November 2018 #3

[olderthanyouthink]

Ante-natal thread for babies due this November, continued...

Stats spreadsheet is here - add and update yourself as needed!

The crochet crowd are fantastic for learning how to crochet and following patterns. Very easy to follow even if mikey does waffle on a little bit that gives a little cushion to catch up.

I'll probably do a blanket to match the pram too but wanted colourful blankets too for the rainbow baby.

@Amarettoplease I sew as well but it's a bit anti social sitting in a room by myself of an evening. Would love to be able to knit but I'm far too impatient! I did an intro to crochet class as I needed some guidance/structure to learn as my attention span is terrible if not 😂 I'm crocheting a blue/green blanket at the moment. I have a feeling baby might be a boy as the pg is so different but I'd totally use it for a girl too

So nice to see all the positive scans and loads of hugs for those having struggles and bad news. I have a date for my first scan and my consultants appointment. Hope you are all ok. I'm still suffering horrendously from nausea and extreme tiredness. Can only be good I suppose but I would like for me to be able to get through a day without feeling like this. Also struggling with feeling cold all the time!!

Love those blankets! I am still making one for my DS, never crocheted before and about a year ago gave it a go doing some squares to send for a woolly hugs blanket and I decided to do one for my son. I've just alternated three colours for three rounds and am making it big enough to last and he can use it or it can be a "poorly" blanket as I remember having a poorly blanket when I was younger. It's taken forever as have only done a bit at a time - just like one massive granny square!

I want to do one for newbie to come home with but going to wait until 20w to get colour inspiration to go with neutral colours etc I guess I will also need to get baby safe wool? There's a haberdashery shop nearby so will go there.

Scan went great, 12+4 and still one baby. Feel like I can relax a bit now and start to feel excited!

Congratulations @Magpie24! It's such a relief, isn't it?

I don't crochet but I do knit so think I'm going to start knitting some little cardigans and booties. Didn't knit much for DD as she was a spring baby but will probably do a bit more this time. If anyone's would like to learn to knit, I can recommend Aneeta Patel's Knitty Gritty. It's a great book for absolute beginners and it has a lot of baby patterns in there.

Just wanted to pop on to this thread to say thank you for all your kind messages and to those of you who PMd me with your stories. I had the op yesterday and it was actually ok. The worst bit was the staff all being so lovely and saying how sorry they were, which made me cry each time. They moved me up the list (I think due to the reason I was there) which meant I was in theatre quickly, and home by 6. DH has been looking after me. Apart from some cramping I’ve been ok, just exhausted, probably from the emotions. Today I feel fine but I don’t think it’s hit me yet. We will try again soon and have agreed to do the Harmony or Iona test early next time (I now understand all the chat about this a few weeks back). Even the senior midwife I saw said I should just “pretend I have some cramping” to get an early dating scan at EPU next time.

So, thank you all and just to say I love the thought of lots of you making blankets, I may do one at some point to remember the baby.

@Nightmanagerfan glad all went as well as it could. Can't imagine how exhausted you must feel. Look after yourself and the very best of luck for the future xx

@sarahhh1984 thanks for the book tip, I'll check it out. We're hoping to
Move house soon so my sewing machine is getting stored next week so will be a good opportunity to give knitting a try!

I'm thinking of signing up to NCT classes soon, as I'm in London and have a feeling they will be popular and fill up. Can I ask for those of you who have been to NCT before what was the average age of mums to be attending? Am 29 and have a feeling I could be one of the younger ones attending but happy to be proved wrong.

@Nightmanagerfan glad everything went as well as it could for you.

@Nightmanagerfan Glad everything went as well as could be expected for you. 

@LastNightsMakeUp Good luck with the move! It's a really great book if you've never knitted before. I taught myself using it.

My BF told his parents about the baby and they are super excited. We've tried to work out when we can tell his sisters together but that looks impossible at the moment. Haven't told my parents yet I don't see the problem with just texting them the ultrasound, they can be a tad judgmental about young people having kids.

I am slightly tempted to try and knit something, I haven't since I was little and the bigger then I made was a little red baby doll blanket.

I think my god mother will knit or crochet something for the baby though we have very different tastes in colour pallets.

@Nightmanagerfan I'm glad you're reasonably ok and I wish you the best of luck for the future.

@Magpie24 I think it would be nice to do some classes to meet some people in the same boat but I haven't heard the most positive things about NCT and I'm a bit worried about being a decade younger that everyone else (I look even younger)

@Magpie24 I was one of the youngest but we all 'felt' the same age IYSWIM. Having your first baby is a great leveller. We ranged in age from 28-40, the bulk being early 30's. @olderthanyouthink I would say take NCT information with a pinch of salt and know that you're basically there to make friends with women in the same situation at you. I found it invaluable especially in the early days when everyone is up all night doing night feeds and whatsapping. In the early days even if you have friends who have a baby with a 3 month age gap (for example) it feels absolutely huge! They change so much early on and your challenges and worries do too.

@olderthanyouthink a text of the ultrasound is quite a bold move to your parents! Would they think it's a wind up? With dd I'd only been with my OH a year when we unexpectedly fell pregnant. We were both worried about telling the families (even at 29 and 34!) and both felt like naughty teenagers! Both the families were over the moon as never thought they'd get grandchildren and all thought the fact I got pregnant while on the pill was wonderful! 😂

Hmmm sorry @olderthanyouthink I'm not sure why that's all bold... feels very direct!

@LastNightsMakeUp I've heard about it being more to make friends, I have google and mumsnet so I'm not bothered by the info. I just worry about not fitting in because I'm going to look like the teenage mum among the 30 something's even though I'm an old lady on the inside.
A few people I went to school with are having babies but we were never friends and don't live near anymore, I'm a bit jealous they have their friend to do this with.
The ultrasound I think would trigger a phone call and they would soon find out it's not fake. My BF and I have been together for 15ish weeks and I'm 11ish weeks pregnant 😳 I would kill to have been together for a year tbh.

@olderthanyouthink I really wouldn't worry about fitting in, you'll be fine. As you say deep down you're an old lady! If you feel self conscious make a joke about it early, get it out there and then it's a non issue. One of the dads in our group was 22 (6 years older than his OH) and I've only realised that recently, he looks younger but has an old head on his shoulders - for the last 2 years I just thought he had good genes!
I moved areas when I was 30 weeks pregnant and didn't know anyone other than the NCT girls, we're not as close as other groups I've known since people have gone back to work etc but one of the girls has become a really close friend and I see her several times a week still. I wouldn't have been able to bare the baby groups in the early days without her! I was not used to random singing and baby talk..... I'm a total pro now. Have a nursery rhyme ready for all situations!

@olderthanyouthink 15 weeks or 15 years, I think these things happen for a reason 😊

@Magpie24 I was the youngest in my group at 28 with the others all being in their mid 30s. It didn't really make much of a difference

nightmanager so glad it went as well as it could and everyone was kind. Thinking of you and wishing you lots of luck for your future journey.

sarah thanks for the knitting tip.
I might just get that book, I’d LOVE to be able to knit a few bits, I love knitted stuff on babies and may just treat myself to the book after the 12 week scan.

@olderthanyouthink sorry he was 22 6 years YOUNGER not older (I'm claiming toddler + baby brain!)

I never did NCT with my first baby @olderthanyouthink for similar reasons. I was 20 in North London and felt so judged. In reality, since I my daughter started toddler groups/nursery/school/clubs etc I've never had a bad vibe from anybody and have made some lovely friends along the way. I wished I'd been brave enough to go to NCT in the first place - you should go for it!

I hope this isn't a silly question, but having missed out the first and second time round, is it weird to go to NCT with 3rd baby?! I'd love the chance to meet other mums in my area as we've now moved and planning on settling here long term. It's 10 years since my first baby and 7 since my second so it feels all new again!

I wouldn’t have found it odd. In fact I think our NCT group would have welcomed someone with some real experience. As other have said the content isn’t brill but it is so good to meet others. I’d love to do it again. I think they do refresher courses too- might be very wrong on that.

We didn't do NCT as DH isn't really a sociable chap but ok when he knows people and we were worried we would spend the money and not gel with them etc. So we did the NHS half day parent craft thing and that was it. One of our friends was pregnant and due shortly after us so I had some company and my MN group were awesome (still are!).

I made an effort to go the bumps and babies groups and little groups in the area and made some new friends too. Have made even more since son started nursery too.

As it's our second apparently NCT group meeting/Info is more for first time is been told so I will just use MN group before and then when bubs comes will go to the baby groups.

I was thinking of doing NCT this time but there aren’t any local refresher classes and DH isn’t keen on sitting through a load of stuff we’ve already heard before. Went to the NHS ones last time but it was just a massive room of people so no chatting/making friends. I’m hoping that with DS starting school in Sept as one of 90 reception kids there, at least one other mum will be pregnant/with new baby and I can pounce on her

DS’s birth was pretty straightforward other than shoulder dystopia at the end. I’m more confident in my body now, so hope I can ‘enjoy’ (haha) this birth more. Maybe hypnobirthing classes will be better than NCT for that and there are a few small group courses locally where we could meet other couples I guess. Has anyone tried it? Last time it was DH and my mum, this time I just want DH (mum to be on DS duty, luckily I also have an amazing neighbour with kids who I know I could ask in an emergency). Visions of him holding me while gently swaying although in reality last time I didn’t want anyone touching me. Or speaking for that matter 😂

NCT doesn't seem to be a 'thing' over here. Society must be still to segregated for it to have taken off. You would have thought though that having babies would be perfect common ground to bring the communities together. A missed opportunity imo

We didn't do NCT last time as we couldn't afford it. Instead I made friends through my pregnancy yoga class, the Mush app (this has been really good) and my local children's centre's baby club. So there are ways without NCT for those who are undecided.

Mush has been a great way of meeting other mums and I now have two really good friends who live just down the road and have little ones the same age. You can sign up when you're pregnant too and use it to meet mums due the same time as you.