thread #2 - TTC#1 Grads, sick bags at the ready!

[Runner05]

We've finally got our BFPs and have started on the long winding road of pregnancy.

Most of us are starting, within, or just leaving the first trimester where bloating, unexplained discharge and constant nausea are watchwords of the day!

We're battling NHS inconsistencies, trying not to kill our midwives and desperately looking for a magic morning sickness cure... It's TTC#1 grads!!!

Just wanted to say that I don't think DH and I are "perfect". I just meant that you can do all the preparing in the world and actually nature has a completely different plan. I realise reading that back that I sound like a bit of judgemental bitch. I'm not, and I apologise if I came across that way. I guess I was trying to say that this wasn't a choice we arrived at lightly and that all the "work" we put into the decision to TTC (losing weight, saving money, changing diet and lifestyle etc.) doesn't mean it comes easy. I guess I was naive in going into this.

I want to thank you all for your help today. I know that for everyone, this has been a journey. You have been kind and supportive, and I wish you all the luck in the world with your pregnancies. For you to be this kind to a stranger says a lot.

ipatches I'm sure I'm not only speaking for myself here: we're not judging you and I get why you're frustrated xx

You're allowed to be and sometimes life just isn't bloody fair.

Just for a tad of perspective... this them last year I had just set my bags down in a women's refuge with two kids in two. My husband was on bail for rape and I sat there looking at my life in 4 bags and a couple of bin bags of toys and thought why the F*CK am I losing everything... why not him.

A year on we have a (not bragging) but massive house. My kids have their own bathrooms. My partner is the pole opposite to the hell ish 6 yrs of marriage I went through. I am surrounded by friends, my work (I'm self employed) has rocketed and we have never been happier.

I'm not rubbing your face in the fact I'm happy now. I'm just trying to highlight that I know what it's like to wonder why it can't just work out right away... for me it was worth weathering the storm. Stay positive and sending you a hug xxxx

Checking in for the first time since bfp yesterday morning. I'm very sorry to hear yesterday's news from Ipatches and Lauren. This is exactly why I'm not getting over excited yet. Happy but not excited. DH keeps asking if I'm ok.

Welcome Co5mo. It's been a turbulent couple of days on grads but hopefully things will settle down again.

iPatch I'm glad you're not going to give up. I'll keep my fingers crossed that we'll see you again soon.

How is everyone else this morning?

I'm still suffering but I'm jinxing it maybe just slightly less?

Dropped off some stuff for my mum in the care home yesterday. She's gone down hill so fast. I'm not actually sure she recognised me and I know she hasn't recognised my sister when she's called. Still the care home is cozy, the staff are very friendly and there are lots of them and there are lots of activities going on all the time. Her room is small but adequate, clean and the carers make an effort to make it homely. Once I've taken a few of her bits up I'm sure it will be lovely. Just very sad it's come to this so quickly. I told her we were trying for a baby because I was scared she didn't have long and I'm sad that she's gone down hill so much that she's not going to be able to enjoy the news as much as she would have

Oh, Runner, I'm sorry to hear about your Mum. That's sounds quite traumatic for you and your sister.

I'm glad the care home seems to be good. Glad she's getting looked after x

Runner I'm so sorry about your mum; wishing you strength at this difficult time.

Thanks to all for your support. I am feeling a little better today. Trying to look at the silver lining - this was a very early failed pregnancy and bleeding/AF has started; I think it would have been worse if the pregnancy had developed or if there had been a delay in AF. We can try again. Wine last night. Coffee this morning. And my body is returning to normal - the clothes which didn't fit last week because I was so bloated fit again; my boobs have shrunk back by 2 sizes so I can get back into my normal underwear (had to buy a new bra last weekend to accommodate them...) and my stamina has returned at the gym - I'd really struggled with my workout over the last 2 weeks and last week I even had to reduce it, but I feel capable again now.

I hope I will see you again at some point - the sooner the better!!

Patches xx

Morning hugs to patches and lauren thanks]

Welcome Cosmo!

Runner, sorry to hear your mum has gone down hill. I suppose the thing to hold onto is it sounds like she is in a nice home, will be cared for and safe, and will have company and things to do.

Glad to hear you may be turning the corner sickness wise.

I'm struggling a bit at the minute. I'm being sick at random times, including at night. It's not every day but I hate the unpredictability of it. I'm struggling with sleep too - I wake up now anytime between about 3-4am and that's me pretty much awake until it's time to get up. I stay in bed and do doze occasionally, but it's frustrating and getting me down. Hopefully it will improve soon. I'm so ready for the second trimester now (in my head everything will magically improve then!)

How is everyone else today?

runner I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. I know how it feels, my grandma had dimeric and didn't recognise me for the last 7 years if her life. It was terribly heartbreaking

pink I'm only 4+6 and I'm up at 3 am every morning, too. I sympathise that you have to deal with morning sickness thrown in to the pot. You must be exhausted.

choc you sound well rid of your waste of space ex mate! Glad you've found a better partner that will treat you right.

I'm bloated, sore boobs and back ache. Same as, no changes really. My anxiety has crept up on me though, and am in a mild state of panic that I'm going to lose my little poppy seed even though I know it's unavoidable if it does happen.

Miley, I suppose we all never know what's going to happen, but try not to panic.

What are you doing when you wake up at 3am? Are you staying in bed and trying to sleep or giving up and getting up?!

Miley I feel exactly the same, I feel so nervous about losing my little seed too. I'm very attached now and would hate for anything bad to happen, I guess we just have to keep positive and relax. I know it's easier said than done.
Runner so sorry to hear about your mum. That's so sad but at least she is in the best place for her and will be well cared for.

Indi, same here. I feel very attached. I check my underwear EVERY time I go to the loo, and I'm refusing to buy any baby things yet.

Only 5+4 today. Such a long way to go!

Sorry to hear about your mum runner but nice that you can still share your news with her.

Spend the night in a&e as I had pain and to my surprise it ended with being told no loss, no blood seen and closed cervix, hormones at the exact right level for 6 weeks 1 day. They don't scan on weekends though so need a scan to confirm tomorrow 9am.

The guy says as I've had ovarian cysts it's likely that that caused the bleeding as the uterus is exactly as it should be and no blood lost from there, that or deeper implantation and I'd know by now if I'd miscarried (no more blood)

So it's a waiting game, not out of the water and trying to not get my hopes up but more positive than yesterday

Oh, Lauren I'm so very pleased it sounds like everything is well. You must be so relieved (cautiously until the scan I know)

Lisa I'm with you on the knicker checking, I never realised what a stressful time it can be.

Lauren I'm so happy for you I may have just shed a tear, hormones are up the wall!
Irregular and Lisa I check all the time aswell, especially after the gym sweating in the nether regions is not good for my anxiety. My mum keeps telling me to stop worrying and to stay positive.

I am SO hormonal today, already cried 3 times and just eaten 4 rice cakes, taramasalta and 4 digestives for breakfast. Now I feel sick. I really hope I don't get any morning sickness, definitely feel like I'm pregnant now with the mix of food cravings and sore huge boobs and crying at the drop of a hat.

Oh Runner so sorry to hear your mum has gone down hill, but glad to hear you're happy with where she has been placed.

Welcome and congrats Co5mo.

Choc sounds like you had a horrific time of it,
So glad to hear you got yourself out of that situation and you're happy now.

My pregnancy insomnia is getting on my nerves no end now. Normally it's just when I wake up for a wee in awake for about 2 hours, which means I either go back to bed in the morning or I stay in bed way later than I usually would. Last night I had two periods of it, second one I didn't even need a wee!!! I'm 13+1 now, according to t'interweb I'm in my second trimester but Ovia still says in in my first.

FX for you Lauren it sounds so much more positive than you thought yesterday. Let us know how tomorrow goes.

Sorry for your loss patches try not to lose hope. As Runner says chemical pregnancies happen as they're supposed to, it doesn't mean you won't have a successful pregnancy in the future. Be kind to yourself.

Lauren, that sounds positive. Fingers crossed for your scan tomorrow. At least it is at 9am so you don't have to spend another day with uncertainty.

I haven't been to the gym in a while because of sickness but when I was going I was a constant knicker checker - sweating down there plays havoc with your mind! Are any of you doing gym classes? If so, what? I'm going to wait until I feel better hen hopefully get back into some classes and running.

Lauren that's great to hear. Really hoping everything is ok for you. I had some bleeding at 8 and 10 weeks and was told that sometimes it just happens for no explainable reason.

Not sure the knicker checking ever stops - I'm still doing it at 15 weeks!

pink I'm lying there until about 6am usually. Then I just get up and do housework and take the dog out. I'm going to bed at around 9pm every night because I'm exhausted.

lauren that sounds positive! FX for your scan tomorrow

Is anyone else having lower back pain? I stupidly googled it and didn't like the search results at all!

lauren yay that's fab news :)

runner sorry to hear about your mum :(

My nausea finally disappeared a few days ago, along with excess salivation and sore boobs (still have bigger boobs though) but the insomnia is back! Hoping I'm approaching the 8-10 weeks mark and that's my sickness over... wishful thinking I expect!!

Mild lower back pain is round ligaments stretching miley ... from my two previous pregnancies I know what used to stress me out and that was one of the things haha. Unless it's extreme pain, be calm xx

Lauren, that's definitely much better news! Fingers crossed for the scan tomorrow morning x

Thanks choc so glad you're here to calm me haha. I need a pregnancy expert around me. I keep getting a stabbing pain in my right hand side just behind my rib at the bottom. It's so sharp and sore it completely takes me by surprise and I yelp. Think OH thinks I've gone even more mad.

My thirst has increased 100% so I'm off to Google gestational diabetes. Why do I do it?

Leslie, if I'm right, are you the furthest on of all of us? Do you have a bump yet?!

Miley~ it's so frustrating isn't it. I'm just tossing and turning until I give in and eventually get up!

I am drinking loads at the moment too, it's died down a bit from the beginning mind!!

Pink yup, bit of a bump and into maternity jeans today. Not sure whether it's the baby, bloating or all the cheese and pick and mix I've been eating