July 2019 very early days

[edinburghlass1991]

Hi I thought I’d start one
This will be dc3 and I have dd6 and ds2 Edd 6 July 2019. Wish I was 12 weeks already!

@Laburna we didn't find out with my son and I lived the surprise! But we agreed ages ago that with #2 we would find out if we could, partly so J can understand if he's having a brother or sister, and also so we can see how it feels both ways!

If you asked my husband, we've not told anyone. But secretly I've told 2 people at work, 2 friends (who I talk to all the time but don't see that often) and my best mate (who lives in London so I only see her twice a year). Telling my parents when they visit this weekend and I CAN'T RUDDY WAIT!!! With J we told them on the phone so I'm super excited to see them in person :)

@amanda2809 haha that made me laugh. My husband doesn't think we have told anyone either....!

pancakes22 we have told him already that mummy is making a baby but tbh I don't think he gets it haha. Oh and please don't worry about people being disappointed, they should be excited and happy for you and anyone whose not really isn't worth your time. It's a magical moment and no one can plan the best time to have kids around everyone else as it's hard enough getting one anyway!

Laburna I found out with DS as I was convinced we were having a boy and was already calling him his name so I really needed to know in case I was wrong. Was great to have it confirmed and felt like a was bonding in more depth. That said, I do get the whole surprise thing and that excitement once birth is over. We will be finding out this time too, probably gonna get a 16 week scan to confirm and shall have a lil party to tell family all at once.

@pancakes22 I totally get what you mean about telling people. I’m particularly worried about telling one friend as we’ve been each other’s support system for the past year as she started tried at the same time. I feel like I should tell her because she will probably figure it out on her own as we usually let each other know what’s going on in our cycle etc.

I’m also meant to be a bridesmaid in July for my SIL which I won’t be able to do now but I’m sure she will just be happy for us.

Also we’re having to last minute cancel a boozy weekend away this week. Hate cancelling!!

Does anyone have any advice on how I should tell my friend? I’m thinking definitely by text. But my worry is that I don’t want it to sound too sympathetic if you know what I mean!?

@babyl0ve I'd do it however you normally communicate. If you always talk in the phone, ring her. If you usually text, text. I'm sure she'll be happy for you

@babyl0ve can cancel the divorce proceedings (for now) - got fed last night (incuding cake) a lot of grovelling, and breakfast in bed before work.

@laburna im not going to find out sex of the baby. Someone once said to me that theres not a lot of suprises left in life and having a baby was one! And i quite liked that thought.

@ohmybaby the only person ive told so far is my gym instructor/personal trainer just incase he thought i was taking the piss or being lazy LOL i will need to tell my best friend next week though as we are supposed to go on a day out and she will figure it out if im not drinking. i am DYING to tell a few people though so i can just talk about it!! i would be going stir crazy without this thread!

@ohmybaby I'm good we are way past where I kept losing them. I still have moments where I think it's all done but then realise I'm still having nausea and my boobs hurt and poas 😳

@pancakes22 I'm less excited too. I don't know if that will change once we've had scans and stuff 🤔

@amanda2809 we found out for DS, I was terrified DHs family would suddenly start producing mustard and apple green knitwear 🤢 in the end it was the right decision for us, I think it calmed DH knowing he was getting a boy and also we had so many scans it would have slipped out at some point anyway!

I think we'll probably find out again, just so we know if we'll need to buy anything. I'm not one for stereotyping with the pink and blue stuff, but it annoyed me in the early days that everyone seemed to think DS was a girl possibly because he had hair! Also it meant we didn't have to think of a girls name which we could not agree on!

I've only told 1 person, who knew we were having all the issues and had gone for tests. Not sure if DH has told anyone, I'm not too fussed. His aunt announced DS was expected on Facebook before we'd told anyone really. Had a massive falling out with them about it, MIL didn't see what the problem was 😡 she'd been told so who cared whether other people had been - and it was her that told the aunt!

Morning lovelies... I'm feeling better today and am following our chant. Today I am pregnant.

I also chalked a different gyno and asked for a second opinion. I gave then all the info and they asked me for the results of a blood test that my gyno told me wasn't necessary .

I've decided that this evening after work I'm gonna go to a health center to do that test... When I have the results tomorrow morning I'll call new gyno again and give him the results. From that he can tell me if it's normal that we didn't hear a heartbeat yet or not then I'll be better informed about if I should wait till next Wednesday for my already booked scan to see if we have a heartbeat or if I should go to new gynos to been seen immediately...

Getting a second opinion has calmed me DP thinks I'm rushing things but I don't want something to go wrong because I just sat about waiting

@onestep2 I hate surprises 😂

Fingers crossed @itsallgreek! I would definitely get the test.

I think it's hard for DH to understand the investment we have at the moment and the effect all this has on us. Mine was almost ignoring the fact I was pregnant for the first week, 'lets take it a day at a time' and even now is kind of treat my 'symptoms' as an affliction rather than pregnancy. I know he's probably worried and doesn't want me to be upset, but doesn't get that I can't switch it off!

Thanks @Laburna and @babyl0ve managed to get a couple hours. Praying I don't get it also 🤦🏼‍♀️

@Onestep2 that's the only person I've told as well my PT for the exact same reason 😂 I was fit for nothing on Friday at the gym, BFP on Sunday so when had to tell him when I was back on Monday in case he thought I was taking the piss 🤦🏼‍♀️😂

@itsallgreek so glad you are feeling a bit calmer lovely.

babyl0ve I had been trying for 7 months when my close friend became pregnant. She didn't tell me, it came from another friend whilst we were all out for lunch. It was very difficult for me to handle that news as obviously I was thrilled but it just didn't give me the ability to grieve for my own journey, especially as I had just had a second CP too which everyone knew about.

The on the 11 month cycle another friend said she was gonna start trying again. She phoned me on my 12th cycle to let me know she was pregnant. I really appreciated the phone call, she called for a good old catch up anyway too and it just was so much easier for me to deal with the news afterwards then. Once she hung up I was able to cry on my own. As luck would have it, I was only a couple weeks away from seeing a BFP that's brought me here.

So my advice would be tell your friend as soon as you can, maybe give her a call to let her know. It's okay to show sympathy. I was a bit surprised I had none from the first friend and it was a comfort to know the 2nd friend was sympathetic actually. The 2nd friend remained my support system through that cycle.

Good luck itsallgreek really think it's a good idea you've done this as it's already calmed you down a bit

Onestep2 Delighted to hear that you got fed and looked after!

itsallgreek Really good you've found someone for a second opinion, as you say, making sure you've done everything you can is a big comfort.

Exactly right about being so so invested at this stage already, Laburna. I had to tell my LM and they were like 'well it's so early' and it took me a while to understand why they'd be so dismissive, but it's technically right.

I'm very keen to find out the gender, don't like surprises, just to excited to wait (first DC) and would like to get on with a name once all seems well.

In terms of who knows - my LM, my two work friends, my best friend, two mutual friends and two people who live abroad and have invited us over, which we're not keen on in case of complications later on. That's actually more than I realised!

Frazzle honestly I get cold, and then very hot, all the time. Please don't worry! 📎🔗

@TwittleBee thanks so much for sharing your experiences. I totally get what you mean - I had to turn the radio off when Meghan Markle’s pregnancy was announced 😂

Good to hear what you said on the sympathy front. I think I’m just the kind of person who hates people feeling sorry for me but it wouldn’t be right to ignore how she will be feeling.

The last thing I want is for her to find out through someone else so she will need to be the first person who knows. I will just have to hope she doesn’t tell anyone else as we don’t want to announce our pregnancy until we have our scan.

I think I’ll llet her know this weekend so she’s not at work and can take the time to process the news. I know she’ll be happy for me, just sad for herself.

@Laburna I agree re the DP's not being able to understand the investment we put into this. Even when we try not to, it is impossible not to have that bond from the start.
We both agreed not to get our hopes up this time and DP is a massive realist (I say pessimist...) so I can't mention the baby without DP telling me not to get excited and if I say 'when' baby is here he will correct me to 'if'. It's really difficult to stay positive in this kind of environment.

I can't even tell DP that my symptoms seem to have stopped as he won't be positive for me. He will think (and say) they worst.

thank you @StargazyDrifter

I'm not sure if we will find out the sex or not. We won't know their gender anyway so knowing the sex won'rt give us any idea of what they will be like as a person. But then ask me again at 20 weeks and perhaps I won't be so cool about it!

@frazzlerock I confessed to DH that I'd been looking into baby stuff and he was so dismissive :( he just doesn't seem to want to talk about it at all!

I am also getting the hot and cold thing, btw, thought it was just me! 😂

DS is so grumpy today :(

oh good, glad you and @StargazyDrifter are getting hot/cold!

I'll tell DP to wind his neck in. He said he was up feeling my skin for hours while I fell asleep. I know he is just worried. But it doesn't do my anxiety any favours.

@Snailorswift Im already finding it hard to motivate myself to gym and classes when i feel so tired. I went on tuesday night and supposed to be going to spin tonight..... but i cant see it far enough. Really struggling with sleeping at nights even thou im sooooo tired ALL THE TIME

@itsallgreek good luck with tests. If anything gives you that sense of calm that you need then its defo worth it!

@frazzlerock my DH is also "realisit" and is the same about not wanting to get excited and get hopes up. He is also a big worrier and made the mistake of googling everything that can go wrong in the first 12 weeks. also a big fan of the phrase "if things go to plan"

@laburna can you keep a secret? Ive been ordering a few wee things for a newborn and then making sure im home from work to hide them. Dont tell the DH hahaha I really know i shouldnt be, but those wee newborn babygrow are just WAYYYYY to cute.

Thanks Frazzle for pointing out the distinction between sex and gender. I had always thought of them as synonyms, but clearly there is a difference in terms of organs/identity.

Having a down day. 😔 hope you ladies are ok

Oh same @Onestep2 🤦🏼‍♀️ but mind over matter and all that!

@SnailorSwift i know your right! ive brought my gym stuff with me into work so i dont go home first. Coz if i go home and sit down... im not going back out!!

@Delilah7 is everything okay?