Late December - Early January '17 Babies

[GerberaDaisy]

Hello,

So couldn't see a January baby post (probably because no one is mad enough to POAS as early as me!)

Anyway, I thought I would start one (waves). I am 28, this will be DC#2 making my 4 year old DS a big brother which he has been so excited about becoming (we haven't told him yet though as very early days!) I am roughly around 4 weeks and we're not planning on telling anyone for ages so thought I would start a thread so I have someone to get excited with!

Please come and say hello! Xx

I've started looking in to maternity leave and pay and the wording of our policy is a bit confusing so I'm looking forward to telling HR and having them explain it to me! DH will probably only take the 2 weeks leave and try and use some holiday to extend his time off to a month. He earns more than me so I don't think we'll split mat/pat leave between us. booking in appointment this afternoon

I think that's a fantastic thing to do lucy. NCT friends of mine did that with both their children - she took six months and then he took two.

I earn more than DH (it amounts to about £400 a month at the moment but I'm waiting to hear on a promotion and pay rise, so this is quite likely to be about £600 a month by the time I go on leave). I would love to split some leave with him - but it won't work out financially (bizarrely) because I'm going to take four months (on full pay), a month on SMP, then six weeks' holiday (on full pay), and then technically go back to work, but I'm an academic and it will be summer, and so while I do work a lot in the summer, it is mostly research and so flexible - DH is a teacher so can look after the children for a few weeks so I can do what I need to do. I'm also getting ahead on my research now, and being strategic about it, and applying for research grants following mat leave, so that what I have to do will hopefully be quite minimal. I have a few August exam board duties but nothing too onerous, and I will have MA marking and PhD students to see (I will continue to see them throughout mat leave, anyway).

But what that means is that DH won't be able to take any shared parental leave in September because it has to be continuous.

I'll go back to work in late September/October. If I get the grants, I'll go back full time. If I don't, I'll go back part time, I think (3 days). I won't know about the grants until November and February next year.

Yeah I earn more than DH too, because I'm in private he's in public sector, even though he's smarter than me (I rarely admit this IRL ) and have spent more years at uni.
swan he could still take shared parental leave after you go back as it doesn't need to be continuous, as I understand it. It's all a bit confusing and not all HR dept have updated their policy (mine included) www.gov.uk/shared-parental-leave-and-pay/booking-blocks-of-leave

Ah fantastic lucy, that's interesting! I had misunderstood that completely. Time to re-open the discussion!

I bet you're just as clever as your DH

Right, i've been playing with a doppler and I can't find the heartbeat and even though I know it's way too early and it's normal not to find a heartbeat, I searched it on youtube for pointers and found all these women finding the heartbeat. Now i'm silently freaking out. I know it's stupid, but I feel like I need a reassurance scan even though it's only (lol ONLY) 19 days until my hospital scan and I just got over my obsession with having one from the other week. I've even messaged a scan place to see if they have any space tomorrow.

But my OH won't be impressed, he says it's a waste of money and everything will be fine (he thinks he knows everything because he already has two kids, it's becoming quite the bone of contention between us lol)

I don't know what to do. Other than put the doppler far away from me until i'm 38 weeks or something.

Step away from the Doppler! I'm sure everything is fine and even a midwife might struggle to use one at this stage.
If it's really getting to you, then have another scan but get your OH to hide the Doppler.

Don't worry, I tried 4 attempts to find the baby when we got our Doppler with no luck then on the 5th attempt DH tried and found it in less than a minute. I think I was so fixated on finding it I may have confused it for another sound like the placenta. It was helpful to get a fresh pair of ears to find it. And now I roughly know where to find the baby its a lot easier to search on my own although we usually share the experience as I get DH to find the heartbeat while I lie there comfortable-less work for me and he gets to to have the involvement and pride of being the finder .

Magpie I didn't end up having the scan the last time because my OH wasn't on board. But I've been speaking to the sonographer this morning and she can fit us in this afternoon. So i'm thinking I might just not tell him where we're going and 'surprise' him with it, once he's there I think he'll be fine with it, but I just can't be bothered with the argument before hand! Or is that a recipe for disaster?

To be honest I could do with him just being supportive and not so judgemental. He just doesn't seem to be connecting to the pregnancy at all, I guess because he's done it all before and it's not the same first time thing for him as it is for me, i'm worrying about everything and he's super chilled.

That must be adding extra stress for you. I think it can sometimes be hard for men to get their head around as its not happening in their bodies. It's just an abstract concept, whereas we've got this baby with us all the time and it's all we can think about. It's all consuming, especially the worry.
Go and get your scan. Explain how you're feeling to him and hopefully once he sees that little flickering heartbeat it'll be a bit more real to him too. Hope it goes well!

ktt I had a conversation with my DH about wanting a private scan when my nausea eased at 9 weeks, he kept telling me I was over thinking everything and worrying for nothing which was really upsetting because my head was telling me the same thing but you can't change how your heart and hormones are feeling. After explaining how the baby is in the back of my mind in everything I do, and how I could feel the symptoms 24/7 and how stressful it was when they changed he agreed for us to have a private scan and admitted he hadn't thought of it that way as he can't possibly imagine what it feels like. He's trying really hard not to be so 'clinical' about everything now (which upset me) but he said that that's his way of mentally preparing for bad news and his coping mechanism so I have to respect that about his personality but having the discussion really eased the stress we were both under. Hope you've had a good day, and you've had a good talk with your other half and things went well at the scan if you went ahead with it.

Thank you, both

In the end there wasn't much of a discussion, I told him what we were doing and he didn't fight it at all. I think it definitely benefitted both of us, it was amazing to see the little heartbeat flicker and the baby bouncing about and waving it's tiny arm! I feel so much better now i've seen what's in there and the sonographer said everything looks exactly as it should. I still think he doesn't quite get how I feel, but he grabbed my hand as soon as the baby popped up on screen and has been very nice to me since haha

Fantastic news!

Glad it went well with you ktt

Great news ktt.
So who's got 12 week scans coming up this week? Mines a week tomorrow and I'm already having nightmares getting anxious about it!

I've got mine on Thursday. I'm so nervous. I think time is going backwards now!

Mine is in 10 days and I'm really excited but also having all fingers and toes crossed that everything'll be alright. Then the next day we will be flying to Greece for a week and a half. I'm looking forward to that after all the rain we got this weekend (!)

Hi guys! Hope you had a good weekend. I've just had a fun weekend with girlfriends but am exhausted now - need another weekend to recover!

My 12 week scan isn't happening until 13+4 so another couple of weeks to wait. Will be climbing the walls by then! Hoping that my panorama results come back this week - including the vital info of girl or boy!

That's exciting that you get to find out the sex so early! No working out what the hell nub theory is for you!

Yep - no surprises for me! Ha ha!

Did anyone start getting pulling and popping sensations at around 11w? I haven't had anything since around BFP time and suddenly my nausea has faded and I'm feeling all stretchy in the tummy.

magpie I have my scan Thursday as well, it's late but can't wait to see the little one!

It's good to have a scan day buddy sueevone! I hope it's a good day for both of us.

Stealth I'm around 10 weeks (12 by LMP hence the scan this week) and have been having pulling and popping feelings on and off for the last week. I can't remember if I had this last time around!

Great news ktt!

And good luck to everybody having scans. Mine is on Friday 24th (I'll be 13+3). Can't wait. Although I feel like crap a lot of the time and had a scan when I was 9+1 and saw a lovely heartbeat and the baby bouncing about, so I feel more relaxed now.

Had to tell people at work as they were about to book me flights to the US in October - I'll be 29 weeks. I thought they'd think I was shirking, but turns out it's too big an insurance risk anyway so I can't go. Yippee (didn't want to go!)

Good luck to everyone having their scans soon. Hoping to see some lovely scan photos.

Feeling sick and tired today. The nausea is much worse for me when I'm tired. DD was up 5x last night due to high fever (poor little mite) so that didn't help. I'm writing this now sat on the toilet in the ladies at work, needed a bit of a snooze break. Well... onwards and upwards!

Great news ktt!

Good luck for those with scans this week- I'm looking forward to seeing all the pictures! I've got mine a week tomorrow - I just wish time would hurry up. My bfp feels like a lifetime ago!!

Good luck to everyone having scans!

And my results are back, and it's a BOY Feeling much more real now!!