The March-ers 2019 #6

[Angelmiracle]

Welcome to no.6 mamas 😄 We love to chat 😁

Check in 👣🤰🏾🍼

Thread 5
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/3354202-The-March-ers-2019-5

@jenfur sorry to hear about the job situation-
That sounds stressful.

@assumeitwassomethingclever I’ve found high fibre snacks such as oatcakes/porridge or protein, such as houmous or nuts much better than crisps or biscuits now that I’m able to eat most things again. Are you drinking enough too?

@cardboard33 from H&M I recommend the Mama leggings - good quality, the hipster knickers in a three pack (my other knickers have started giving me a line across my Lower abdomen), and the super-stretch skinny black trousers - I’m wearing these to work lots. I met up with some friends at the weekend and have been given a bag of Séraphine clothes - they are amazing and such good fit/fabric. So much so I’ve just ordered a couple of dresses for work from eBay. I’ve gone up a size as my boobs seem to have doubled in size!

@cardboard33 that would be me Thankyou for thinking of us both. It’s been a hard few days but dd has kept us busy. I’m working from home today so trying to take my mind of it by staring at spreadsheets although I can’t really concentrate.

@cardboard33 I second @nightmanagerfan's recommendation for Seraphine. Kind of pricey new, but I've managed to buy loads of stuff off ebay for £7-30 a dress, and the quality is really nice. I love their knot front jersey dresses, they're smart enough for work and make me feel a bit more put together. I've got quite a lot of second hand Jojo Maman Bebe for very little, it's good for everyday.

I've also found that loads of my Cos stuff still fits me fine, and looks like it will for quite a while. God bless those voluminous trapezey things.

@wineandchoccy hope you're holding up OK. I've been thinking of you.

Has anyone been watching This Morning? Their discussion has been focussed around Still births which is brilliant for raising awareness and supporting people.

I think being pregnant it has been quite anxiety provoking for me. How do you filter things that you come across in the every day of life without looking too deeply into them?

@TheWanderlust I found it hard to watch too, I'm not sure about avoiding it or managing it but I'm trying to accept that I will get upset more easily than usual and thats ok.

@Bluebelltulip I think you're right. It's allowing yourself to feel upset and reminding myself it doesn't happen to everyone.

@HidCat I just realised that the show you suggested is only going to be shown in Wales, that's annoying. I hope it'll be on BBC iPlayer too.

@cardboard33 @Nightmanagerfan All the healthy stuff doesn't seem to fill me up. Before getting pregnant, I'd have an orange for breakfast, salad for lunch and then my dinner. Now I literally can't stop eating. I've tried constantly grazing on carrot stick and grapes but the only thing that'll stop me from feeling sicky/hungry is a bowl of really thick porridge but I can't eat that 3 times a day on top of my meals! I'd be the size of a house!! I'm also drinking about 4 litres of water a day.

Hi Ladies,

I've missed so much! I've been working away for a week. Thank god for 2nd Trimester. Feeling so much better. Finding it hard to delegate and not do everything myself at my job. I know I have to. I have my 16 weeks appointment on Wed even though I'll be 18 weeks. I'm very hungry all the time but been so active I don't think I've put much weight. My bump has suddenly grown! Almost entirely in maternity clothes now. Lots of uterus pain and I think(!) I've had a few flutters.

Feeling a bit guilty about stopping taking pregnacares, having half a cider, working a lot, not being able to sleep on my side, having warm baths and worrying they're too warm and all the rest of it but doing my best!

I'll try and catch up with all of you over the next few days.

Hi all.

I think I'm going to a dark place my anxiety is really out of control and I'm worried if I see anybody about it then they will take the baby off me or think I'm not fit.

I walked the dog last night for the first time in months (OH had been doing it). It was dusk and a bat was flying around above me. I then felt a drop of something land on my face. Like when it starts drizzling with rain but I didn't feel any other drops.

After getting home and googling I convinced myself that not only was it bat saliva but that it had gone into my eye and the bat had rabies. I found out that some bats in the UK carry rabies and spent the entire night in fits of tears and hysterics. My OH really doesn't know what to do.

I emailed the UK National Bat Helpline last night and they replied today saying risk is minimal. They haven't heard of bats dropping saliva while flying, that only 16 out of 15000 bats tested had the rabies virus and the breed that had it tend to live near lakes and rivers and not houses. So you think that would put my mind at ease? Nope. Had a doctors appointment an hour ago with a doctor who dismissed me quite quickly and asked me if I'm sure it wasn't a bird... we have a lot of bats near here so I think she thought I was just stupid.

The anxiety is really taking over now. My OH and everyone else I've spoken to says that I've nothing to worry about but my mind is on overdrive. I'm too scared to see someone about the anxiety but it's ruining everything for me i now feel like my eye is sore but that is probably from washing underneath it with anti bac soap last night and all the crying. But my anxiety head tells me it's the rabies.

I know I sound so silly. I just feel quite alone

@melissa121 sorry you're having such a hard time. Did you speak to your midwife team about your feelings of anxiety, as someone else suggested? I have a number of friends who also have difficulties similar to what you've been describing recently and they've been really helped through counselling as it gives them a space to talk out their thoughts in a non judgemental place. For what it's worth, I think the risk of rabies is very minimal, and I expect you rationally know this too, but I realise that this does nothing to prevent the worry forming.

In other news... Just spent my commute home looking at eBay. I barely buy clothes online so eBay is an unexplored concept. I've also seen that JoJo Maman Bebe have some good offers on atm so can hopefully pick up more work appropriate attire, but it's a case of getting round to it. Does anyone know if they do in store collection? I much prefer that to ordering it to my house as no one is ever in. Thanks!

@assumeitwassomethingclever you've quite literally described me atm with your description of eating porridge 3 times a day!! This baby is going to come out looking like a porridge covered banana. I figured it can't do too much harm and surely it's better than eating other things... Or am I wrong in that?? And I'll just end up a fat lump who is unable to fit into my newly acquired eBay purchases!!

@cardboard33 I didn't speak to the midwife as I felt a bit better but I need to speak with her anyway so I'm going to make an appointment for next week and tell her my concerns.

I do know the risk is minimal and that nothing probably landed in my eye as I do remember it falling above my cheek on my skin. Just trying to convince myself.

@melissa112 sorry you are having a tough time at the minute. Speaking to your midwife sounds like a good place to start. Take care of yourself x

@melissa112 I have been where you are now, and I got help, and nobody ever once suggested that I might be an unfit mother. I also have a friend who had postnatal psychosis. She also got help, and nobody took her baby away either. The key thing is to get help. It sounds to me like you know damn well that you haven't contracted rabies, and if this had happened to anyone else you would be telling them not to worry, but because it has happened to you and because you are in super protective mode over yourself and the little bundle you are growing, your brain won't stop picking away at an infinitesimally unlikely scenario just in case. I really, really know what that feels like and how fucking horrendously hard it is to let go of those scenarios. You need to focus on the fact that two professionals have told you that you do not need to worry. You also need to be aware of the fact that this is just the thing your brain happened to latch your anxiety on to. My brain latched mine on to all the possible ways I might have accidentally contaminated my expressed breast milk. (My god, I poured a lot of breast milk down the drain.) Another woman I know just could not bring herself to drive her car any more - she was so worried about accidents. There are risks all around us and in most things that we do. Your brain has just chosen this one to fixate on. I found once I understood how arbitrary the THING I was anxious about was, that the real problem was my feeling of anxiety, I was able to dismiss my specific worries more easily.

If you want to talk about it any more privately then do feel free to PM me. X

@melissa112 please go and see your GP there are maternal mental health teams now as part of local NHS trusts, they are brilliant at helping with mental health issues caused or exacerbated by pregnancy.
They will not take your baby away! I work in mental health and there is help out there, please don't suffer.

I know all about anxiety too. I was on antidepressants which I came off when I got my BFP. And I have been coping great. However this is only because I got signed off work- 2 months before my BFP for vertigo. And because I've been coping great without meds I have continued to be signed off. But it's coming up to 5 months now and I know I have to go back in the next 3/4 weeks on Phased Return. So this week the anxiety has started I feel like time is running out and I am terrified of work.

I know everyone dreads going back after a long period off. But firstly I have to tell my line manager I am pregnant as I am being sent to Occupational Health this week. But mostly my fear is my own lack of confidence and capability of doing my actual work. I took promotion last year and I still feel like the newbie and feel clueless even though I have not had one complaint about my work in the 9 months since promotion. I'm concerned if I get badly anxious being back at work I'll need antidepressants and be even more likely to develop PND.

@1986mumof5 i am shocked by your message, the agressive tone, etc. All anti vaccination claims have been debunked by science.

I am outraged by parents who choose not vaccinate their children --> putting all of ours at risk. Measles is back, and it is killing innocent children. Let's not forget that pre vaccination child mortality was extremely high.

I wish vaccination was compulsory at school and nursery.

@Angelmiracle I am really sorry to hear about your anxiety. I hope that OT will be able to suggest some non drug therapies to help and that you can get some help after birth. Have you been able to talk to your midwife ? Apparently they have some specialist services that can see you during and after pregnancy

@frenchgal thank you! Yes I spoke to my midwife and she wrote a letter to my GP so that they are working together should I need extra support. She noted I was feeling well at booking in which was true. It's going back to work that's bringing the anxiety on. I haven't mentioned a lot about it to my line manager. Do you think I can just bring up my work anxiety to Occupational Health?

I'm nervous about their assessment. I hope they don't think I've been lying about why I have been off as work don't know I'm pregnant yet but I will be telling them.

No this will be an 11 year gap, I had my first child at 16 (I know I know) it's a big shock because I've 'had my life back' for a fair few years (ish) total shock to my system to think of my life completely flipping in reverse. Trying not to think too much tho

@Angelmiracle a few years ago, I was suffering from anxiety and depression and was referred to Occupational Health. It was very helpful to then design a work arrangement that would support my recovery but also regain confidence at work. Pregnancy hormones really do increase anxiety- don't assume this means you will necessarily suffer from PND. I hope you can find some time for self care and calm, and don't worry about work too much. You were just promoted, means you are doing a great job.

@frenchgal thank you for that! I'm hoping after OH appointment I will be reassured somewhat. I'm my own toughest critic!

@hanny24 I will have a 6 year gap between DS and this one and it feels like going back to the start he's so easy worked with now. I'm sure your first is delighted to be getting a sibling I know I'm so happy for DS as well as ourselves!

I had my 20 week scan yesterday. All good. I already knew from the Panorama that he was a boy but it was definitely confirmed by the scan