February 2016 - Boobs are growing, sickness is going, and some of us are finally showing!!

[jellypi3]

Stats are HERE

rufus try flipping the mattress over/round just to make sure you aren't sleeping in a dip? I've found preggers yoga has really helped with hip/lower back pain, there's loads of videos on youtube if there's no classes local to you.

Therapy was very eye opening last night... she was very impartial but hinted that he has a lot of narcissistic traits (I had to google this and he fits 75-80% of the criteria) and that it would be perfectly reasonable to ask him to leave, even if just to give both of us space whilst he "proves himself" that he's good enough for me and the baby. She also said it was ok to stipulate that couples counselling was part of that. She said she'd never known anyone sulk for this long (7 nights).

Now I've just got to pluck up the courage to give him the old heave-ho. Should I do it face to face? Or in a letter? (is that an All Saints song?)

I'm loving all the scan photos and Team Blue/Pink announcements.... I'm fairly sure I'm still Team Yellow tho :)

Really pleased that therapy was helpful calypso! I think face to face is ideal, but you've got to feel sure that you'll be safe with his reaction (I don't know him obv, but that's always my main concern), so if not face to face is better for you then go for that. I think the most personal you can be whilst staying safe is the best way.

thanks haquoi i agree face to face is best, I'm more worried that he will manipulate me than get violent.

I've also had those weird disorientating moments about pregnancy, except mine was i suddenly felt i wasn't pregnant and that it was a figment of my imagination. I had to clutch my belly and poke to feel the baby to reassure myself :-/

calypso that's so good that therapy went well - she sounds like a good therapist!

rufus do you have a preg pillow?

isla lovely scan pic! I know - lots of boys due! I thought mine was a girl from the start but then started to doubt myself! DH was a little shocked but I think is over it now

Eek, that sounds rubbish Rufus! I bought a long pregnancy/breastfeeding pillow from JojoMamanBebe last week, and it’s made sleeping so much comfier! It’s rather steep, but my rationale was that it would work for other things later on (breast-feeding, baby nest etc), but you can get cheaper ones: www.jojomamanbebe.co.uk/sp+multi-purpose-maternity-body-support-pillow-in-maternity-products-and-underwear+b6299 …DP isn’t too keen on it as I basically cordon myself off in bed with it and have to spend ages re-arranging every time I get up for the loo!

Hehe, thanks Haquoi – I’m sure it will be less exciting when I’m the size of a house! Congratulations on getting so far, it must be such a relief, despite the scary disorientating thoughts.

Agreed that face-to-face is always better if you can Calypso… the risk with a letter is that he never follows it up and just sulks some more!

feel a bit naughty that I didn't stick a pic up! We only had this one as most of the other views were wriggling.

I went for some physio for my back and pelvic pain last week - bottom line is my joints are now properly hypermobile and I have no insight into my movements so am basically twisting and slouching my way into trouble. Having to relearn how to move (like a lady as my Mum would have said & refused to do that for years).

My full length body pillow is a godsend - just bought a long one from Costco.

Go to Fuerteventura next week - now feel confident to go as all to plan but realised I have nothing that fits so on a cheapo summer type clothes spree. May manage my first bump photo this weekend - its coming on nicely.

We also had great fun at a party last night - lots of friends who I haven't seen for ages and we have not done any Facebook announcements so we played "how long will it take them to get the guts to ask or will they assume I am fat?" Average time turns out to be 40 minutes - I am clearly going to hell

madsaz Sounds like something H and I would do if I socialised

Just realised that my DDad is picking DDs up on my due date to take them away for February half term. Planned before I fell pregnant! They'll also be at their Dads Fri-Sun, my Dads picking them up Monday. So I could potentially have a good 7-10 days of just me and baby - not sure how I feel about that, or how it will effect DDs However I could well be in hospital for 3-5 days after. And their Dad lives less than a mile from hospital and has already assured me he will bring them to visit every day He also pointed out I could still be pregnant when they get back from holiday - he got these faces -> (I'll be induced on due date if no baby before then)

arrow sounds like a mixed blessing. Having the help will be brilliant, can see why you want the kids around though.

Talking about having the guts to ask about been pregnant madsaz, a neighbour said this to my dh yesterday. "I hope you don't think I'm been cheeky but is she pregnant again?" Dh said yes and she replied "oh ok cos we weren't sure if she was or just really fat." I know I am overweight but jeez I wouldn't dream of asking someone that way.

I've just lost 3 stone so I have some sympathy, but yes people say some ridiculous stuff!

Well done, that's great. I lost 3-4 stone a few year ago but I'm useless and slowly most of it has been put back on . After this baby I'm determined to lose it again. I haven't put that much on in this pg tbh cos I have gestational diabetes so can't eat all the crap that I normally would

Update: he's gone!! Had to phone the police to get him out tho. He kicked off when I asked for the money he owes me (£450 for his share of the monthly bills), said he didn't have a contract so he wouldn't pay. So I said if you've got no contract you can leave now. He refused. I said if you don't go I'll phone the police, I think he thought I was joking. He changed his tune when he realized they were on their way. Anyway, he's at a mate's house tonight and for the foreseeable. I'm shaken up but ok. Honestly thought he wouldn't kick off (even tho all my friends said he would).

Well done Calypso, strong lady! Hope the situation improves. Are you due to see the counsellor again?

Calypso well done for standing your ground. Now, hold on and be steadfast. Easier said than done, I know. I'm in the midst of it myself, and it's fucking crap tbh. Stupid overgrown men children shakes fist

Thanks Monkerina. Technically the therapist is for couples only, or at least relationship guidance....not general mental health stuff (if that's what you mean?) but fear not, I have another therapist for that!! You're probably all thinking I'm a mental case but I've had depression and anxiety in the past and therapy has really helped. I should probably see my GP tho and let him know what's going on.

Hugs to you Arrow x

I'm very pro therapy. I wouldn't have left the house again were it not for CBT with my GP last Feb, I'd been 'a shut in' for almost 4 months. Combined with meds and I'm almost back to 'normal' - whatever that is. 2 years of slow crawling. The key is to always be gentle with yourself.

Well done calypso - stay strong xx

I spent 6 years in therapy dealing with depression, doubt I'd be here now without it- far better to get help from a qualified professional than attempt to deal alone! x

calypso good on you, that took guts! hope you're doing ok. Massive fan of therapy myself, I had two years of psychotherapy after a bereavement and just starting cbt for ptsd after ds' death. It's hard work but worthwhile.

Does anyone else get that horrendous stretching feeling like your stomach muscle is about to split open down the middle?

Calypso well done! To me his behaviour proves u were right to ask him to leave. What sort of example would that be to set a child. Most St have been tough though.
yes haquoi to the stretching feeling but it was much worse last time. I think everything has already ripped and my lack of exercise has not fixed it!
Till it sounds like a long time but as long as they get to meet the new baby it may well b handy timing. If ure home while they are away done think he'll let them come hone early?

Is there still a fb group? Who do I msg to join? X

Happytimes PM me with your FB name, location and a description of your profile and cover photos. I'll send you a f/r. Once you've accepted I'll add you to the group. Then you can delete me as a friend if you wish to.

wow calypso thats some time you are having & it sounds like you a doing great. Definitely get yourself plenty of support and TLC

Well done for getting through that calypso

How are you off for RL support? You mentioned your friends, are they rallying around? Hope you're enjoying your breathing space

We are away this weekend which is lovely but to be honest I'd rather be home with all my creature comforts and DS's paraphernalia! I know that sounds very ungrateful. Home tomorrow though

Calypso. Well done. I realise the immediate pressure of bills must be huge, but hopefully you can put the day to day stress of his presence and that tension behind you and look forward to your future with DC.