she saw dd when she was little she would overexcited her and we’d be left with a beyond tired screaming can’t get to sleep baby. Not one other person ever had the effect on dd that mil did with her over stimulation of her!. There’s not an weak answer to this and it’s going to be an issue.

I'm another with my family all living abroad and ILs nearby - my mum is coming at 36w for potentially 3 months, I am nervous but the benefits of having 24/7 help with twins between her and DP to get out of the house and generally survive, outweigh the potential risk of the atmosphere being tense and the flat feeling crowded.

ILs will be all over these babies but not sure what we will do re: visits - they may want to come to hospital but I will just play that by ear. No issues that I know of so far, theyve just all been lovely and supportive and doing what they can to help us sort things.

I'm looking at 8 weeks to go, yikes- as consultant will advise having babies out latest 38weeks... Still a few things to get..

Just about to go for my check up with midwife. 29 weeks and counting!

As I'm an elective section I've told my parents that they can come to the hospital that evening to visit but don't want anyone coming to the house for the first 2 days at least. If she could my mum would move in with us! That would drive me insane.

My in-laws live in Asia and are coming over for 2 and a half weeks from the week after to give us time together as a 3. This is everyone's first grandchild so all very excited. My in-laws are really nice and helpful and I think that as I have my husband and baby all year, and they only get them a few weeks twice a year so, if they want to be hands on and do lots then that's fine. Rest of the year I can be in charge.

I know my in laws will be a nightmare. They love bragging about the fact they both were at my sister in laws birth and FIL was just outside the door when she was delivering 😂 the thought of having them near me while labouring fills me with dread!

They want to be involved in everything.. I went pram shopping with my mum and they acted weird that I hadn't asked them along too, and next time they were in the area where the pram shop is (miles from where they live) they went in and got the shop assistant to go through the records to find the pram we bought so they could see it and have a shot! She's also been buying nappies, clothes etc since I was only 12 weeks which I hated because it was still so early..

I'm going to be really firm with them and say we will let them know when I'm ready for visitors. My own mum is going to be my birth partner with DP, but I'm really close to her so hopefully they will understand that.

29 weeks today, and I've had my glucose test this morning. Omg.

I felt SO sick after that sugary drink. I could barely keep it down and threw up just add they took the blood test so I'm not sure how accurate it is. Then had a migraine-like headache settle in. Apart from eating a banana and a slice of toast, I can't manage any food. I had to ring in sick for the day the first time in this pregnancy.

At least I got to nap today...

@swiftfox hope you're feeling better soon!

I had my first GD appointment today, saw a consultant, got bloods taken and saw the diabetic nurse and got my testing kit off him, have to speak to the dietician tomorrow as she was too busy to see me today.

The consultant said 70% of women with GD in my hospital end up on insulin, the others on tablets and minority are diet controlled. She told me there was a 90% chance I'd end up on insulin because she wouldn't put me on tablets seeing as I've still got vomiting and nausea and tablets will likely make it worse, happy enough with that to be honest!

They only gave me 4 needles with a letter for my doctor with what all I need however there's a chance the prescription won't be ready today, which means it'll be tomorrow after work and I won't have enough needles to test today and tomorrow (6 times a day) so off to a good start!

Completely forgot to ask the consultant what it meant for birth options but the diabetic nurse said I'd be switching to consultant led care. That seems to mean I won't get to go to the antenatal classes I'm on with the midwife team any more either as they're linked to my appointments and only for low risk mums.

@swiftfox sorry it made you feel so lousy!

@WeeBean thanks for sharing all that. I have my third GTT on Friday and I wish I had more information about what happens if I’m diagnosed with GD. It sounds like they got you in fairly quickly, which is great.

Frustrating that they left you without enough supplies though. I ran into that issue with a prescription. They kept verifying that they had the prescription but made it so difficult for me to order it. Hope yours is ready soon!

@Kescilly good luck for Friday! I'm sure you're sick of them!

I had my test on Monday and was given an appointment for 12:15 today so was all very quick! The diabetic nurse especially took ages to go through the testing bit with me. I was worried there's be judgement but everyone I saw was lovely. Had to get weighed right at the start too.

Had a phonecall from the maternity unit there to ask if I knew I had an appointment at 2:15 today, I didn't! The diabetic consultant made it for me yesterday but no one thought to tell me, the woman on the phone said the letter was probably still in the post (why would you post a letter for a next day appointment?!) Bit frustrated at that because I could've asked more questions there than I felt I could at the endocrine dept where my GD appt was. Ah well, I'll see them in 2 weeks.

Weebean how ridiculous to give you a next day apt and not tell you! Fwiw I had gd last time and I remained under mw care. Also interesting so many aren’t diet controlled. Last time I didn’t need medication but then I didn’t actually change my diet at all and most of my readings were fine, they just began to go a bit off towards the very end and by then it was so close to the end I think they thought they’d just leave it.

I was told 6 weeks ago I’d need to do daily blood testing but have had no apt through and wondering when they’ll decide I need to do it from. Last time the readings were all pretty much normal until the last month when they started going scatty.

Really bad day today, have been bedbound most of the day with nausea. Who said this would end at the end of the first trimester? They were lying!

@WeeBean and anyone else who gets gd, if you haven't found it yet, the website gestational diabetes.co.uk and the Facebook group 'gestational diabetes UK mums' are an absolute godsend.

@Reastie I was really surprised that the figures for those on insulin were so high but that's just for the hospital I'm at so maybe not the norm. Was really hoping to be able to control it by diet so I'll try really hard and hope for the best, won't be the end of the world if I end up on insulin.

Thanks @Changingagain, joined the FB group and found it really useful so far!

I've just had a really weird experience, it felt like baby was doing a complete turn/spin! I've never had that before but it was really blunt moves in three out of four 'corners' if you like then getting booted in totally different places to where it had been just before. So cool!

We don't need to worry, per se, about visitation issues. My parents have both passed away and lived 200 miles away anyway when they were alive! My sister will want to visit but as she was at the birth of my son and will be bringing him in to see me (ELCS booked so am prepping to stay in for a few days) that's no problem. In-laws will want to see the baby ASAP which is fine and will probably just be FiL, MiL and SiL. They'll probably come over a few days post birth once we're home and then that will be it. MiL and FiL dote on SiL's family so spend all their time there. The amount they see DS on their own could probably, very generously be counted on two hands, if that so I don't expect things to be much different for this one. Apparently we're too far away to visit regularly (30 mins). Sigh.

@Fabuluce 30 mins is too far?! That's a shame, but at least they're not imposing on you all the time I suppose!

My partner's parents live about 3-4 hours away, so they probably won't be able to rush down too quickly. I haven't decided whether I feel comfortable with hospital visitors yet, I think I'd rather everyone just visit us at home, but I guess it depends how long we're kept in for.

Yes apparently 20 mins to see their other grandchildren is absolutely fine but 30 mins is pushing the boat out. 🙄🙄🙄. It makes me feel sad for my little man but ultimately they are suffering the biggest loss IMHO as they just aren't taking the time to get to know him properly which I think is really sad.

@Heyha it feels weird right?! I get that a lot. I definitely get more stretching than kicks or rolls these days. I had my 31 week appt today and asked the midwife when we can have the contraception post baby chat. She laughed as she realised how fed up I am already!

Anyone else feel like they can't breathe anymore?! Baby is literally squishing my lungs now

@Heyha I get that a lot too! He did a full on flip the other day, it was SO weird.

@rollerskaterdata Stairs are now my mortal enemy. I get SO out of breath just going up one flight .

I think @toomanyflatwhites might be right about hospital visits and London. My PILs live in London like us, and I didn't even consider having them come to the hospital. Neither did they. My parents live abroad so they'll come in a few weeks. Other family can visit once we get back from the hospital. I don't want anyone in the wards when I'm leaking fluids and trying to get to grips with a tiny person!

On another note, people have been asking me about a baby shower. I thought that was just an American thing. I can't really imagine having one. What thoughts do people have on this?

Oh, and @rollerskaterdata and @allfurcoatnoknickers I've been totally breathless the whole pregnancy! We live in a narrow Victorian house with three small floors and I can't get up two flights of stairs without taking a breather half way

@swiftfox I’m a huge fan of showers but that’s in an American context. From what I’ve seen, they don’t translate over here as well. Which is a shame because they are a lovely tradition in America and my mom still remembers hers.

That being said, my neighbors did a small shower for me here and it really meant a lot to me. It was so different and much smaller than what I would have had in the States, but just as meaningful. It made me feel less alone, which is something I’ve been struggling with since getting pregnant.

I've had my risk assessment updated at work today and couldn't resist asking if they could do anything to help with the fact my arse (coccyx really) hurts all the time 😂

No fancy moves yet today but looking forward to getting measured at 28 week appointment tomorrow so I can hopefully tell people that think I'm small that we are actually bang on average as we have been at both scans... that's the hope anyway!

@swiftfox my friend, who just gave birth a couple of weeks ago, had a shower and it was lovely. My friends have been encouraging me to as well. I can’t see myself doing it, but that’s mainly because I can’t stand being the subject of attention- I’m the same about birthdays as well. But I think loads of Brit’s do showers these days and it’s a really nice tradition, so if you are up for it you should totally go for it. Plus everyone will buy the baby lovely gifts :).

I’m still obsessing about the position of this baby. Last night I was lying on my back for a sec and felt this hard round ball right in the middle of my stomach! It was soo weird. Is that likely to be the bum or the head? and if it were the bum does that mean she could be face down?? I pushed it and after a while it disappeared...

Eurghhhhh. I need to eat dinner, but I can't think of a single thing I want to eat. Food aversions are the worst