May-ish 2019 - thread 2!

[rosettesforjill]

Thought I'd get this started 7+5 for me today

I’m feeling very worried today. For a couple of hours I’ve had a lot of cramping and period type pains, very uncomfortable to the point I’ve had to take painkillers (which I usually avoid). I had a little bit of this much earlier on in the pregnancy, but not recently and not this painful. Don’t know if it’s worth bothering the MW with?

@FrazzyAndFrumpled I’ve had loads of horrible cramps and pains in the last few days but I genuinely think/hope that mine is constipated and bowel related. Any chance it could be the same for you? Do speak to your midwife for reassurance though. There is nothing worse than worrying alone, especially when it might be over nothing of significance.

I'm getting very bad cramps too but they're almost certainly 'wind. I think our abdominal muscles are already stretching so the extra pressure causes a lot of pain BUT if in doubt, check it out!

Thanks. I don’t think mine’a bowel related, but I could be wrong, our bodies often deceive us! Definitely agree on the ‘stretching out’, not sure how I’m going to hide my tummy for much longer!

I’ve emailed the community MW as their phone lines are only open for one hour first thing in the morning... helpful!

Re stretching - I’m getting what I think are ‘round ligament pains’ mostly if I move too quick, and when I sneeze or cough. To start off with they were fading almost instantly but now they seem to linger for a while after. Anyone else noticed this? I can’t temember from my last baby if it happened like this or not

Round ligament pains are supposed to start around 18 weeks but I definitely have some now. I have a chest infection though so maybe the coughing is a factor. They can be quite severe, like you pulled a muscle but not lasting.

I am just getting over a chesty cough sonthat couldnhave some bearing on it.

The midwife said they start earlier each pregnancy, and this is my 5th pregnancy (4th child) but I don’t remember them lasting for as long as they do at the moment. I have a scan and mw appointment on Thursday (9+2) so I might mention it

I remember round ligament pain from my last pregnancy and think I’ve had some minor little twinges of the same already. But that’s a definite muscular type pain, and you can really feel it like a ‘hammock’ around bump (or at the moment, where bump will be!) Coughing will definitely make that worse unfortunately!

Havent visited the forum much recently. I'm getting random pains and crazy dreams but I'm finally 10+3 and my scan is less than 14 days away!!!!

In a terrible mood today. I don't know why but I really don't feel like telling anyone about the pregnancy. Booked the 12 week scan today for 7th November and whilst I'm excited for the scan I'm now dreading telling everyone once we've had it.

Hubby can't wait. I was excited to tell my family in the beginning but I feel as soon as we announce it people will start to make judgements or annoying comments (mainly dhs family). I think I'm also worried the families won't care about the pregnancy/baby as much as we're expecting them to as although it's our first child there are already multiple grandchildren on both sides. Also worried they will make comments about my job, and suggest taking a longer maternity leave or going back part time, which I'm not going to do. We're going to have to put the baby in nursery at least a day or 2 a week from 6 months as both sets of grandparents already have their hands full with the other grandkids (my dsis works full time and can't afford childcare, so fair enough, but both my dsil work 12 hours a week or less and still leave their kids with dhs parents multiple times a week, often overnight). I know they're going to say it's cruel to leave the baby in nursery so young but we don't really have an option.

Sorry for the rant. Not sure if my hormones, feel really upset and angry, mainly over imagined future scenarios that may never happen.

@DimbleBimble these kind of worries are really normal, please don’t let yourself become obsessed with the worries. If it makes you feel any better I put my DD into full time childcare at 7 days old! I was teacher training at the time and would loose my place and have to re apply/ start over and if worked too damn hard for that to happen. It was hard but actually made me a stronger and better mother because I made a decision and stood by it in the face of many nay sayers and haters. I became qualified and worked full time until DC2 was born.
2 in full time childcare is a joke (cost outweighed my wages)

You will be fine and whatever you choose - to work or not to work people will judge you! You just have to do what’s right for you and your DP.

For what it’s worth my DD is the most confident, social little girl in her nursery and I’ve never once had any issues leaving her. DS is a brat and screams the house down when I leave the room. I was home full time with him. Make of that what you will x

Sorry to hear of your worries about your family’s reaction to the news, dimble. I’m sure it will be one of those ‘worry for nothing’ scenarios when their reaction is much more positive than you’re expecting! And who knows, when baby is here and you’re looking at returning to work, maybe the grandparents will look to make some changes to their existing routine to help you out.

For the moment, try not to let it stress you out as there’s nothing to be achieved by it... easier said than done, I know!

Thanks @FrazzyAndFrumpled and @UntilTheVeryEnd. I think I'm probably being irrational and over sensitive because of the hormones. I think it's partly because dh and I have been in this little protected pregnancy bubble the past couple of months and I don't want to let any negativity in. I'm going to try to not think about it for now, although dhs parents are going on a long holiday 5 days after the scan so we do need to schedule in a time to tell them. Hopefully when we have the scan I'll be so excited I can't wait to share the news

@Dimblebimble DH and I were just chatting today about the prospect of telling parents soon as scan is on Monday. I'm also not 100% looking forward to it - opposite reasons though. It's first grandchild on both sides and I'm terrified of being overwhelmed by the response. I think both sides are going to be too excitable for me and whilst I can tell my mum to calm down, DH parents can be very overwhelming - it's taken a lot over the years to get them less involved in his life and to remove the expectation that DH will be visiting them every weekend - so I'm afraid of taking some steps back in that regard once they find out the news.
I think either direction of the worry is normal though and in either case we are probably making more of it than is necessary!!

@dimblebimble I was completely the same at this stage with my first. We’d spent so long just the two of us knowing that I couldn’t imagine telling anyone else. With regards to returning to work, I would just honestly see how you will feel when baby is here. I know it’s a cliche but I was adamant that I loved my job, I was going back after 9 months full time etc. When DD arrived I couldn’t think of anything worse than work. I stayed off 13 months and went back 4 days a week which didn’t work out and had to go full time. It was exhausting as DH works away too, weekends were just about housework and chores. The other thing that surprised me and I know a lot of my friends felt the same, m job no longer felt anywhere near as important as it had before. In fact it was irritating. I’ve just started a new job, 3 days a week. It bores the pants off me but whilst DD and now hopefully DC2 are young those 4 days off are amazing. So you might be surprised at how you feel when baby is here. It’s not something you can imagine because it’s so abstract. If in laws do mention your job just smile and say you’ll see how you feel when baby is here. It’s none of their business so don’t engage in tense conversations.

I know what you mean @Dimblebimble, there's something quite nice about it when nobody else knows. The family will be probably be absolutely delighted for you when you tell them though, and like others have said they will maybe be able to make some time to help you out with childcare like the others. And whichever way it goes, sod what anyone else thinks about your mat leave/going back to work!

I had my dating scan today. All was well! Little bugger refused to turn the right way though so we were in there for ages! My dates seem to be creeping forward - initially 25th April from LMT, then 22nd from last scan and today set it for 20th. I still fully expect a May baby though, not even gonna get my hopes up that he’ll not come late after going 2 weeks over last time! I was surprised when she said she could tell his sex from the ultrasound (we already know from NIPT). I had no idea they could see that at this stage but apparently they sometimes can but obviously they’d never tell you unless like us you knew for sure already. Of course DH is all like “that’s my boy” 🙄😂🍆

@seeingdots congratulations on your little boy! How exciting to know the sex so early!

Welcome to the new ladies! 👋

TMI but is anyone else struggling with trapped wind? I’m getting such uncomfortable pains, particularly early evening and into night. I feel so full I’m not really passing wind either so I’m pretty fed up.

@Dimblebimble do you want their help? They may be able to make room for your little one.

People will be annoying but I can't imagine they will think your grandchild is less exciting than the others. It's still your first.

Also, no reason you have to say at 12 weeks. You could hold on longer and simply say you wanted to be further along when you tell people.

Hormones make everything worse

@UntilTheVeryEnd I'm with you on the wind front 

Trapped wind is just awful - random pains and very difficult timing my moments at work!

Good luck at your scan today @sprinkleofsunshine, hopefully the confusion around your dates will be cleared up.

What time do you go?

Thanks so much @L0kiWh0 praying that's all it is and we see a hb or growth in the right direction.

It's at 1.45.

@frankiefumbles in my ideal scenario I'd have the child at nursery 1 day a week, at my parents 1 day a week, at dhs parents 1 day a week and the other 2 week days me and dh would look after them and on the weekend I'd be home. My job means I can work from home and work flexible hours some days, and dhs job means he's in and out throughout the day, so hopefully we could take turns and I'd still manage to get some work done. But I also would feel bad asking them to have the baby a day a week, as it's a big commitment. My mum already has my sisters two children 4 days a week.

I think I'm partly stressing as dhs parents are going away for 3 weeks 5 days after the scan so really if we want to tell them in person we have to tell them soon after or at 15/16 weeks. But other people might have guessed by then and we want to make sure family know first, and also that we tell both sets of parents as close together as possible so people don't let slip.

I am also dreading the facebook announcement everyone seems to do at 12 weeks. I feel like if you don't do it you seem odd and like you're keeping it a secret but Im also a worrier and feel like it's very early to announce to the world! Have loads of work colleagues on there too...

@Dimblebimble re Facebook, sod everyone else and what they expect. Do what YOU want to do. As a "compromise" you could create a private photo album at each point then publish it when baby is born all at once. We're not planning on making a 12 week announcement either.