August 2018 #5

[peterpanwendy]

As we enter month 5 of our pregnancies we need a 5th thread!

Good luck to everyone having their 20 week scan this/next week :)

Hi all. I haven't been on in a while as work has been bananas and I haven't been feeling great - I seem to be getting sickness after sickness (thanks compromised immune system). Anyway - due mid-August, baby number 2 (a boy, we found out a while ago).

Can I ask - does anyone have experience of antenatal anxiety/depression? I suffered from pnd after my first child, and I was worried about getting it again before I got pregnant, but I seem to be already slipping into something. I'm not sure - it could just be the demands of life at the moment. Work is unbelievably crazy, I've never been so busy, and I suppose that's intensified with a toddler to deal with as well. But I'm feeling a lot of anxiety about being pregnant and what things are going to be like when the new baby gets here. I found adjusting to motherhood really tough with dd, and I still find it a bit difficult, if I'm honest. So I'm already really worried about going 'backwards' (if you know what I mean).

I'm also having some issues with my husband. We've had a number of rows over the last while about this weekend away he wants to go on. In August. When I'll be 39 weeks pregnant. He kind of slipped it into conversation when we got the due date, and I just ignored it at the time, but over the last few weeks he's said a few things that suggested he was planning on going. The first time he did it, I got a bit upset and told him that I didn't think it was a good idea, and then we stopped talking about it. Then last weekend, he said something about looking forward to something that was planned for it, and I kind of lost it a bit. We had a massive row, and he said that he thought because I didn't say no explicitly, that it was fine to go. I was so angry, because seriously - how dare he put me in that position? I've never, ever stopped him from doing anything he wants, and he has a pretty good social life (golf most weekends in the summer, an annual ski trip with his friends etc etc). I'm so resentful that he basically wants me to be the 'bad guy' so he can save face with his bloody friends. He could not understand why I was upset about that, or that he should know himself that it was not on and just accept it without involving me in any way. The trip is a big deal - they do it every year, and if he doesn't go he loses his place, and I'm sorry for him, but you know - that's life. Things haven't really been great since - he's not going, but I feel horrible resentment and guilt and upset towards him and life in general. Things are just going to get harder and busier with two kids, and I feel even more like I'm at the bottom of the pile in life now.

Anyway, sorry for that rant. I guess my question is - should I talk to the midwife about it at my next consultation? They gave me a referral to the mental health unit as a result of the pnd when I booked in, and I can take it up whenever. I guess I don't know whether the way I'm feeling is just because of immediate circumstances - work, constant sickness, fights with husband - or is a symptom of a bigger problem.

I haven't posted in so long! Not sure If I posted my 20 week scan on the Facebook group but for those that aren't here he is! This was actually a Rescan as he was facing the wrong way at my 20 week so this was on Friday at 22+3!
I can't believe how quickly the pregnancy is going! My two best friends have started to talk about having a baby shower for me! Hope everyone's doing well and I will definitely try and keep up on here as well

@badb so sorry that your Husband is being like this, he's completely in the wrong and I hope he realises that soon.

In terms of anxiety and depression, I had PND after having my son. The doctor put me on Sertraline and it's helped a great deal. I'm a lot less anxious through this pregnancy than the last one. It's safe to take during pregnancy so if you are happy with taking medication I'd really recommend it.

Had my injection, thanks for the tip @Pereie I got it on my right arm! Feels fine for now x

Getting myself rather wound up and worried now with these movements. Only felt my little girl move a small amount this morning and now not felt anything all day.
Should I contact the hospital or not? I don't want to go for no reason.

@jemily how many weeks are you? Could you ring your midwife? X

I'm 22+2 today. Just rung up the assessment centre and they have told me not to worry. But if I'm too concerned they will be happy to see me and listen in with a Doppler for a couple of minutes just to put my mind at ease.
I'm going to rest at home and have tea etc and see after my husband is home. X

@jemily my cousin who is 36 weeks now said the best thing to do is drink really icy cold water then lay down and relax for an hour or so and hopefully a stubborn baby will wake up and have a wriggle. Try not to worry yourself and at least you can go in and have a listen if you'd like to x

Thank you very much for your advice. Hopefully she will wake up soon!

Hi @jemily do you know where your placenta is? That could be cushioning some of the kicks? Mines anterior and it definitely is

Hi all,

Many thanks for the replies. My placenta is on the back of my womb.

I've been down to the hospital and the midwife has given me an MOT and had a listen in with the Doppler. Good strong heartbeat and no problems at all. Phew!

Such a relief. They were all so lovely at the hospital too.

Nothing was too much to ask and they were all so reassuring.

Since then... of course... she has been kicking again! Typical!

Many thanks all once again

Just a note, after 28 weeks it's no longer advised to drink cold water and wait. If you notice movements have reduced then go in as soon as you can regardless. You're only supposed to drink something and wait if you're unsure whether movements have been reduced or not. At this stage it's less of a worry because they have so much room to move around it can just be that they are in a different position, but definitely trust your instinct regardless!

I had a bit of a scare today - had a really weird almost tugging or plucking sensation almost as though the baby was pinching me or pulling at something from the inside! Tried to google and all I could find was round ligament pain which I'm sure is more that shooting pain when you sneeze/get up too fast - and some old wives' tale about the baby pulling the cord. It really took me by surprise the first time and took my breath away for a second and I was teaching, so I tried not to react. Later it happened a few more times but wasn't as shocking when I was expecting it, but it was still really weird! DH thought it was funny and told my belly to stop pinching Mummy, haha. I'll ask my doctor at my appointment tomorrow but so strange! I am collecting quite a list of questions for her

20 weeks today, have my 20 week scan later, still can’t feel any movement but I know with an anterior placenta it’s still abit early to. Really hoping everything is okay and baby’s okay. Have been worrying past few days that they might find something wrong with him :( doesn’t help that no matter how much sleep I get I’m always tired and sleepy and work is getting harder as I’m on my feet 8 hours a day. Anyone else feel as tired and sleepy as me! Also not to mention the breathlessness! I shaved my legs last night and oh laughed because I was breathing heavily after like I’d just ran a marathon!

Good luck Gem. I've got my extra detailed scan this morning so am gearing up for that!

Good luck today @Gem173 and @BertieBotts 

I'm with you on the tiredness @Gem173 I am currently enjoying 2 weeks off work for the Easter Holidays and I could have happily laid in bed doing nothing for every single one of these days! Don't know how I'm going to cope when I'm huge and having to run around at work.
When do you finish for Mat leave?

Let us know how you get on with your scan x

Thanks @bertie and @peterpanwendy
I finish on the 13th August so something to look forward too x

Goodluck to you @BertieBotts!

@badb sorry to hear you're struggling. This is my first pregnancy and I've been very surprised by how anxious and down I've felt. This feeling is made worse by the fact that I know we are so lucky to be having babies and so many people who can't would give their right arm. I remember at the booking in appointment the midwife saying you can feel like this and you think you're going to love it but then the ups and downs of hormones mean it's not what you thought.

As much as I wanted to get pregnant and was so scared I would struggle (I'm 36 I was aware time might not be on my side) it seems huge and so daunting sometimes.

And there is so much information out there which is good but also a lot of it just serves to fuel anxiety. Anyway I just wanted to say you're not alone in feeling anxious and depressed sometimes.

Your midwife will prob want to know, I wonder if I should mention it to mine next week? I'm feeling better this week and just putting it down to hormones, the fact that my back ache and my body changing is freaking me out a bit! can't hurt to mention I don't think.

With regards to your husband he really shouldn't need your permission should he, it's his baby coming into the world he ought to be able to work it out for himself. Don't feel guilty. And whenever your husband (or his friends) are ready to grow and carry a baby for the best part of a year and then push it out through their genitals they can have an opinion on the matter. It will blow over and be forgotten about though.

Am 23+1 today. I THINK I can feel the baby move? Anterior placenta, sometimes get pulse like feelings in my tummy. Daily now really I'd say, not sure if it's the baby. But I can take until 24 weeks so no need to worry just yet. Seeing my on Tuesday so hopefully she'll know what's what.

20 week gender scan was fine! Baby boy is still a boy haha so thankfully they were right first time! Every scan we have had he has always been on his belly, so have had to try get him to flip over! All body parts are measuring normal and she even said he had his hand wrapped around His willy! 😂 oh put it down to being ‘camera shy’, although I doubt that’s what the ultrasound tech thought! Image is just of his leg! Can’t believe how big he’s grown in 4 weeks

@Gem173 glad all is ok! That picture is amazing it's so clear! We had a view from the top of her head where you could see both hands so clearly but unfortunately they didn't take a picture. I think they're much more generous at private scans when you're paying! Doesn't it feel so much more real now? 😍

Yeah it does!! But still waiting to feel him! That’s that last thing on my list for it to feel totally real!🤞

Head lice!!!!🙄😳🤮😔 DD came home
With one today from the Childminder's, anyone know of safe to use and minimal chemical lotion or repellent for pregnant women and a 4 year old with such sensitive skin?!!!

@StephieWoo - I'm not sure of chemicals but conditioner, a nit comb and a lot of patience would help until you can find one?x

Tea tree, but might be too late? Ask a pharmacist.

@Gem173 - congrats on the 20 weeks scan. The leg pic is a good one :)

@StephieWoo 4% Dimeticone treatment should be fine. But I'd buy it from the chemist and check with them. That's just what I got from a quick google.

Does anyone else feel massive? I seem to have ballooned in the last few days. I took my shoes off last night and I swear I had no ankle bone. It was all swelled up! It was just leg and then foot! I'm so envious of these ladies who have just a bump in the front and the rest of them stays the same.

We're cracking on with decorating the new nursery too. We're going for a pale mint green on one wall and the rest white. And then coral and bright pink accents. I'm it will look lovely and not end up a Pinterest fail. DD's room is also getting a makeover (its only fair) so got loads to do in the next few weeks before I get too big!