May 2017 #10 - To be prepared or not prepared

[RasperryInAMelon]

Here's a link to the last thread and photo updates just incase anyone's looking for anything!

Thread 9

Photo Page - Bump Update

I don't have access to a desktop right now though so can't post the link to the GoogleDrive spreadsheet, but it's a few posts down in the previous thread!

Happy chatting!

Bouncingblueberry hydrotherapy sounds lovely!

Am off for 31 week midwife appointment today. It's not my usual midwife so fingers crossed she is as nice as the usual one

Those who have been wondering about slings... we went to a sling library and tried a few. We decided on a stretchy wrap for when baby is small as they seem good for using at home - you can put baby in and take it out without taking the sling off. The best one I tried was a boba stretchy wrap. When baby is a bit bigger we'll probably get a connecta (sp?) which is more rucksack style, but very lightweight, and hugely favoured by DP who says "I don't want to wear something that looks like a sarong".

rustler we have a small co sleeper and then a cot for the baby.
Child can move straight into a single bed when the time comes.

Rustler we've got a chicco next to me cot to go next to our bed and will move him into a bigger cot in the nursery when he is 6 months or so

Yay to getting doula sorted savage :) such a special relationship and another thing to not have to research anymore!

My DH got given the Haynes manual for babies too as he's a mechanic Luckily coz of his oily hands etc we have a couple of black towels already.

Defo getting a sling but not entirely sure which yet. Got given a couple from friends so will try those and go to a sling library.

nurse molasses and nettles ( wash well,cook like spinach) good for iron. Sorry to hear you feeling so wobbly at night, its a nerve wracking time but there's no reason to think you can't be a mum, you already are really and try not to feel too left out today, you're the one growing a baby inside you which is way better than being part of a work chat group anyway! You're part of this one!

I've had a few wobbles mainly to do with identity. I realise the abrupt job losses whilst preggo will have exacerbated this too. Was crying to DH other day about not knowing who I am or what my role is anymore as I don't have a job to go back to like most women after having a baby. What will I do for work? When etc. That and I'm not myself emotionally and physically (as I was before) and prob won't be for a while. So many unknowns and what ifs...... He very sweetly explained that I have the most important job of all, growing our baby then helping them grow into a wonderful little human. All will be ok. Love that man.

That's so lovely of your DH badger, and he is completely right, no point worrying about the unknowns that you can do nothing about.

Mine is being pretty fabulous too. He pickled some cucumber for me yesterday, which I've been craving but unable to find the perfect one.

I'm not sure why I'm not having more wobbles. It may be because I'm fundamentally in denial about what the reality of having two with a two year gap will be. Plus this time I won't have my mum to help me. DH is trying to persuade me to get some counselling to help me work through my feelings after loosing her last year, but I'm not sure it would be a good time to release the flood gate, what with all the hormones and everything.

Esmes that's really sad to hear. Definitely try the counselling at some point. Were you close?

Oh @Badgerbird, your DH is a good egg. I think your identity while your pregnant is such a scary thing; I'm a nurse and I always have been, then a wife... and now I'll be responsible for someone for all their life!!! I always have a wobble in the middle of the night for no reason. I'm a bit of a loner anyways, I like my own company etc but I don't like people thinking I'm rude or anything. I just keep my distance as I don't have any interest in going out to an escape room or something. Plus I think this Mum chat is the best :)

I am so sorry @EsmesBees. My Nana - my mums mum - passed away in 2009 & I always say she missed out on "the best of me"; graduated uni, getting a house, my DH & now having a baby. I miss her so much it aches my chest sometimes, as we were close. My DM struggles as well. Have you ever tried counselling? I hated it if I'm honest, I felt like I was ripping myself out for the world to see. I can't imagine what you are going through, but we are all here for you. Even for just a little moan.

Who was asking about my cot? It's a Tutti Bambini and goes into a toddler bed. I've got a Chico next to me travel cot thing for the first 6 months. I'm not sure by co-sleeping as I'm a very deep sleeper, and DH tosses and turns a lot in the night.

Be interesting to see if your sleep patterns change in late pregnancy nurse - mine certainly did and stayed altered for quite a while. Any peep out of baby and i was aware, other noises still slept through. OH watched me sleep next to baby and said it was interesting to watch me react even if i looked completely KO'd

Badger your DH is really sweet I do think it must be hard for them. Mine will come out with random lovely comments that just make me go awwww, I always knew he was awesome (bit biased ) but he really really is I can understand the identity crisis (for want of a better description) I think work dominates our life so much and when you're lucky enough to love what you do it's hard to see what you do without it. My attitude to work has changed a bit since being pregnant and I have a bit of a worry about how I'll keep up the travel commitments once I go back, but then I put it back in my mental "worry about it later box"

Nurseries look awesome teaspoon & nurse little bit jealous

Esme it must be really hard doing this without your mum, maybe worth talking to your midwife about the counselling, she might be able to give you a steer.

Hope your hydrotherapy goes well blueberry just being in the water will be amazing.... planning a swim tonight to feel like a normal person for a while

Thanks all. It's good to be able to talk about these things, and often easier online than in 'real life'. Savage, it is hard, but not as hard as I imagined it would be (and definitely not as hard as it was caring for her during the illness and a one year old). It's just some days it's gets too much for me. Really good idea about asking the midwife about counselling, I'm seeing her tomorrow so will do so then.

Nurse I'm sorry you've suffered a loss too. Chest aching is exactly how it feels. Thanks for the insight on the counseling. I have never had it before, so no idea if it would be good for me or not. It just feels like i need to do something. I'm fine most of the time, and then occasionally all the grief bubbles up and I'm overwhelmed.

We were really close tea, she would have been so delighted that DD was getting a sister, and would have been so involved in both of their lives. It's ok, it's part of life, and they will never know any different, it just makes me sad sometimes.

Blueberry hope the hypnotherapy goes well. I love being in the water.

Badger I'm having similar wobbles about work. I'm not coming back into my current role, and I'd applied for a promotion but didn't get it. So although I know I'll have a job when I come back, I don't know what it will be, and I don't really know what I want it to be. It's really unsettling.

Am also being a bit annoyed/possibly paranoid. Someone in the office is going totally overboard on what I think is Olbas Oil at the moment. Firstly I think it's massively anti-social in the office, but secondly I'm a bit worried as it's not recommended in pregnancy. Don't know if I should say anything or not... argh.

@savagehk a friend told me that she become "hyper aware" when her baby was in the bed, and I sleep with a "gap" anyways, when a cat usually cosies up. I can imagine doing it when DH isn't in the bed, I mean we are the only species who don't sleep with their young!

@BouncingBlueberry I am so jealous of hydrotherapy! How did it go? Swimming is helping me loads but I am so exhausted with my low HB!

@EsmesBees I bottle it all up, and when I feel like I really need her, I get upset. I was so depressed when I finished Uni, when we got married, and I feel it creeping up on me now. My (Grand)Papa is very quiet, he's not the type to pop over and ring you up like Nana did, so often I feel a bit isolated from the family. Some people really benefit from counselling but I'm so closed off I didn't like it. I cope by being selfish for a few days. Mother's Day lead up makes everything ten times worse, especially with the TV adverts, FB, and all over he supermarkets.

I'm off to pick up shopping but I am EXHAUSTED. The house is a state but I'm way too tired to deal with this shit!

nurse looked online for a pic of how we coslept (and failed) - basically I was on my side, back to OH, top leg at 90 degrees, bottom arm at 90 degrees, and baby slept where my bump would have been. So OH couldn't get to him, I couldn't roll onto him (because of the leg/arm).

Quick question (I'll aim to catch up later!) but has anyone been to the Lidl baby event? Wondered if they had anything worth making a trip for!

Update: no one else in my office can smell this Olbas Oil and no one near me claims to be using it!!

Savage I can't quite picture that. How did you stop yourself rolling over?

Arm shot here - if you roll baby-ward your arm would prevent you (the bottom one) pic

here is a shot of sort of what we did except my bottom leg was straight down and my top leg bent like that.

Oh dear MrsJW I wonder what it is that you're smelling that smells like olbas oil (for a good few weeks coffee smelled like tuna to me )

Rise my colleagues have concluded that I'm going mad :D

Just waiting at the dr for an antenatal check, hopefully will all be ok, kind of waiting for my BP to go up like it did last time.
Savage what did you do about covers for you? I'm excited to have the Snuz this time hoping to slide the baby in and out of bed with me to give us all a little bit more room and hopefully all get more sleep!

I have a quick question (like @Tickyboovicki I'm coming back later to catch up!) but popping to Argos as soon as I'm back to get a gym ball - they come in varying sizes - which is best??

esme I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, that must be incredibly hard. A good friend of mine lost her mum after her first baby and has been getting counselling through her midwife as the grief got a bit too much for her after having her 2nd baby 9 months ago. She's found it really helpful. I've had counselling on and off over the years and yes it does hurt and I never looked forward to it but I do think it helped. Whatever you decide to do we are here for you when you are feeling blue

Thanks Ladies, yes he is a bit brilliant (most of the time!) and he's really stepped up to the plate. Starting on some mindfulness and meditation/ hypnobirthing to help stay more in the present and stop my mind spiralling off into what ifs.... nurse might you find that helpful? I know deep down that it's all going to be ok I'm just a bit of a planner! I'm working on going with the flow as won't have much choice once she's here

That does sound unsettling jw. When will you find out what it will be?

After a good few days I've been wiped today! Had to go to hospital as they hadn't labelled my 28 week bloods correctly so had to do again (not 1st time!) So I took myself back to bed for an hour before work. Thought I might as well make the most of it!!

Not too big rasberry, sorry not overly helpful 😂 Would go for a M is its SML. If I'm home before your head to Argos I'll check the size of mine. Will just see if I can find it online!

This MN chat is certainly very helpful. You've all become anonymous friends which is quite nice!
My OH is a good egg too. He's really helpful when I ask him to but he's only now starting to realise I'm physically not as fit and able as normally. Thanks for the cot/ cot bed comments!

@RaspberryInAMelon at my pilates class the teacher gives the taller ladies a L, smaller ones a S and inbetween ones a M