June 2019 Thread 4 - sliding towards 2nd trimester

[SassehMonsta]

Morning June bfp-ers, here is thread 4!

Omg stupid phone. *stretching skin!

@GreenDill I'm so sorry, what an absolute asshole! You're definitely better off without him - it may not feel like it now but it will in time xx

@tiredmama25 I've been using bio oil daily for the last couple of weeks (now 14+2) on my stomach, boobs and thighs. No idea if it helps but feels worth a try!

@madeincornwallx3
We have recently bought a Citroen c4 Picasso (not the grand) as has 3 full seats in the back. Nice big boot too. Also one of the cheaper ones I found when trying to get 3 car seats in the back.

@Greenhill so sorry to hear what you're going through, it's a stressful enough time without a bellend to boot. However, you have discovered he's a bellend early on and that's got to be better than discovering he's a bellend in the early days of newbornness. You will utterly boss single parenthood of 2!

Told the in-laws today. The kids were just like, oh right, where's the biscuits? The adults were slightly more enthusiastic. We had tried to train the toddler to say there's a baby in there but he was more interested in his cousins and their biscuits....

@GreenDill I'm so sorry you're going through this! The relationships board is also brilliant for support and advice if you need any more, feel free to rant/cry here too - we're with you every step of the way.

Perhaps he's just having a panic at the impending reality of becoming a father, but how utterly unsupportive and awful to just leave you and your daughter. You can and will get through this

@GreenDill what a dick! I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope you find a resolution xxx

@hellotoyellow My friend had a baby in the summer and drives a Mazda 2 - I should think that's slightly bigger than the Polo and she said she really struggled to find a pram which fitted that boot. I think you will definitely struggle with a Polo - I've just sold off my Toyota Aygo for the same reason - we are looking at getting a ford focus (this is our first baby). I think your best bet is to go to a car supermarket and just have a look at everything and open up the boots and have a think. Know what you mean though about central London and wanting a smaller car. Do you actually need to drive it when you're in London (as in, for work)? Or just out of London to see family and friends?

Oh @GreenDill what an utter grade A shit. As others have said possibly better to discover this now rather than when you already have the baby but still it must feel absolutely terrifying. And if he "comes around"....well we are here whatever happens, no judgement.

I finally have my booking in appointment tomorrow and nhs scan on Wednesday at long last! By the dating from private scan last week I will be 12+6 by then so will be interesting to see if dates change again as the private scan brought me forward! I definitely started feeling better at (what may or may not have been!) 12 weeks last week though!

Agh our carbon monoxide alarm went off about an hour ago and I’m feeling very stressed about it. Sat in the cafe opposite now waiting for gas engineer. All the advice says call an ambulance if you feel headaches etc and I feel okish but quite stressed and slightly headachey but I’ve had a lot of headaches with this pregnancy. I’m also a panicker so it could be my body’s reaction to the stress. At least we’re out of the house for now but hope we haven’t had any ill effects! Take this as a reminder if you haven’t done it recently, get your boiler serviced!

Hi all, I don't know if it's helpful, but I subscribe to Which (because I'm 30 going on 65).

I have tried to take photos of the reviews of cars people have mentioned- if there's any I've missed please let me know and I will find it and share it with you.

I think there's one more....

@LauralovesLuke
The discovery 4 we like.,
The discovery sport is quite small inside and doesn't have 3 individual seats

@tiredmama, last time I totally bought into the ‘There’s nothing you can do about stretch marks ‘ idea as I already had them on my boobs and hips from puberty but Dh went out and bought some almond oil and applied it to my belly religiously everyday saying I’d be cross if I didn’t and ended up covered and that I had nothing to lose etc.
Well I’ll be dammed if I didn’t get a single stretch mark on my belly despite being the size of a house. He was right!

If only I knew I’d get them all over the backs of my thighs....🙄

Nothing ventured nothing gained eh?

@greendill, sorry you are going through this. No advice but a shoulder to lean on. Give yourself some time to gather your thoughts and think about what YOU want and what is best for you and your dd. He might step up, he might not, you might get back together but try and think about the worst case scenario and could you deal with it.

Sending you strength and courage and another one who suggests the relationships boards for a friendly ear. I’d not recommend AIBU to be honest as I found people there not particularly supportive xx

@stellarfox that's scary just as well the alarm went off! My boiler is due a service so will get it booked in. Hope it's nothing too serious

@GreenDill that’s horrible, I’m so sorry that he’s putting you through this. I wish I could offer you more than words, but I just wanted to add my support. We’re here whenever you want to talk, no extra opinions. Just support in whatever you decide to do. Sending you strength though you seem to have plenty!

GreenDill I know a couple of people who split with their useless partner during pregnancy, and they are blimmin kickarse mums! You don't need that prick, you CAN do this!

Well I've just had a dress rehearsal for labour. In fact, I reckon my last child was easier to birth than this poo. Worst poo of my life Note to self: don't skip the lactulose.

@MauisLeftNipple, you know it's bad when you've been on the lookout so long that your 3 year old shouts up the stairs "mummy, you ok up there?" 😂

I really need some laxatives but struggle to swallow the liquid ones and all of the tablet ones I've seen aren't suitable in pregnancy.

Thank you all again for your support! Just sort of flickering between uncontrollable rage and upset atm, but I know it will pass. At the end of the day he has no right to treat me this way, and I know if he’s already acting like this then we’re better off without him right now. Right now what’s best for me is just no contact until I can think straight! Just hard I guess!

Seconding the toilet issues. Who knew piles bleed so much .

@pigriver thanks for the almond oil tip! Adding them to the shopping list. I managed to get to 38 weeks last time with no stretch marks and was very smug about it until I woke up at 38+1 and they were covering my entire waist!

@greendill I'm so sorry you're going through this. He doesn't sound like he's worth your effort - what a horrible thing to do.
Like @Mauisleftnipple I know a few unintentional single mums and they do a fab job and sure you will too. Keep venting!

@lauralovesluke thanks, that's really helpful. DH will need it to commute in September for a year so it would be good to have something smallish, and also, parking! But good to know about a Polo, maybe I could drive a Focus... really good tip about the car supermarket, so difficult to know what we will need. Good luck to all of you looking for something much bigger!

@pigriver good tip re the stretch marks, I got them badly as a teenager on my thighs and am eager not to repeat that!

Terrible night. Had to go to bed early as felt so sick, woke In the night still feeling so sick and took ages to get back off then woke at 4 as I dreamt I got my NT results back and had super high blood results. I think you can tell I’m a bit anxious about my scan tomorrow. 12 weeks today!

Morning everyone. 14 weeks today and I think I'm starting to feel more like my old self, don't feel as sick and my spots are finally clearing up. Hoping the second trimester is kinder to us all than the first.

Sorry about your bad night @Napssavelives - have you had any scans already or is this your first? I've got my nhs one on Wednesday with blood test but had my first last week and was bricking it for days before hand. Still waiting in harmony test result but trying not to worry as all "looked good" though I'm sure that means nothing!
Had a bit of a crappy night too, DD's sleep had miraculously improved over the past ew days (still crap, but not a patch on the hideousness of my entire pregnancy so far!) but last night she ran into our room at about 12.30 (usually she cries and I go in to her room) and then refused to go back to bed. I was woken by repeated kicks to the head at 2am and she wouldn't go back to bed then either, so the abuse continued 🙄
I just suddenly have really sore boobs and sensitive nipples having not had any issues with them at all up until now, weird! DD seems to like to hit them too which is no fun at all...

No second. Had one at 8 and a half weeks. Had no bleeding, no reason to worry still feeling rough but still worried that something will be wrong (good old anxiety!)

Sorry to hear you had a crap night too, pregnancy is less fun when you have other kids to look after. I didn’t know how lucky I was first time round

Morning @fee1234 - and hurray for that! I definitely felt a shift last week (at 12 weeks) in how I felt though lucky for me my main issue has been exhaustion and general yucky feeling.
@Napssavelives I think sometimes even the day after a scan the worry can kick in so it's totally normal! It's interesting how the diversion of another child changes your focus though, having not told work/many people about this pregnancy yet I feel like in some ways it's gone quickly so far (because it feels like I imagined it all!!)
I fear that I have given myself insomnia for the next few months anyway as DP and I are deciding to do everything at once...new baby, promotions for us both at work currently being negotiated, possibly thinking of buying a house AND we booked a wedding date - 26th January!!! Are we completely mad??!!

Toomany congratulations! I think jan is great as you won’t have months to get stressed by everything and it’ll all just get done and planned without overthinking.

Stellar did you have to breathe into a carbon monoxide machine at booking in? I did and it came up at 0 for me (phew). Hope the boiler got sorted and the alarm was a random thing but must’ve been v stressful.

It’s good to hear some of you are feeling better now, gives me hope.