June 2019 Thread 4 - sliding towards 2nd trimester

[SassehMonsta]

Morning June bfp-ers, here is thread 4!

So it's the visit to the in-laws today... not going too see them again before Christmas so planning on spilling today. The next time well all be together in my brother in laws wedding on the 28th and for obvious reasons, I don't want to spring it on them then! My scan isn't till the 14th, I'm 10+4 today so still feel it's a bit early but there really is no other time!

Hour and a half drive there and back with a grumpy toddler while still feeling rubbish myself. Might make my husband do the driving (even though he hates to drive...)

Sock hope the trip goes well.

R4ch4l I got some from amazon and they are so lovely and comfy! Not sure which ones but we’re about £10 and came up as one of the early results with good reviews. My tights were pressing on my tummy and it was uncomfortable.

Another day ticked off and I’m edging closer to 11 weeks which is that much further to second trimester.

Morning! Hope those of you still feeling rubbish get better soon.

Would you dye your hair during pregnancy? The few websites I’ve read say the risk is low but it’s still chemicals which might be absorbed so I’m a bit hesitant. I’m 13+5 now so into second tri now or on tues according to different websites.

Those on number 3.. has anyone looked at the Peugeot 5008? So hard to find a nice looking car with 3 seats x

@stellarfox I ended up telling my hairdresser at 5 weeks as I had an appointment to have my hair highlighted (normal for me) and found out I but close to the appointment to cancel so just told her and changed to haircut only. She understood after my mc earlier this year that I wanted to wait and she said should be fine (for highlights as doesn't touch scalp) but most people happier to wait until the 4th month so I guess from about 16 weeks. I have definitely gone a bit ombre in the meantime so probably a giveaway to anyone eagle eyed enough who knows me but I keep it fairly natural so not a massive difference like dark brown to blonde just darker blonde to lighter.
I would say speak to the hairdresser and do what you feel comfortable with (I think the colour can take differently in pregnancy so you would want them to know anyway and they may want to do a test patch first)

@stellarfox I did the same as @blondcat and haven't had highlights since the summer luckily mine are subtle.

For those talking about cars - we don't have one but will need one. Live in quite central London and we were thinking of getting a Polo, will that fit a pram in the back or should we get something a little bigger?

Thanks reastie and toaster, I’ll try find some tights online then.

I had my hair dyed this week (just under 12 weeks) as my greys were ridiculous! NHS website says it isn’t absorbed into your blood so not likely to be any risk. I have read that the colour can take differently though so good idea to tell your hairdresser so they can do a patch test. In my case, my hairdresser is DH aunt so couldn’t say anything!

It’s 1030 and I’ve just eaten lunch. Nice to have a break from the Sickness but unless I eat every few hours it creeps back in! 4
Meals is looking likely today!

Not looked at the Peugeot @Sosie91 but will, thank you.

I was three seats along the second row and not one in the boot I think, esp for longer journeys.

It's so hard! You'd think with the amount of families of 5+ there would be more options on the market.

Also need to get my hair done! Wanted to pre-Xmas but given the cost think will wait til Jan. I'll be at least 17 weeks by then. I have a kind of 'dropped root'/ ballyage colour anyway as it's easier to maintain!

We r looking at the discovery.. so much room..

My roots are terrible but I can’t cope with the smell of the dye to go to the hairdresser. I did read if you were concerned you coukd get highlights as that doesn’t touch the scalp in the same way as dye. My hair is coloured the same as my actual hair colour so my roots don’t look too obvious I just look greyer.

Naps I wouldn’t worry about 4 meals a day, I’m literally having to constantly force food in to try to help the nausea.

I’m thinking about cars as we have a small car and when dd was little and we took her buggy on holiday with us it took up most of the boot and I remember the whole car was packed out with no spare space. Can’t see how it’ll fit with 2 car seats now but we’re not looking at big cars, just a ‘normal’ family sized car.

Struggling to drink as it makes me feel really sick so I’m worried I’m not getting enough liquids. Have made some ice cubes in the hope I can suck on those.

Can’t afford the discovery!

Hey ladies, I dropped off during the last thread as I felt like I tempting fate discussing the pregnancy (silly I know). 11+3 today and I’ve come back for a rant/cry. I mentioned previously I already have 1 DD who’s 5. DP isn’t her dad, but we’ve had several loses over the years since we met.

Anyway fast forward to last week and DP went away with his friends for the weekend, which resulted in his friends posting videos on social media of women in the apartment with them not wearing very much. This obviously upset me and we’ve been having almighty rows since. We went for a scan at 11w and could see a healthy baby kicking and waving about. He’s since turned around and said he isn’t ready to be a father and doesn’t want me to continue with the pregnancy and has pretty much said that if I do “I’m already a single mum to 1, I can be a single mum to 2” . He’s also implied because of all the other miscarriages he just assumed we wouldn’t make it this far into the pregnancy and wouldn’t of had to have this conversation. He’s told me I’m ruining his life and I haven’t heard from him in 2 days - honestly going out of my mind! The idea of doing it all on my own with 2 is quite frankly scaring the shit out of me. Sorry for the rant but I don’t even feel ready to tell my family as I know they’ll all be so angry and disappointed in him too, and I’m not ready to listen to them but needed to speak to someone . Arghhhhhh.

Oh u poor thing! U do not need him..
U wanted this baby don't let him change ur mind

@GreenDill I am so so sorry! That sounds like an awful, devastating and stressful situation. I'm afraid I can't offer many words of wisdom but we're all here for whenever you need a hand hold. You sound incredibly strong anyway so I'm sure whatever the outcome you and your DCs will be just fine xx

Oh @Greendill I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. I'm sure you're all over the place at the moment but take some time, you will be able to do this. I'm sure it's not just about the baby but also the one person you're supposed to be able to trust and I'm sure you love has massively let you down. To lead you on like this is terrible and I know I don't know you but you and your DC deserve so much better. Hope you have a friend you can confide in x

Good grief greendill my jaw actually dropped when I read your post. It must feel so confusing but it’s his issue not yours, and in a way it’s better he is honest now than later on so you have time to sort yourself out. He is behaving terribly and doesn’t deserve you. It must be such a shock and so mentally tough atm, we’re all here to chat any time. X

@GreenDill sorry to hear you are going through this 😞 you were right to be upset about the videos etc I'm sure every one of us would have felt the same! Sounds like he's being very unreasonable, do you have any friends and family nearby who are able to offer support? Hugs x

I’m absolutely gobsmacked @greendill

Thanks for all your support

My family and friends will be there when I tell them what’s happened, but right now I’m trying to process everything without them adding their opinions. I know they’ll all have a lot to say and I’m not ready to hear them going on about it. I made the mistake of telling one friend and her response was “he’ll be back unless he finds someone else in the meantime” which just hurt more tbh.

I feel heartbroken. I did it all on my own with DD as her dad was useless (loads better now I must add), and I’d told DP from the beginning that my biggest fear is doing it alone and he’s basically preying on that. I had PND for almost the first 2 years of DD’s life and I’m just freaking out tbh. DD is so confused as to where DP is as he’s lived here for over a year and he’s not been here for a week now and I don’t have any answers.

I feel so fucking stupid and let down

@GreenDill Oh no how awful! I think it’s a good idea to have a long think by yourself or with someone who’s opinion you trust to decide what to do before telling anyone else. Could your ex take your DD for a couple of days so you can have time to think? To be honest your DP sounds really unreliable and whatever happens you should break it off with him. If you want feedback from people on mumsnet I would recommend posting on the “AIBU” board as you’ll get advice from a lot more people there. So sorry this has happened and also what an ass to have let you go through all the ttc and losses if he didn’t want children. Perhaps he thought he wanted it and is now having a freak out but even so you need someone realiable who is going to support you! It sounds like he’s just too immature but I think he’s really misled you to think you wanted the same things

P.s. don’t feel stupid, people can be very manipulative! Totally understandable feeling let down but you will get through this and be stronger for it x

@greendill what an absolute arse!! I can’t believe anyone could be so cruel! I second what others have said, he certainly sounds far too immature and unreliable to allow back into your life but I can imagine the thought of doing it all alone again may override those thoughts over time. I don’t know what I’d do in your shoes as I’m sure he will come back, they generally do! Take care of yourself and I’m sure with your strength, you can definitely do it alone even if that isn’t what you planned. Sending hugs xx

Is anyone using bio oil or any sort of stretch mark lotion? I'm 11 weeks tomorrow and wondering if I should start.

You can't do anything to prevent stretch marks I'm afraid - they occur at the dermal level, whereas lotions and potions only penetrate the epidermal layer of the skin. You may find your street hung skin does get a bit dry and itchy though, so definitely a good idea to keep it moisturised.