Late December - Early January '17 Babies

[GerberaDaisy]

Hello,

So couldn't see a January baby post (probably because no one is mad enough to POAS as early as me!)

Anyway, I thought I would start one (waves). I am 28, this will be DC#2 making my 4 year old DS a big brother which he has been so excited about becoming (we haven't told him yet though as very early days!) I am roughly around 4 weeks and we're not planning on telling anyone for ages so thought I would start a thread so I have someone to get excited with!

Please come and say hello! Xx

Morning everyone. So nice to hear everyone's good news. Went away for the bank holiday weekend & then got back with a stinking cold that had me in bed for several days. I think the lack of sleep coincided with the sickness getting worse (week 9). I went for the harmony test on Saturday when I was 10+3 but bean is measuring at 9+3 so I'm going back on Thursday. Means it's extra money as had to pay for that scan as a standalone scan but can't be helped. It was nice seeing little bean & I cried at hearing the heartbeat & seeing it bouncing. Also my husband can't make the scan on Thursday as we go on holiday on Friday so I'm going with my mum. I think she's quite excited as she's never seen a scan as its a recent thing. Finally told close family this weekend which is a relief not to be hiding it anymore & my grandparents & aunt & uncle were so happy for us after the traumatic MMC that it was really emotional. My in laws just smiled & said they knew. Took the wind out my sails a bit especially as iv been trying to hard to act normally!!

Oh and Sueevone I think that's all very normal. This baby number 2 and I'm feeling the same way sometimes. I think it's just because we focus on getting through the first trimester & worrying about miscarriage. Then once the end is in sight, we then come to terms with what's happening!

sueevone I agree with emz32 it's quite normal. The enormity of the task is sinking in, even though it's something we want, it is still very daunting! After our scan on friday I seem to be unable to fathom that my body has another living body inside it, and whilst I go about my daily tasks, this tiny little human inside me is always there, always growing! It's so incredible! I can't believe my body is doing it all by itself!

Hello ladies may I join? I am 9+2, baby no 2. Much longed for baby as we've been ttc for more than a year. We were resigned to needing to start IVF and have visited and chosen a clinic when it happened naturally. I am excited and want to shout it from the rooftops but also very anxious that something may go wrong. We've had terrible baby news from friends this last year (late miscarriage, very premature birth, death ) and logically or not, I've been less relaxed with this pregnancy so far than my first.
Hoping for some good chats here..x

Congratulations lucy!

sueevone definitely normal. But you will be good enough, and it will be fine. When it's your first it's so hard to imagine. I know people who've had a really rough ride the first few weeks, but it always comes good in the end. For me, the day after my DD1 was born, I was sitting on the couch BFing her and a cheesy song was on the radio and all of a sudden I was absolutely dizzy with love for her. I hadn't felt much before that - and I wasn't worried about it - I was just knackered and it all felt surreal. But suddenly this feeling came over me and I just couldn't believe she was mine. I remember the first day we took her out in her pram, I was practically jumping down the street for joy and I couldn't understand how people seemed to just go about their normal lives when they had this amazing, incredible feeling for their children all the time. How did they live? How did they not constantly stop people in the street and say 'LOOK AT MY CHILD SHE IS AMAZING'? Ha ha. It honestly took about a year before I calmed down :D (Not that I don't love her just as much now, but obviously I do have to live my life like a normal person!)

There are rough times - sleeplessness is a killer, tantrums and 'I hate yous' and illness and constant worries, and all the rest of it - but honestly, when you have your baby you won't be able to believe how flipping amazing the whole thing is and how much you are able to love somebody. (And don't worry if it doesn't happen straight away - it will happen when it happens :) )

Thanks ladies! And congratulations Lucy!
I spoke to DH about it this morning and he was great but it's always better hearing it from people that have been there before.
Really appriciate the reassurance .

Aw lucy what a lovely way of explaining it.

Hope everyone is good. I had a 10 week scan today as part of the panorama early screening and all was well. Am starting to believe this all might be real!

Glad your scan went well stealthbanana.

Just had to re-read my own post - DC3 is going to mean a lot of big changes for us. I've managed to keep working full time (but flexibly) since having the DDs, and as far as they are concerned it's the same as me working part time, really. But for me it's become increasingly difficult - as soon as they are down to bed, Sun-Thurs, I sit down and work for at least three hours. There have been a lot of all-nighters.

My job is the type of job which is insanely long hours but so flexible that NOBODY goes part time. And if you do go part time, everybody warns you you'll do full-time hours for part-time money. But a colleague of mine braved it and i went for lunch with her and she said that it was fantastic, actually.

I have two options after mat leave with this baby - I've applied for two posts/grants which would mean 1.5-2 years off to write. If I get either of those I'll obviously stay full time and reassess at the end of that. If I don't get them, I'm going to go to 3 days a week. And try my best to do three regular 9-5 days (in London - commuting 1hr 20 each way) and that's it. At the moment I do those three days in London already, plus Thursdays working at home plus all the evenings. So I'd get an extra day at home with the baby (though DDs would both be in school) and my evenings back. Which is a bit silly really, as DH works every evening anyway (he's a teacher). But I feel like I'll have room to breathe again.

We'll see. Anyway, whatever happens - BIG changes, - bigger than I've made before.

Anyone noticed a change in their skin? at the moment I'm extremely spotty and I'm not normally like this! The skin on my hands have become really dry too, which isn't new for me, but haven't had it in months, and it normally happens in winter!

Wow swancourt, that sounds like hard work with two DD's to look after too! I can't seem to cope with work at the moment and i'm only pregnant, god knows what i'm going to do when i've been up all night with the baby! I'm still undecided as to what to do when I finish maternity leave, i've decided not to take the Occupational Maternity Pay offered because it isn't really an awful lot extra and it ties me into having to go back for 3 months.

I think i'll have to work in some capacity, but in my current job, by the time i've paid for child care for 9/10 hours a day, I won't be bringing in much money at all! Child care will be more than half of my day's pay. And on top of that my current place of work is 45mins to an hour commute each way and once you take out petrol, i'll probably have nothing left. So I don't really know what to do!

Bella I read somewhere yesterday that dry hands during pregnancy is a sign of having a boy I absolutely love some of these old wives tales! My skin hasn't really changed much, I was having a bit of a break out issue before I got pregnant and it's pretty much the same as it was before. Can't wait for next trimester when apparently you get all glowy with good hair. Will make a change from me being spotty and pasty and getting told every day that I look like i'm ill. Maybe I just need a holiday lol

That's so funny about the old wives tail kt as I read one the other day that spots are a sign that it's a girl who is stealing your beauty 😂 I love reading them too!

Haha brilliant! I'm glad I've had a reassurance scan and saw only one baby or the old wives tales would have me worried I was having twins, a girl from my spots and a boy from the hands! Can't wait for this glowy stage everyone's on about...!

My Dad keeps making "hilarious" jokes about me having twins as I'm feeling so much worse than last time. I have spots and dry hands, maybe he's right!!

I might try the wedding ring on a string over my little bump to determine the sex, I've heard that's a thing!

I did that several times with my wedding band Magpie, and if went up and down in a line.. Which means boy? All little things I've read are pointing to me having a boy!
I'd love twins, but only one in there at early scan for 9+1 last week and I think it looks like a boy 😂 not sure what I'm basing this on!

parney love the pic

ktt remember that childcare costs are not your sole responsibility - they're shared between you and the father - I try to think of it that way (so half the cost is mine and half his, because the children go to childcare because we are BOTH in work and not just because I work - and in the long-term we're much better off if I stay in work as once the childcare years are over I'll have 30 years left and I'm in the kind of job you can't just leave and go back to later. In our case, though I have to work anyway or we can't pay the mortgage, so it's a no brainer for me ...)

I had a private reassurance scan last week too because I'm so anxious this pregnancy at 8wks+. One lovely strong heartbeat. DH was hoping for a surprise 2 (he wants 3kids) . I don't think we'll be finding out the gender this time round. We already have DD1 and I'm quite indifferent btw boy/girl. It'll be a surprise regardless I think and will keep grandparents guessing for longer
I'm finding I'm waking to pee every morning at 4/5am (sorry tmi) despite how much I'm empty my bladder the night before and then struggling to go back to sleep after. Then I'm so sleepy / tired at 3/4pm I'm sure my boss suspects something's up although he's a childless man. I'm still deciding when I'll tell work. What are the working mums on here doing?

I am having my twelve week scan on 24th and we have a huge meeting and celebrations on 27th - sort of our year end. So I'll tell my boss that day I think. Luckily I am at a point in the year where I get to work from home a lot so nobody has noticed. But I am on my way in today and I can't hide my bump!!! 10 weeks 1 day pregnant and my bump is so blatant, and so blatantly not fat. Went to a ballet class last night and my teacher kept telling me I wasn't pulling in my stomach muscles - I totally was but they don't go anywhere! And then she stopped and said nothing again - sure it was obvious!

Plus this evening is a seminar I have organised with wine etc. We had one a month ago and I did have a glass to keep my cover. Today I won't - there's no way I could begin t fancy a glass of wine right now. Everybody will guess from that alone ...

I've already told my line manager as we shift boxes and had a big event last week which I was worried I may not cope with, but I haven't told our director yet. I'll do that and notify work "officially" after the 12 week scan and we've had the results back from the tests, all being well. Fingers crossed!

Hmm. This is an area I'm none the wiser the second time round. First pregnancy I was "shoved" into a new team due to corp restructuring at 12wks preg so I only told at 20wks. No one suspected as my bump was small and I hid beneath winter jumpers. This time round, I've joined a new team 2 months ago, trying to position for promotion in male dominated environment (work in finance). Not sure what to do. Any thoughts?

I'm a SAHM now but last time around I told my boss straight away but the nature of my work meant I needed adjustments from the start. I was close to my boss anyway and he knew I was planning children, he was very happy for me and excited so it was nice to be able to tell him. Plus I thought if something went wrong I'd need support/ time off so it made sense to tell him straight away.

I'm a divisional CEO in the middle of a large change programme - me stepping out is going to cause chaos. I'm going to leave it til as late as possible to tell - am hoping to hold out to at least 20w but I guess it will depend on how I look. (Luckily I am naturally apple shaped so people just seem to look at skinny limbs and ignore my tummy!) Also my boss is located in HQ abroad so I only see him in person once every 4-6 weeks which should make it easier!

My boss totally knows I'm trying for a baby because a) I told him when I was drunk last summer that we were going to do it, and forgot until he reminded me; and b) I told him about my MC in March. So he knows it's only a matter of time. Nobody at work will mind - I'm an academic but they'll get in somebody cheaper than me to cover my teaching, and I'll still be responsible for my research (and am slightly ahead of schedule on that this time around anyway), so it is a slight headache but it's a supportive environment. Hoping to go back off mat leave to two years on a grant to write a book, which will be awesome for me. But won't hear about the funding until November and/or February (two separate schemes).

(forgot I had told him - not forgot I was going to try for a baby!)

Great to hear of so many supportive bosses . I read this www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-business/10869814/How-to-break-it-to-your-boss-youre-pregnant-and-how-not-to....html the other day and it's nothing new but it deals with the issue quite systematically. I think I'll probably have to delay telling (as long as my bump allows me) while I establish credibility in my new team.
On another note, DH has expressed an interest to share parental leave this time as he didn't get the opp last time. I think we may go 7m/5m split. Have you guys given thought to mat/ parental leave yet?