June 2019 Thread 4 - sliding towards 2nd trimester

[SassehMonsta]

Morning June bfp-ers, here is thread 4!

@toomanyflatwhites wow, do you mean 26th January as in next month?!! That's so exciting!

Hahaha yes @fee1234 - when you say it like that it sounds even more terrifying!!!
I had always wanted to get married but had accepted that DP didn't want to so was ok with that. But then after having DD thought we should for legal protection etc but had issues with where (as DP is french and only wanted to do it there). Somehow we got into discussing doing it short notice, liked the 2nd venue we saw (in my home town), they had availability...and now his family have all booked their flights so looks like it's really happening...fucking hell!!!
Will be small and low key but still stressing me out already now we have a date!

Toomany we had three months from engagement to wedding and managed the planning fine, it was good to get it all done and out the way and not have it become a huge bridezilla occasion. Main things other than venue are food/drink, flowers, rings, photographer (if you’re having one), dress and readings/songs for the service (along with service handouts if you’re doing that). Your venue will have people to recommend to save you trawling through websites. Most important thing is you and dh will be married and enjoy it, don’t sweat the rest.

@GreenDill the man is a dick. He needs to grow a pair. He's been with you for a year so he should already know what it's like having a child?? Pfft. However if he can turn it around and realise what a total childish knobber he's been and you decide to believe him then that's ok as it's amazing what the opportunity for a second chance do (I've seen that happen and the DP concerned was a total changed man). If he doesn't, or you decide you don't want to keep him then that is also ok. Ultimately, although none of this may be what you want (and why would you, it's a completely horrible situation to be in) you have already been a single mum and you made it through. You have learned a lot in the process and will have much more idea of who to go to for help. I would echo what the others say about the relationships board for advice and support too and of course we are all here for handholding. Do what you and your DD have to do to survive and ultimately thrive. X

@MauisLeftNipple I hear you. That has been my weekend. I have a mostly sodding bloody vegan diet as well. You'd think my poo would have the decency to be perfect! And we had home made curry too 🙄

@toomanyflatwhites woohoo wedding next month - squee! How's your tum feeling? Tiffany Rose has some lovely maternity bridal wear if you haven't got a frock yet.

I used bio oil last time and didn't get a single stretch mark but who knows if it worked or if I was lucky? I'll obviously do the same thing this time to be on the safe side!

@toomanyflatwhites how exciting! What a great time in your life, I’m so happy for you.

Congratulations @toomanyflatwhites !! So exciting!!

When are you all thinking of starting your anti stretch mark hacks? ASAP or once you're starting to show? I'm only 10+4 with my first so think I'm just bloated at the moment 😂

Also - may I ask a probably very silly question? I have my booking in appointment in a week or so and everything I've read says 'you'll no doubt have loads of questions' but at this point I think I have so little clue about what I don't know, I don't even know what I don't know (if that makes any sense?) I was wondering if you lovely ladies may be able to guide me in the direction of what I should be asking at my first booking in appointment? What sort of things do they cover in a booking in appointment and what sort of things should I be asking?

I’m not doing anything for stretch marks, honestly. I have them from gaining weight over the years and if that’s part of my body, that’s part of my body.

I also didn’t have a ton of questions at my appointment. The midwife was the one asking me all the questions! She couldn’t really help me with questions about my medication, so there wasn’t much else. I asked some clarifying questions about future appointments but that was about it.

@JBCG
Booking in appointments are just usually family history, past pregnancy's, height, weight, how u feeling, medical history..
If u have any questions write them down and take it with u as u will deffo forget when they say do u have any questions for me 😂
I always do..

My mouth constantly feels horrible! I brush my teeth, I eat mints, I really struggle to drink enough but I try but feels horrible and dry and metallicy anyone else?
Got any miracle cures?
I'm 12 weeks tomorrow..

Sorry in advance for the rant but having an awful day. Nausea is terrible today, but we've got a sales training on at work where I have to take part even though I'm a designer and would never have to sell anything. Sitting in this training with 10 others, I'm the only woman and no one in the room apart from my boss knows I'm pregnant. Had to run out a couple of times to be sick on the toilet, and the guy leading the training is just picking on me and constantly asks me questions and makes me present in front of the group (probably because he thinks I'm bored of it and keep on leaving the room). This day isn't even half over and there's another whole day of this waiting for me tomorrow 😫

Hey all. Been away for a while as I needed time to process this situation that arisen.

Haven't shared this with any of my family and friends and I don't really know how to deal with it myself.

Since July I was getting a tingling sensation in my arm which slowly progressed to spasm attacks randomly during the day where my whole left arm would go limp and numb. Finally after going back and forth from GP to physio I got an appointment with a neurologist as I thought it might just be a trapped nerve.

Something I was taking so lightly turned out to be a possibility that it might be multiple sclerosis. The neurologist said this is a possibility and will need to do an MRI. I'm so devastated because I'm only 24 and having my first baby and I've read up on crippling MS can be.

I have never been dependent on anyone and the thought of not even being able to go to the toilet myself is worrying me. They've scheduled an MRI for after babys birth but I'm getting really restless worrying about it. Poor DH has been extremely upset too.

I can't tell family and I don't really want to because I know how upset it will make them 😔

Sorry for the long post I just don't know who else to share this with.

Trying so hard to be brave for DH because he's visably so upset by this and I try make jokes and lighten up the mood but inside I'm terrified like hell!

Hello, haven't managed to read back yet. Had a good day on Saturday and left my meds until lunchtime as I was well rested. Friday I was obviously feeling better as I made mince pies and saltdough with DD. Sunday I had overdone it, and had to drive to central London and back, and that wasn't such a good day but no vomiting or dry heaving beyond first thing/last thing.

Today, I am shattered. I am also starving, but back to almost normal me - I even did the dishwasher last night and this morning and put a washing load on! This morning DD and I also made pirate swords, shield, cutlass, telescope and map before 7:30am - DH was in London last night so plenty of driving DD to my mums this morning and taking my brother to work for her.

My colleague has made mince pies that I can eat (no dairy, yum) so I am devouring them at speed. I am going to be HUGE.

@Greendill - I'm so shocked by your DP. sending strength to figure out next steps.

@sk17 - oh no I'm sorry to hear it, must be terrifying and how awful to have to wait until baby is here to find out more.

@toomanyflatwhites - congratulations for the wedding date, how exciting! and that's really soon!

@annihall - ugh sounds awful to be in meetings and sick. If it's not directly relevant to your job, could you escape from doing it again tomorrow?

Intermittent nausea is fun, yest was ok, 3 days before that the worst I've had since I started feeling ill. Went to doctors today to get laxido for the constipation and to ask about trying meds to help the nausea- he's given me promethazine as a first option (i was expecting cyclizine based on other threads on MN). And signed me off again. Grateful for helpful GPs!

Sk17 how worrying, that must be so tough. If it helps I have a friend with ms who is in her late 40s and she lives a really full and normal life, you’d never know to see her, so even if you have it (and it’s a big if) it doesn’t mean automatically you’ll need a carer etc. She has a walking stick and walks slowly in very hot weather but other than that it doesn’t stop her doing anything.

Sass that’s so brilliant to hear, especially as I write this lying on the sofa feeling sick and unable to do anything.

Anni urgh, poor you, I hope you’re u get through the meetings ok.

Big one I remember disgusting taste in my mouth last time with dd. I likened it at the time to feeling like I had a rubbish dump in my mouth. I found from trial and error some foods made it worse but there was nothing that would stop it other than constant mints. It was awful.

Tamara I think you need to post on a special media requests section of mn

Istef I was given that initially by my gp with dd, that and cyclizine are usually first prescriptions given. From memory I think it made me really sleepy.

@sk17 how absolutely terrifying for you, there's enough the think about when you're pregnant for the first time and it's so lovely of you to be more concerned (by the sounds of it) with how everyone else might handle a potential diagnosis. But can they not do an MRI sooner? I was part of a study in my first pregnancy looking at foetal brain development so had an MRI and was told it's perfectly safe, though I'm no expert so perhaps it depends what part of the body is being scanned? Though of course it was my DD who was scanned so it's not like they avoided her.

So sorry to hear that @sk17 - a friend of mine has recently been diagnosed with MS (he's 26) and is generally coping quite well after the initial shock and upset. I believe the NHS have several really great treatment options if you do have it which significantly halt the progression. Keeping fingers crossed for you and here for hand holds if needed!

Can I ask when people generally sought help for nausea? I'm struggling to know whether this is normal or whether I have it quite severely (as this is my first). In the last two weeks or so I have struggled to keep any food down and am sick at least 3/4 times a day. I don't know whether I should go to my gp or just soldier through? It started as just in the evenings, but has now progressed to all day. I have yet to find any food that seems to sit okay and I'm struggling with working full time as I'm often late to work in the mornings having spent quite some time with my head down a toilet (sorry tmi). Any advice would be greatly appreciated. DP is a bit of a worrier and is trying to get me to go to the doctor but I don't know if it's just him being a tad dramatic or if I actually should haha!

@fee1234 the emergency engineer thought it was ok but gas is off until we can get someone to check the boiler and I’m in the office today. Hopefully can sort it later or tomorrow! @Reastie yes I had that test and I was thinking I might ring a midwife to see if I could go in to have another breath test! We have been away all weekend though so hopefully it’s ok!

and everyone else thanks for the lovely wishes - am a bit in denial that we are really going to do it! I wanted a big wedding from childhood but as I got older just accepted it wouldn't ever happen and now I cringe at the idea of it (and couldn't ever picture DP and I having a wedding - being married, yes, but the day itself - nope).
We are going low key/non church (he is atheist, I'd have a bloody gospel choir if I could haha!!) so no songs etc to sort out, catering is through the venue, so just need to make menu choices. Probably won't have a professional photographer, maybe a bouquet but no other flowers, no evening reception, no cars needed. So what's left? DP's family have all booked their flights for France, I've found air b&b options for them for the weekend. Will need dress for me, outfit for DD, suit for DP, hotel for us 3 for 2 nights (no honeymoon!!), invitations will be verbal and followed up by email - will have a few friends each on top of immediate family. It's all doable right?!

Toomany sounds like you’ve got it all sorted already!

JBCG I’d say if you’re struggling to keep any food down you’d be totally reasonable to ask for medication. If you’re worried about medication would you consider being signed off? I only say this as rest is one of the best non drug things you can do to help the nauseanand vomiting (I did ALOT of research in this last pg as it was dire). From my research most people seem to find the worst week is generally between 8-10 weeks. Not sure where you are but the joy is it can differ a lot anyway. There are a couple of medications they usually start with which really are regarded as very safe in pg and have been used for years (even though nothing is licensed). Some gps will be at prescribing anything but they shouldn’t and it goes against the guidelines. When I spoke to the charity pregnancy sickness support they told me it’s if it impacts greatly on your quality of life and sounds like this is.

Sounds perfect to me.. me and DP have been together for over 10 years 3rd baby on the way and still nothing..
to top it off I'm bridesmaid to his sister in May 😭 and il be 35weeks ish pregnant!

Toomany and sk I think MRI is generally thought of as ok in pg, but as with everything in pg they often prefer not to. I was due to have an MRI in my 2 ww and told the hospital I could be pg but wouldn’t show up on a test as too early and they told me that to have the mri I either had to tick a box saying I wasn’t pg (which I didn’t know for sure) or do it at my own risk so I said I’d wait until I knew if I was pg or not and reschedule, and I was so I haven’t! I think a lot of it is to be on the safe side and perhaps for insurance type reasons as I read a lot of mn posts about people having MRIs in pg and it being fine and they were told no risks.